#racc system

[racc00ning]

man this system shit is so stupid wdym my (source attached c tommy fictive) co host is a source attached c dream fictive. and we share source memories.

[racc00ning]

my system hot take the system community, especially on systok, care wayyy too much about what people use "system apps" for.

if you use simply plural or plural kit or octocon or some other "app for systems" for non-system purposes, good for u. idgaf.😐

use it for your ocs, your alterhumanity, whatever. i genuinely dont care, and neither should you. its not hurting anyone and it is most definitely not "taking away resources" from systems. it's a fucking app, its not a limited resource.

"op!! it takes money to run those apps!!" idk about octocon cus I don't use it, but SP and PK both have methods of which you can give money to them. as well as that, both the developers of SP and PK have talked about rolling out a premium versions of their apps. [simply plus] [pluralkit premium]

[racc00ning]

the system experience of wanting to get back into an old fandom you liked when you were younger but KNOWING there are still a bunch of undiscovered fictives from that source

[racc00ning]

shout out to Theseus who went from fronting like every other day to not fronting for the ENTIRETY of 2024??

[racc00ning]

30 Days of DID - Day 3

[ link A ] [ link B ] [ written by Tommy ]

Q3 (A): What are your thoughts on integration? Do you wish to integrate?

Okay to answer this question we need to establish a definition of integration. Generally, integration is the processing of information into ones understanding of themselves or their personal history. When integration fails, that is dissociation. When it comes to DID, integration in its lowest form can include lowering amnesia barriers, increasing communication and cooperation between alters, gaining an increased control of switching, minimizing dissociation, and coping. In its most extreme form, it is complete fusion of the system down into one singular identity. For many years these terms were used interchangeably all to refer to the act of complete or final fusion.

We would like to integrate to the point of functional plurality. We do not want to final fuse. Integration is integral to the processing of any event, trauma, or emotion. Every system in a healing process will most likely integrate to some extent. Integration is important and necessary for the processing of trauma, so of course we need to integrate to some extent, btu we do not want to final fuse. I think we'd like a lower headcount, if we could get it down to like 20-50 one day that'd be great, but not anything near final fusion.

Q3 (B): What does healing look like for you?

At the moment, healing for us looks like self-care and doing the best to provide for the system and the body as we can.

In the future, we hope to be able to integrate to be more functional as a system, be less effected by trauma in my day-to-day, and to have a lower headcount. We hope that if we can deal with the mental, we can deal easier with the physical which has to take priority most of the time.

[racc00ning]

30 Days of DID - Day 2

[ link A ] [ link B ] [ written by tommy ]

Q2 (A): Who knows about your system? Who do you want to know? What do you feel like it’s like coming out as multiple?

We're pretty open about our system. Our four closest friends know, a handful of our less close friends, a few ex-friends, and whoever decided to believe the rumor that was spread about me at school thinking I have DID a year or two ago. Basically if we even semi-frequently speak to you outside of school, then you probably know we're a system.

People who know us online know about it as well. Really, if you have any of our socials (whether you know us in primarily person or online) you can probably figure it out because we post about it and it's in our bio most the time, with the exception of our Instagram.

Family-wise, we've told my brother and one of my cousins I was close to when I was little. We've not told our sister or either of our parents. We want to, but we just don't think it's a good idea right now. However I have tried to drop hints repeatedly about dissociation, amnesia, and identity confusion and we have gotten clocked a few times but we denied it. We do this in hopes that maybe one of our parents will take us seriously and finally get us a therapist.

Telling people can be scary, but relieving. Even though it goes well most of the time, we never truly know whose going to react what way or whose going to have what wrong misconceptions and beliefs about systems. The problem is we don't like not telling people because we feel like we're somehow lying to them. We have to pretend to be a person we aren't and we don't like that. If we tell someone and they're chill, that weight is off of our back and it is very nice.

Q2 (B) How do you experience DID? Do you find your symptoms manifest more physically, emotionally, mentally, etc?

This question is a hard one for me tbh.

I would say we have all of the above? We have other conditions so it can sometimes be hard to tell what comes from where.

Physically, we experience a lot of brain fog from our dissociation (and vise versa) so sometimes we basically loose the ability to speak, think, move, etc.. We also have POTS and different alters have different sensitivities/awareness of it, so they push the body wayyy too far and I come back to front the next day basically bed ridden because they genuinely just don't notice our symptoms or don't feel them as much. At the same time, what feels normal to me might feel debilitating to another alter. Another small thing is that some of our alters have different glasses prescriptions? Like Achilles has significantly worse vision than I do and he takes our eye tests so I can't wear our new glasses.

Emotionally, I would say it's very much like flipping a switch. It's like we'll be sobbing and then someone will switch in and be fine in a few seconds and then the alter who was crying will switch back in and we'll be crying again. Also different alters have different capacities for/ranges of emotion. I'm extremely easy to upset but Cadmus, our emergency protector, is extremely neutral.

Mentally, it's mostly just internal voices, amnesia, and identity confusion. One really frustrating thing is that I've had people repeatedly tell me one specific detail of a trauma from about 7 years ago and every time they tell me I forget and I cannot figure out why. Every time we're told it just leaves our mind. We also have particularly bad phantom sensations, which can lead to very intense dysphoria about how we look compared to how we visualize ourselves in headspace.

[racc00ning]

i fianlly found a system app alternative that i like!! hooray!!

[racc00ning]

every now and then i think about my ex partner system and how crazy some of those pairings were

wdym i, c tommyinnit from the dreamsmp, was dating c!Ranboo, Sal Fisher, Tomura Shigaraki, and Jeff the fucking Killer