That’s it! All the gifts have now been posted and this event, at least for 2015, is over!
If you’ve missed your gift going out then in a minute or two the 2015 Masterlist link will become available on the sidebar and you can look for it on there. I’ve also updated the 2014 and 2013 masterlists so they look more... aesthetically pleasing.
I’d like to thank everybody who has participated this year, without you there really wouldn’t be an event! Thank you for sending in gifts (in some cases, multiple gifts) and I hope you’ve enjoyed the event and have loved your gifts in return.
I’d also like to thank my helpers, Tats, Nova, Path and Myo, for being amazing. Without them a lot of things would have taken far too long to do... and might not have been done at all. <3
Just to finish off, I’d like to ask everybody who participated if they could quickly take a look at a survey I’ve created. You can find the link here, and its purpose is to determine if there’s anything we need to work on next year to make this event even better! It’s not very long and should take you less than 5 minutes.
Summary: If there is one fact Ray knows about himself to be concrete, it’s that he has a immune system that is the absolute worst at its job. If there is one fact Ray never tells anyone, it’s that he has a immune system that is the absolute worst at its job.
Warnings: Swearing, mild descriptions of illness
WordCount: 3,035
If there is one fact Ray knows about himself to be concrete, it’s that he has a immune system that is the absolute worst at its job. If there is one fact Ray never tells anyone, it’s that he has a immune system that is the absolute worst at its job.
Well, anyone with the exception of Ryan Haywood. In fact, Ray tends to make a lot of exceptions for Ryan for reasons unbeknownst to him. Ever since Ryan became a permanent part of the regular AH cast, he had become this mysterious and somewhat unearthly presence to Ray. He barely knew anything about Ryan despite working with him everyday, the only person who seemed to not have a life outside of the office aside from himself. It was strange to know a person, yes, to be around them constantly and think you understand them when really you don’t know a single thing about them.
However, that’s not the point. The point is that Ray gets sick a lot, and on one particular occasion of ill health, Ray discovered a couple things about the elusive Ryan Haywood.
When Ray arrived at work on Monday morning, he felt completely fine. Well, fine for going to bed at 2am, but he’s adapted. It was rather slow, considering that Gavin and Ryan hadn’t turned up by 9:30 so their typical beginning-of-the-week meeting was pushed back until Geoff had confirmation of their whereabouts. He ended up chatting to Michael for a while and got heavily sidetracked, just like their conversations used to before they joined Rooster Teeth, that neither of them noticed Gavin bursting into the office with Ryan hot on his tail.
“Oh look, breakfast and a show.” Michael comments under his breath, nearly drowned out by the sound of Gavin’s squawks of dismay. Ray snorts.
“Michael! Ray! Ryan’s trying to kill me!” Gavin’s cries for help seem to do nothing as Ryan has seemingly lost interest, already at his desk and logging onto his computer.
“Sure doesn’t look like it. Now, if you two assholes are done, we have a meeting to-” In the middle of his sentence, Ray tries to stand up from his chair but gets hit by a sudden wave of very strong nausea. Next thing he knows, he’s kneeling on the floor while Michael and Ryan surround him and he tries with all his willpower to not hydro pump either one of their faces.
“Hey, Ray, buddy, you alright?” The initial nausea has begun to subside and leaving the beginnings of a very nasty migraine in its wake but Ryan is gently touching his forehead, supposedly to check for a temperature. In any other situation, Ray would have pushed him away and told him to cut it out, told him that everything was alright. In any other situation, the feeling of Ryan touching him wouldn’t have made him blush like it did. Instead, Ray just shook his head and tried to stand up on his own. He didn’t need Ryan to father him.
“I’m fine. Advil in the first pocket of my bag, can you grab it for me?” In what seemed like no time at all, Ryan had the pack of Advil and a fresh bottle of water in his hands. Maybe it was so quick because he blacked out, he can’t really tell. Ray accepts the gifts with a small nod and downs the medication without a second thought.
“You know, you can always go home if you’re not feeling well.” Ray ends up scowling at Ryan after his comment, refusing to admit defeat. Even though it would be better to rest, he doesn’t care. He can fight through the sickness.
“Haha, ahaha, hilarious. I don’t see you taking any sick days, Haywood.”
“Well, I don’t need to because I never get sick.”
Ray’s expression shifts from annoyed to surprised to confused and back to annoyed. “What do you mean you don’t get sick. Everyone gets sick, that’s like a basic fact of humanity. Our bodies are shit, we get sick, everything sucks and we’re all slowly succumbing to death.”
Ryan looks just as bewildered at his outburst as he feels about this little factoid of information. “I don’t know, I just don’t get ill all that much. Maybe a bit of a headcold once a year, that’s really all.” He offers his hand and Ray takes it, jumping back up cautiously. The migraine is still persisting in the back of his head but that isn’t really the biggest problem to him right now.
The biggest problem is that Ryan Haywood, pretty boy perfect human James Ryan Motherfucking Haywood, doesn’t get sick.
To Ray, that sounds like a challenge. To Ray, that sounds like a challenge to get Ryan to be ill enough to take a sick day by Friday. And believe him, he’s gonna do it. Whatever it takes to get that asshole sick.
Well, hopefully not dying in the process would be good too.
By Tuesday afternoon, Ray has a full-on cold and no idea how to get Ryan ill without being completely obvious. Even in the face of these obstacles, he is still at work and (figuratively) trucking along. Trucking along in the extremely stubborn sort of way. Trucking along in the ‘it’s quite clear any attempts to persuade you to go home will not work’ way. It’s kind of the way he does things. Michael’s been giving him weird looks the entire morning, usually consisting of the odd glance whenever he breaks out in a fit of coughing. Ray suspected that Michael had caught onto his plan quickly and was subtly trying to tell him to quit it. Sorry, buddy, that’s not an option, he thinks to himself and continues on with his work. Nobody else really mentions the growing pile of used tissues on his desk, but then again, everyone else is distracted with their own work.
At one point, he leaves the office to get some fresh air and ends up relegating himself to the steps outside the main door into Stage 5. It honestly doesn’t do much to improve his mood or state of mind, he wasn’t really expecting it to. He just needed to get out of the way of everyone else and regroup his thoughts. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen when he hears footsteps behind him and the door opening.
“Be honest, how obvious is it that I have ulterior motives for being at work?”
“Pretty obvious to me, dude.” Michael sits down next to him, but neither of them make eye contact. Ray had a feeling he was gonna get followed out here. “Why are you so determined to get Ryan sick anyways?”
“Because it’s not fucking fair! I mean, have you seen Ryan?! Why does it have to be that he doesn’t get sick and I end up with the plague every month. I’m looking for justice, Michael. Justice for the reason behind Ryan Haywood’s apparent perfection.”
Michael giggles a little. “You know that you sound like a middle school girl trying to thinly vein the fact she has a crush?”
“What? Dude, I don’t have a crush on Ryan.”
“Ray, if you go full tsundere on me, I’ll have to drag you back into the office and make you confess your undying love.”
“I don’t have a crush on him!” To be frank, Ray had never really thought about it. Sure, Ryan was kinda pretty. He used to be a model, for fucks sake, but Ryan? Ryan was too murder-y. He was too dark and broody, except for when he was going full dad mode on the lads. No, he didn’t like Ryan like that. Ryan was just… Ryan. That’s all he was ever going to be, ignoring all the R & R Connection shit. Just Ryan.
Yeah. Just Ryan.
“Aside from your crush business, do you even have any ideas on your plan for Ryan’s downfall?”
Ray opens his mouth, but promptly closes it upon the realisation that he didn’t have any ideas nor a smartass comment to throw back at Michael. “Uh, no. I have no fucking clue what to do. Please help.”
“Well, first step is you find a trash can, and then climb-”
“Haha, very funny, I’m glad my best friend is such a comedy genius.” Ray throws a light punch at Michael’s arm. Michael makes a face at him in retaliation.
“I have no idea either. You could always just like, pretend to accidentally cough on him? Like ask him over to help you with something and then when you have a coughing fit, just say you forgot to cough into your arm and instead you cough on him.”
“Oh. Hm, that’s, uh, that’s actually a pretty good idea.”
This time, Michael punches him in the arm, albeit quite heavier than when he did. “You’re a goof, y’know? A tsundere ass goof. Now get the fuck inside, you have work to do.”
“So do you.” Ray mumbles, hopping up onto his feet and wandering back towards the office behind Michael.
“Hey, uh, Ryan? Can you help me with something?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Well, um, I was trying to get this game to open, but it keeps freezing on the splash screen? Like I can’t tab out or move the mouse or anything and I just have to manually restart the computer to get out of it.” Ryan gets up from his desk and walks over, Ray pushing back slightly to let him perform his PC magic. As he played with settings trying to find a fix, Ray leaned over Ryan’s elbow and coughed as violently as he could muster.
Ryan pulls his hand up from the table and skids over a couple inches. “Ray, what the hell? You okay?”
Ray coughs into his hand one last time, trying to get it out of his system. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… Oh shit! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be that gross, I mean, I forgot about the whole coughing into my sleeve thing…”
“It’s alright, man. Happens to the best of us. Also, uh, your game’s booting up fine now.” Ryan’s voice seems slightly less sympathetic than usual and he’s hastily wiping the back of his hand on his jeans.
“Oh, right. Thanks.” Ray mumbled as he moved back into his usual position and Ryan walked away. He looks across to see Michael shaking his head at him and mouthing “You goddamn tsundere idiot”
“What the hell was I meant to do?!” He mouths back before turning towards his monitor. He didn’t even know what this game was, he just installed something randomly off his Steam account that he had no hours logged in. He was so pissed off now that he couldn’t even bring himself to play it.
“Also, Ray, you might want to run a Check Disk scan if that keeps happening.” Ryan calls out something from behind him but it falls on deaf ears. He’s not paying attention. He doesn’t care to.
Well, that went about as horribly as it could have.
Ray goes into work on Wednesday morning, filled with determination about his plan. Yesterday was a little bit of a failure, but hey, he still has three more days. No way in hell is he going to admit defeat. Needless to say, he ends up clocking off early and the story behind it is quite more complicated than he’d care to admit.
Michael drags him out of the office as soon as he walks in before they get settled into recording. Ray keeps kicking his feet into the ground to stop moving but his efforts are fruitless, with Michael taking both of them in the direction of the prop room. They stopped abruptly in front of an unmarked door and Michael swung his head around to check that they were alone. Confirming the coast was clear, he flicked Ray dead on in the forehead. “You’re the worst.”
“Hey, that’s uncalled for!”
“Yes, it is. ‘Cause you are the worst… holy shit, you look terrible.”
Ray blinked slowly at Michael a few times, not really paying attention to whatever he was saying. “Uh, yes?”
“You were up late trying to brainstorm ideas on how to get Ryan sick instead of focusing on your own illness and sleeping, weren’t you?”
“... Yeah. Yeah, I was.”
“It’s official, you’re the worst!”
“Hey!” Ray tries to reach out and punch Michael in the arm, but he ends up stumbling and grabs onto Michael’s leg instead to stop from falling over completely. Nausea had suddenly swept over him and there were stars dancing faintly in his vision. That’s not good. That’s not good at all.
Michael helped him to stand, keeping one hand on his shoulder in case he fell over again. “You good, Ray?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” He nodded half-heartedly, focusing more on keeping his balance. Okay, fainting. That was definitely not something he had factored into the equation. Okay, maybe he could work with this.
“Just make sure you’re drinking enough water, okay? We don’t want you passing out on us suddenly.” Michael seems genuinely concerned, but there is a hint of something else in his voice. A hint of something that seemed an awful lot like “faint in his arms and be all romantic you piece of shit” and quite a bit like passive-aggressive persuasion.
He tried it out during the filming of VS that afternoon but when he stood up off the floor too fast, he fell into the shelf of games rather than into Ryan’s arms. Even then, it was Jack who drove him home and told him to rest properly.
Ray tries to go to work on Thursday, but after crawling to the bathroom and throwing up literally 1 minute after he’s woken up, he decides against it.
It’s somehow Friday already and he’s running out of fucking options. He’s honestly worse off than he was on Monday and considering just straight up admitting defeat. Maybe it was true that he had a crush on Ryan and this was all just an act to prove that he wasn’t completely worthless. The more that he thinks about it, the more plausible it seems to be. It was just a dumb act to try and be noticed instead of just fucking admitting how he feels. This was a flawed idea in the first place, it was never going to work, it was stupid stupid stupid. As he stomps up the steps into Stage 5, he had a resolute plan in his mind to walk into the Achievement Hunter office and tell Ryan why he had been acting strangely all week. Just tell him. Just tell him.
When he walks into the office, Michael and Ryan are sitting on the couch talking quietly and the sight makes him freeze up in his spot. A million different scenarios and ideas run through his mind at once but he clenches the straps on his backpack a little tighter and mumbled a greeting.
“Oh, morning, Ray. Geoff, Gavin, and Jack are going to be late.” Ryan responds, giving him a small smile. Michael doesn’t say anything, simply glancing at him for a couple seconds before looking away. Ray nods once, looking down at the floor. Just tell him. Just tell him.
“Um, Ryan, can I talk to you about something?” Ray asks, gently scuffing his shoes against the ground. Without paying attention, he looks up to see Ryan now standing directly in front of him holy crap he’s tall. Just tell him. Just tell him.
“What’s up? Are you still ill?”
“Well, I… I, um…” Just tell him. Just tell him. Oh my god it’s not that hard just tell him Ray. The words were on his tongue, but he couldn’t speak and this was so cliche and dumb and pointless and he was never really aware how blue Ryan’s eyes looked in the light wait fuck.
“I’m not a fucking tsundere.” With that declaration, he stood up on his toes and kissed Ryan straight on the lips. His actions didn’t even sink in until a couple seconds later because initially it was lips and skin and beard scruff and he could gently feel Ryan pushing back until holy fuck, he’s kissing Ryan Haywood. He pulls away quickly afterwards, and he’s suddenly greeted to the sound of applause from behind him where it turns out Geoff and Gavin are standing.
“Before you ask, we saw the whole thing and I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing.” Geoff comments, pointing his index finger at Ray and waggling it slightly in a warning kind of way. For some reason, Ray can’t help but smile.
“It won’t. I think.” He responses quickly, trying to cover up his shaky voice and obvious embarrassment. He can practically feel how red his face is from blushing but he isn’t really fussed. There’s no way to cover up what just happened when they clearly saw it.
“Also, Ray,” Ryan leans down and says at a slightly hushed volume, “since bacteria generally spreads via skin contact, next time you might want to kiss me before I figure out what’s going on.”
“Fuck, are you serious?!” Ray yells, and Michael dissolves into a fit of laughs on the couch. He can’t even really be mad about his lack of subtlety because his lips are still tingling and he thinks that even if Ryan doesn’t get sick, he still won.
And while it initially seemed like a failure, Ray’s experiment brought up results in the end. He discovered that Ryan blushes profusely after he’s been kissed, and that the ends of Ryan’s hair curl up a little bit when someone messes with them, and that maybe he does have a little bit of a thing for Ryan but it’s okay because Ryan has maybe has a little bit of a thing for him back.
The best thing is the text he receives on Saturday morning, “I hope you’re proud of yourself” which is immediately followed up by “How do you deal with feeling like death all the time?”
He laughs and responses with, “By kissing cute guys.”
Summary: They just wanted to enjoy their weekly movie night.That was all they wanted.The ONE time Michael forgets to research the movie...
Word Count: 1,075
Warnings: Violence,mentions of rape and death,blood
_______________________________________
Ray plopped down onto the couch,huffing loudly into the cushion.Laughter drifted into the room and he reached behind him to flip off Michael,who he knew was right behind him.
"You're the one that wanted homemade cookies for Movie Night,Ray!"
Grumbling,Ray sat up and inspected his black Halo shirt-which was splattered with raw cookie dough.He groaned loudly and fell back into the couch silently cursing his boyfriend.
He heard Michael sigh and fabric rustling just before something soft was thrown at his head.Letting out a startled gasp,he grabbed at it and held it up.It was Michael's 'Rage Quit' shirt(which had somehow managed to avoid the cookie dough mess that was made in the kitchen,Ray noted grumpily).
He looked over at a smirking Michael,now only clad in red and black pajama pants."Hot."Grinning,he stood up and slowly took his shirt off,mock strip-teasing.Michael's loud laughter was muffled when Ray suddenly hurled his crumpled up shirt at his mouth.He punched the air."Bullseye!"
"Fuck yourself,Ray," Michael replied with a grin,tossing the shirt into a nearby rocking chair.Ray was about reply with a witty retort,but the sound of a bell ringing interrupted him.He scrunched his nose up and quickly pulled on Michael's shirt while the latter sprinted into the kitchen to retrieve the most-likely burnt cookies before the fire alarm went off...again.
In the meantime,Ray gathered up a few pillows and soft blankets and scattered them across the couch,creating a niche perfectly sized for him and his overgrown child of a boyfriend in the middle.He turned the lights off,the TV on,and booted up Netflix,looking for a good movie to watch.
"Boring...boring...bo-that literally looks like gay porn...it's a fucking chick flick?!Aaaalrighty then,moving on..."
Just then,Michael plopped down next to him,armed with a bowl of popcorn,a plate of cookies,and a bag full of redbulls.As he set them out on the table,Ray groaned loudly."Why doesn't Netflix have any good movies?Just one movie that's not a stupid over-done chick flick.Is that so much to ask?"
Taking the remote from Ray's hand and scrolling through the list,Michael frowned at the TV. "Apparently it is,Jesus fuck.Oh hey!This one looks interesting.'Death Wish?'Nice."
Ray leaned forward and inspected the movie cover."Well neither of us have seen it and it's probably not going to make us puke from the cheesiness,so let's watch it!"
Fucking finally,he thought.
Michael hit play and leaned back into the couch,stretching his limbs out and balancing the popcorn on his lap.Ray pulled his knees up to his chin and leaned his head on Michael's chest,sighing contentedly when the redhead's arm almost involuntarily wrapped itself around his shoulders.God,I love movie night,he thought with a smile.
_____________________
Everything was going fine.
Then Michael had to go to the bathroom.
"I gotta take a leak," he announced loudly,and stretched,preparing to get up.Ray reached for the remote but Michael put up a hand to stop him."Nah,don't pause it,I'll only be a minute."
"You sure?"
Michael smiled."Positive." He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to his boyfriend's forehead,who grinned at him goofily.
Michael shuffled over to the bathroom and flipped the light switch on,rubbing his eyes as they were exposed to the harsh light.He did his business,washed his hands,and left the bathroom.It was only 2 minutes,at the most.
He didn't expect the scene he
came back to.
Ray was sitting up straight,stock still.Michael wasn't even sure he was breathing."Ray?" he called.No answer.
Frowning,he walked up and waved his hand in front of Ray's face."RAY!"
No answer.
A loud scream caught Michael's attention and he turned to look at the TV.A wave of horror washed over him as he realized why Ray had gone so still.This was Maria's rape and death scene.
"Oh,fuck,"he muttered,lunging for the remote.He quickly hit the power button and turned the lights on.He rushed over to Ray and knelt in front of him,placing his hands gently on his shoulders."Ray?Ray!Look at me!"
Ray's lifeless,watery eyes tore themselves away from the dark screen of the TV and pierced Michael's.Teartracks stained his cheeks and he was staring in silent agony.
Michael could practically feel his heart breaking."Oh,Ray," he whispered.He climbed on the couch and pulled his boyfriend into a tight embrace,which was quickly returned.In the anguished silence,Michael's mind wandered and flashed to the past.
A scenario similar to Maria's had happened to Ray only 10 months prior.He had been walking home alone from work when he was ambushed and dragged into an alley.His phone was broken and his cries for help went unheard.Michael cringed as he remembered opening his door to a beaten,bloody,defeated Ray.
Since then,he had been attending therapy and taking medication for his depression.His recovery,though hard,had been going very well.Though he still had a long way to go,he had been doing great so far.
And then this happened.
Michael tightened his hold on his boyfriend as he silently cursed himself for not checking the movie for triggers.
