i’ve had a peculiar memory looping in my head for quite some time now. i am in white palace. the pale king is sitting next to me, weeping onto my shoulder. he is mumbling — whether to me or himself, i’m not quite certain — about what a terrible king he was, how he did everything wrong, how horribly he had failed everyone in hallownest. i am holding him in my embrace. it is all i can do. i have no words to comfort him; or perhaps i simply have no voice to say them with. (not literally, of course. i am not a vessel.)
i cannot fathom the circumstances in which we would have had this interaction. i once read a fanfiction in which i was told that i was just like the pale king. i was flung into a rage so furious that i had to spend several minutes just to calm myself down. it is a strange wrath, one that lies dormant in my heart and soul and flares up with an intensity that i have never felt before. it feels as though it is subdued, somehow; come from a place deep within me that i can never fully access. it is the fury of a goddess, carried in my spirit — a fury that my current body was never equipped to handle. perhaps it is for my own sake that i can only feel so much of it. its strength is already more than anything i have known before. if the pale king ignites this raging flame within me, how could i have been sympathizing with him? and yet, here we are.
it has certainly made me think, and i’ve come to realize something: the pale king and i have much more in common than either of us ever thought. we were both terrified of the situations we found ourselves in, and made decisions in our desperation to salvage what was happening that we never would have made had we been of sound mind. as a consequence of our actions, the people that we loved suffered, and eventually, our downfalls and deaths awaited us. we rotted in our dreams before we could ever be forgiven or forgive ourselves for what we had done. i’d never thought i had shared anything with him until now. now i see that we shared an experience no one else in hallownest could have understood. perhaps that is why we shared such a tender and emotional moment together.
i think i have misjudged you, wyrm, at least to some degree. under different circumstances, perhaps we could have gotten along; or perhaps our shared experience of hurting each other while trying to protect ourselves is the reason we have anything in common at all. who’s to say? if we were to ever meet again, i’d like to think that, despite everything, we could be friends this time around. we’re such different people now, after all. i am willing to come to a truce with you. it hardly matters now, when all is already said and done, but there is only one way to start to heal what we’ve broken, no matter how little or how late. my light goes out to you, and this time, i bid you only peaceful dreams.
- yours truly, the old light, the radiance.