#radioanon

[yanniest]

Rumi thought in a song lyric:

"You can run from your demons until you are exhausted / One day you will have to stop and find out what they wanted”

(Charlie’s Inferno — That Handsome Devil)

— RadioAnon

oh that's 100% Rumi

[whatwordsmiss]

Glad to hear you’ll be giving your thoughts! I’m excited to hear where we align and diverge, such winding paths in the road are we

Also I found several others

"A Message for Ava" (https://youtu.be/QTv7-UWEzgk?si=0bNsrDmh1Z9IGIDD) from, again, The Cloverfield Paradox — I like to imagine this is Zoey and Mira's perspective during the chapter 5 phone call, specifically (SPOILERS) realizing Rumi doesn't want to be found, but recommitting to the mission with the hope of finding her anyway because she's worth it

"Sarah Connor's Theme" (https://youtu.be/sJk8BjEkmx0?si=La2lacfZGzQd_NVB) from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles — Representing (again, SPOILERS) Mi-yeong Ryu, and her protection. I'm intrigued by the inverse parallels between her and Sarah Connor (I won't elaborate for fear of spoilers but the events of Terminator: Dark Fate's prologue and its fallout play heavily into it).

"The Princess (Live)" (https://youtu.be/4RomCDAWHz4?si=Tuu5OBfZ83hELzq7) from Slay the Princess — Maybe it's just because I'm part of a team modding StP and I've worked with this theme a lot, but I love it as an “aimless floating” theme. Rumi, on some level, wants the currents to take her and I think that the strings here represent that beautifully. Also, choice! The theme of choice haha!

"Bird with a Broken Wing" (https://youtu.be/sytRDSFjJzQ?si=Ds5vq9CtGv3zgSrj) by Weezer — Unintended parallels? In my Weezer? It's more likely than you think! It's that little bit of hope left in Rumi, strangled and suffocating, still serenading whoever it can, reflecting on what she's got left to do.

"Lowly" (https://youtu.be/3p7x3PiB36c?si=7i9DlHS8JR9pwnnT) by Young Fathers from 28 Years Later — "You're the lowly one that I adore / You're the lowly one at my door / You're the only one that fire scorched / And I? I'm lonely" Need I say more? (Also "Scream if you wanna come down and save me" fits so well with the formatting breaks)

"What Could Have Been" (https://youtu.be/liPu1_aPH5k?si=D--L8hT1np5Zhfyb) by Sting ft. Ray Chen from Arcane: League of Legends — Yes, it's Rumi's self-loathing but also… Mira and Zoey had their weapons trained on her. Celine convinced her to hide for that long… No wonder she let her other half run wild

"Heartbreaking" (https://youtu.be/yBZYRl90bos?si=U_nZbOtbVQY2VFX2) by Angelo Baladamenti from Twin Peaks: The Return — The Medium AU; that kinda tragic malaise that permeates that world fits with this so well

"Call Me, Call Me" (https://youtu.be/10YHsVc01IY?si=JiMJHYRMJ2nAN8Us) by Steve Conte from Cowboy Bebop. The "Searching" anthem to me. In my head it switches POV between all the members of HUNTR/X

"One More Light" (https://youtu.be/Tm8LGxTLtQk?si=8dZclP13g4YM57o0) by Linkin Park — ZoeyMira again, reflecting on the “maybe” of failure and resolving to carry on (I like to imagine Mira on guitar, Zoey on vocals, duet on the chorus

[haunted voice] This was gonna be a shorter ask. It really was

— Radio Anon

Hi RadioAnon! Excuse the longer delay on my response to this one -- life has been doing its thing, unforch. But! My thoughts are under the cut again, but I would be remiss if I didn't begin with some sentimentality.

I cherish these songs, and I can’t ever thank you enough for sharing in this story with me. I don’t think I could have ever imagined this sort of conversation and community and cyclical creativity in response to anything I wrote. The excitement, and support, and engagement is just... It blows me away. It makes me feel so incredibly humbled and beyond appreciative. What a wonderful thing fandom is!

This has been such a gift, and one I’m going to take with me forever. Thank you.