Ray wasn't the type to cry.He hadn't cried during a single therapy session,not even once his therapist finally found a breakthrough.But now,Michael could feel the back of his shirt becoming drenched with his boyfriend's silent tears.He almost felt like crying himself,but he knew he needed to stay strong.For Ray.
After what felt like years,Ray slunk his arms out from around Michael's shoulders and gently placed his hands on Michael's naked torso."Michael," he said quietly,his voice raspy, "I'm tired."
Michael opened his mouth to say something,but quickly shut it,nodding instead.He knew Ray wouldn't say anything until he was ready to,and he wasn't about to force him to do anything.
Without letting go of Ray,Michael slowly turned his body and leaned down into the couch until he was laying down on his side with his back to the open air and Ray's back to the back of the couch.Grabbing blindly around them,he managed to place a pillow under their heads and pulled a fluffy blanket over their bodies.
Ray's left hand draped itself over Michael's waist,his right arm tucked beneath himself.He didn't bother to ask Michael to turn the lights off.
They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments,trying to decipher what the other was thinking.Eventually,Ray leaned in and connected their lips.It was perhaps their softest kiss ever,and Ray's lips tasted a bit salty from the tears,but Michael wanted it to never end.
When Ray broke away,he smiled up at his boyfriend."Thanks,Michael," he whispered,tucking his head under the redhead's chin.He let his eyes drift shut."I love you."
Michael pressed a kiss to the top of his boyfriend's head.
Summary: Three months. Ninty one days. There were two-thousand one-hundred and eighty-four hours between his flights, to be exact. Jon had counted. That was how long he was going to be away from Ryan. The biggest downfall to being the best reporter the Daily LS Times had ever seen was the fact that his boss liked to fly him out to other states for jobs, and this opportunity was one of the biggest he’d ever been given. Of course he was going to take it, even if it meant being away from his boyfriend for so long.
Warnings: NSFW (no other warnings apply)
Word Count: 4,248
Three months.
Ninty one days.
There were two-thousand one-hundred and eighty-four hours between his flights, to be exact. (Jon had counted.) That was how long he was going to be away from Ryan.
The biggest downfall to being the best reporter the Daily LS Times had ever seen was the fact that his boss liked to fly him out to other states for jobs, and this opportunity was one of the biggest he’d ever been given. Of course he was going to take it, even if it meant being away from his boyfriend for so long.
It wasn’t every day that he was handed the opportunity to be the host of a news-slash-quiz show, so despite the fact that he had been given six months before shooting began, he still found it difficult to say “see you later” to Ryan at the airport. Ryan had loaded Jon’s luggage into the trunk of his Adder and had taken him the long route – the one less guarded by police and speed cameras – and Jon felt somewhat nostalgic as Ryan went over the speed limit by tenfold.
Ryan had driven round the wide, open roads of Los Santos with Jon riding shotgun to their first date; they drove to the peak of a hill up in Blaine County as the sun gradually set, and had shared a picnic by moonlight. The view of Mount Chiliad from their position had been beautiful, and Jon couldn’t help but whip his camera out and snap some photos. Mostly of Ryan (and one of those pictures still resided on his desk at work today).
Jon had been somewhat tempted to change his phone lockscreen from the selfie the two of them had taken together from the rooftop of Jon’s apartment one evening, to the picture he kept on his desk, but he decided against it. He had digital copies of all of his photos anyway; if he ever felt homesick (and he knew he would) he’d flick through the seemingly endless photo albums on his laptop.
That had been one of the first things he had made sure to pack. Then his camera, then his other equipment, then his hard drives, then his toiletries and other essentials… But then he’d started to pack his clothes and Ryan had to intervene.
“Jon, you’re leaving for three months, not three years.” He had declared, a slightly awe-filled expression on his face as he stared in disbelief at Jon, who was sitting on his third suitcase in order to make everything fit. “Take some clothes out, dear. They’ll still be here when you get back.”
“Ugh,” Jon grumbled, sighing as he stood up and raked a hand through his disheveled hair for the thousandth time that day. “But what if I need it?”
“If you need it that badly then I’ll send it to you in the post.” Ryan replied, flipping open the suitcase and pulling out a winter coat – something he knew Jon wouldn’t need in his three months away.
“But-” Jon reached out for the coat but Ryan held it away and out of reach, smirking down at his boyfriend.
“No buts. Just let me help you, okay?”
“Fine,” Jon retorted, but his pout faded as Ryan kissed him chastely on the lips. After that, Jon was far more compliant as Ryan pulled various items of clothing out of his overstuffed suitcase and declared that Jon wouldn’t need it.
Packing, overall, had been a nightmare, but Ryan had certainly made it a lot less tedious.
It had all felt so surreal up until the morning Jon was due to leave. He only got out of bed when Ryan all but dragged him up, and he slumped into Ryan’s car with a heavy heart and a strange stirring in his stomach. Initially he had worried that he was coming down with something, but then he lost himself in laughter as Ryan sped through the streets of Los Santos, only quietening as they found themselves in a more urban area of the city, barely a few minutes from the airport.
After Ryan parked the car, Jon froze.
His head was spinning and he felt as if he was about to pass out; the car felt all too warm but a shiver shot down his spine.
But then Ryan’s hand was on his shoulder and he was bringing him in for a comforting embrace, the contact warm and reassuring. The worn, soft leather of Ryan’s jacket felt familiar on his face and he allowed Ryan to kiss his forehead before gently stroking his hair.
They remained in a companionable silence for a few relaxing minutes – the calm in the eye of the storm – before pulling back reluctantly.
“You’re gonna do great in Vice City,” Ryan confidently declared, a soft smile on his face. “I believe in you.”
Jon’s chest gave a pang of heartache and he surged forwards, clumsily leaning on the handbrake and pressing his lips firmly against Ryan’s, savouring the contact. Ryan’s arms were worm as they encircled his shoulders and brought him closer, his lips were just as soft and welcoming as they always were, and Ryan was just as eager as he was every single time they kissed.
There wasn’t a single kiss that Ryan didn’t put his all into; he would always ensure that when they parted, they would both always be panting for breath. Jon allowed Ryan to consume his senses, overwhelming him with his presence in the most addicting of ways. In all honesty, if Jon didn’t have a flight to catch then he would’ve let Ryan completely devour him in that car.
But as reality fell over Jon like a crashing wave, he reluctantly broke the kiss and gently rested his forehead against Ryan’s. They allowed themselves a few more moments to relish in the feeling of being together, simply basking in the way Jon’s hair brushed against Ryan’s face and the way Ryan was slowly rubbing circles over the back of Jon’s hand. But then the clock on the dashboard caught Jon’s eye and he sighed and leaned back.
The walk into the airport went too fast for Jon’s liking. Before he knew it, his suitcases were already checked in and he was stood with his tech bag slung over one shoulder and his backpack in his hand, nervously hovering near Departures next to Ryan.
“Don’t have too much fun without me, alright?” Jon said, his forced smile feeling less faux when the corners of Ryan’s lips quirked up in amusement.
“I won’t, don’t worry,” Ryan assured, “and I’ll make sure Geoff doesn’t plan any jobs that are too cool either. I wouldn’t want our photographer to miss out on any wonderful opportunities for pictures.”
“Good,” Jon replied, but his heart gave a lurch at the very mention of Ryan’s job. “Be careful, alright?”
Ryan smiled and gently cupped Jon’s cheek with one hand, the other brushing a few stray strands of his hair out of the way. It was cliché, but Jon wouldn’t have asked for anything else. “I’m always careful,” Ryan declared confidently, ducking his head down to press one soft, lingering kiss on Jon’s lips before pulling back once more. “Call me when you land, okay?”
“I will.” Jon said, sneaking one final kiss before preparing himself to turn around and walk away. It would hurt, but it was necessary. Ryan nodded once and every single fibre of Jon’s being screamed ‘stay, stay, stay,’ but he pushed those niggling thoughts aside and began to turn on his heel. “I love you, Ryan.”
“I love you too, Jon!” Ryan replied just before Jon began to walk towards Departures. “Have a wonderful time, dear!”
Jon’s knuckles were white as he squeezed tightly onto the strap of his bag, but he forcefully steeled himself and continued to walk further into the airport.
Jon’s knuckles were white as he squeezed tightly onto the strap of his bag, but he forcefully steeled himself and continued to walk further into the airport. It bustled with people but the only thing Jon could focus on was the fact that he was currently handing the security lady his passport and ticket to the opposite side of the country. He was going to be spending three whole months away from Ryan in a city he'd never been to before and Jon took a deep breath to calm himself.
He couldn't get wound up now; he'd at least wait until he was safely on the plane. At least then he would be comfortably sat in his seat and he could freak out all he wanted. So in the end, he did just that.
Luckily he had an aisle seat and the elderly couple who sat on the same row as him fell asleep almost instantly. According to the old lady, they had just caught this flight after their previous one from the south of Argentina so they were absolutely exhausted and needed the rest. For that, Jon was grateful because it meant he could order something strong and alcoholic from the menu and relax as the buzz set in.
He was a lightweight and barely ever drank (simply because Ryan never drank so he didn't particularly see any reason to go out of his way to buy alcohol unless it was for a party or special occasion) so after a chilling beer and a shot or two, he was happily able to fall asleep. There wasn't much turbulence and nobody bothered him, so sleep came easy and before he knew it, he was already disembarking the aircraft and hauling his too-heavy suitcases onto a trolley before hailing a cab and texting Ryan a quick 'just landed, gonna catch a cab and call you when I get to my hotel. xxx'
He had barely even stepped foot inside his hotel room before Jon was pulling out his phone - smiling fondly at the lockscreen - and clicking on Ryan's name.
"Hey, dear, how was the flight?" Ryan's familiar voice instantly calmed Jon's nerves and he flopped backwards onto his bed and focused on Ryan's voice.
"Eh, I slept through most of it." Jon replied. "Everything ran smoothly and we were only delayed by about half an hour."
"Only," Ryan echoed, the hint of a smirk to his voice.
"So, how was your day?" Jon asked, just knowing that listening to the antics of the Fake AH Crew would make him feel right at home. Ryan sighed in resignation and Jon smiled; he'd bet any amount of money that Geoff had them all do something pointless and stupid... Either that or Gavin accidentally shot someone (again).
"Well, it was mostly just a few bits and pieces of planning here and there, but then Geoff had us running shitty errands all day." The disgruntled huff that followed Ryan's grumbling made Jon really wish he could have been there, if only to grin at the pout his boyfriend would be wearing. He'd probably also try to kiss it off, but he didn't let himself think about that. He'd only get too homesick too quickly.
"Aww, what did he have you do?" Jon queried with a sympathetic tone, and when Ryan launched into a detailed description of the silly things Geoff had them do - from threatening a cashier to stealing a box of golfballs from the local course ("they're important, okay?" Geoff had reasoned), it was all ridiculous and completely expected of the mob boss. Everything Geoff did was elaborate, extravagant, and often seemingly useless.
As Ryan continued to ramble, Jon felt his eyes start to droop. He compromised by shuffling the pillows around on his semi-comfortable bed and closed his eyes, letting the soothing sound of Ryan's voice consume him. It was one of Jon's not-so-secret pleasures; he'd often pick a certain poem or short story out for Ryan to read at bedtime. Ryan would typically roll his eyes and claim that his voice wasn't that nice to listen to, but he would always comply. He'd do anything for Jon, and Jon would do anything for Ryan.
In a way, that was why they worked so well together. They'd go to the ends of the earth to keep the other safe. And as Ryan continued to talk about his day, about Geoff being an asshole, about Michael making him laugh, about Jack driving his car so fast around so many corners that Gavin threw up, about anything and everything that came to mind, Jon began to find that he had slowly started to drift off to sleep. Ryan clearly didn't seem to mind, since he continued to talk long after Jon stopped responding, only hanging up the phone when all he could hear was the soft sound of Jon quietly snoring.
When Jon woke up the next morning he did so with a groan of frustration when he realised that he had to be ready for the first day of work by 4pm and it was already 11am. He unpacked quickly, hastily shoving things in drawers and cursing himself for not bringing any spare coathangers.
And when he was finally ready for work, he had to dart back to his hotel room at least four times to grab things he had forgotten. Luckily he'd only been in the lobby, but the trek back to the lift and across the floor to his room was still one he'd rather not have to continuously make.
His first day of work went swimmingly albeit incredibly fast. It was over in the blink of an eye and Jon was already curling up in bed, ready for a good night's sleep.
He probably should have expected that it would continue to be like this: demanding and fast-paced. The next few weeks were, in Jon's own words, "hectic as fuck," he had told Ryan one evening over Skype (which had become their main point of contact). They managed to Skype almost every single evening and according to Ryan, Geoff had even made an effort to refrain from organising heists and jobs in the evenings. Although in his defence, nobody in their right minds would deny the Vagabond anything he wanted.
Hosting the show was incredible - an enthralling experience like no other - as he got to report factual information as well as keep the show light-hearted and comedic. He had never worked on a set as big as the show's own private studio, he'd never worked with a crew as big as this, and it was generally all incredibly worth the cons.
But of course it all had to go to shit at some point.
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After shutting the door behind himself with a satisfying click, Jon kicked off his shoes and wriggled out of his form-fitting jeans and button-down shirt, replacing them with a comfortable t-shirt and pyjama pants. He sighed, infinitely more comfortable as he made himself a cup of decaf coffee before setting it on the nightstand and flopping face-first onto the bed.
He instantly regretted the decision the second his face hit the uncomfortably hard mattress. However, after an adequate amount of squirming and plumping up pillows and arranging blankets, he was finally comfortable. He sat cross-legged in the centre of the bed, his back leaning against the headboard of the bed in his hotel room.
The recording hours had been painfully long and tedious today, so he was grateful for the soothing warmth the steaming mug of coffee supplied. Runners had made mistakes, the guests on the show had been disruptive, the director had been particularly irate, and overall it had managed to fit Jon’s #1 spot in his ‘List of Very Bad Days.’
Typically after a Very Bad Day, Jon would storm through the front door of his and Ryan’s apartment; Ryan would lick his wounds, soothe his whirring mind, and they’d fall into bed together, hence making Jon’s Very Bad Day a lot better than it had started off as. If Jon hadn’t been the opposite side of the country, he would have done exactly that.
So, he decided as he opened up his laptop, he’d have to make do with a Skype call.
As always, seeing the beautiful face of his loving boyfriend on the screen brought an instant smile to Jon’s face. He was sat in a similar position to Jon, but he recognised the headboard and surroundings as that of Ryan’s side of their bed.
“Evening, dear, are you okay?” Ryan asked, furrowing his brow as he took in the sight of Jon’s frown and nest of blankets and pillows.
“Everyone kept fuckin’ it up.” Jon stated simply. But then Ryan cocked his head in a fashion that Jon knew meant ‘tell me more, let me help,’ and Jon went off; he complained about the petulant guests, the idiotic runners, the indecisive managers, and everything in-between. Hell, he even spent a good five minutes ranting about some asshole who didn’t wash up their used coffee mug in the on-set kitchen.
The words flowed from his mouth like a river, and when he was finally finished, he sighed and relaxed back into the pillows behind him.
“Feeling better?”
“Eh, a bit.” Jon grumbled, albeit without the sharp tone of bitterness which had been present beforehand. “I’m tense as fuck.”
“I could help you unwind if you’d like,” Ryan suggested with a sneaky quirk of an eyebrow and a cheeky smirk.
Jon couldn’t help the disbelieving grin that worked its way onto his face. “Oh really? And how would you do that?”
“Well, it’d be a lot easier if I were with you right now…”
“Go on, Ryan, let me know what you want to do to me,” Jon said in a tone that he really hadn’t intended to sound as seductive or sexual as it had sounded; and if the way Ryan’s lips parted in a surprised grin was anything to go by, he hadn’t been expecting it either.
“Go on, Ryan, tell me what you want to do to me,” Jon said in a tone that he really hadn’t intended to sound as seductive or sexual as it had sounded; and if the way Ryan’s lips parted in a surprised grin was anything to go by, he hadn’t been expecting it either.
“Jesus, Jon.” Ryan breathlessly muttered, transfixed by the sight of his flustered boyfriend who sat on the bed eagerly awaiting Ryan’s words. “I just… I wanna see you enjoy yourself.” It may have sounded cheesy, but it was all Jon needed to hear before he was licking his lips and raking his gaze down Ryan's body on the screen; he was wearing a simple grey t-shirt and his nicer, darker (and much more form-fitting) jeans. “But hell, Jon, if I were with you then I’d push you up against that headboard and kiss you until we’re both breathless.”
Jon’s breath skipped a beat as he pictured exactly what Ryan was describing. Ryan’s kisses were always addictive and Jon could easily imagine himself surrendering all control over to Ryan, who would absolutely devour him. Just like usual.
“And when you’re too out of breath to kiss me back, I’d work my way down your neck, kissing and teasing and making you feel good. I know how much you love it when I bite your soft skin, ever so gently. Fuck, you make the prettiest of sounds.” As Ryan spoke, his voice took on a richer, more alluring tone that left Jon all but wishing he could be there to feel those lips trace those words along his skin.
“R-Ryan,” Jon stuttered out, cheeks flushing crimson as he stumbled over the words. Hell, Ryan hadn’t even laid a single finger on him and he was already hard in his jeans and falling over his words. “Can I touch myself?”
Ryan must have noticed his desperation because he was softly smiling and replying with a smooth, “of course, dear,” and Jon did exactly that. The first contact between the palm of his hand and his erection through his jeans felt like bliss; he sighed with the relief and continued to palm at his crotch in a slow yet addicting manner.
“Push your laptop back a bit,” Ryan requested, “I wanna watch you. All of you.”
Jon complied without a single hesitation, pushing the laptop back so his entire body was in full view of the camera. Ryan nodded in approval and shuffled around with his laptop, leaving Jon with a perfect view from between Ryan's thighs. He had splayed his legs out so he had one on either side of the laptop and Jon bit his lip when he caught sight of the bulge in the front of Ryan's jeans.
“Go on,” Ryan urged, his tone soft and gentle, contrasting completely with the fire in his eyes. “I want you to enjoy yourself.”
“O-okay.” Jon’s breath hitched and he deftly unzipped his jeans and pushed them down his thighs, just far enough so that he could palm himself through his boxers.
“Slowly.” Ryan warned, and Jon slowed his hand. He paused for a moment before resuming his actions, ensuring that he was slow and steady instead of quick and fast. As much as he craved the touch and the pace, he wasn’t about to disobey Ryan’s orders.
“Go on,” Ryan said, “touch yourself.”
Jon finally relented and let out a desperate keen, shoving his underwear down and allowing himself the pleasure. He shivered as he curled his toes and swiped his thumb over the head of his cock, hips involuntarily bucking into the contact. If he fluttered his eyes closed and tilted his head back he could almost pretend that it was Ryan’s hand. Almost.
“Hey, don’t get too ahead of yourself,” Ryan warned, something domineering hidden in the lust-fuelled voice. “Stop touching.”
“O-okay,” Jon gasped out. He allowed himself three more self-indulgent strokes before reluctantly dropping his hand away. When he glanced up, it was just in time to catch the devious smirk playing on Ryan’s lips. Damn did he want to kiss those lips.
“Alright. Now you can touch yourself, but slowly.” Ryan’s voice had a rich, alluring tone to it and Jon obeyed the order without a single hesitation. He wrapped a hand around himself, the other grabbing a fistful of the sheets, and did just as Ryan said; he stroked from base to tip in slow, lavishing movements that left him almost writhing for more.
“I’d make sure to tease you in those places I know you love being touched,” Ryan declared somewhat breathlessly. Only when he focussed his previously glazed-over eyes on the screen did he realise that Ryan had undone the fly of his jeans and was slowly palming himself through the thin fabric of his boxers. “I’d twist my wrist ever so slightly before teasing the tip because I know how quickly that makes you beg for more.”
