My fully white mother's desperation to do everything she can do to undermine me reconnecting to my native heritage because she's mad my mixed father divorced her. She knows that I'm mixed and throughout my life has tried to make me be as white as possible including damaging my wavy hair to force it straight and making me insecure about being slightly tan (to be clear I'm white passing my mom is just exceptionally colorist to the point I'm too dark for her and so is my grandma who's fully white but my mom claims someone in her family must've cheated with a black man because my grandmother's parents are from South Africa because "look at her... She's like y'know?")
To be clear my dad is very disconnected but my grandpa grew up around other Shawnee kids and has a lot of stories primarily about his mother and I have a lot of respect for my great grandma. I almost got to meet her as a baby but she sadly died a bit before I was born.
My mom shuts me up anytime I talk about my family's history on my dad's side or mention that I'm mixed because it makes her uncomfortable and well she raised me white so shouldn't I just accept I'm just white? (She also hid the fact I was mixed from me until I turned 18 and lied to my dad to convince him I already knew so he would never tell me. I hated my ethnic features and developed body dysmorphia in fucking elementary school in part because of her. She made me feel gross and wrong. I have a very wide set nose, smaller eyes, and pretty broad features. I'm also intersex on top of being mixed and it feels like she took every opportunity to mock me for my ethnicity and intersex features)
Whether she likes it or not, you're a person of color, and your mother shouldn't mock you for your appearance. I'm sorry anon, this is just despicable.
