Polnareff dealing with a depressed s/o who has on and off depressive episodes. And is scared that pol might think they don't love him. Or they think he thinks they are falling out of love with him. When it's just depression taking hold of the s/o.
NOTE: cw for depression, mental health, etc!! also post part 3 so death mentions!!
> You admire Polnareff’s strength.
> Despite defeating Dio with the Joestars, losses and deaths were inevitable. He had lost three dear companions that fateful day and almost went knocking on heaven’s door a few times. He lost his beloved sister and sought revenge for her. But upon first impressions, Polnareff never came across as a man who harbored such a tragedy. He hardly let that show - occasionally, he would have a nightmare and his joyful blue eyes would lose their flicker when he was in deep thought. But he managed himself well.
> So why couldn’t you? While you know that one’s experience is different and unique, you find yourself thinking your experiences doesn’t compare to Polnareff’s. He’s always laughing, has a smile on his face, he never lashes out on you, and he has so much patience than he’s given credit for. Your boyfriend was there during each depressive episodes. He helped you get out of bed, made sure you were adequately fed, remind you to take your medication, and tried to get you out of the house.
> Never once has he complained when you’re feeling at your lowest - cause he’s probably been there before. But there’s a nagging voice in your head that you’re not good enough for him. You’re just extra luggage, an unwanted weight dragging your boyfriend down. One day, he’s gonna realize that he doesn’t want to deal with person who can’t even drag themself out of bed. Your brain tells you that one day, he’s gonna realize that you’re unable to care and provide for his emotional needs. He’s going to see how selfish you are, truly see what a stick in the mud you are, and how he can find someone better.
> But Polnareff will always be there to reassure you he isn’t going anywhere when your intrusive thoughts bubble to the surface and releases from the tip of your tongue. No, Jean, you don’t deserve this. Just tell me you’re unhappy with me, tell me you want to move on, I’m not worth your time, your energy, your love-- It hurts him, to see how much that little devil in your head is more convincing than him. He wish he could show you how worthy you are to him. Or how if it wasn’t for you remaining by his side, he probably would have resort to booze to comfort him. How you are so worth his time and energy - because you helped him through his darker days, when he used to doubt himself as a worthy lover to you. Polnareff wants to convey the infinite reasons on why he loves you; you’re so much more to him than extra luggage. And even if you were a heavy burden, he doesn’t mind carrying you at all.
> But he knows better than to overwhelm you; he knows it’s best for his actions to speak rather than his words. While he gives you comfort, reassuring you each time when you’re in doubt, he still holds you close. He makes each of his kisses meaningful, even the more playful and silly ones. He always make sure to touch you lovingly, gentling caressing each inch of skin. He’ll surprise you with your favorite treats from the local bakery or some flowers he saw while out running errands. Anything to chase away that grey cloud looming over your head.
> And he doesn’t mind to this over and over. Because Jean loves you, even when you cannot find a reason to love yourself. And he has plenty of love for you to make up where you lack.
