Author: rainbow-irises.tumblr.com
Recipient: lackyducks.tumblr.com
Summary: Where there's snow, a snowball fight is sure to follow.
Notes: For the purposes of minimising confusion and plot devices, this is a “Ray never left AH” AU.
Warnings: N/A. A bit of swearing.
Word Count: 1,806
It starts with all of Achievement Hunter heading up to the snow. Actually, it starts with them visiting Funhaus over in LA, and playing games with them for a week. But they decide that, fuck it, they’re going to spend both weekends there too because they can. The first weekend they spend hitting up all the tourist attractions, spending time hanging out with RT West and generally relaxing after the mad dash in the office to get videos edited before they left. The second - they head up to the snow. - So in reality it starts when it’s winter and the lads are ready to see some snow. It’s been a couple of years since they’ve had a truly white Christmas. Texas isn’t known for snowfall (or even cold temperatures, really), and they’re prepared. They’ve been talking about the best way to build a snowball ever since they decided to spend early December in LA. Jack rolls his eyes as they start chattering excitedly even before they’re in the car. He slides into the driver’s seat and smiles softly and fondly. Geoff climbs into the passenger’s seat and catches Jack’s eye, smirking a little at the antics he’s sure are going to start up shortly. And then they’re off. - (Maybe it all starts when wee little Geoff sees snowfall for the first time. It’s a freak cold snap that brings it in, a mesmerising, floating wonder that he’s never seen before. He watches through the windows for a while, hypnotised by the slow, falling snowflakes. He doesn’t run out into it, not that time, but he does try and play in the few inches that did fall. It’s so cold against his skin, becoming slippery when it begins to melt as he tries to build a snowball in the slush that’s still around the next morning. But snow is snow is snow, and he’s never really forgotten that first time.) - They arrive when it’s still early. Early enough that there are still untouched tracts of snow from a fall the night before. They trudge slowly through the knee-deep snow, the lads talking animatedly up front, followed by a bemused Jack and Geoff, trailed by Ryan. “Hey Ryan, do you remember how to make a TNT cannon?” “Why do you need to know that?” “Well -” Gavin falls back, joining Ryan at the back of the pack, lowering his voice as the others keep moving. Ryan quirks an eyebrow when Gavin bends down to scoop a pile of snow into his hands. He rushes at Geoff, awkwardly flailing through the snow, trying all the while not to giggle. - (Maybe it starts when Ray is seven and he’s playing in the snow. His friend picks up a clump and throws it at him, and the cold of the snowball disintegrating on his cheek and seeping inside the warm folds of his scarf stuns him for a moment. It might have taken him a full second or two, but he grabs some too, and they’re on.) - Geoff hears the sound of crunching snow get louder behind him mere seconds before he feels rivulets of recently melted snow course down his neck. “You fucker - Gavin. I’m going to get you real hard!” Jack steps back, laughing, at the same that Geoff runs forwards, grabbing snow as he goes. Which places Jack right in front of Ryan. Who has a snowball ready to go, and aims for Jack’s exposed neck. “Oh you’re on, you asshole,” Jack mutters as he reaches to make a snowball of his own. It’s still loose when he throws it, and it breaks into tiny pieces as it flies towards Ryan. Ryan does end up with a face of snow, though, so Jack counts that as a victory. - What the four snow-covered Achievement Hunters don’t notice is the small but steadily building bunker. It’s a tight, three-walled thing, but with solid walls and a nice dug-out trench. Most importantly, it has good access to snow. They’ve stockpiled a good twenty-something snowballs when they first hear something crash against their walls. “Frag out!” Michael shouts, throwing a snowball without looking, startling Ray beside him. They wanted to assault his walls? Well, it was time to show them who was boss. - (Maybe it starts when Michael builds a snowman in his garden, overlooking the sidewalk. He puts his heart and soul into it, making sure it has all the right fittings - carrot nose, stick arms, and scarf to keep it warm. Sure, it’s a little rough around the edges, but there’s a distinct head and body, if not much roundness to either. The next morning, his finds a much finer looking snowman on the sidewalk, stick hands raised towards him like it’s trying to reach his shabbier one through the fence. He feels a bit disgruntled by the whole thing - thanks for showing him up, asshole - but he wonders about who had made it for weeks.) - Ray grins up at Michael from where he’s kneeling in the snow, a half-packed snowball in his mitten-clad hands. “Give them hell,” he says, and hands the snowball over to Michael. “You got it,” Michael smirks back, and straightens up from behind their defences. The first one flies towards the pile of limbs that Gavin and Geoff have become, and elicits a satisfying baby dinosaur squeak when it hits a sliver