Jon let out a gasp – partly because of the jolt of heated pleasure that shot through his body as he did just as Ryan said, but mostly because he was so surprised that Ryan was coming out with such filthy words. When in bed, Ryan’s words were typically those of endless praise and admiration; not addictive dirty talk. Jon wouldn’t deny that it was a good surprise, though.
It was effortlessly easy to settle into a steady rhythm, mimicking Ryan’s most typical tricks and methods of eliciting pleasure from Jon. With more even more encouragement from Ryan, Jon was already thrusting his hips forwards in tandem with his hand’s movement.
His eyes were locked onto the screen. Ryan was smirking at him; his eyes a piercing yet seductive icy blue as he took in the view before him all whilst touching himself just like Jon was. It didn’t take any effort at all to picture Ryan looming over him, hands pinning Jon’s wrists to the headboard as he fucked him harder than Jon had ever experienced.
“When you get back,” Ryan’s voice was low and deep, and his breathing was more like panting than anything else, “I’m going to make you feel so damn good.”
“Fuck, R-Ryan,” Jon’s breath hitched. His skin already felt like it was on fire, and his heart was pounding almost too loud for him to hear. “I need you.”
“I need you too.”
“I-I’m gonna. Fuck, Ryan, fuck-” Jon cried out breathlessly, his eyes only made for the Ryan on his computer screen as sparks shot through his body and he came, moaning out Ryan’s name almost incoherently as he rode out his orgasm. Ryan came barely moments after Jon’s first utterance of his name, and he hunched forwards once he had finished, panting and staring at the exhausted Jon.
They both took a few more moments to catch their breaths before either spoke.
“I’m absolutely going to devour you when you get back.” Ryan declared.
“I look forward to it.” Jon replied, and his devious smirk matched the one on his lover’s face.
The call barely lasted another fifteen minutes, the last of it being spent making quiet promises to call again soon, and “I love you”s were traded with honesty before they both ended the call and fell almost instantly asleep.
There were still several weeks left of Jon’s trip, but they were both simply glad that they had found a way to enjoy themselves despite the distance. And, most of all, they were both already looking forward to the day of Jon’s return.
Summary: AH OT6. Gavin is new to the streets, but luckily manages to find support in Michael and Ray, who are able to teach him the basics of surviving. Geoff and Jack work at an underfunded homeless shelter and have a habit of becoming too attached to their regulars. Ryan is the mysterious Vagabond, who hides behind rumours in an attempt to protect himself from the violent gangs that roam the streets.
Prompt: Person A shows up to the others house, looking like they just got into a bad fight. The others must take care of them and comfort them.
Warnings: Brief non-con reference (no actual non-con, either past or present in the fic), mentions of serial killers, mentions of rapists, abusive relationships implied, abusive upbringing implied, homelessness, injuries, violence
WordCount: 22, 725
Chapter 1
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Michael was anxious. Gavin had left after already having claimed his bed at the shelter, having mentioned that he wanted to get some fresh air and that he would be back in a bit. But the bed beside him was still empty at least five hours later. Ray wasn't sleeping, his own expression clouded over with barely concealed worry as he kept glancing towards the door every few seconds, as though hopeful that Gavin would walk in any second now.
"Fuck it..." He muttered to himself, getting to his feet and brushing a hand through his hair as he made his way towards the hallway. He hated waiting around for people, and it wasn't like he was going to be able to get to sleep when he was worried, which he was, so he might as well try and do something instead of sitting around uselessly.
"Guys?" He knocked on the door to the small office that he assumed the gents were hiding out at. It was relatively late and most of the jobs they were required for had been completed for the moment, not to mention most sensible people had gone to sleep at this time. He didn't, however, bother to wait for an answer before he made his way inside, his assumptions proved correct as Geoff and Jack glanced at him, smiling wearily but not unkindly.
"Hey Michael. Everything okay?" Jack asked, swivelling round on his chair to face the younger man. Michael grimaced.
"Gavin's still not back. I'm concerned." He said bluntly. Geoff looked up sharply, frowning.
"Where did he said he was going?" Jack asked, getting slowly to his feet. Michael shrugged.
"He just said that he was going to get some fresh air. He said he would be back shortly." He replied, clenching his hands tightly.
"We can call the police, but they probably won't take it seriously." Jack offered, rubbing the back of his neck in thought.
"I'll go look for him." Geoff decided, pulling the car keys out of his pocket. Michael nodded, having anticipated and wanted that course of action. Jack frowned, but did not make a move to prevent them as they both left the office together.
"Do you want to look with me or look separately?" Geoff asked, scratching his stubble as they rushed towards the shelter's exit.
"He can't have gone that far..." Michael reasoned. "We should stay together, otherwise we won't have any contact."
"Okay. Where do you want to start first?"
"If he's staying anywhere, than it will be with the Vagabond. I know roughly where they hang out together." Michael explained, slipping into the passenger seat of Geoff's car as the older man started the engine.
"Hopefully he's there." Geoff muttered, hands clenching the wheel tightly as he pulled away from the lot with perhaps a bit more speed than was strictly safe.
Michael scanned every road and alley as they drove off, occasionally giving directions to Geoff, but otherwise focused on the outside world in hopes of spotting Gavin somewhere. Fuck, he was worried. But, he was probably with Ryan. He’d probably just forgotten to mention that he was going to stay with the Vagabond, and they’d find him in a few minutes and then Michael could beat the shit out of him for making him concerned and everything would be alright.
Geoff pulled up sharply, and Michael jumped out of the car before it had even properly come to a stop. They were parked illegally but Geoff didn’t seem to mind as he followed after Michael, who was scanning the alleyway in search of anyone. He knew this was roughly where Ryan and Gavin met, but he wasn’t exactly sure where the Vagabond would be.
As it was, the Vagabond found them first.
“Who are you?” A gruff voice rung out, and he vaguely made out a shadowed figured, face covered in a skull mask, and looking every bit as threatening as the rumours said he was. Next to him Geoff narrowed his eyes, tension radiating from his body.
“Is Gavin with you?” Geoff asked bluntly. Even without being able to see his face the Vagabond’s surprise was evident.
“Who are you?” He repeated, hesitantly this time and taking a few steps towards them.
“We’re friends. Is he with you?” Michael said. There was a brief silence.
“No. He isn’t.” Michael felt his heart sink at the words. Beside him Geoff immediately turned away, no longer interested in the other man.
“You sure?” Michael said, clear accusation in his voice. The Vagabond stared at him. “Because if you’ve done something to hurt him you’re basically a dead man.” He growled, his eyes glowing furiously. Geoff placed a comforting hand on his arm, trying to calm him even as he turned back towards the Vagabond.
“I wouldn’t hurt him.” The Vagabond repeated, slowly removing his mask. Michael committed his face to memory, glaring into his eyes suspiciously. “What’s going on?”
Michael didn’t want to answer him, despite the vulnerability in the other man’s voice that tugged at his own sense of empathy. Geoff swallowed next to him, clearly indecisive.
“He’s gone missing.” Geoff replied. The other man’s expression was unreadable and Michael felt a flare of indignant anger at it. “Michael he doesn’t know shit. Let’s stop wasting time and keep looking.” He said, turning towards Michael pointedly. He frowned, still glaring at the Vagabond even as he nodded and turned away.
“Wait!” The Vagabond called out as they turned away. Michael glared back at him for wasting their time. “If there’s any news can you please update me?” The man shifted his feet, scuffing his already matted shoes along the gravel. Michael narrowed his eyes but nodded silently, before turning away and heading back towards the car with Geoff.
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Ryan was freaking out. He hadn't exactly thought he’d be able to sleep tonight; his mind was already hyperaware due to his persistent insomnia, but now that he knew Gavin might be in trouble, he knew the additional worry would keep him awake. He paced aimlessly up and down the alley, occasionally pausing and leaning back against the dumpster as he tried to steady his thoughts and contemplate a course of action.
He tapped a meaningless rhythm across his thigh, nibbling on his lower lip as he racked his mind for a solution. After a moment he sighed, and reequipped his mask before collecting his belongings and swinging his rucksack over his back. He'd walked with Gavin enough times to have a vague idea of the places the younger man knew and where he might have ended up.
He headed off, rubbing his hands together in front of him and idly wishing that he had enough spare change to buy some gloves. His last pair had been destroyed last winter, but there wasn't much he could do about it when he was already been rinsed dry by the local gangs.
He frowned then, turning back on himself and slipping through another backstreet. If Gavin had got himself in trouble, it would most likely be with one of the gangs, so it would make sense to start looking within gang territory. He checked his knife, fiddling with his holster to ensure it was not too tightly secured that he would have a struggle to wield it.
He searched each street carefully, occasionally going back through them multiple times to ensure there was no trace of the other man. He was briefly reminded of what his father had told him, long ago when Ryan was still a boy and they would go hunting together. To look for disturbances, things out of place, scuff marks and breakages, anything that would suggest someone had been there. But it was easier said than done to apply it to an urban setting.
He called out occasionally, but he didn’t have much hope for receiving an answer. It was cold out tonight, a sharp bite in the air that warned of mist that would be rolling in by morning and threatened of the possibility of rain. He didn't like to think of Gavin alone in this weather.
But the city was big and so were the gangs that occupied it. He was coming up empty everywhere he turned and the frustration was bubbling up into a dangerous anger, and he gritted his teeth together, silently fuming as he continued to search.
It didn't take him long to stumble upon a couple of gang members, neither of which he particularly recognised apart from the emblem etched into their jackets. He straightened out, eyes blazing as he wielded his knife and approached them, not bothering to think about whether this was a good idea or not.
One of them, a broad-shouldered man, who was on the shorter side but made up with it for sheer bulk of muscles turned to face him in time to curse before Ryan grabbed him in a headlock with the knife pressed up against his throat. The other man, nothing more than a skittish teenager took a startled step back, wide-eyes fixed on the mask that flickered fiercely in the faint light from a distant window.
"Have you hurt anyone today?" He growled, eyes fixed on the younger of the two, warning him without words not to make a move.
"We hurt lots of people." The man grumbled, a strange wetness to his voice as the saliva collected in his mouth and dribbled across his crooked teeth and down his chapped lips. Ryan pressed the knife hard enough to draw blood.
"I'm looking for someone in particular." He hissed. "British, dark blonde hair, big nose; know where he is?"
"Oh, you mean your little pet?" The man sneered. Ryan growled, slicing his knife across the man's cheek, satisfied at the spray of blood that coated the ground and silenced the man.
"Where is he?" He said, eyes narrowed. He could hear the man breathing heavily. "Tell me or I'll kill you goddamnit." He threatened, tightening his grip around the man's throat.
"Look, I didn't touch him!" The man claimed. "I may have heard that a few of our guys roughed him up a bit but nothing to do with me."
"Where?"
"I ain't sure exactly, but maybe around Sixth street, one of those alleys." The man explained, lifting up his hands in surrender.
"If you're lying to me..."
"I ain't, you got my word on that Vagabond. Just don't be telling no one who told you." The man grumbled. Ryan stared him down for a moment, memorising his face just in case it came to it, before he released him, throwing him forward whilst still wielding his knife.
"You better hope that's true." He warned, glowering at the two men who watched him with heated, yet morbidly curious stares, before he swiftly pushed past them, making his way out of the alley and into a main street where he doubted they would follow.
His heart was pounding. He broke into a jog now that he knew that Gavin was definitely in danger. He hoped to god that the location was correct. He needed to find the younger man now. And he might just hunt down those men who had hurt him.
"Gavin!" He called out, panting heavily as he slowed into a walk, eyes scanning along the street. "Gavin!" He yelled again, ducking into one of the nearest backstreets. There were lots of several winding passages along these parts, which was part of what could make them dangerous to walk along. Lots of place where the chances of witnesses was very slim.
He heard a faint noise, he was sure he did, but the wind carried it as though it was coming from all directions. He growled, stalking forwards with the intent to search everywhere if he needed to. The first few alleys were frighteningly desolate, and he could feel anxiety flooding him, because what if Gavin wasn't here? What if the man was bleeding out across the city because some shithead had lied to him? And then he saw a faint shape in the distance, barely discernible in the darkness but definitely human. He inhaled sharply, before rushing forward.
"Gavin..." He called quietly, kneeling down to the ground next to the shadowed lump and carefully removing his mask. The person moved beneath him, and he brushed the blood-matted hair away from the bruised face, meeting green eyes that were significantly dulled but still flashed with recognition. "Fuck, Gavin." He whispered, swallowing heavily as he reached out tentatively and removed the makeshift gag from the other's mouth.
"Hey Rye-bread..." Gavin said shakily, rotating his jaw from side to side, a flash of pain marring his eyes as he did so. Ryan could hear him breathing now, and there was a worrisome wheezing sound accompanying him. "Can you..." The younger man trailed off, instead shifting onto his front to reveal his wrists tied securely behind his back.
Ryan got the message, and pulled out his knife whilst he carefully cut away at the rope, his face hardening at the distinct wetness that coated Gavin's wrist. He couldn't see properly in the dark, but he imagined that Gavin's wrists were torn to shreds from the bindings, judging by how tightly and haphazardly it had been wrapped. Gavin sighed happily, his wrists dropping down limply as the rope came free.
"Can you walk?" He asked. Gavin didn't respond for a moment, before he wearily shook his head, the action seeming to hurt him more. "Okay, don't worry. I'm going to take you back to the shelter where your buddies are, okay?" He explained, stroking his hand through Gavin's knotted hair. The younger man nodded, eyelids fluttering as Ryan carefully reached out and lifted the Brit up in a bridesmaid's carry. Gavin hissed as he was rocked, and Ryan could feel the way his body was trembling pitifully.
Ryan didn't know enough about first aid to be sure about whether he should let Gavin sleep or not, but watching the younger man's eyes flutter and his head start to lull as sleep tried to claim him sent a fresh spark of panic through him, and he shook the man awake again, mindful of the other's injuries. Gavin groaned but kept his eyes opened, even if they seemed to look around blindly.
Time had never seemed to pass so slowly, yet in such a blurred rush, as it did right then. His own muscles were starting to feel the strain of keeping Gavin lifted, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, continuing to walk at a slower pace than he would have liked in an attempt to make it more comfortable for Gavin who had fallen silent but still grunted every now and again. And yet, he could barely remember anything, knowing faintly that he had been whispering meaningless comforts to Gavin, but he was not able to remember what it was he said. He seemed to arrive at the shelter having skipped several minutes of his life, despite the tediousness of the long walk there.
And then everything happened suddenly. He walked through the front door, eyes darting around for the two people who he had met earlier, but before he could find them another man with an impressive beard greeted him at the door, before seeing Gavin and gasping and immediately stuffing his hand through his pocket and calling for an ambulance, whilst a smaller man seemed to materialize at his side, eyes-wide and frantic as he called out to Gavin. And then Gavin was being taken away from him as the medics arrived and he was guided into the back of the ambulance alongside the two other man, and there was meaningless yelling as medics rushed about the back of the ambulance and he was pestered with questions and he didn't know whether he answered them or not, but eventually he was left alone to his own thoughts, as the sirens of the ambulance whirred into the night.
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Geoff was speeding and he didn't give a fuck. Michael sat next to him, expression hardened but unable to hide the sheer worry and panic in his eyes. The silence was drowned out by only the roar of the engine and the sound of his own heavy breathing. His hands were white where he was gripping the steering wheel too tightly, but he didn't care. He just needed to get to the hospital now.
Jack's phone call had shaken his entire world, and he couldn't begin to justify the sickening nausea he felt at Gavin's pain. Jack's voice had been so distant, and he could hear the little tremors and shaky breath as he spoke that betrayed his own panic. And there been some mention about how only Burnie was now left at the shelter and they were going to get in shit, but Geoff didn't care about that either.
Right now, he didn't care about anything other than Gavin and getting to him as soon as was humanly possible.
He barely even registered the hospital building growing up into the cityscape in front of him, and it was only instinct that made him slow down and pull into the overpriced parking lot, and he didn't care about how much it was going to cost to stay here. He got out of the car, breathing like he had run here and realising blankly that he had forgotten to wear his seatbelt.
Michael shuffled next to him, worrying his lip between his teeth as he stared up at the hospital with something almost akin to fear. Geoff pressed his hand against Michael's back and gently led him towards the hospital before making their way to the reception. And then there had been shouting, mostly on his part, because they had no information, and they wouldn't let him see him, and now they were asking him about Gavin's insurance, and he just didn't fucking care he wanted to see Gavin. He wanted to make sure the kid was alright.
His tirade only stopped when he felt a familiar arm wrap around his shoulder and Jack whisper something calming into his ear. He huffed, glowering at the reception lady, but still let himself lean into Jack's side and be led back towards the waiting area. Michael followed stiffly behind him.
"What the hell is going on?" Michael snapped, before Geoff had the chance. Ray brushed a gentle hand up and down his arm, where he was sat quietly as though in shock. Jack sighed, brushing a hand through his hair but it wasn't him that replied.
"He was attacked by a gang." It was the Vagabond that answered. He wasn't wearing his mask, and he looked younger somehow, with his rucksack sat on his lap and his arms hugged around it.
"I thought you said you didn't know where he was!" Michael yelled, turning a few heads. Jack raised a hand in warning, gesturing for Michael to sit down next to Ray.
"I went looking after you came to me." The Vagabond replied slowly. Geoff watched him carefully, still feeling distrustful of the other man and it evidently showed on his face because Jack picked up on it.
"Geoff, he helped. He brought Gavin to us, he's not the bad guy here." Jack said calmly. The Vagabond ducked his head, turning away morosely. Geoff stared at him for a moment, before reluctantly sitting down in the space next to Jack.
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It was a few more hours before they got any news. Within that time Jack had managed to arrange with Meg to cover for them at the shelter, to which Geoff had only responded with a grunt when told. His eyes had been only on the clock that ticked steadily on, the sound hidden beneath the general chatter and the occasional chaos as people were rushed in and out of the ER.
Ray was dozing restlessly, leaning his head against Michael's lap as he spread out across the bench, receiving a few hard stares from others, despite the fact there were several seats available. Michael hadn't said much, just gritted his teeth and stared resolutely ahead, eyes dulled as his focus turned inward. It was only Jack who tried to make conversation. Mainly by talking at, if not too, the Vagabond who sat awkwardly opposite them, fiddling with the straps on his rucksack and failing to look up.
It was then that a nurse arrived, glancing listlessly around the waiting room until his eyes found them. He smiled, a little tight around the lips, and it didn't quite reach his eyes, but at least he wasn't frowning. Geoff got to his feet as their eyes met and closed the distance between them.
"You're with Gavin Free?" The nurse checked. Geoff narrowed his eyes impatiently, but nodded, eager to get to the point. "His condition is stable. He's got a couple of broken ribs, and a broken ankle, and his shoulder was quite badly dislocated. Other than that, he has a lot of bruising but thankfully no internal damage. He's still a bit drowsy, mainly from the pain killers and the concussion he had, but we're hoping to discharge him by morning."
"You want to discharge him already?" Jack asked, eyebrows raised. The nurse nodded warily. "Surely he should stay in for a few more days at least, I mean, if he has broken bones than I'm assuming you operated on him, correct? Then wouldn't you want to keep an eye out for possible complications? Besides, you do realise he's homeless, right? You can't expect him to go back to the street with those injuries."
"I'm afraid we can't really keep him any longer. We realise that his financial position is far from great, and as such his treatment is being paid for by Medicaid. But we're only required to stabilize emergency conditions, once that is done we have to discharge him." The nurse explained, shrugging in a vaguely apologetic way.
"That's bullshit." Michael muttered, just barely loud enough for the nurse to hear, to which he frowned, a flash of irritation in his eyes.
"I assume you want to visit him. We can't let all five of you in at once. The max is two at a time." The nurse explained, brushing a hand through his hair. "I'll show you where he is. The rest of you can just wait outside." The nurse explained, not waiting for a confirmation before starting to walk away.
Geoff followed him, glancing behind briefly to make sure that everyone else was coming. Jack had come up by his side, but was looking thoroughly disgruntled. Behind him Michael had shaken Ray awake, and now the younger man was following wearily, his eyes looking a little bloodshot. It was the Vagabond who trailed behind, looking thoroughly out of place in their little group.