A Message for Ava

Immediately, I’ve been taken out by the strings. I had to actually rewind the first minute and some change simply because of the magical build of this piece. It feels like I’m drifting through space, through this in between existence that is slow and viscous. It’s searching. And then, the sound becomes warmer—Rumi, drifting, has been knocked askance by the phone ringing. Momentum and inertia, her girls her girls!, are felt as the music swells like a wave. Expanding. Contracting. Inhale. Exhale. Running, running. Faster and faster!

But… Oh. There’s grief, in this beauty, in this relief of movement. But there is also determination, just as you said. Specifically, the building just before the three-minute mark had me covered with goose bumps.

And I cannot get over this singular, piercing note that the strings seem to be running after. Mixed with this ethereal, floating moment. All leading to the extraordinary moment at 4:30! The very feeling we’ve been running towards! She is found! She will be found! She is in the kitchen—Celine is in her office—her girls—her girls! Oh, but how that desperation lingers; how it gives way, once more, to this crushing wave of grief.

… And rumi floats… drifts… always just out of reach…

This was a beautiful piece on its own, but set in this scene you’ve chosen… Wow.

Sarah Connor's Theme

Oh man… I’m nodding, I’m nodding. And—so sorry, but—keeping my thoughts to myself until the fic progresses! But know that I am with you on this.

The Princess (Live)

Oh, well this was just lovely. I completely agree on the floating vibes to this piece. Especially for the end of chapter five. (Though, holy smokes, your with gentle hands piece… I need you to truly understand that I have been looping that, and only that, while working on chapter six. It’s beyond gorgeous.) It also makes me think of this fic’s Honmoon, too. A gentle wave, rocking almost like a lullaby. Its brave, strong hunter… she deserves a break…

(Also! How cool that you are part of a modding team! I looked up the game and it sounds SO fun. I might have to give it a go soon!)

Bird with a Broken Wing

Oooooh Weezer! (Also… this specific YouTube link… I’m convinced you’ve somehow hacked my drafts for this story haha). Okay. Yeah. These lyrics are toooooooo apropos.

Lowly

This was a very fun song! Very disjointed, but in a way that worked sooo well. And yeeees the lyrics are too good! Too apt! I was especially taken by: In an instant, light was faded / In an instant, concepts change / Is your life more fragment?

What Could Have Been

I’m already unwell just because it’s from Arcane. And it’s this specific song. And these lyrics. Jesus christ, these lyrics. And the distortion of the vocals, bleeding into the formatted static and glitches. God. God!!!!! An instant on repeat song for the correct level of emotional devastation. Congrats on this being the hundredth song added to my rumi playlist! “I hope you know we had everything.”

This one has me lying prone on the floor. I have no other thoughts because I've been rendered speechless.

Heartbreaking

Oh chapter three, you’ll always be famous to me. I could go swimming in this song. There’s languor, and melancholy, and yet… there’s life, somewhere within it, too. Thank you for this one.

Call Me Call Me

RadioAnon, how on earth do you find these songs????? Each one is so different from the next, and yet, they’re all so incredibly accurate! And yes, I am also perfectly picturing a new verse for each girl. I especially enjoyed the instrumental break about three minutes in. Man… This one has me nodding my head, and also in emotional pain lmao

One More Light

And finishing this list with another Linkin Park! Makes me feel better about potentially having a second MCR chapter title coming up lol

Anyway, this song has ruined me, actually. I love that you assigned a role for each girl. Made it hurt that much more! I also need you to know, that this song has me so incredibly excited to get to future parts of this story. I’ve been trying to stick to chronological writing, but I may have to cheat and sketch out the bare-bones of a distant chapter now :-)

RadioAnon, as always… Thank you.

[whatwordsmiss]

https://www.tumblr.com/whatwordsmiss/814188013961789440

Fuck the wound to reshape its place in your body, marry the ghost to let it know it will always have a place in your heart, kill the past because it doesn’t define your future

Am I doing this right

— RadioAnon

Good GRIEF. yeah. Yeah, I think you’re doing it right

[whatwordsmiss]

Rumi-or-Zoeycore quote to me:

Really, I'm always afraid of having a sub-optimal experience. I would rather do the same thing over and over again with a guaranteed result than to try something new and risk not enjoying it, because the whole time I'm doing the new thing, I'm just gonna be thinking about how much more fun I would be having if I stuck with the old thing. […] People say you should leave your comfort zone. Those are stupid people. Maybe you just have a bad comfort zone, that's why you wanna leave it all the time. Maybe your comfort zone isn't as comfy as my zone! I like mine, that's why I stay there!

