Crashing
This is the moment where the caffeine rush dies, where the high becomes a low, and the drunk you had is slowly turning into a very weak tipsy feeling. It's over and now you're wondering how you're going to get it back. You're wondering if you're ever going to get it back. If this empty feeling will ever go away or if it will ever be filled. That hole you're feeling hurts because coffee makes you happy. Weed makes you calm. Alcohol makes you not give a shit an these things...make up you. When you're taken out of your element and place somewhere you can't access your needs you break. The empty feeling wasn't noticeable but you know yourself well enough to know that in a few days it'll come crashing just like that caffeine crash. You're crashing and you're very much aware of the internal battle going on in your mind, body, and soul...but what are you going to do about it? Nothing. You're going to do nothing because you don't know what to do...you thought this would be good for you and maybe it will. It doesn't feel that way as of now and you're not sure who to talk to. You're lonely, empty, and worst of all so damn sober. You're still depressed and you realize that running away from it doesn't change what it is. You're crashing from the caffeine. Your high is wearing off. Your drunken stupor is trending sober. You're scared shitless because you've hit a wall and there's no one to help break it. You need help...but will you wait until it's too late to ask for it?