"Here it is. Remember, two people max, okay?" The nurse gestured towards the door, before hurrying back down the corridor he had led them up. Geoff watched him go, unable to help the bitterness that bled into his expression.
"You two go ahead. We'll wait a bit." Michael decided, waving Geoff and Jack in. Geoff glanced at them thankfully, before carefully pushing the door open, the waft of bleached walls and burnt food, alongside the faint beep and whirl of hospital equipment that drifted through the room met him.
Gavin was sat upwards, scratching idly at the sling on his right arm as they walked in. He looked up, eyes widening as he recognised them and a smile exploding on his face as he leaned further up. Geoff smiled back, grabbing one of the nearby seats and scrapping it along the floor until he pulled it up to the side of Gavin's bed.
"Hey buddy, how you doing?" He greeted, his eyes trailing down Gavin's body, but most of his injuries were hidden by the cover. His face looked a mess, bruised and swelling, darkly discoloured and hideously painful to look at. Geoff winced at the sight.
"I'm okay. I mean, the painkillers they have me on are pretty great." He replied with a shrug, leaning back against the bed that was inclined upwards.
"Have the police talked to you?" Jack asked, leaning back into his own chair that he had grabbed. Gavin shook his head.
"I don't think they're involved. Doesn't really matter though, I mean, they're not exactly going to be able to do anything." Gavin shrugged, scratching at the sling on his arm again. Geoff gently knocked his hand away.
"Stop that." He said, rolling his eyes at Gavin's intense pout.
"It's itchy!"
"Scratching will only make it worse." Jack pointed out, smiling slightly. Gavin huffed. "The others are waiting outside by the way." Jack added after a moment, to which Gavin's previous excitement returned.
"Is Ryan with them?" He asked tentatively. Jack nodded, smiling as Gavin beamed, straining his head towards the door as though he could see the others through it.
"They're only letting two of us at a time." Jack pointed out.
"Ah, weak!" Gavin exclaimed, a slight whine to his voice. Geoff snorted. There was a brief moment of silence then, not uncomfortable, but Gavin looked down, his brows pinching together and clearly thinking about something. Geoff waited patiently.
"Do you know, um, well with payment? They mentioned something, but I was a bit out of it, and I can't remember what they said...I don't really understand, you know, the American system..." Gavin mumbled, picking at the rough fabric of the thin sheet that was wrapped around his body. Geoff could see now the tension radiating through the younger man's body, and the worry in his eyes was evident.
"You're fine. They have you on Medicaid, so you don't have to pay or worry about it." Geoff pointed out, wanting to reach out and touch Gavin, to offer some physical comfort, but wary of aggravating his injuries.
"Oh, okay."
"Do you know they're discharging you in the morning?" Jack asked carefully. Gavin looked up, shaking his head, gnawing on his bottom lip despite the fact that it had clearly already been cut open.
"It's fine. There's no way you're going back on the streets with those injuries. You're staying with us." Geoff decided them, quite suddenly, despite the fact he had already been contemplating it whilst in the waiting room. Jack looked up at him sharply, but didn't say anything. "The others too, if they agree. Fucking too dangerous on those streets. Anyone of you could be attacked." Geoff continued regardless, ignoring Jack's look. He knew it was a dick move to offer without asking Jack, who did after all own half the apartment, but fuck, he knew Jack was worried too.
"I...you don't have to do that..." Gavin said, trailing off and looking honestly dumbstruck.
"No. It makes sense. You can't exactly heal if you're living on the streets." Jack agreed, still glaring at Geoff but stroking comfortingly along Gavin's arm.
"Thank you..." Gavin said quietly, a faint blush hidden behind the bruises on his cheeks. "When you say the others...do you mean Ryan as well?" Gavin asked, peeking up warily.
"I..." Geoff started, breaking off as he looked up at Jack, who sat back in his chair, crossing his arms as he shrugged, his lips pressed into a tight line.
"I know you don't know him well, and you don't have to, but well...if you're talking about danger, I mean, he's probably in the most danger from the gangs, especially if he helped me out..."
"I mean, we'll ask, but I don't know if he'll say yes." Geoff said. "I just, are you sure he's safe?" He added, rubbing the back of his neck. Gavin nodding eagerly.
"Yeah, I know he has this scary persona, but he's really kind and I mean, he's helped me out twice now, so yeah, he's safe."
"Okay. I'll ask. I imagine convincing Michael and Ray will be hard, let along the Vagabond." He pointed out. Gavin frowned.
"I can convince them." He offered, a spark of determination in his eyes, before it was swiftly cut off by a yawn that seemed to resonate through the Brit's entire body. Geoff got to his feet, resting his hand on Gavin's back as he smiled fondly at the younger man.
"We'll let the others talk to you before you pass out." He suggested. Gavin smiled up at him, rubbing at his eyes with his left hand, looking more like a child than anything else. He hovered by the door as Jack patted the Brit’s good arm, murmuring a quiet farewell before following after Geoff.
Michael and Ray were already up and pacing outside the door, with the vagabond sitting to the side and watching them both with a purposely blank expression. They paused as Jack closed the door gently behind them with a small click.
“You can go visit him now. He’s looking quite tired but he seems okay.” Jack stated, smiling softly at Michael who moved towards the door immediately, Ray tagging behind a little slower.
“Wait two secs…” Geoff interrupted, placing a hand on Michael’s shoulder and steering him back a little. The younger man looked up at him questioningly. “I just offered Gavin to stay at ours for a while, whilst he’s healing. You two are also welcome to stay.”
“Uh, Geoff…” Michael said, moving back a bit and rubbing his neck. Ray blinked slowly, moving in beside Michael. “I don’t know…” He trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip.
“Look, it’s clearly not safe at the moment. If Gavin got attacked, you guys could also get attacked. I don’t want you guys being in danger.” He pointed out sternly.
“I mean, you don’t have to do that…” Michael murmured quietly.
“Yeah, it seems like we’d be a bit intrusive.” Ray added, the corners of his lips twitching into a frown.
“Guys, Geoff has a point.” Jack piped out, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed and a thoughtful expression on his face. “At least stay for a few days, for Gavin’s sake if nothing else.” Michael and Ray glanced at each other, communicating a million different thoughts with nothing but a look.
“We’ll think about it.” Michael decided with a curt nod.
“Do. I’m pretty sure Gavin is going to try and convince you as well.” Geoff pointed out. Michael smiled at that, shaking his head with a huff as he made his way into Gavin’s room, Ray on his heels.
“That offer goes for you too Vagabond.” Geoff added, glancing at the other man who startled, looking up sharply with a furrowed brow at being addressed. Jack muttered something about grabbing a drink as Geoff took the one vacant seat next to the Vagabond.
“You barely know me.” He replied, staring at Geoff with open confusion. He even thought he saw a flash of suspicion in the other’s eyes. “And my name’s Ryan.” He added, a touch bitterly as he looked back down at where his hands were resting in his lap. Geoff quirked an eyebrow.
“Yeah I know.” He dragged a hand through his hair, leaning back further in the seat and stretching his legs out. “You seem like the type that prefers the title to the name though.” He mused. Ryan stared at him, something heated in his gaze and Geoff was reminded of why he didn’t trust this guy.
“Besides, Gavin wants you to stay. He’s worried about you or something.” Geoff said with a shrug when the other man failed to respond. He was pretty sure that Ryan almost smiled then.
“He should be more worried about himself. “ Ryan grunted. Geoff huffed.
“I know what you mean, but when you say it, it manages to sound like a threat dude.” Ryan frowned at him, scrunching his brows together.
“It wasn’t…”
“I know, I was just joking.” Geoff rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You don’t get out a lot do you?” He muttered, rolling his eyes.
“I’m homeless. If anything I get out too much.” Ryan replied. Geoff stared at him, noticing the faint trace of humour in his expression.
“You know what I mean you dick.” He huffed, elbowing the other man. “Anyway, think about the offer will you.” Geoff said, cracking his neck as he changed the subject. Ryan pressed his lips together in thought.
“Maybe for a day or two I guess. Just to see how Gavin is doing.” Ryan said after a moment, eyes darting down the corridor where Jack had reappeared with a drink in his hand. Geoff hummed in acknowledge, straightening up as Jack came up to hover beside them.
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Ray was honestly so tired; he had spent the last few hours whilst they were waiting for Gavin to be discharged just staring at a single crack on the white hospital wall. Honestly, it felt like his eyelids were sandpaper as he tried to blink away the tiredness as he propped himself up on the passenger door of Geoff's car as they drove back to his place.
Jack and Ryan had taken a taxi as there wasn't enough space in the car, and Michael had gone with them, muttering something about not trusting Ryan alone with Jack, which was pretty ridiculous but he was too tired to really get on Michael's case about it.
Geoff drummed the steering wheel as they waited at the red light, staring fondly at Gavin, who was dozing fitfully, with his mouth open and a sliver of drool coming out. Ray didn't envy the Brit at the moment, even if the painkillers were basically knocking him out, he could see the furrowed brows and sheen of sweat even in sleep. He doubted the hospital had even bothered to give him their stronger painkillers.
They moved off again, rolling smoothly down the deserted roads. It was about 10 AM when they had been discharged, but the sun still failed to do anything but wash out the world in a faint sheen of orange.
He groaned quietly, rubbing lazily at his eyes as he leaned his head against the window, trying to ignore the shudders that ricocheted through his skull. He let his eyes flicker close, wishing he had any change of falling asleep in this car but it had been a while since he had ridden in a car, and it was making his stomach roll with the beginning signs of nausea that tethered him to the waking world
Gavin stirred with a low moan as the car came rolling to a stop outside a small house, partially hidden by the creeping Ivy and high bushes that climbed around its wall like a leafy barrier. Geoff pulled the handbrake on, stretching out before turning towards Gavin, shaking him gently to get him to awaken.
"Hey buddy, we're here." Geoff said quietly with a gentle smile. Gavin blinked, rubbing his good arm across his eyes.
Ray opened the car door, grabbing the crutches that were spread out across the seat next to him and helping to open Gavin's car door. The Brit looked up at him, his eyes dulled with a mixture of painkillers and tiredness, but he still managed a small smile. Geoff came to stand next to him, gesturing him to take a step back, as he lifted Gavin up and out of the car. Ray passed the crutch, which Geoff fixed under Gavin's good arm, carefully steadying the younger man as he stumbled forward slightly before managing to right himself, leaning heavily on the crutch.
"Go open the door." Geoff said, passing him the keys. Ray nodded, glancing back at the two of them as he rushed forward and quickly unlocked the door. He peered in curiously. He had never seen where Jack and Geoff lived before. It was smaller than he had anticipated, but he supposed it was cosy; from here he could see the stairs that climbed up to the second floor, and a couple of doors, as well as a living room with an old stained couch that was connected to a small kitchen.
Geoff tumbled in after a moment, with Gavin leaning heavily against his side, clearly not used to having to use a crutch. Geoff met his gaze and nodded him towards one of the nearby doors, tucked in front of the stairs and to the side of the front door. Ray moved towards it, propping the door open. Inside was a small bedroom, with nothing much but a small bed, and a wardrobe. The floor was littered with various articles of clothing, and the remnants of food wrappers, and a few cans here and there.
"This your room then?" He guessed, staring pointedly at the messed. Geoff huffed, helping to lower Gavin onto the bed.
"Shut up, I wasn't exactly expecting guests tonight." Geoff grumbled, pulling back the duvet cover and wrapping Gavin in, even as the Brit struggled up into a sitting position with his back resting against the headboard.
"Oi, idiot lie down and get some rest." Geoff said, flicking Gavin on the nose, gently guiding him into a lying position. Gavin pouted, squeaking out a complaint, even as his head lolled tiredly to the side.
"Bully." Gavin mumbled, even as he wrapped his arms around the duvet and pulled it close with a satisfied sigh, letting his eyes flutter close.
"Here, I'll show you the spare room quickly. You look knackered too." Geoff said after a moment of simply watching Gavin surrender to the pull of sleep. Ray yawned then, unable to help it, but Geoff just smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder and leading him out of the room and upstairs.
"You fine if you top and tail with Michael?" Geoff asked, approaching a door that was already cracked open. It wasn't much of a room, it just barely had the space for a single mattress that was actually too long for the room, and thus kept the door propped open with the corner of its back legs. The opposite wall was lined with a desk where an old computer hummed quietly. It was a squeeze for Ray alone to walk into the room, but he didn't exactly care much as he immediately clambered into the bed.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." He murmured quietly, curling up into the mattress. He heard Geoff retreat, but was surprised when the older man came back, a thin cover draped over his arm, and a couple of pillows clasped in his hands that he then threw down at Ray.
"Thanks." He said, letting Geoff wrap the sheet over him as he closed his eyes. Downstairs he heard the front door open, and could hear familiar voices echoing up the stairs. Geoff said something, before heading back down, but Ray was already surrendering to sleep. He barely stirred even when a few minutes later Michael crawled into the bed beside him.
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He woke hours later. He groaned, turning on his side and feeling a pang of disappointment that he failed to dwell on when he saw that Michael was no longer by his side. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, stretching his back as he padded out of the bed. He went downstairs, figuring that at the very least he could see how Gavin was doing.
It was dark out now. He must have slept for a while, although it was probably still just edging into evening. He supressed a yawn as he slowly opened the door to the room where he remembered they had placed Gavin the night before. His eyes fell immediately on the bed where Gavin was wrapped up in the blankets like a toasty burrito and he thought about backing up to avoid waking the man when he spotted Ryan sitting, arms crossed next to the sleeping man.
"Uh, hi." He said, rubbing the back of his neck when the other man looked up at him. Ray closed the door quietly behind him, taking an awkward step into the room. He could see the black bags under Ryan's eyes, a stark contrast to his otherwise pale face. "Have you slept at all?"
"No." Ryan said, shaking his head tightly, his eyes drifting back towards Gavin. Ray shuffled on his feet.
"You look like shit man, you should try and get some sleep." He pointed out. Ryan blinked, glancing at him curiously.
"Jack had to go back to work and Geoff went to pick up some medication for him." He said, the seat creaking as he shifted. "I said I'd keep an eye on him whilst you two were sleeping."
"Where's Michael?"
"In the living room. He keeps coming in here though." Ryan replied, rolling his shoulders back with a resounding click.
"You should go get some sleep. I'll watch him if you want." Ray offered. Ryan ran his tongue over his lips, contemplating.
"I don't know where I should sleep." Ryan admitted. Ray quirked an eyebrow at the strange vulnerability in the other man's voice.
"You can take the spare room for now." Ray said, taking a step towards Ryan and reaching a hand out. Ryan stared at it for a moment before grabbing his hand and letting him help him to his feet.
"Thank you." Ryan said quietly, with a faint nod before he walked towards the door. Just as he was walking the door opened, and Michael crept in. The two made eye contact for a moment, Ryan breaking it to glance down at the floor and shift carefully past Michael, as Michael glared daggers at him.
"What's that about?" Ray intercepted as Ryan closed the door behind him, taking the now vacant seat as he stared up at Michael with a raised eyebrow.
"I just don't like him." Michael said with a shrug.
"Why not? He seems nice..." Ray pointed out, rolling his eyes at Michael's scowl.
"He seems creepy." Michael retorted, gritting his teeth. Ray huffed.
"Yeah, he doesn't have the best social skills I'll give you that, but he seems like an okay person. He helped Gavin after all."
"I don't trust him. You know what people say about him, about what he's done and stuff. I just think it's very convenient that the minute we go asking him where Gavin is, he shows up and finds Gavin within minutes when we couldn't after searching for hours." Michael suggested, eyes blazing protectively as they rested on Gavin, who stirred, twisting onto his side with a few indiscernible noises falling from his lips.
"If Ryan had hurt him, Gavin would tell us." Ray pointed out, furrowing his eyes at the tension radiating off the other man.
"If he had gang connections like everyone says, then he could have arranged all of this."
"You're starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist." Ray interrupted, rising to his feet and approaching Michael, resting his hands on the other man's shoulder and meeting his eyes. "Relax. Gavin's not as stupid as he looks. If he trusts him, then so can we."
"I have a bad feeling about him." Michael muttered, dropping his shoulders even as he melted into Ray's touch. Ray snorted.
"You said the same thing about Geoff. And Jack. And I'm sure you thought the same thing about me when we met." Ray pointed out. "Give him a chance. For Gavin's sake if no one else's. You might find you actually like him." Michael huffed disbelievingly, but remained stubbornly silent. Ray sighed, retreating back to the seat and turning his attention back to Gavin. After a moment Michael padded up next to him and sat cross legged at his feet. Ray smiled down at him.
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Ray was fucking starving. He knew Michael was too. It'd been a couple of days since they'd been with Geoff and Jack, and they hadn't eaten since then. Hadn't even thought of checking the kitchen for food, not fully sure that they were actually allowed to eat food that was not there's and not wanting to be a burden.
Jack and Geoff came in at unusual hours, which were the joys of working a night shift he supposed, but other than ensuring they had food for Gavin which they kept in his room so he didn't have to get up and stumble to the kitchen, they didn't actually bring up food at all. Ray didn't want to impose by asking.
There was a quiet knock on the door. Michael quirked an eyebrow, but stayed sitting on the couch where some shitty action film was playing on the crackly tv. Ray rolled his eyes, getting up and walking towards the door. He knew who it would be before he even opened it.
Ryan stood uneasily outside, shifting his weight constantly as he glanced around the neighbourhood. The other man kept leaving to go to his shifts, because by some miracle the Vagabond had managed to get a paying job. He always seemed conflicted about coming back though.
"I got some food for you guys." Ryan said, lifting up the plastic bag that was wrapped tightly around his wrist. Ray felt his mouth start to water as he stood aside to let Ryan in.
"Fucking A dude." He exclaimed, walking in eagerly after Ryan who deposited the bags on the living room floor. Michael straightened up, looking down at the plastic bags curiously.
"Help yourself." Ryan said, leaning back on his hunches as he tipped the bag upside down to reveal several ready meals, and an assortment of snacks. All stuff that could be eaten immediately, without having to cook. Ray tore into a packet of cocktail sausages, with a joyous laughter. Michael slipped off of the couch, and cautiously grabbed a couple of chocolate bars he found.
They heard a door open, and Geoff, who had managed to wrangle some time off to stay with Gavin, crept into the living room with a raised eyebrow. Ryan averted eye contact, looking slightly shifty as he carefully started to place the rubbish into the remaining plastic bag.
"Why'd you buy food?" Geoff asked, rubbing at the corner of his eyes tiredly as he leaned down and stole a cocktail sausage from Ray's hand. "I thought we had plenty." He said, still munching on the sausage.
Ray swallowed heavily, suddenly finding the carpet far more interesting, as he tangled his finger in the loose strands. Across from him Michael shuffled uncomfortably, turning his attention back to the TV and away from the conversation. Ryan just sat frozen with wide-eyes.
"What?" Geoff said, concern creeping into his voice. "Guys, what's up?" He asked, eyes darting around the three of them. Ryan managed to tear his gaze away this time. Geoff blinked. "You...you know you are allowed to eat our stuff, right?" Everyone remained silent.
"Jesus Christ guys, I didn't offer you to stay here just so I could starve you." Geoff exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "You can help yourself to anything here. Seriously. You don't have to ask." Geoff pointed out, the exasperation only faintly hiding his anxious horror.
"We didn't want to be a burden." Ray pointed out quietly when no one replied. Geoff looked at him, brows pinched together in worry. Ray shrugged, turning away.
"You guys aren't burdens." Geoff said sternly. "That's it, I'm going to go make dinner right now and you're all eating." Geoff decided, muttering something more to himself as he paced towards the kitchen, with a heavy eye roll as he went.
And as it turned out Geoff was a bloody good cook.
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Gavin had managed to all-but shake off his persistent tiredness, which was good in the sense of his recovery, but bad in the sense that now he wasn't sleeping pretty much 24/7 he had become possibly the worse patient in human history. A fact Ryan was learning rather quickly as he once more caught Gavin trying to sneak into the living room unaided, despite the fact that with only one good arm and leg, walking on a single crutch was perilous at best. Not to mention Gavin's already precarious sense of balance.