of exposed skin. The second one goes there too, and gets the same response. Michael’s grinning wildly when he swings around to aim for Ryan and Jack. Only to be greeted with a rather haphazard wall with two pairs of eyes peeking over the top. Michael locks eyes with Jack for a split second before Ryan and Jack sink beneath their meagre but effective shield. - (And maybe this all starts when Ryan is in college and his dorm decides to have a snowball fight, complete with rules and referees, and it dissolves into chaos anyway. He and his roommate build an elaborate fort, barely noticed by the other young adults steadily being covered in a fine layer of snow, and it’s glorious when they start using their system of covered trenches and guerilla attacks to assert their snowtime dominance.) - “Ok, can we breach their defences?” Jack whispers. “Well, we could go around,” Ryan replies, even as he he keeps making snowballs. “What do you mean?” “Here’s the plan -” - Michael keeps a snowball in his hand, waiting for either Jack or Ryan to show their faces again. There’s a suspiciously long pause when everything is quiet, and then Ryan starts firing snowballs steadily but accurately towards their base. Michael ducks, trying to avoid the worst of the projectiles. “What’s happening?” Ray asks as Michael presses his back against the barrier. “Ryan’s pelting us. What do we do?” “Wait til he runs out, right? He can’t have that many.” They wait, but it keeps going, pounding against their snow walls, until they see movement out of the corner of their eyes. “SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!” - (Ok, so maybe it starts when Jack is eight and away sick from school for a week. And when he gets back, he can’t help but be a little bit jealous of their stories about the snowball fight they’d had the week before. His friends’ recounts of the event grew ever more outrageous with time, until somehow the principal was hit in the face with a snowball and he then called an assembly of the whole community to tell them off for letting it get so out of hand. Looking back, even before the stories got out of the realm of possibility, there was probably the embellishment of a few overactive imaginations with a sprinkling of overenthusiasm, but he’d still been so annoyed with himself for being sick and missing out.) - His aim true, Jack’s snowball nails Michael in the centre of his chest. Michael grins for a split second, and then collapses into a heap on the ground. Jack has a heartbeat’s worth of time to be really fucking worried before Michael starts giggling through the obviously fake moans that he’s making. Ray rushes over to Michael’s side and cradles his head like a soldier in a videogame cutscene, giggling all the while. “Michael, no!” he wails, out of breath from the laughter. “Avenge me, Ray,” Michael says, and goes comically limp. “No! Jack, I’m going to get you!” Ray yells, and takes off running. - (But maybe, just maybe, it all starts when eight month old Gavin is in London on a rare day when it snows, and the whole city descends into chaos. Everyone knows that it’s coming, but somehow everything still grinds to a standstill. Gavin doesn’t remember this, of course. But he always hears his parents tell the story of how he’d been fussy all week leading up to the snow but totally enamoured by it when it finally fell, only to start whining again when it started turning into a brown slush only a few hours later.) - “Geoff stop. Please. Geoff!” Gavin shouts, “Geoff I have a plan. Geoff. Geoff!” Geoff does pause his playful pummelling of Gavin. “What is it?” Gavin points to the two snow - forts? - structures. “Let’s assault the castle.” “You’re calling that a castle? Man, British castle standards are low.” In that moment, they see Jack leave the more sloppy of the two and then the commotion as Ray starts firing snowballs at Jack, who promptly falls over in faux slow motion, hands clutching his chest where the snowball landed. Geoff grins and picks up a snowball, moving towards Ray, who’s walking towards Jack, evidently planning to gloat over his victory. Geoff lobbs it high - and misses. Everything pauses. And then Ray bends down to pick up snow, quickly followed by Geoff. A couple more failed exchanges, and Geoff finally lands a hit with a snowball that disintegrates into Ray’s hair. “At least I avenged Michael!” he yells as he throws both hands in the air, and kneels in the snow before face-planting in it. Geoff barely has time to grin before Ryan peeks out from behind the wall and smacks Geoff in the shoulder with a well-packed snowball. “No! Why, Ryan?!” Geoff falls on his side, still holding the shoulder where he got hit. - Gavin and Ryan lock eyes. Ryan grins maniacally, and Gavin - Gavin squeezes his eyes shut and hurls the snowball he’s been holding onto for the last few minutes. It hits Ryan in the leg. “Argh!” he shouts, and Gavin, taking the opportunity handed to him, starts throwing loose handfuls of snow at Ryan. Ryan takes it in stride and falls over. “You - win - Gavin,” he says as he falls, reaching out to Gavin as he throws himself into the snow. It’s quiet for a split second, and then Gavin cracks up. It breaks the spell and everyone joins in.