— RadioAnon

Oooooooh. Yes, absolutely. The beginning is very much rumi, and then as soon as i read "fun" I swapped to zoey. that's one of my favorite things about these girls --- you can have the same exact input, the same sort of behavior, but the motivation---the output---is in a different genre.

rumi: i will do things the same way every time because that is how it has always been done and who am i to change it (even if it's actively hurting me)

zoey: i will do things the same way every time because i know this way is safe and a guarantee (even if there might be something better that works for all of me)

mira: i will do things the same way every time because i have fought so hard against what others have told me to do, that i must continue to fight or they'll win (even if i shouldn't have to, even if i should learn to trust something/someone new)

[whatwordsmiss]

https://www.tumblr.com/whatwordsmiss/808949665371455488/me-listening-to-shuffle-while-reading-let-me-be

Hi! Same anon! Glad you liked the song choice. I likewise am absolutely enamored with music and am always looking for recs / giving recs so it’s nice to connect with someone who thinks the same!

Anyway, I have a few more songs, feel free to share as many of your thoughts on them as you want, I’d love to hear them!

"Superhero" from Alan Wake II (https://youtu.be/HJc7n7eabT0?si=HReEeShBF8B5Bl1C) by Mougleta — Mira and Zoey's POV in the story! You’ll see why :))

"Shadow Over Me" from TRON Ares (https://youtu.be/_XGN5WtacjY?si=g8WSZE5kfNwMjHgi) by Nine Inch Nails — The bit of Rumi that wants to come home vs. the static / her own doubt and fear

"I Will Get My Freedom" (https://youtu.be/CQHnTEy44Do?si=tVDRz14DVveuPSVJ) and "Asleep at the Wheel" (https://youtu.be/nxmbQQ4be28?si=scNaf19lXeD6jLxY) from Iron Lung — Ok so for all the mentions of the sun vanishing (and the entire ambiance of the Ch. 5 “Burial” world) the first thought was “Quiet Rapture”.

"Promise of the Forgotten" (https://youtu.be/rP7ihHjkmd8?si=dNS4J1Uyl_1_fa8E) from Silent Hill 2 (2024) — The second world in Chapter 5 had an innocence that was just on the edge of disconcerting, this track felt like the best fit

"The Clicker" (https://youtu.be/kyC3RtYQBbc?si=VzL_oK5xjBWjZK_y) from Alan Wake — There's a tragic relief in the strings that I felt fit the phone call pretty perfectly

"The Fate of Little Adelaide" (https://youtu.be/ZoeJXaIlJQI?si=UxMothdX6ABEX0gC) from Doctor Who — Rumi lamenting over her lack of options, Adelaide never really having a chance because the Dalek spared her, the parallels draw themselves

"We Go On" (https://youtu.be/VEJ41lW90rQ?si=KfgIvFr8H5XcZRRu) from Doctor Sleep — The Honmoon deciding to put Rumi on the path even if she doesn't understand

"Rosswood" (https://youtu.be/qGa7vuIVrug?si=pR-99DYJMI7VnEsj) from Marble Hornets — The peace that the Elseworlds give Rumi is fragile because her choice to stay is a choice to run from something else. This piece has that disconcerting underbelly and I love it

"Compromises" (https://youtu.be/XbZe6nGnqQw?si=39ISga7EPFn96bwn) from The Backrooms — A song for us, noticing all the things wrong with the world that Rumi chooses to elide or ignore

"Strangers Things (Extended)" (https://youtu.be/pCfpTK0IB-w?si=At1n6OCTd0WcoXzl) from Stranger Things — I made a mashup between this and "Free" and it just changed the tone to "Free to choose a far darker path" which lines up with this story's vibes nicely

"404.4 Going For A Walk" (https://youtu.be/HI7KG4yJu3E?si=oAcM1JeZdRQAN-3E) from Mr. Robot — Again, Rumi stumbling through these worlds like a newborn deer, getting further from where she needs to be in pursuit of what she thinks she wants

"The End of the World" (https://youtu.be/RKfCuanLw4Y?si=2kDEWLsFafGi8RV9) from Terminator Zero — Rumi's choice at the end of Chapter 3; pursuing her peace and condemning how many others in service of that?