"Rye-bread!" Gavin whined as Ryan guided him back to the room with a huff. "I'm bored!" He complained, throwing himself back against Ryan's chest and gazing up at him with a prominent lip pout. "At least let me watch TV!" He added pitifully.
"Fine. But stop walking around on your own." He grumbled, pushing Gavin away from his chest and helping lead him into the living room with a sigh.
"I'm fine. I have a crutch." Gavin mumbled. Ryan raised his eyebrows, shaking his head as he helped plonk Gavin up on the couch. Ray and Michael had already retired for the night, whilst Jack and Geoff were doing their shift at the shelter.
"A crutch you can barely use. You should be in a wheelchair." He pointed out, grabbing a few cushions from the adjacent armchair and using it to prop up Gavin's injured leg.
"I can use it!" Gavin claimed childishly. Ryan stared at him exasperated. "I mean, for the most part...."
"You've fallen over twice today." Ryan retorted. "Which is why you're not meant to be walking around on your own." He sighed, turning on the tv and settling down on the floor in front of Gavin, his back pressed up on the couch as he passed the younger man the remote.
"But it's so boring having to wait around for other people to help." Gavin muttered, fiddling with the fabric of the couch.
"I was literally gone for 5 minutes whilst I went to the toilet." Ryan grumbled, tilting his head back to stare at the Brit.
"Since when do you care about that?" Ryan asked, craning his neck to meet Gavin's eyes. The younger man shrugged. The tv flickered as he picked a channel, sinking back into the couch with a pout as the sounds washed over them.
"I'd prefer to be independent." Gavin added after a moment.
"It's okay to rely on other people." Ryan pointed out, shifting onto his knees as he turned to face Gavin properly. The Brit hummed, reaching out with his good hand to brush through Ryan's hair. Ryan leaned into the touch, reaching up and grabbing Gavin's hand in his own.
"Sit on the couch." Gavin suggested, lifting himself into a sitting position. Ryan raised an eyebrow, but lifted himself up into the small space that Gavin had made for him. Gavin sighed happily, lying back down with his head on Ryan's lap, smiling softly as Ryan gently scratched his scalp.
Ryan wanted to ask him then whether he had thought more about the kiss. But Gavin was relaxed, and he didn't want to destroy that, especially when Gavin was still happy to reach out and seek comfort in him. But at the same time he desperately wanted more. Even just to be able to lean down and kiss the younger man, even say that he loved him. But he remained silent, turning his gaze towards the tv screen even as his thoughts whirred.
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Ryan thought that Jack must have been a nurse in a past life, just by the sheer amount of patience he possessed and his gentle touch despite his strong frame. After the last few days Jack had taken over most of Gavin’s care, regularly checking his temperature and adjusting his bandages when necessary. Even offering him physical comfort when the pain became a bit too much.
"You and Gavin are close right?" Jack asked, as he chucked the dirtied sheets into the laundry basket by his feet. Ryan hummed in agreement, hanging back as he watched Jack change the bed sheets whilst Gavin was in the living room with Michael and Ray. "I can tell. You seem very fond of him." Jack mused.
.
"Everyone seems fond of him." Ryan said, shuffling his weight awkwardly. Jack smiled, unfolding the clean sheet and struggling to stretch it out across the bed. Ryan walked forward and helped him out, tucking the sheet into the back corners of the mattress whilst Jack dragged it out.
"I guess that's true." Jack said after they finished getting the sheet on, meeting Ryan's gaze with a smile.
"There's not many people who would open up their house as easily as you have done." Ryan pointed out, eyes scanning over Jack thoughtfully.
"I mean, Gavin needs somewhere to stay right?" Jack said, waving him off with a shrug. Ryan tilted his head.
"You didn't just open your house for him." Ryan added. Jack frowned, grabbing some of the waste that had collected over the last few days and chucking them into a black bag. "It is very kind of you." Ryan said after a moment.
"I think most people are kind. I don't think we're unusual in that." Jack said, blushing faintly. Ryan blinked.
"Not in my experience."
"Well, I mean sure there are some crap people, but I think everyone's capable of kindness." Jack argued, patting him on the back as he walked past him to grab some more randomly strewn clothes that had collected on the floor.
"When does Gavin have to go back to the hospital?" He asked, changing the subject. Jack glanced at him, no doubt in his expression at what Ryan was doing.
"Not for a few weeks yet. Only when he's getting the casts off." Jack replied, tying up the black bag and lifting up the laundry basket. "Come on, I'll let you decide what we're having for dinner." He said. Ryan huffed, following him as he walked towards the kitchen.
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"Ryan..." Gavin said, turning to face him with a blush as Ryan helped him to move the plate he had been eating from onto the bedside table and out of his way. Ryan raised an eyebrow, prodding him to continue. "I haven't washed in a few days. I kind of want to have a shower." He continued, his cheeks burning red.
"You need help?" Ryan guessed. Gavin nodded, giggling awkwardly. "A bath might be easier." Ryan pointed out, trying to think of what would work with Gavin's currently limited mobility.
"I just want to be clean." Gavin shrugged.
"Okay, let's figure out how to do this." Ryan said, getting to his feet and passing Gavin his crutch as he helped the younger man up. Gavin stumbled into his side, still blushing profusely. He guided them into the bathroom, which was thankfully not far, and deposited the Brit on the toilet seat.
"Wait here." He ordered, leaving the bathroom and searching through the cupboard under the stairs for the black bags. He pulled a few bags off and walked back to the bathroom, to the sight of Gavin tangled up in his shirt and cursing profusely as he struggled, about to fall of the seat before Ryan moved forward to prop him back up. He grabbed the bottom of the shirt with one hand and gently lifted it up, making sure to gently untangle Gavin's injured arm, and pull the shirt over his head.
Ryan couldn't help the way his eyes dated towards Gavin's bruise-littered torso. He brushed his hand gently over one of the bruises across Gavin's ribs, which was still a dark shade of black, with a faint crusting of blue around it. Gavin shivered under the soft touch.
"Take your pants off if you can." Ryan suggested, turning towards the bath and turning the taps, feeling the temperature carefully with his hand.
"Wouldn't a shower be quicker?" Gavin suggested, his hands wrapped self-consciously over his chest.
"You could slip." Ryan pointed out. He stepped up, seeing that Gavin had yet to make a move to undress himself further. He stared at the shoulder sling, trying to figure out a way to prevent it from getting wet. "Fuck it." He muttered to himself, wrapping the black bag around the arm, ignoring the way Gavin stared at him in confusion, and trying to ignore the way it didn't fully cover the sling where it wrapped around Gavin's shoulder. "Try to stay sat up in the bath." Ryan advised, not certain how careful he had to be to prevent the sling from getting wet.
Gavin was really skinny. Ryan hadn't fully noticed the extent to which his ribs pressed up against his skin, making the outline obvious and the way his stomach indented inwards, instead of having a normal, healthy pouch. It wasn't surprising, not when Gavin had a small frame anyway and had spent the last month or more homeless. But it still made him worried.
"Liking what you see?" Gavin teased. Ryan glanced up at him, smirking when Gavin blushed.
"You're skinny as fuck." Ryan pointed out. "Plus is it even possible to have that much chest hair?" He mocked, plucking a small hair and laughing at Gavin's spluttered squawk.
"It's insulating!" Gavin exclaimed, slapping his hand away. "It keeps me warm." He claimed with a small smirk.
"You know what? I could see that. There's basically enough there to make a fur coat." He teased back.
"You're mean." Gavin grumbled, mock insult spreading across his features. Ryan smirked.
"Come on, take your pants off." He said, glancing towards the bath tub that was rapidly filling. He walked over to it and tested the temperature, before turning the hot tap on full force.
"You perv." Gavin grumbled, pulling at the top of his pants with one arm, and failing to make any significant progress. Ryan rolled his eyes.
"Here let me do it." He suggested, walking back and tugging Gavin's pants off with a swift tug, mindful of his ankle. Gavin squeaked and blushed.
"You're not meant to look!" Gavin complained.
"I'm giving you a bath, there's no way I can avoid looking" Ryan pointed out. "Besides you're still wearing underwear."
"You're still wearing underwear." Gavin retorted childishly. Ryan quirked an eyebrow.
"I usually go commando." Gavin spluttered, staring up at him with wide eyes, before his gaze trailed downwards. "Don't get excited, I'm joking." He mocked, laughing at Gavin's indignant expression. "Anyway, take your underwear off, the bath is basically ready."
"You have to turn around then." Gavin grumbled.
"I'm going to see it anyway." Ryan sighed, exasperated. Gavin glared at him. "Fine!" He said, resigned as he turned around. A few moments passed. "Can I turned round now?"
"Okay, but you can't look." Gavin said.
"I can't do both genius." Ryan pointed out, turning around anyway, and ignoring Gavin's stuttered complaint as he dropped to his knees in front of the younger man and wrapped his cast in the black bag to prevent it getting wet. He stood up sharply, and gestured for Gavin to get up to.
Gavin stumbled upwards, blushing furiously as he limped towards the bath, leaning on Ryan most of the time. Ryan pretty much lifted him up to get him over the bath edge, which was frustratingly high, before gently dropping the younger man into the water, getting the sleeves of his shirt wet in the process.
"Bubble bath!" Gavin yelled suddenly, snapping forward and reaching for a bottle of bubble bath mixture he had somehow managed to locate in the space of a few seconds. Why two grown man had bloody bubble bath mixture was beyond him, but he merely smiled as Gavin poured a gracious amount into the bathtub.
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Getting him out of the bath was a lot more difficult, and resulted in Ryan getting splashed dramatically, to which Gavin merely giggled. Ryan had almost decided to simply abandon him in the tub but he knew Gavin would still try to get out. He was still wiping foam out of his hair as he pulled Gavin, wrapped up snugly in a towel, towards the bedroom and on the bed with a huff.
The door to the room smashed open and they both jumped, with Gavin letting out a sharp yelp. Ryan blinked, taking a step back as Michael walked in, positively seething with rage, as his eyes seemed to glow and fixed on Ryan, something almost murderous in their depths. Ray stumbled in next to him, looking startled and suddenly very small next to the rage radiating off of Michael which was filling the room.
"Get the fuck out of here Haywood, or I'm calling the fucking police you complete and utter cunt." Michael hissed. Ryan swallowed, widening the distance between them, wary of the way Michael kept clenching his hands into fists.
"Michael?" Gavin called meekly from the bed, wide-eyed where his hair was still dripping wet and clinging to the outline of his face.
"Michael, maybe you should wait for Geoff and Jack..." Ray suggested quietly. Michael narrowed his eyes, his face burning red as he marched forward.
"Get the fuck out Haywood." Michael growled, leaning towards him, and even with the height difference, the sight was intimidating.
"What is this about?" He said, warily holding his hands up defensively.
"You, acting like you're all innocent and kind and whatever the fuck you think you are, when you're a complete and utter lunatic sociopath murderer!" Michael yelled, smashing his fist into the side of Ryan's cheek. He stumbled back with a gasp, his back hitting the wall with a thud and preventing any further retreat. Across the room Gavin and Ray were yelling, but the noise faded into the background as he met Michael's furious gaze.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ryan defended, breathing heavily. Michael snarled, full animalistic fury flowing off of him.
"Ryan ain't you're real name. There's no one called Ryan Haywood. You're Edgar Haywood, the fucking maniac who raped and murdered seven young men. And you can damn well choke on your own dick before you think you can do it again." Michael yelled.
Ryan choked on his own breath, a strangled whimper escaping him as he clawed into the wall behind him. He closed his eyes, shaking his head pitifully and trying to ignore the shocked silence that had descended over the room. He didn't want to look up and see the way the others were looking at him now.
"No, no, no you don't understand." He muttered under his breath, opening his eyes and meeting Michael, his whole world suddenly focused on just the other man and right then he felt his own rage bubbling up because how dare he think he had the right to search him up, to look into his personal life and bring this things crashing down on him, how fucking dare he!
"There's nothing to understand. It was all over the news." Michael said with a smug grin that showed too much teeth. "I saw the picture. No wonder you try and hide your face."
"Edgar Haywood is dead you complete and utter fucking idiot!" He snapped, punching the wall behind him. Michael took a wary step back. "He was shot in 2005 after escaping. Or did you not figure that out in your fucking search?" He growled. "You saw the name, you saw the blurry picture or whatever and you didn't even think about searching further before you come in here and accuse me of things I didn't fucking do!"
"There's no one called Ryan Haywood that matches you." Michael said defensively.
"That's coz Ryan is my middle name you fucking cunt. My name is James Ryan Haywood you dick." He growled, lips curling downwards into a snarl.
"The picture..."
"The picture looks like me because Edgar Haywood is my fucking son of a bitch father." He snapped. There was silence again, but this time he could hear himself panting. "He's my father." He added again, quieter this time. His nostrils flared as he tried to calm his breathing but he couldn't. He could see everyone staring at him, and this was exactly why he didn't make friends. Because it always came down to this.
"Well..." Michael stuttered, glancing down at the floor, but Ryan didn't have any more time for this.
"Get the fuck away from me!" He hissed, pushing past the other man and storming out of the room, throwing the door violently shut behind him and probably almost ripping it off of its hinges. He heard the voices inside start yelling again, building up into a crescendo but he didn't care. He growled, stomping towards the front door and yanking it open, not even bothering to make sure it was close before breaking out into a frantic run.
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He thought of not coming back. It wouldn't be the first time he'd run away without a word. But he couldn't do that now. Not to Gavin, not when there was still a chance that the younger man might have feelings for him. He couldn't even do it to Michael, because even though he was furious and hurt about what he had done, Ryan knew that Michael and Gavin had a friendship that he didn't have the right to break. If he left now, Gavin would blame Michael and that wasn't fair on either of them.
But he felt horrendous as he crept back to the house. He hadn't even thought to grab a jacket before he ran out, and now there was a chill frost in the air that sank into his bones without mercy. He shivered, wrapping him arms around his chest and approaching the door hesitantly. He didn't want to knock, but god he just wanted to get somewhere warm. He sighed, rapping his knuckles lightly against the door.
The door opened almost immediately. It was Michael.
"Holy shit dude, you're frozen." The younger man pointed out, grabbing his arm and dragging him into the warmth. The house was darker than when he had left it. Out of some petty irritation he avoided looking at Michael, merely grunting in reply before stalking into the living room and sinking into the couch. Michael hovered awkwardly by the door.
"Okay, I get it I'm an absolute dick." Michael sighed, slipping into the living room. Ryan didn't reply, just gritted his teeth together. "You're right, I shouldn't have search you up. Dick move, I know." Michael tugged a hand through his curls. Ryan looked away, not interested in whatever it was the younger man had to say.
"I'm sorry." Michael said quietly. Ryan frowned, turning to look at him in shock. "I know I'm a pretty shitty person, okay? And I'm really sorry." Michael sighed, sinking into the armchair opposite and pulling his knees up into his chest.
"I just...I have issues with trust. I mean, just ask Ray, it took me months to even trust him, and he's the most harmless guy in the world. So yeah, I didn't trust you, because you surround yourself with these awful rumours, and so I searched you up, because if the rumours were true, there would be information on you and your father came up, and yeah, I didn't even think, I just panicked. The picture did look like you. And I mean, I was worried about Gavin mainly. I don't know, it was a dick move I get it, but..." Michael trailed off. Ryan stared at him for a minute or so whilst they descended into silence.
"I know where you're coming from. You just brought up bad memories, you know?" Ryan admitted with a sigh.
"I mean, if it helps my father was a son of a bitch too. Didn't murder anyone, but might as well have." Michael said with a shrug, his expression relaxing slightly.
"I'm surprised my father never killed me to be honest." Ryan admitted suddenly. Michael blinked at him. "It wasn't just seven victims by the way, but they could only connect those deaths to him. I think he started killing after my mum died, I'm sure someone will find some psychological significance in that I don't know, but that was when I was about two. I'm not really sure what I remember, whether it was dreams or not, but I knew I wasn't allowed to talk about anything happening at home. And I know that he hated me. Maybe it would have just been too suspicious to kill me, I don't know." Ryan mused. He'd never really voiced those thoughts before and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
"Is that why you're homeless?" Michael asked, leaning heavily on the armrest.
"Kind of. I mean, he never let me leave the house you know? Scared I'd tell the wrong person the wrong stuff even though I didn't fully know what was going on. So he wouldn't let me go to college, even forced me to drop out of high school, and he was the only family I had, so when he got convicted I didn't have anywhere to go. And no one wanted to help me out, a few were convinced I must have known what was going on, that I had helped out or whatever. It was just easier to run away from it all, and then there was nowhere else to go."
"Families fucking suck man." Michael huffed. "Like I said, my dad's a dick. My stories a lot more typical; abusive household, ran away, found no support, ended up on the street. Fucking commonplace story to be honest." Michael snorted. "Also, what sort of name is Edgar? What the fuck? No wonder he became a murderer."
Ryan snorted despite himself, letting himself smile ever so slightly, even though it dropped from his face quite suddenly. He sighed, lying down on the couch and content to try and sleep here, if only he could get rid of his insomnia for one night.
"Are we okay?" Michael asked suddenly, the chair he was on creaking as he shuffled uneasily.
"Yeah. We're good." Ryan answered, meeting Michael's gaze with a soft smile. Anyone who could make him feel even the slightest trace of humour about his fucked up family life was good in his book. It was miles better than the pity, or even the horror he usually got whenever he told the story.
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Jack crept into the living room, noticing that Ryan was still sleeping on the couch and attempting to avoid disturbing him. It was still early, but he didn't mind being awake when he didn't have to go to work later on. The others would probably be waking up in an hour or so, and it might be nice for them to wake up to a cooked breakfast, especially considering that Geoff had told him about the idiots not eating for a couple of days.
He searched the fridge and the pantry, trying to think of what he could cook, and whether he actually had enough for six people. He chewed on his lower lip, eventually deciding that he should probably settle for a fry up. He would have to stock up later today.
He almost jumped out of his skin, yelping as he closed the fridge door and saw that Ryan was staring at him. He placed his hand on his chest, sending the other man a withering glare as he tried to settle his rapidly beating heart.
"Sorry…" Ryan said with a soft smile, brushing a hand through his wild bed hair. He looked dishevelled, wearing an oversized jumper and loose trousers that can't have been that comfortable to sleep in. His eyes were still tired, but there was something almost cute about the other man's appearance.
"Don't worry about it." Jack waved him off with a smile, pulling his gaze away from the other man. "I'm just going to cook breakfast." He explained, placing the pack of sausages he had grabbed onto the counter, as he searched the cupboard for a saucepan.
"I can help if you want." Ryan offered. Jack smiled.
"Nah, it's fine. The kitchens really not big enough for more than one cook to be honest." Jack replied. There was a reason why it was usually just him or Geoff that cooked, and not both of them together. It was really a pain to manoeuvre in a kitchen this small, but then they didn't really have the money to do anything about it. "How are you feeling by the way? Ray told me a bit about what happened yesterday."
"I'm okay." Ryan said with a shrug. Jack hummed, glancing back at the other man as he turned on the stove.
"Michael has trouble trusting people. Don't take it to heart." He added. It was true, the younger man had dealt with a lot of shit in his lifetime from other people, and that generally made it very hard for him to trust new people. It didn't help that he definitely had some issues with anger.
"It's fine. He apologized. I guess I'm not the easiest person to trust." Ryan replied. Jack quirked an eyebrow.
"I talked to Michael last night. He didn't say he apologized." He hummed. Michael wasn't generally one for apologizing; not because he lacked a conscience or anything like that, he just knew it took a lot for the other man to actually say the word sorry. "If he apologized, than he generally feels bad. He doesn't say sorry without meaning it." Jack pointed out at Ryan's confused expression.
"He seemed earnest." Ryan agreed with a soft smile. "I understand why he panicked last night. A lot of people have done worse when they've found this stuff out."
