Jan 23, 2022
Speed 2: Cruise Control
"This couple's relationship is sinking faster than the boat." --@carmelcritics
We're speeding our way towards SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL! Read the full ragetweeting!
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
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seen from Argentina
seen from Russia
seen from United States
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seen from Ukraine
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Sweden
seen from Ukraine
Speed 2: Cruise Control
"This couple's relationship is sinking faster than the boat." --@carmelcritics
We're speeding our way towards SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL! Read the full ragetweeting!
Love Never Dies
“As soon as I saw the GIANT ASS MIRROR in Christine's room I just knew the Phantom was going to come swanning through like HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.” --@carmelcritics
We're back from the dead to do Paint Never Dries! Er, I mean, LOVE NEVER DIES, the Phantom of the Opera sequel. Read the full ragetweeting!
Clash of the Titans
“This is a remake, right? Like, there was an original that someone took a look at and thought was worth making again?” --@carmelcritics
It's the oldest of conflicts... gods versus monsters versus savagely skeptical critics. We're watching the 2010 CLASH OF THE TITANS! Read the full ragetweeting!
(DNF for misuse of Greek mythology, misuse of CGI, and misuse of Mads Mikkelsen)
A Talking Cat!?!
“’I can only speak to you once, it's the rules.’ Oh there's RULES in this movie now?!” --@carmelcritics
Apparently shitty-looking talking cats are the in thing again, so... here we go with 2013's "A TALKING CAT!?!" Read the full ragetweeting!
The Adventures of Pinocchio
“Jim Henson was very dead by the time this movie came out. Lucky him.” --@carmelcritics
What happens when you combine Jim Henson, Queen, the 90s, and batshit Italian children's folktales about uncanny valley puppets? You get the 1996 ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO! Read the full ragetweeting!
*DNF because it was somehow not weird enough to escape being boring
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
"If it's not in 3D, how will we perceive the 3D??? It's going to look so bad!” “...Somehow I think it'll be okay.” --@carmelcritics
The kids are all right! Well, maybe. As all right as any of us can be when we're stuck in three dimensions. Yes, tonight it's SPY KIDS: 3-D! Read the full ragetweeting!
The Three Musketeers
“So, I have never read The Three Musketeers.” ”Well, that's good, because this movie does not have much in common with it. ” --@carmelcritics
All for one, and one for... all this nonsense. We're watching the 2011 version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS! Read the full ragetweeting.
Mamma Mia!
“Only true friends would sing an ABBA song for you in times of need.” “You have grasped the basic concept of this movie.” --@carmelcritics
What happens when you combine Sweden, Greece, pop music, celebrities, and dancing? That's right, Eurovis-- oh. Sorry. You get MAMMA MIA! Read the full ragetweeting!