"The Stanley Parable 2" (https://youtu.be/xEK4swgNr_k?si=JOIwMMigjstYqIUj) from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe — I believe The Narrator put it best, so I’ll just crib the quote: "Will you cling desperately to your frail life, or will you let it go peacefully? Another choice! Make it count."

Anyway that was a lot, I hope you enjoy!

— Radio Anon

My response is under the cut because I really wanted to take my time with each piece and write down my reactions and thoughts. RadioAnon, once again you have blown me away with your flawless curation of music for liminal and specific scenes. I have no idea who you are, but you are clearly someone who knows music and soundtracks inside and out. It has been so very cool just getting to read your own thoughts and reasons behind each song.

What a gift!

Superhero:

Oh. Okay. So this is how we’re starting. Good god. The music itself is beautiful, especially the gentle distortion to it all, but the lyrics?? The soul crushing guilt and regret??? “Lost like a ghost” in there, as well? Talking about broken bonds and souls???? Good lord.

Shadow Over Me:

Anon, I need you to understand that I’ve already got “Copy Of A” and “Came Back Haunted” on my rumination playlist, along with so many other trent Reznor instrumentals. All of that to say, this song has me LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND. I think I need to just rename this au the nin/trent Reznor au. The build up of static and tension and overstimulation???? The emotion during the song’s apex?? Screaming about running out of time????? PLEASE. IT’S TOO GOOD.

I Will Get My Freedom + Asleep at the Wheel:

Both of these songs (especially relistening after the freaking original theme you composed) hit incredibly hard, in particular for chapter five. I finally looked up what Iron Lung was about, and now I want to watch this movie even more. It’s actually super funny, because I was just talking to a friend about how I really want to write some sort of true psychological thriller that digs deep (excuse the pun) into a sense of vast unknown pushing in until there’s so much nothing it’s suffocating. Whether it’s a deep ocean au or some sort of space exploration, this sound track is a banger on its own, but—god— the heartbeat in Asleep… I feel like I’m in telltale.

Also, I just looked up Quiet Rapture and yes yes yes nodding my head, shaking your hand.

Promise of the Forgotten

I’m not sure how you continue to do this, but you find the perfect songs for each moment. Yes, I wanted Rumi’s birthday to feel like—a familiar and loved lullaby, played on a piano that’s out of tune. With an intentional focus to it—don’t look away, don’t look away, do not look behind you. And is that my glockenspiel I hear??? Oh… the ending… Yes, a thousand times.

The Clicker

A tragic relief is very apt. The first real connection — and they’ve never been so far from each other, so impossible to touch to reach. Even around the 0:35 when the cello(?) bows (lol) out, and the piano moves to center, the half notes are so reminiscent of Rumi watching her blood drip onto the kitchen floor. I loved writing that phone call scene so very much, because I wanted to introduce this sense of… a moment of reprieve, but only because Rumi is so out of it. There is so much going on, so much has happened to her, and the only thing she can focus on is her blood… gently… dripping… It’s so… red…

The Fate of Little Adelaide

NOT YOU HITTING ME WITH THE WATERS OF MARS PAIN. OUGH. I can’t even think too much about this one or I’ll never pick myself up off the floor. How many options do you truly have if fate already knows your name? What choice could you possibly make, other than the one you will make again, and again, and again. The strings are so triumphant, and yet mournful: an apology, a thank you, a hello—but always, a goodbye.

We Go On

This one, I think, has felt the most kind so far. A gentle ushering, without haste, without pressure… Something to guide, an attempt to soothe. Opening the front door to a garden gilded gold under a warm sun, to a sky that is blue and cradling clouds that are soft and slow. A life without burden, without shame. A second chance. Oh, Honmoon… the love you have for your children, your protectors, will never not make me emotional.