"It's not fair to blame you for what your father did. Especially when it sounds like you were a victim in your own right." Jack said, turning to face the other man. Ryan ducked his head, shrugging. "Seriously, you've shown yourself to have a big heart. We owe you that Gavin is safe right now. Don't beat yourself up for something that isn't your fault." He continued, placing a hand on Ryan's shoulder. The other man looked up at him, something startled in his expression before he smiled.
"Thank you...." He trailed off then, looking suddenly nervous and unsure. Jack patted him gently, turning his attention back to the sausages that were sizzling in the pan.
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Jack dished up the food, just as the others drifted downstairs, lured by the rich aroma and hungry stomachs. He gathered up a plate and a glass of orange juice and headed towards Gavin's room, instructing Ryan to sit down whilst he tended to the injured man. Ryan had been doing more than enough to help Gavin out, he deserved to take a break at least to just eat.
Gavin was already awake by the time he entered, which was surprising considering the other man tended to lay in until woken. He sat down the glass on the side table, watching with concern as Gavin turned tired and frustrated eyes towards him, shifting up lazily to rest the plate on his lap.
"You okay?" Jack asked, watching Gavin struggle to eat with one hand, despite the fact that Jack had already cut up the food for him.
"Just tired." Gavin shrugged.
"Didn't sleep?" Jack guessed, eyes trailing down Gavin's body for any signs of worsening injuries. Gavin nodded. "Any particular reason?"
"My ribs hurt." Gavin admitted quietly. Jack pressed his lips together, moving Gavin's plate to the side as he lifted up the younger man's shirt and assessed the dark bruising. Gavin sighed, letting him prod around, but despite the fact the bruises were still stark and somewhat horrifying, there had been some improvement. They had become less black, and were now spotted with yellow here and there. Gavin hissed as his fingers traced along one particularly bad bruise.
"Are you taking your painkillers?" Jack asked, sitting back with a frown. Gavin pursed his lips, gently shaking his head. "Well, that's probably why it hurts. The doctor said you should be taking them for at least the next two weeks." He pointed out, exasperated.
"They're really difficult to take. I just keep choking on them." Gavin argued. Jack furrowed his brows, reaching for the bottle of painkillers resting on the side table.
"They don't look that big?" He pointed out, quirking an eyebrow.
"I have a really bad gag reflex." Gavin admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Jack glanced at him, before turning the pills around and double checking the dosage.
"I'll be back in a minute or so." Jack said, taking the pills with him to the kitchen. He could just crush the pills into the powder, although it probably wouldn't do anything for the taste.
He boiled the kettle, and rummaged through the pantry until he found some honey and lemon juice. He smirked, satisfied as he grabbed a spare glass and poured some honey into it, mixing it with the lemon juice. As the kettle boiled he poured the boiling water in, watching it dissolve the honey mixture. He got a rolling pin and crushed a couple of the pills, spooning the powder into the drink and mixing it.
"What's that for?" It was Geoff who asked, walking lazily into the kitchen, and placing his empty plate onto the counter, moving it to the sink only when Jack glared at him.
"Gavin. He's having trouble swallowing pills." He replied. Geoff looked at the mixture, nodding, before glancing behind him where the others were gathered in the living room and lowering his voice.
"About Gavin..." He started, something almost shy in his voice. "Do you think it'll be a dick move to ask him out?" He added. "I mean, I don't want to put pressure on him whilst his injured or anything..."
"Why are you asking me?" Jack retorted, trying to keep his voice level and ignoring the way bitter jealousy tightened in his gut. It wasn't his business if Geoff was interested in someone else. That was just life.
"You're my best friend." Geoff replied, staring at him earnestly. Jack sighed.
"Ask him if you want, just make sure he knows that we're not going to kick him out if he says no." Jack suggested, pushing aside his own feelings. He was Geoff's friend first. That was always how things were going to work between them. Geoff nodded eagerly.
"Yeah of course. I'll ask him later on today. Thanks Jack." Geoff said, hugging him briefly, before giving him a wide smile and walking back into the living room. Jack watched him go, heavily conflicted before taking the cooling honey mixture and returning to Gavin.
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Gavin stirred as the door to his room opened. He'd decided to nap after taking the painkillers with Jack's help, especially now they had helped to numb the pain enough for him to actually be able to get to sleep. He yawned, turning on his side and glancing at who entered, smiling softly as Geoff walked in.
"Hey buddy." Geoff greeted, wringing his hands together in front of him as he took a seat next to Gavin's bed. "I didn't realise you were asleep." He added, his knee bouncing restlessly.
"I was just dozing." Gavin replied, shifting into a sitting position as he stared questioningly at Geoff. "Are you okay?" He asked, the nervousness radiating off of the older man almost tangible in the air.
"Yeah I'm good. Great even." Geoff laughed nervously. "I was just...thinking about maybe asking you something..."
"Go on." Gavin had a sinking feeling about where this was going. It wasn't that he didn't like Geoff, or that he even particularly wanted to say no, it was just...he still hadn't figured out what was going on with Ryan and he couldn't say yes to this and no to the other, or vice versa without feeling like something was distinctly wrong, but he didn't want to say no to either but that wasn't exactly an option.
"I was thinking, if you wanted, and like, it's completely up to you, whether maybe you wanted to, you know, go out?" Geoff asked, voice shaking ever so slightly. Gavin swallowed, clenching his hands in the sheet, because now this was a lot harder, because with Ryan, at least it had been a heat of the moment thing, but now, he felt like he was going to have to hurt someone's feelings even when he wanted so desperately to say yes. But the more he remained silent, the more he could see the doubt overtaking Geoff's expression.
"I mean..." He trailed off, trying to actually for once in his life explain what he was feeling coherently. "I mean, I do, but um, I kind of need to wrap my thoughts around things before I can really say yes, because, um, well, it's complicated, but I just, well I need time to think about it." He mumbled, glancing down at the floor so he didn't have to look at Geoff's pain stricken expression.
"Time to think..." Geoff repeated dubiously. "I mean, yeah okay, that makes sense." He added, speaking a little too fast. Gavin chewed on his bottom lip, watching Geoff run a shaky hand through his hair. "I need to go and rest up for my shift." Geoff decided, abruptly getting to his feet and hastily exiting the room.
Gavin flopped back against the pillow with a heavy groan, honestly wanting to just scream about this entire situation. He stared up at the ceiling morosely. Why did this stuff have to be so bloody difficult? Why did he have to have feelings for multiple people at once, goddammit.
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Gavin sighed, scratching at the sling on his arm, and glancing pitifully towards the door every now and again. He hadn't seen Geoff since the day before, and he knew the older man was avoiding him, considering what had happened. God, if only he could have said yes. But he wanted to say yes to Ryan. He wanted more than he could have, which was the problem and he honestly was on the verge of ripping his hair out in frustration.
The door opened and he looked up hopefully, but sighed when only Jack entered. He'd half hoped it would be Geoff, but then, he didn't have anything else he could say. For all his talk about needing time to think, his thoughts had yet to lead him to a solid answer.
"Wow, you look cheerful. What's up with you?" Jack asked, placing a glass full of the honey mixture on the side table as he waited for it to cool down.
"Can I ask you for advice?" He asked with a sigh. Jack tilted his head, but nodded, smiling encouragingly. "So, this is going to sound stupid, but say, hypothetically, you are like interested in more than one person at once, and they're both interested in you, but you don't want to say no to one of them, what would you do?"
"Is this about Geoff?" Jack asked, leaning back against the chair. Gavin blinked at him, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Geoff told me he wanted to ask you out." Jack explained with a shrug.
"Yeah. He did." Gavin admitted. "And I kind of want to say yes, but I’m kind of also interested in someone else who might be interested in me, and I really have no idea what to do."
"You're saying you love more than one person?" Jack asked, his brows furrowing in concentration. Gavin nodded with a frustrated huff. "Have you considered a polygamous relationship?"
"Um..." Gavin mumbled intelligently. Off all things for Jack to suggest, he had not thought that would be one. "I mean, isn't that a bit weird..." He added.
"Not really. I know a few people who are polygamous. If you love more than one person, and everyone's okay about the situation, than why not? No need to limit yourself to one partner." Jack argued with a shrug. Gavin frowned.
"I mean, do you think Geoff would be okay with it?" Gavin asked cautiously.
"Would I be okay with what?" Geoff's voice interrupted them, where he was leaning against the doorway with furrowed brows. Gavin yelped, blushing as he wondered how much the other man had heard.
"Gavin wants to know whether you're okay with polygamous relationships." Jack answered. Gavin spluttered, blush deepening as he stared back at Geoff, ready to deny it immediately but stopping when he saw the thoughtful look that had descended over Geoff's expression.
"So me, Gavin and you in a relationship?" Geoff questioned, directing Jack, whose eyes widened. "Yeah, I'd be okay with that." He agreed.
"Wait no, I didn't mean with me..." Jack interrupted, startled. Geoff froze, a panicked look coming across his features.
"Yeah, I mean, obviously 'coz you're straight..." Geoff said with a strained laugh.
"I'm not straight." Jack replied, brows furrowed. Gavin shuffled up on the bed, watching the exchange with wide eyes, but choosing for once to bite his tongue and say nothing.
"Jack you've never once dated a guy." Geoff argued, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.
"I've dated guys before I met you." Jack retorted, getting to his feet and narrowing his eyes.
"I've never seen you even show interest in guys before!"
"You've never seen me show interest in anyone Geoff." Jack replied, staring Geoff down. Geoff straightened, dropping his arms to his side.
"Oh...you never said anything..." Geoff mumbled quietly, a blush decorating his cheeks handsomely.
"You never showed interest!"
"I showed loads of interest!" Geoff retorted, before snapping his mouth shut at Jack's startled gaze.
"What?"
"Are you blind? All I ever did in like the first year I knew you was say on a daily basis how gay I was, and how wonderful you were, and you never figured it out?"
"You used to bring guys back here all the time..."
"Yeah, well." Geoff rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Thought you'd show interest then. But you just accepted it, so I moved on..."
"You didn't ask me out to make Jack jealous did you?" Gavin asked quietly.
"God no! I asked you out because...well, I like you, you idiot." Geoff mumbled. "And I like Jack. And apparently Jack likes me. So I'm fully up for this threeway relationship or whatever if you two are."
Gavin glanced at Jack then, and perhaps he would never have thought about it beforehand, but he did like Jack. He trusted him, he enjoyed his company, he was kind and sweet, he'd opened his house to Gavin, he'd helped him out numerous times, either dealing with stupid paperwork, or with advice or taking painkillers, and he found the other man funny in the same way a bad pun is funny. And yeah, maybe he would like to give it a try.
"I'm okay." He agreed, staring up at Jack hopefully, who looked shocked.
"Yeah, me too." Jack nodded quickly. They all beamed at each other than, a startled bubble of giggles escaping their lips.
"Wait, if it wasn't Jack that Gavin wanted a polygamous relationship with, who was it?" Geoff asked suddenly then.
"Um, Ryan..." He said, thinking about adding on Michael and Ray, but god, he should at least try to accept what he already had. Geoff blinked. "I mean, I don't expect you guys to date him as well, but I'd like to date him if that's okay..."
"Yeah I'm okay with that I guess." Jack nodded, scratching at his beard.
"I guess. I mean, we'd have to figure it out. It might be easier if we try to date him as well." Geoff mused. "But I mean, sure, go ahead and start dating him now. I'm okay with it." Geoff added with a smile. Gavin grinned, butterflies booming in his chest.
"The three of us should go on a proper date." Jack suggested, giggling like a teenager.
"Absolutely!" Gavin chimed in.
"Geoff can pay." Jack added, before the other man could say anything. Geoff spluttered a noise of complaint, but the smile and pure joy in his eyes betrayed him.
Geoff huffed, muttering something about work and Gavin’s injuries, before the three of them descended into laughter, all grinning at each other like lovesick teenagers, pure joyous excitement filling him and making him giddy and lightheaded at the prospect of this relationship.
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Gavin hobbled into the living room at night, content that the house was silent enough that it was unlikely anyone else was awake. He moved towards the couch, where he could see Ryan huddled up in a thin blanket, his chest rising and falling steadily. He lowered himself to the floor, gently shaking the sleeping form.
Ryan stirred, and Gavin couldn't help but smile to see how much more Ryan was relaxed now that he was somewhere safe. He woke up like a normal person, not lashing out and attacking blindly like he had been prone to do, but instead letting his eyes flutter open and focus on the person in front of him.
"Gavin?" Ryan mumbled, the word distorted by tiredness. "Are you okay?" He asked, rubbing at his eyes as he lifted his head wearily. Gavin smiled up at him.
"What do you think of polygamous relationships?" He asked. Ryan blinked at him.
"You better not have woken me up for some hypothetical question." The older man grumbled, crawling into a sitting position.
"Nah, I'm serious." Gavin persisted, suddenly nervous, because what if Ryan actually hated the idea, and thought it was disgusting and maybe he'd be angry. Gavin shifted uneasily, wishing that maybe he was a bit less sober, because that would make this so much easier.
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, obviously noticing his anxiety.
"I'm just...I'm going out with Geoff and Jack now." He said suddenly, thinking of it like ripping a band aid off. Ryan blinked, a flash of hurt in his eyes that he quickly covered up, but not fast enough to prevent Gavin noticing. "But it's open! Like, they said their cool with me also dating you, I mean of course if you're okay with that..." He trailed off, feeling his heart beating in his chest.
Ryan didn't respond for a moment. And then all at once grabbed Gavin around the waist and lifted him into his lap, and their mouths met and he moaned, letting Ryan's hand roam up his torso, as he keened into the older man's mouth, sighing happily as Ryan wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and nibbled lightly at his bottom lip. Gavin tried to wrap his arms around Ryan, but yelped when he was reminded of the sling and he lost his balance and fell into Ryan's chest.
"You're amazing." Ryan hummed, and Gavin could feel the noise vibrating through his chest and he loved it. He looked up, eyes wide as he nibbled at Ryan's exposed neck, enjoying the way the older man shuddered beneath him. "God, I love you, you're so fucking amazing Gavin." Ryan moaned, brushing his hands through Gavin's hair. Gavin mewled happily.
"Come sleep with me." He murmured, leaning into Ryan's chest, and feeling the older man stiffen above him.
"I don't want to hurt you..." Ryan said cautiously. Gavin blinked, before blushing as he realised what he said.
"No, I mean like actual sleep, like lie in a bed and close your eyes sleep, you numpty."
"Numpty huh?" Ryan huffed, laughter escaping his lips and it was the most beautiful sound Gavin had ever heard. And then Ryan was lifting him up, hugging him close to his body as he walked them back to the bedroom, and placing him gently on the bed and crawling in beside him.
"You're wonderful." Ryan murmured, kissing along his neck and wrapping his arm around Gavin's waist, slotting them together perfectly.
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Geoff had expected things to change dramatically. He hadn't woken up yesterday planning to enter a polygamous relationship, and by all accounts it should feel weird whilst they had to adjust, but it just felt natural. As if all the pieces had come together, finally. Like this was how things were meant to be all along.
Even now, lying beside Jack, who was still snoring quietly, felt like something that had happened already. Not to say there wasn't that excited buzz spreading through his veins at the thought, or the strange tipsy feeling that invaded his stomach at the start of a relationship, but mostly it just felt comfortable, like coming home after a long day and sinking into a warm bed.
He didn't move until Jack's breathing changed and he stirred, eyes fluttering open and smiling happily as they met Geoff's. He leaned on his side, stroking his thumb across Jack's bare chest, watching will a satisfied glint in his eyes as Jack blinked away the tiredness in his eyes and turned on his side to face Geoff.
"Hey..." Jack said quietly, a giddy little smile tugging at his lips and making his face glow. Geoff smirked, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on the other man's lips, enjoying the way Jack shuddered from the small touch and continued to chase it even as Geoff broke contact.
"Hey buddy." Geoff smiled. Jack laughed, throwing his head back and plopping onto his back again.
"God..." Jack whispered, a huff of mirth tracing the word. Geoff hummed, nuzzling his head against Jack's shoulder, and biting a few kisses down the other's neck. Jack sighed happily, tilting his neck to expose more skin. "So this is for real then?"
"Hope you're not having doubts now." Geoff joked, tilting his head to look up at Jack. Jack shock his head, still smiling as he brushed a hand through Geoff's hair.
"Doesn't feel real." Jack murmured. "I can't believe I get to have both you and Gavin..."
"And Ryan maybe." Geoff piped up. Jack raised an eyebrow, thoughtfully.
"Yeah, maybe." Jack said, scratching at his beard. "Are you thinking we should make a move on him then?"
"I dunno, I mean, yeah we don't know him as well as we know each other, or we know Gavin, but I guess that I kind of want to get to know him. I mean, I'd rather at least try than be left wondering, you get me?" Geoff admitted. He supposed that actually, if he had met Ryan in a bar or something, he probably would have tried to buy him a drink or whatever, because yeah, the other man was definitely his type, especially when he opened up and relaxed around them, dropping his more threatening persona.
"Yeah, I sort of feel the same way. I like Ryan anyway, so it wouldn't be hard to actually take it further." Jack mused. "I guess we just have to make sure he's comfortable with it."
"Yeah." Geoff nodded, cuddling up lazily to Jack, and wrapping the duvet around them both, indifferent to the uncomfortable warmth as he placed a few more kisses along the other's neck, stroking his hand along Jack's chest and enjoying the way he moaned quietly as he brushed over his sensitive areas.
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Geoff didn't make a move on Ryan that day. He'd brought up his thoughts to Gavin, and watching the younger man smile and nod enthusiastically definitely encouraged him along that path, but he didn't want to push the other man. But something had definitely ached deep within him when he came down and saw Ryan and Gavin cuddled up together, and he yearned desperately to join them. A quick look at Jack and he saw his own feelings mirrored.
And then the next day he had woken up early, needing to go to the toilet, and after discovering that untangling himself from Jack's tight grip was a feat in itself, he'd eventually managed to escape and quietly pad downstairs to the toilet.
He walked out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his dressing gown, and paused, certain that he'd heard something in the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes and headed that way, tilting his head as he strained to hear what was definitely the clacking of pans. He grumbled quietly to himself; it was definitely too early for anyone to be cooking.
He froze, eyes widening as he spotted Ryan, dressed down in just baggy jeans and a shirt that showed of his impressive arms, muscled and strong enough to probably easily lift any one of them. And he was baking. Geoff went quiet, hesitating at the boundary and watching the other man as he scooped some cake mixture into the little cupcake wrappers that lined the kitchen. Flour was sprinkled over the counter, and over Ryan himself, a smudge of which was currently resting over his forehead, and damn, if that wasn't the most adorable thing ever.
He laughed, and Ryan jumped about ten feat in the air, spinning around with startled eyes and breathing heavily. Geoff just continued to wheeze out strangled laughter. Ryan straightened up, brushing his hair out of his eyes and just succeeding in covering himself in more flour.
"Are you baking?" Geoff asked, incredulous. Ryan shifted his weight like a child caught taking a cookie from the tin. “Oh my god, you're a secret baker. You secretly bake things. That's incredible."
"I..." Ryan started, blushing a deep shade of red.
"Where did you even get all this stuff?" Geoff asked, walking into the kitchen and gesturing vaguely towards all the cake mixture. He was pretty sure that they hadn't had all these ingredients a few days ago.
"Um, I bought it..." Ryan shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh god, that's brilliant."
"You're not annoyed?" Ryan asked, tilting his head with a strained smile. Geoff felt giddy all over at the sight.
"Annoyed? Nah, this is adorable." He said, smirking and taking a step towards Ryan. Ryan opened his mouth to respond, but instead just licked his lips and closed them again. "You've covered in flour." He mused, brushing his hand across Ryan's cheek, feeling the heat under his palms. He lowered his hand, tracing across Ryan's jaw line.
