I'm writing because you write openly about the negative things your dad did to you. I've written a poem about my difficult relationship with my beloved brother who is now quite ill with Parkinson's disease. The poem also deconstructs a lot of really harmful shit our father did to us. It's a good poem, I want it published. I feel like I have a right to my own story, and as an artist, I have the right use it in my art. At the same time, I don't want to hurt my family. Do you think I can publish?
I protected my emotionally abusive father for 46 years, to my own detriment, and all it did was enable more abuse by him, and more gaslighting by my mother. Literally nothing good came from it, and all that did was keep me in a toxic, unhealthy, harmful relationship out of a sense of guilt and societal obligation.
Your story is YOUR STORY and you have every right in the world to tell it. I don’t know what your relationship with your family is, so all I can tell you is: if you feel like your father will understand why you need to speak your truth, give him a head’s up. If your father, like mine, will only use that against you, he doesn’t deserve your time and attention.
But my advice clearly is influenced by my experience, my pain, and my childhood trauma. I recommend you reach out to someone who knows you IRL, share this with them, and ask them what they think, based on their knowledge of you and your experience with your family.