Rosswood

You are hitting me with so many pieces of nostalgia, and I never anticipated one of them being Marble Hornets. Hello again, thirteen-year-old Maddie. We are in the woods and it is peaceful and gentle and the birds—and the wind—and the—we are in—we are—the woods—peaceful—it is—the wind—birds—we—we are—gentle—the woods—the wo—the—we—peaceful. We are in the woods and it is peaceful and gentle and the birds are chirping and the wind is blowing. And we are here.

Compromises

Listen. My personal favorite thing about this fic is how much I get to play with the fourth wall. It has been so fun and such a treat to repeat phrases or knock something three inches to the left or just make them wrong. And this piece??? Oh man oh man. The PHONE RINGING immediately got me. The panning of the cacophony??? It is so disjointed and abrasive and, oh I love this so very much.

Stranger Things (Extended)

Stranger Things my beloved. Also, I am not at all surprised to learn you made a mashup of this and Free. Again, I truly believe you might be the coolest person on earth. How does that feel knowing you’re the coolest person around??

Hm… I should do an 80s au… Oh wait—I already am :sob: I need to finish that…

404.4 Going For A Walk

Another show I gotta watch! The importance in this piece, the realization… the slow and methodical—if not as peaceful as she hoped—march forward that Rumi cannot pull herself away from… Yes.

The End of the World

Chapter three, my beloved. Chapter three, I could have stayed in you for the rest of my life. Chapter three, my most bittersweet ending. Rumi, you sweet girl, all you want is everyone you love to be so close to you, to be safe, to be happy, to be alive.

The Stanley Parable 2

You know… I actually replayed parts of this game this summer. I wonder how much of this game primed me for writing this fic? Stanley Parable and Antichamer… games of my youth that definitely didn’t have a lasting impact on my psyche :-)

[yanniest]

Ask game! Ft. My own answers

2 — sometimes, I have weird dreams that make just enough sense, and I try and write them into some semblance of reality

8 — Zoey promised herself on the plane that she would start with Da Bomb Beyond Insanity and work backwards because she needs to Beat Bobby.

11 — Absolutely jump around. Sometimes, a sentence / scene / lone that is so apropos yet ephemeral that I have to capture it before it slips into the ether.

12 — They really should have outlines. They really should

15 — I’m a night owl, but it also just depends

27 — dialogue and character voice

28 — moment-to-moment scenery and description

77 — You have the pre-defined characters it’s just the question of “how do you push them into an area they haven’t gone yet?”

— RadioAnon

ooh i like this. everyone else has to give me their own answers too. we're sharing now.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

see i don't get it in dreams it's like. daydreams maybe? but sometimes i am just gifted an idea from a discussion

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

sdfsdf

uh so my current fic is porn without plot so i don't know what could be considered a spoiler. "it's not about a dog" maybe

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

i'm more of a writing in order kind of person, but i do sometimes write parts of a future scene if i get a specific wording in my head that i wanna remember to use

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

yeah outlines are crucial for me, especially if it's not just a oneshot. i generally stick pretty close to my outlines but sometimes things change as i'm writing. usually scene details and not major plot details, though

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

i'm also a night owl!

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

yeah i also think i'm probably best at dialogue. i also think i'm decent at metaphors

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

definitely descriptions. i look to IsufferfromYD a lot for it bc they're absolutely masterful

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

i think it's the same for me, too! i like taking the characters and putting them in different situations and thinking about how that might change things from canon and how it might keep things the same

[spectacularbastard]

:)) Clayface trailer out wheee

(Directed by James Watkins [The Woman in Black, Eden Lake, Speak No Evil, Black Mirror — "Shut Up and Dance"], written by Mike Flanagan)

(CW for Body Horror, unsettling imagery)

https://youtu.be/6IxPD-jNdwM?si=7ckqm798Q8xbbg1e

— RadioAnon

oh shit that looks dope as hell??

[whatwordsmiss]

https://www.tumblr.com/whatwordsmiss/814084309952724992/quote-from-daredevil-born-again-that-made-me

I’m ok; I hope you are too /gen

— RadioAnon

Well, it’s only been five days since you sent this (I am so, so sorry for missing those notifications) but I hope you’re still doing well!! It’s finally warming up in my area and I am soooo thankful for it haha