"Is this okay?" He asked, feeling Ryan freeze under his touch. He glanced up, meeting Ryan's eyes and grinning when the other man nodded. Geoff wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. He nibbled at Ryan's lips, walking forward and pushing Ryan up against the counter where the kiss turned predatory, and he bit down harder, enjoying the strangled gasp that escaped Ryan's mouth before he started kissing back more furiously, eagerly searching for more.
He broke the kiss, glancing momentarily behind him and seeing Jack watching the action with intent eyes. Ryan was breathing heavily, his eyes darting toward Jack, lips slightly parted. Geoff gestured for Jack to join them.
"You okay with this?" Jack asked, turning towards Ryan who was still leaning back against the counter, looking completely and utterly wrecked. Ryan nodded, wetting his lips and moaning delightfully as Jack approached him.
Geoff stood back for a moment, enjoying the sight as Jack grabbed Ryan's hands and pushed him back further against the counter before claiming his mouth in a bruising kiss. But Geoff could only watch for so long before he slid up beside Jack, nudging him aside to nibble down Ryan's neck, his own hands reaching up under Ryan's shirt and exploring the muscled torso, flicking his thumb across one of his erect nipples and taking note when Ryan shuddered, groaning loudly and bucking further into the touch.
And then there was a loud cough behind them. All three of them froze, before quickly taking a hurried step away from each other and spinning on the spot to see Ray standing in the living room, where he had full sight of the kitchen. The younger man was chewing on his bottom lip, eyebrow quirked dramatically as he stared at them questioningly.
"So...um, can you not have sex in the kitchen? That's where food is prepared guys, don't be unhygienic." Ray mumbled hurriedly, dragging his lips into something that resembled a smirk.
"We weren't having sex." Geoff pointed out, focusing all his energy on not turning a dark shade of red like his companions.
"Right." Ray commented sardonically.
"I think we might need to have a talk about this." Jack suggested with a sigh, running a weary hand through his beard. Ray raised an eyebrow.
"I'd rather not hear the intricate details."
"Not like that! Jesus..." Jack huffed.
"You're the one wanting to talk about their gay threeway!" Ray pointed out.
"It's actually technically a fourway." Ryan piped up, ducking his head as they all turned to stare at him.
"Okay, maybe we should have a talk." Ray agreed, eyes wide.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You guys were making out without me! Weak." Gavin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, or at least attempting to, but his injured arm were merely jostled slightly before falling still and making the whole gesture look incredibly awkward.
"Shut up idiot." Geoff grumbled. Michael and Ray were simply staring at them, dumbfounded. They had all gathered in what was now more or less Gavin's room to talk about the massive gay elephant in the room, and Geoff honestly was starting to think it would have been less painful to have just shot himself in the face.
"So you guys are in an open relationship?" Michael said slowly, brows furrowed together in a way that actually looked painful.
"I mean, we haven't exactly put a label on it, but yeah I guess." Jack answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well I guess it's actually more just polygamous, considering we aren't open to just anyone." Jack amended quickly.
"And it's not a sex thing?" Michael continued. They all shock their heads more or less simultaneously. "And you're what...asking us for a blessing?" Michael asked, blinking in confusion.
"We're just making sure everyone is on the same page." Jack replied.
"I mean, I don't care. Congrats or whatever." Michael said with a shrug. Ray sat behind him thoughtfully.
"Yeah me neither." Ray added, glancing towards them as if waiting for an objection. Geoff looked at Jack, waiting for the other man, who had unofficially become the current spokesperson for their relationship, to say something.
"Well, okay." Jack said after a moment, huffing and getting to his feet. "I guess that settles that. Let's never talk about it again."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Despite what he said, Michael wasn’t sure how exactly he was meant to feel about the relationship. Part of him was of course happy for them, they were his friends and he had watched Jack and Geoff dance around each other for years, but on the other hand…the whole polygamy thing just seemed rushed. Michael prided himself on being open minded, and he accepted the relationship fine but it had just sort of came out of nowhere.
He leaned back against the sofa where he had absentmindedly been watching Ray play video games whilst the others were busy making out or doing whatever in Gavin’s room. Ray was playing intently, with his tongue poking out in concentration as his onscreen character stalked around, warily searching out enemies to kill. For someone who had been unable to play video games for years, he was able to fall back into the swings of things within minutes.
A few moments later he heard a door open, followed by the sudden burst of chatter and laughter, before Gavin hobbled excitedly into the room, leaning heavily upon Geoff’s shoulder but seeming immune to the physical strain as he beamed up at the older man. Behind them Ryan stood next to Jack, their bodies pressing together, whilst Jack slipped their hands together in a way that he probably thought was subtle.
He stiffened as the others sailed into the living room, shifting further up against the arm rest of the couch, convincing himself that he was just trying to make room. Ray didn’t seem to mind the abrupt intrusion, if anything the younger man seemed to relax, smiling up at the others and leaning happily into Gavin when the other man was plonked practically on his lap.
Michael narrowed his eyes, ignoring the general conversation going on around him, which rapidly engaged Ray who even turned his attention away from the video game to say some comment that had the others all laughing, their eyes twinkling as they looked at the younger man, and Michael watched with a sickening bout of realisation as Ray leaned into the gentle touches as Gavin nuzzled himself up against him, as Geoff stood behind, strong hands clasping his shoulder, with Ryan at his feet and Jack on his other side, and Ray was beaming, was seeking them out as much as they seemed to be seeking him out.
Michael got up suddenly, muttering something about having a headache, and rapidly left the living room which had quickly become claustrophobic. This was stupid. He was stupid. But they were more stupid, they were moving too fast, wanting more than they should, and they were going to crash and burn because that’s what happened to people who got involved in relationships without thinking about the consequences, just focusing on the here and now and the temporary pleasure as though it was worth the years of heartache and pain.
And he realised, with a sinking feeling, that he really didn’t want to wait around and see that happened. He stood in the cramped spare room, breathing heavily as he stared at his meagre belongings that were littered carelessly around the small space. Without taking the time to dwell on his thoughts he started to grab what belonged to him and stuffing it into his rucksack that had sat neglected for days
There was a gentle knock on the door, which was altogether pointless, considering the door was wedged open by the bed that was too big for this room. He turned his head, not able to help glaring as Ray took a step in, and then hesitated, realising there really wasn’t the space for the both of them. Michael turned back to what he was doing and zipped up his rucksack.
“What are you doing?” Ray asked, something hesitant in his voice as he stared at the rucksack. Michael refused to meet his eyes.
“What does it look like?” Michael snapped. Ray pursed his lips. “I’m going on a nice little vacation because I have so much spare money laying around, what the fuck do you think I’m doing Ray, really!?”
“Why? I thought you were happy here…” Ray pressed, hand clenching at the shirt that hung loosely from his thin hips.
“Oh come off it Ray. It was fine when we were all friends and what not, but now this is getting ridiculous.” Michael scoffed, brushing a hand through his curls, and shuffling his weight restlessly as Ray continued to stand in the way.
“I don’t understand. Since when do you care?” Ray asked, a trace of vulnerability softening the otherwise interrogation-esque question.
“Since they keep looking at you like the way they were doing in the living room!” Michael snapped, taking a threatening step forward, prepared to push Ray out of the way if he remained silent.
“They look at you the same way.” Ray said quietly. Michael blinked, rage momentarily smothered by shock. “If it is an invitation, it’s an invitation to the both of us.”
“Well more reason to leave.” Michael grumbled bitterly. Ray looked surprised. “What, do you honestly think I want to be part of this? I’m happy for them I am, but this relationship is going too fast, they’re not thinking things through and they’re going to get hurt.”
“You know, not all relationships end in pain.” Ray retorted defiantly. Michael levelled him with a glare, knowing that if it was anyone else he would have already started throwing punches by now.
“Why take the risk.” Michael muttered, pushing past Ray and ready to leave without a word of goodbye to any of the others. He didn’t expect Ray to grab him with a ferocity he did not think the other man capable of, and drag him back into the room to then pin him against the door.
“You fucking dysfunctional sack of shit!” Ray hissed, an anger blazing in his eyes that was completely foreign and made Michael fall still in shock, rather than push the smaller man off like he wanted. “You’re so fucking scared of believing that anyone could love you and mean it that you’d rather run away and leave behind everyone you care about just on the off chance you might get hurt, you selfish prick!”
“Ray, what that…” Michael grunted, pressing his hands up against Ray’s chest and surprised at the resistance he found.
“You don’t get to decide whether other people are worth the risk. You can’t just form relationships with people and then up and leave without a goddamn word. Do you know how we’d feel? Do you even care, or are you too wrapped up in your own self-esteem issues and fear that you don’t even notice that other people fucking care for you, that other people actually might love you!” Ray yelled, his voice tapering off into a breathless pant, his chest heaving and emotions decorating his features. Michael stared at him. He’d never seen the other, usually laid back man, so worked up, so…desperate.
“Do you love me?” He asked, flinching at the words as they came out in a half choke, barely loud enough to hear but he knew Ray had heard. Could see the moment he understood the question enter his eyes, and he released Michael then, taking a step back, the back of his knees hitting against the bed with a soft grunt.
“Ray?” He pressed, regretting it immediately as the bitterness descended on the other man’s face.
“What does it matter? I’m not worth the risk.” Ray growled, pushing past him furiously and hesitating at the door for only a moment. “Go ahead and run away again, what do I care…” He muttered, storming off, his footsteps heavy as he ran down the stairs. Michael stared after him, knowing that he should be doing something but just frozen to the spot.
After a moment he huffed, adjusting the straps of the rucksack where they had become tangled, and creeping down the stairs quietly. He stared at the living room, where he could still hear the light conversation and wondered if that was where Ray had retreated and whether he should go and talk this out…but the more he stood here the more profound his feeling of isolation from the group. He bit his lower lip and walked to the front door, leaving the small, familiar house without a sound.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ray hated himself. He wanted to hate Michael, but he couldn’t, because whenever he thought about the other man he became achingly aware of the abrupt melancholy that had descended on the house over the last few days and his own resulting hollowness. He curled up alone on the couch, his chin resting on the top of his knees as he stared bitterly at the empty room.
Geoff and Jack had gone to their shift. Even Ryan had had to leave to go to work, leaving him alone with Gavin, who had developed a slight cough that had Jack restricting him to bed rest. Ray thought about perhaps being a better person, and going to at least sit with Gavin, but he was sick of the stares of pity from the others.
This was technically their fault anyway. If they hadn’t started flirting, pushing at them to join their bloody polygamous relationship Michael wouldn’t have got scared. At least the others were also feeling the strain of Michael’s absence, but that didn’t bring him much satisfaction. It was probably a dick move to blame the others anyway, but Ray didn’t exactly care at the moment.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had spent more than a night without Michael by his side. They’d been together for a couple of years now and that was how it should always be. Fuck, how could Michael just leave? And without him? Michael hadn’t even asked him to come with him! Michael probably hated him right now anyway.
The landline rung. He sighed, stretching across the couch to where it was plopped up on the side table.
“Hello?” He said, rubbing at his eyes wearily. He already knew that it was Geoff. The man had been calling at pretty much the same time every night since Michael left.
“Hey Ray…” Geoff responded quietly. Ray suppressed a sigh. He knew what that tone of voice meant. “He didn’t turn up today either.” Geoff said, and that was one thing he appreciated about the older man, his directness. No attempt to beat around the bush, or gloss up the facts, they were just the truth and nothing but.
“He’s probably left town by now then.” Ray mused, his lips curling downwards.
“I don’t think he would just leave like that.” Geoff replied stubbornly. Ray hummed but said nothing. “How’s Gavin doing?” Geoff asked, changing the subject with a sigh.
“He’s still coughing.” Ray answered. He’d heard the younger man coughing throughout the day, albeit it in isolated bursts.
“Have you actually talked to him today?” Geoff pushed. Ray grunted vaguely. “Ray you’re not doing yourself any good by isolating everyone else.” He continued. Ray didn’t respond. “Listen, I’ve got to get back to work. At least try to distract yourself. Bye Ray.”
“Yeah, bye.” He said, hanging up without another word and ignoring the spike of guilt within him. He knew it wasn’t Geoff’s fault, but he couldn’t handle the way everyone was treating him like breakable glass.
He cursed quietly to himself, swinging his feet underneath him and standing up, pacing restlessly for a few minutes. He knew what he wanted to do; what he had wanted to do since Michael left. He frowned, grabbing his worn purple hoodie that was tangled up with a bunch of clothes on the armchair after Geoff had done the laundry. He wrapped it round himself, trying to ignore the way it now smelled familiar, the trace of the others wafting around him.
He opened the front door, blinking against the cold as he took a step out. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to ignore the pinpricks of cold that prickled at his cheeks. He’d been off the streets for far too long if he was already affected by the weather. He almost jumped a mile when he heard the crunch of gravel behind him, followed by the wheeze of heaving breathing.
“Where are you going?” Gavin asked, his eyes narrowed as he hobbled further out. Ray took a step towards him instinctively, watching with concern as the Brit stumbled and swayed on his single crutch.
“Dude, go back inside.” Ray ordered, trying to usher the other man back into the house. Gavin clenched his jaw, remaining fixed on the spot, unable to be moved without risk of hurting him.
“Where are you going?” Gavin repeated, pushing forward a few more steps that almost had him hurtling face forward had it not been for Ray hovering worriedly by his side.
“I’m just going for a walk, go back inside, seriously dude you’re going to get hurt.”
“No, I’m going with you.” Gavin retorted stubbornly, a deep uncharacteristic frown etched onto his face. Ray glared at him, the howl of the bitterly cold wind seeming to back up his point. Gavin just glared back.
“I’m going to look for Michael, okay?” Ray admitted, rubbing a hand down his face wearily. Gavin blinked, but remained stubbornly still. “It’s fucking freezing dude, you’re going to get pneumonia or something.” He exclaimed, pushing on the other man’s uninjured shoulder. Gavin squeaked, grabbing the edge of the door and managing to slam it shut before falling on it with a satisfied glint in his eyes.
“It’s just a mingey little cough. If you’re going I’m also going.” Gavn replied. Ray glared at him.
“You know neither of us actually have a key to get back in right.” He pointed out, eyes fixed on the shut door. Gavin frowned, glancing behind him to the door, before his mouth parted in silent realisation.
“Oh…Well, I guess now I have to come with you. That was my plan all along.” Gavin smirked, straightening up painfully slowly as his crutch scrambled for purchase over the frosted ground.
“I should just leave you here.” Ray muttered. Gavin squawked, moving forward suddenly and once again almost toppling. Ray rolled his eyes, grabbing the Brit around the waist and acting as an additional crutch to lean on. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
“Aww, Ray…” Gavin whined, as they stumbled out of the driveway, latched awkwardly onto each other. Ray huffed, torn between hurrying them along and making sure that Gavin wasn’t putting too much strain on his body. “Where are you planning to look then?”
“Places we usually sleep.” Ray explained. He did have the fleeting suspicion that Michael had indeed taken the few days to leave the town entirely, or that he would be deliberately avoiding their usual hang-outs, but he didn’t bother to communicate this to Gavin. Either the Brit had already thought it himself, or at least he could be spared the worry of thinking it.
Gavin hummed in acknowledge, trying and failing to supress a yawn that strained his entire features. Ray could feel the cold that had already seeped into the other man’s bones, could feel the icy skin which was now pimpled with goosebumps. Ray sighed, removing his own hoodie and placing it over Gavin’s back who then managed to fumble his way half into it.
“Thanks.” Gavin murmured, wrapping the loose sleeve over his bandaged arm like a blanket.
“You should be in bed. Jack is going to kill me.” Ray grumbled, scuffing the front of his shoes across the gravel, irritated. He felt bad for thinking it, but he really wished that he was alone, just so he could move faster at the very least. He could see that Gavin was making an effort, but this was probably the furthest he’d walked in two weeks and the exhaustion was obviously in his drawn and sweat sheened features.
It was quiet out tonight. Most sane people had hidden away from the bitter elements that now nipped eagerly at their exposed skin. At least in Texas it didn’t tend to snow, even in the midst of winter. When he had been in New York when he first found himself on the street the snow had been the worst. Snow is no longer fun and enchanting when it freezes your limbs and dampens your clothes.
They eventually managed to hobble into the first maze of alleyways that he had been keen to search. This was not typically a place people slept, there was no real shelter here for one thing, either from the winds or the rain. No large dumpsters or overhanging doorways to cower beneath. But it was one that was well-trodden by all manners of people who found themselves on the street at night. It was possible they might find Michael, or at least someone who had seen him hovering nearby.
He noticed that Gavin had fallen abnormally quiet. He would have assumed it was just tiredness, or perhaps the melancholy atmosphere that weighed down on them, that stilled his otherwise over-eager tongue. But he realised that the further they walked the more the other man pressed up against his side. Ray glanced up at him, tilting his head with faint concern at the way Gavin’s eyes darted rapidly through the alley whilst he chewed nervously on his bottom lip.
“Are you okay?” Ray asked, despite the fact he had somewhat been enjoying the silence. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy Gavin’s company, he just wanted to focus on the current task at hand was. Gavin startled at his voice, glancing down at him with a shaky smile.
“Yeah. I’m top.” He said, almost believably. Ray narrowed his eyes.
“If you’re having trouble we can always rest for a moment…” Ray suggested. Gavin shook his head vigorously.
“No. I’d rather we keep moving.” He replied stiffly. Ray quirked an eyebrow.
“Are you scared?” He asked carefully. Gavin pursed his lips, seeming eager to ignore the question as he tried to push on but Ray forced them to come to a stop. “That probably wouldn’t be abnormal considering what happened.” He added, voice softening.
“It’s stupid. I’m not scared.” Gavin grumbled, clawing at the loose strands that had been pulled away from his jacket absentmindedly. “I’m just a bit cautious, is all.”
“You’ve never really talked about the incident.” Ray continued, allowing them to keep moving, if only for Gavin to stop looking like a restless and abused puppy. Gavin grunted in vague acknowledgement. “You know you can talk to us about it, right?” He offered hesitantly.
“I just want to move on from it really.” Gavin shrugged, frowning as the motion clearly jogged his injured shoulder. “I’m not scared. Not really. Just a bit on edge. It’ll fade. It’s like the first day you walk to school by yourself, it feels all dangerous but you get used to it because eventually you learn that the chances of anything happening are pretty slim so you just get on with it.” Gavin expanded, brows furrowed together slightly.
“What about you, how are you feeling?” Gavin added, abruptly staring down at him questioningly. Ray blinked at him, stretching his neck from side to side until he heard a satisfied pop as he contemplated his answer.
“I want Michael back.” He said simply.
“In what way?” Gavin asked, pulling the hoodie tighter around himself as another gust of wind managed to pierce through the urban landscape. “I mean, like do you want a relationship with him as well?”
“I don’t really give a fuck to be honest. I just want my friend back.” Ray muttered with a shrug. “We’re friends before anything else. I don’t care what happens romantically as long as that remains the same.”
Gavin hummed in acceptance and they descended back into silence. There clearly didn’t seem to be many people out today, although they could distantly hear the low moan of chatter through the walls which crisscrossed the maze of alleyways. They turned down another alley in that direction, heading to where there was more possibility of shelter.
“I still don’t get why he left.” Gavin said after a moment, a deep frown etched on his face. Ray glanced at him, grunting vaguely but otherwise remaining silent. “I mean, I thought we were friends…like, why didn’t he come to us if he was uncomfortable?” Gavin continued, a low distressed note entering his tone.
“Because that’s not what Michael does.” Ray retorted. Gavin looked at him, confusion sprinkled across his face. “He doesn’t trust people, Gavin. It’s a bloody miracle he let you into his life so quickly, but that was probably more to do with my influence than anything else.”
“He must know we’d never knowingly hurt him…”
“Look, he hasn’t had the best experience with people. Lots of shitty people talked bullshit to him about trust in the past so it doesn’t come easy now.” Ray huffed, pausing a moment to run a hand through his hair that had been blown onto his face and was now annoyingly tickling his forehead. “It’s not my story to tell though.” He added, somewhat defensively.
“But why so suddenly? There must have been something that happened that made him uncomfortable?” Gavin pressed, breathing heavily as he swayed, his knuckles white where they were tightly gripping the crutch. He looked about ready to pass out.
