#radiancekin

[fictionkinfessions]

for the rarepair ask game: i'm the radiance from hollow knight and i was dating godseeker. there are like less than 30 godiance shippers out there. 90% of godiance fanworks are made by one person and there's literally only one fic about us on ao3. haven't i been through enough can't i just have some nice pictures of me and my wife

[fictionkinfessions]

i haven't been here in a while, have i?

well. one of my friends is currently playing hollow knight for the first time. they know that i'm kin from it, but they don't know who i am. it was funny at first, with them calling me their "primary source" and asking me about their favorite characters from a "primary source perspective", but the further into the game they get, the sadder it's gotten for me.

a week ago, they came to me upset about what had happened to myla—or, rather, upset about the fact that after discovering her, their madd began making them think about a loved one of theirs becoming infected. i considered just telling them who i was right then and there, saying "the infection is under my control and i wouldn't infect anyone you cared about," but i didn't. i said "as a certain hollow knight character, i would not let that happen to anyone you love." that calmed them down. i don't know if they realized what i meant by those words.

earlier tonight, it happened again. the infected crossroads. they were crying. i couldn't bring myself to say anything for a while. i eventually settled on "i'm sorry," and they said "it's alright, i just need time to cope." they have no idea what i was really saying, what i was really apologizing for. even with all that i did to repent in my own timeline, having a friend of mine so upset over what i did is...really making the reality of my actions hurt that much more. i can't imagine how i would feel now if i hadn't begun to make up for my mistakes back when i was still in hallownest.

...i'm just glad they didn't say "it's not your fault." i...don't think i would have been able to deal with that. it was. it really was.

— the radiance, hollow knight

'

[fictionkinfessions]

not only did i get to dress as myself this year and travel with a bunch of my friends, two of them were also dressed as hollow knight characters (the knight and quirrel)! the ones who knew i was kin were cracking jokes with me the entire time :] this is probably the best halloween i've ever had. i'm so tired but i'm so happy. i got to be me.

— the radiance, hollow knight

'

[fictionkinfessions]

i’ve had a peculiar memory looping in my head for quite some time now. i am in white palace. the pale king is sitting next to me, weeping onto my shoulder. he is mumbling — whether to me or himself, i’m not quite certain — about what a terrible king he was, how he did everything wrong, how horribly he had failed everyone in hallownest. i am holding him in my embrace. it is all i can do. i have no words to comfort him; or perhaps i simply have no voice to say them with. (not literally, of course. i am not a vessel.)

i cannot fathom the circumstances in which we would have had this interaction. i once read a fanfiction in which i was told that i was just like the pale king. i was flung into a rage so furious that i had to spend several minutes just to calm myself down. it is a strange wrath, one that lies dormant in my heart and soul and flares up with an intensity that i have never felt before. it feels as though it is subdued, somehow; come from a place deep within me that i can never fully access. it is the fury of a goddess, carried in my spirit — a fury that my current body was never equipped to handle. perhaps it is for my own sake that i can only feel so much of it. its strength is already more than anything i have known before. if the pale king ignites this raging flame within me, how could i have been sympathizing with him? and yet, here we are.

it has certainly made me think, and i’ve come to realize something: the pale king and i have much more in common than either of us ever thought. we were both terrified of the situations we found ourselves in, and made decisions in our desperation to salvage what was happening that we never would have made had we been of sound mind. as a consequence of our actions, the people that we loved suffered, and eventually, our downfalls and deaths awaited us. we rotted in our dreams before we could ever be forgiven or forgive ourselves for what we had done. i’d never thought i had shared anything with him until now. now i see that we shared an experience no one else in hallownest could have understood. perhaps that is why we shared such a tender and emotional moment together.

i think i have misjudged you, wyrm, at least to some degree. under different circumstances, perhaps we could have gotten along; or perhaps our shared experience of hurting each other while trying to protect ourselves is the reason we have anything in common at all. who’s to say? if we were to ever meet again, i’d like to think that, despite everything, we could be friends this time around. we’re such different people now, after all. i am willing to come to a truce with you. it hardly matters now, when all is already said and done, but there is only one way to start to heal what we’ve broken, no matter how little or how late. my light goes out to you, and this time, i bid you only peaceful dreams.

- yours truly, the old light, the radiance.

[fictionkinfessions]

new kin memory just dropped: getting into a fistfight with grimm. absolutely fucking hysterical. my radiance timeline cannot be normal for five seconds can it (source is hollow knight)

[fictionkinfessions]

today i will watch a video of my boss battle. i'm sure that this will not make me deeply upset, bring back any bad memories, or cause me to have to spend the rest of the day repeatedly shaking off the phantom sensation of void tendrils dragging me down. /s

the video i watched didn't even include the part where i actually died, either. i'm sure that would upset me far more than this one already did. i'm not going to find out, though, at least not for now.

i'm never going to be able to play my source, am i?

- the radiance, hollow knight

[fictionkinfessions]

as someone kin from hollow knight who is also objectum, i'd like to say that the pale king and i can agree on one thing: buzzsaws are attractive - the radiance

[fictionkinfessions]

if i had a nickel for every time i was a villainous sun god in an underground society that could brainwash people with my light in such a way that caused them to go insane and undergo severe physical and mental changes, i would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

– the radiance (hollow knight) and the dawn machine (sunless sea)