“I dunno. You guys and your relationship probably…” He trailed off, feeling a stab of guilt at Gavin’s hurt expression. “Not in the way you’re thinking. It’s just, I suggested you guys were showing interest in him, and I think that freaked him. He’s scared of being hurt again.”
“Oh…I mean, I guess that makes more sense…” Gavin mumbled, breaking off into a cough that was followed by a wince. Ray frowned at him. They probably should head back. Except they didn’t have the keys to the house, so they’d have to go to the shelter first. He didn’t want to give up, but he was just chasing shadows at the moment, and Gavin was freezing his tits off, which was in no way going to help the cold he had developed.
There was the sudden thud of hurried footsteps and he barely had time to turn before he was pushed violently to the side. He stumbled, regaining his footing quicker than he thought possible, a cold fear gripping him as he heard Gavin’s pained grunt. Ray glared, wide eyed at the culprit.
“Give me your fucking money right now!” The attacker yelled, strong arms wrapped tight around Gavin’s throat in an unrelenting grip that was clearly painful as it held him securely in place. Ray swallowed, meeting Gavin’s panicked eyes and feeling a low thrum of hysteria building up inside of him.
“I don’t have any money…” He claimed, lifting his arms up in surrender and trying to ignore the way his voice shook. The man seemed to almost snarl, but there was a flash of movement beside them and suddenly his grip on Gavin was released. The Brit stumbled, sinking against the grimy wall and slumping downwards, chest heaving as he watched the scene play out.
The would-be assailant was punched across the face. The man took a few winded steps back, only to be hit with a deft uppercut that split his lip open with a drizzle of blood. His shirt collar was grabbed, and Michael- and oh dear god, it was Michael, fucking Michael- pulled the man in, having pure advantage of strength if not height.
“You don’t fucking touch them you absolute scum, get the fuck out of here or I swear to god I will kill you!” Michael hissed, his face burning red as he sneered at the other man. He pushed the man away, fists clenched tightly to his side, seething as he watched the wannabe thief quickly retreat into the shadows of the alley.
There was a moment of silence then. He could hear the others breathing; Gavin was still slumped on the floor, and Ray doubted he’d be able to clamber to his feet without help, and his chest was heaving rapidly as if his heart itself was trying to escape. Michael was glaring, his nostrils flaring as he stared down the path the man had escaped too, clearly wanting to follow.
He stared at Michael, shock eventually being overtook by reason as he realised with a sick feeling of betrayal that Michael must have been watching them. There was no way that Michael had just mysteriously appeared. He gritted his teeth, meeting Michael’s eyes as the man eventually turned back to them, taking some degree of satisfaction in the sudden guilt that flashed in the other man’s eyes.
“How long?” He asked, not bothering to clarify. Michael scuffed his feet against the ground, shifting restlessly.
“Not that long.” Michael answered quietly, something almost shy in it now. “I heard you guys coming from almost a mile away. You’re bloody loud when you’re limping around and making noise all over the joint.” Michael added, his gaze drifting towards Gavin who was looking up at him dumbfounded.
“What are you doing out here?” Michael questioned, kneeling beside Gavin and placing a hand on the other man’s knee. Gavin blinked, seeming to snap out of the numb state that he’d fallen into. Michael passed him the crutch, his hand lingering against Gavin’s for a moment longer than necessary.
“Looking for you, you numpty! Where the hell did you go, boi?” Gavin retorted, eyes earnestly searching Michael’s expression.
“The guys are worried about you as well.” Ray said, coming to stand beside the two men. “They miss you.” He added softly. Michael averted his gaze, suddenly finding the ground a lot more interesting.
“I heard a bit of what you were saying.” Michael admitted after a moment, a sigh tracing his words. “I…I’m not really good with this stuff guys…”
“You don’t have to be.” Gavin intercepted, leaning forward and resting his hand on top of Michael’s. “We’re not going to hurt you. We love you. And if you don’t want to be part of the relationship, that’s fine. We respect you, we want you as a friend first and we want to know you’re safe. We never want to do anything to upset you, but please don’t just leave without a word…please Michael, I missed you boi…”
Michael ducked his head, and there was an honest to god blush decorating his face and making his faint freckles even more pronounced. Ray gazed at him fondly, and mostly hopefully, because he wanted Michael to come back to them. But part of him knew that Michael didn’t have it in him to actually say the words
.
“Do you want to come back with us?” Ray asked softly. Michael glanced at him, a small but thankful smile on his face as he nodded. Gavin grinned, grabbing the other man into a hug and succeeding only in pulling Michael down onto his lap with a soft grunt. Michael twisted out of his grip, but a small bubble of laughter managed to escape him as he slowly stood up, carefully helping to hoist a giggling Gavin back to his feet.
“We have to go to the shelter to get the keys of Geoff and Jack. They’ll be happy to see you.” Ray explained. Michael nodded, but looked faintly nervous. Ray smiled softly, brushing up against the other man’s side and tentatively reaching out a hand. He couldn’t help the burst of excitement and joy that stormed through him as Michael gripped his hand tightly. Michael then wrapped his other hand around Gavin’s waist, slotting the Brit into his side perfectly. Gavin smiled, nuzzling his head into Michael’s neck as he sighed happily.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It was weird at first. Lots of careful touches, and even more careful kisses, that eventually worked up to something more forceful, more eager as Michael opened up more. Kissing Ray felt like something he had done before. Kissing the others felt like something fresh, like meeting a guy in a bar and hitting it off. It was full of electricity and uncertainty.
“Listen buddy, we don’t want to pressure you into anything. But this house is your home now okay, and you don’t need to leave because of something we’re doing. It doesn’t matter to us if you don’t want to be romantically involved as long as you’re happy.” Geoff had said, whilst they all sat around the living room, huddled together in anticipation, all feeling the spark of change in the atmosphere. Ray had been soothingly caressing his wrist the whole time, like he was some spooked animal, but he didn’t have it in him to be annoyed at the time.
He didn’t think he’d have been able to make the choice without Ray there. As pitifully sad as it was, Ray was his safety blanket. Ray was the one he went to when he felt overwhelmed, because Ray understand him in a bond strengthened through time the others had not had the chance to form.
But it didn’t take him long to find out that Jack could strings words of comfort together with a soothing ease. And that Geoff gave the best hugs, and the most amazing back rubs. The two of them together stilled his racing mind when the fears got too much. He didn’t even have to talk and they would understand what he needed.
And Gavin…Gavin was fucking amazing in a way that he’d probably never admit to the other man. He was awful at video games, and said the most ridiculously stupid things, but he was amazing and beautiful and wonderful and Michael had never felt such a pull towards another being. Gavin was intoxicating. He was funny, and had this cute, high pitched laugh that made his eyes crinkle and shine, despite the pain laughing caused his bruised ribs. And when he’d managed to get pulled into a contract for filming with an old friend, Michael couldn’t have been more proud.
Ryan was perhaps the most surprising. He’d never really considered the other man humorous before, but god, the comments he made, a perfect mix of snarky and hilarious, that would have them all wheezing. And he found that Ryan was actually pretty good at video games and fun to play with through the sheer destruction he caused and it was refreshing to have someone else to rage with. And gradually, he became more and more fond of the other man until he realised he loved him just as much as the others. And Ryan had noticed, his eyes had started to shine brighter and he would take every chance to just touch him, and would murmur encouragements to him that would have sounded ridiculous coming from anyone else. And it was Ryan who convinced him he was smart enough to try to get an electrician apprenticeship, despite his limited education. And for once in his life, he’d actually believed he had the ability. And he’d been proven right.
“If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But you won’t lose us as friends.” Ray had whispered, as they had sat huddled in the small spare room, his own thoughts whirling as he wrestled with an impossible decision.
And it was weird. Because it was like a puzzle piece coming together; the parts were all there, but you couldn’t quite believe it. It was like destiny, except he didn’t believe in that crap. He had the nagging fear in the back of his head that things couldn’t be so perfect, and he supposed that was true. After a while real life had slammed back into them like a brick, and Jack and Geoff had been made redundant after the shelter finally closed. But they managed to get by. Ray got a job. Gavin had money coming in. Ryan started to help pay the pills. And they got through it.
“I was scared when Gavin was hurt. I was furious when you were threatened. I hated myself when I hurt Ryan. I sought Jack out all the time. I relied on Geoff when shit was going down. And I missed you all.” Michael had mused, mostly to himself than Ray who had watched him whilst his face had been marred with concentration.
He’d barely realised how much time had passed, how long their relationship had been going on for, until Gavin had been fully recovered. And that brought a whole new element, because Gavin, without a crutch, without a broken ankle, bruised ribs and injured shoulder was equivalent to a hyper-active five year old, especially after all the bed rest he’d been forced to bear. But it was somehow more exciting, not irritating, despite having a lanky British man swinging in his lap, to have Gavin so excitable, so eager to make up for all the times he hadn’t been able to just plonk himself on top of them when he was feeling tactile. And it was amazing, to feel so loved and so thankful that this stupid idiot had recovered without permanent injury. Because Gavin deserved to be happy and Michael wanted him to be. Michael yearned for all of them to be happy with an intensity that both shocked and invigorated him.
He’d crept down the stairs that day with Ray by his side. He hadn’t been at all surprised to find the others still in the living room. They probably would have waited there all night for him to make his decision. And he’d appreciated it, when they all had carefully controlled themselves, when they looked up at him with nothing expectant in their face, as if it had just been a normal night.
And then he had said probably the only words in his life that he had not regretted one bit since;
Summary: Little snapshots into Ryan's life chatting with Gavin and Meg as he falls into a relationship with them.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3199
1.
-
Ryan hesitated before he clicked to accept the video call. A box popped up with an image of Meg’s face looking expectantly straight at the camera. She was so close to her webcam all of her face wasn’t in frame, and it made him jump a little. His shock must have been the reaction she was hoping for because she let out a witchy little cackle before she leaned back in her seat.
“Hi,” he said hesitantly.
Honestly Ryan wasn’t sure what he should have expected exchanging skype information with his coworker. He liked Meg, sure. That much was obvious. They talked all the time at work, went off on tangents sharing stories and trying to impress each other with jokes on and off their show. They hit it off so immediately their closeness was a running office joke. That last part – the knowledge of how other people viewed their relationship – made Ryan careful to put up careful boundaries and not ask Meg to do much outside of work. He didn’t want her to think he was being inappropriate.
Especially when she already had a boyfriend. “Hi Ryan!” Gavin leaned into the shot over Meg’s shoulder to beam. “Stop being a hermit. Come out and stretch your wings with us!”
“Uh…” Ryan flicked his eyes up to the lens of his webcam to properly convey his disbelieving look. “Is that why you messaged me? You could have just texted.”
“You’re right! I have your number. I could…” Gavin squeaked gleefully, vanishing behind Meg’s dark folded wing just as suddenly as he had appeared.
Off behind Ryan he could hear his phone buzz as it vibrated on his nightstand. Even though he was pretty sure it was just Gavin he excused himself to check. “I’ll be right back, Meg.”
Then he had to be careful not to knock anything over as he turned and crossed his bedroom in three steps. His apartment was nice, if cramped. The location and the great balcony he could enter and exit his home from more than made up for the fact that he was constantly forgetting himself since he felt so loose and comfortable in his own space and knocking shit over. To be fair the same probably would have happened anywhere whether he lived in a shoebox or a goddamn mansion. He was a large man with what he felt was an overly large wingspan like some kind of ungainly land-locked albatross. (Lamps I through IV never stood a chance against sleepy Ryan; he would remember their sacrifices forever.)
When he managed to cross the room and sit back down phone in hand without so much as bumping a bookshelf, Ryan felt like doing a little celebratory dance in his seat. Maybe the only message he’d received was a cheeky little text from Gavin that read “ryan i’m texting you!” but the real reward was the fact that he hadn’t made a complete idiot of himself in front of a friend.
“Haywood,” Meg said pensively, steepling her fingers in front of her face like a cartoon villain. Well. Maybe he was been wrong.
“Huh?” he looked up to see her serious face cracking into a smile and then frantically around his room to see what she could possibly be laughing at him about. Was his room a mess? No. Were his feathers sticking out at odd angles? No more than Gavin’s formed an unruly mess Ryan fingers itched with the desire to groom back into place on a daily basis.
What was it?
“When did you get home?” Meg asked, face carefully blank.
“Uh, about a half hour ago? Maybe? Why?” Now Ryan was really getting paranoid. What did he do? Did he forget something at work? Was he supposed to be at a shoot? Meg looked so smug that she knew something he didn’t. Why did enjoy the way she made him squirm under her gaze?
“Gavin’s right. I wanted to call to see what you were up to. We’re meeting some people from work for dinner tonight. We’d love if you stopped by! It looks like you’re settled in for the night though. So tell me, do you take your pants off as soon as you get home? Just like–” Meg mimed slipping off clothes and making a loud zipping sound as best she could sitting down.
Ryan looked down with horror at his lap clad only in boxer-briefs. Had she–? She’d seen– Why did his new, nice clothes have to fit so snugly?
“Aww don’t be sad. Your underwear is cute! At least you didn’t get caught out on a frumpy panties day.” Meg laughed. “Do dudes have days like that? I mean, obviously you don’t have periods you wear your third-best underwear for since you don’t care if that shit gets ruined, but like do you just wear old underwear because you’re not really feeling up to your best?
“I do still have a lot of old, stretched out underwear I haven’t thrown away yet,” Ryan mused, getting sucked into a conversation despite himself. “I think when you reach a certain point new stuff feels nicer so I only really wear those when I haven’t done laundry in too long. It’s more like a penance that way.”
-
2.
-
“Ryan, why don’t you have an iPhone? Do you enjoy having an old piece of shit phone? Oh! Oh, I get it! That’s how you get out of hanging out with us.”
With a sigh, Ryan marked his page with a finger and looked up at his laptop on the pillow next to him. “My phone is fine, Gavin. I hang out with you! I’m just not interested in drinking or going outside in general. Have you seen my skin, Gavin?” Ryan lifted arm up to his laptop. “This ghostly pallor needs careful maintenance. You’ve got a fucking golden tan. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” He punctuated his disdain with a sulky flap of his wings to get them resettled behind him in bed.
“That’s not healthy! You need to stretch your wings.” To demonstrate Gavin stretched his wings out fully where he sat at Meg’s desk. They weren’t fully in frame. Ryan just knew what was happening. He could tell by the set of Ryan’s shoulders, the angle of his the monstrous feather dusters attached to Gavin’s back.
Maybe Ryan spent a little more time noticing Gavin’s wings than he should have. It was just under the sympathetic itchiness he felt looking at Gavin’s feathers all sticking out at the wrong angles Gavin had really nice wings. They were strong enough to support him through deft turns and some clumsy aerial acrobatics famously made graceful with slow motion cinematography when Ryan wasn’t sure how well he’d do soaring short distances even if he took off from a tall building with wind currents to help him out. Ryan felt like he was too woefully soft and out of shape to dream of keeping up.
“Did you want to talk for a reason? I’m going to go back to reading if you don’t have anything important to say.” Ryan pointedly opened his book back up. “If you want to watch for some reason that’s on you.”
“Ryan, no! You have to entertain me while Turney is away. This is my only chance to have you all to myself. When she comes back she’ll steal you away from me.” The tiny Gavin in the window on Ryan’s screen pouted exaggeratedly.
“Excuse me?”
“What are you wearing?” Gavin asked, just compounding Ryan’s confusion. “Turney said you gave her a cheeky little show when she skyped you last, and I missed it.”
Oh.
Wait, what? “Do you– Are you trying to get me to show you my underwear?”
“What’s your book about? Talk to me,” Gavin said, snuggling down and folding his wings around himself as best he could still sitting.
-
3.
-
“Ryan, I’m so sorry. We’re so sorry!” Meg blurted before Ryan could even say hello.
“Meg, it’s–” He tried to cut in but she talked over him.
“We’re so so sorry. I just–” Meg turned to Gavin seated closely beside her and waited until he nodded and grabbed her hand in silent support before turning back to Ryan on her screen. “Gav and I thought you were on the same page. We like you a lot, and if you’re cool with it, we’d like to date you. I thought you were giving me signals. I’m sorry.”
“I encouraged her. I thought you were flirting back with us,” Gavin chimed in, wings drooping at a pitiful angle.
They both sounded so remorseful Ryan just had to smile at how much they cared about his feelings. He held up a hand to stop the couple before they could start in on another round of apologies. “Meg. Gavin. It’s okay. I’m not mad. I just– I need space. I need a little time to think about it. Is that okay?”
“Of course that’s okay!” Meg said at the same time Gavin groaned out a “Jesus! We’re not monsters.”
Ryan’s cheeks warmed up at their sincerity, their attention focused solely on him. He liked that they cared. Loved it actually, but he hadn’t been craving their attention. They were both beautiful and kind in their own ways even if Gavin liked to play at being aloof. Ryan was just so used to being single and focusing on projects he wanted to complete that someone he liked showing an interest in him shocked awake long dormant emotions.
“If you want you can tell me why you’re interested in me,” Ryan suggested with a chuckle.
He broke into full blown helpless laughter when Gavin and Meg both answered “your butt” at the same time and then looked at each other in surprise.
-
4.
-
Somehow skype calls with Meg and Gavin had become a regular thing for Ryan. It didn’t really make sense because they lived a short drive away, and he used to only use the messaging service to talk to family back home or far-flung friends he didn’t have much of a chance to meet with in person anymore. Still, Ryan appreciated that his new girlfriend and boyfriend were taking it slow. They were allowing him to come to them to prevent another fiasco like the Kissing Incident last month.
Ryan was more than willing to go to them, but first there was something he needed to do.
And it was a secret.
“I’m still not telling you.” Ryan reached over his shoulder to undo the snaps keeping his shirt in place around his wings. He dipped his head down, tucking his chin against his chest so Gavin and Meg couldn’t see his amused little grin.
They were both leaning in close to look at him in all his pasty glory. Suddenly he was struck with a strange wish that they could have seen him ten years ago back when he was really cute before he filled out and his hairline changed. Meg was a legitimate model who actually knew what she was doing, and Gavin was… Gavin. Ryan wasn’t really sure what he was doing.
“Your nips are looking pretty nice today,” Meg commented.
Ryan licked a finger and dragged it in a circle around his right nipple. “Yeah, they’re pretty hard.”
Meg’s face scrunched up with laughter. “Why did you lick your finger?”
“How much do we have to pay you to take it all off? You’re like a cam girl, Ryan,” Gavin added.
Ryan joined in this time as Meg started laughing so hard she couldn’t quite get out her question about how Gavin would know how streamed porn goes. Even as he was dying thinking about who would possibly want to watch him ham up pleasuring himself, Ryan actually thought about doing just that. It was actually seemed like it could be hot.
He looked directly at his webcam’s lens and fluttered his eyelashes. “Any requests?”
“Pants off!” Meg started chanting. “Pants off! Pants off!”
“Pants off? Do you mean pants pants or American pants?” Gavin’s eyes got a little wide.
Ryan pushed away from his desk and stood up to get his bottom half in the frame. He started humming and off-key little tune to a new chorus of surprised laughter, throwing in some swingy hip movements as he unzipped his pants. It was probably among the least sexy things Ryan had ever done and yet he could feel himself start to get excited. Gavin and Meg just looked so good helplessly giggling. They looked so fond it made him want to do something completely outrageous for them.
“Please never dance ever again,” Gavin wheezed.
“You are so white, Ry-Ry. You have no rhythm.” Meg pressed her face against Gavin’s shoulder. “Oh my god. I can’t wait to get you in a dance class for Free Play.”
“Oh?” Ryan pushed his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear teasingly for a moment. Then he just sat back down and scooted into place at his desk. “I guess you don’t want to see more. You want to play a game tonight?”
As Meg and Gavin talked over each other trying to beg him to continue, Ryan just crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned back in his chair to carefully stretch his wings.
-
5.
-
“You look tired, Gavin,” Ryan said even though he wasn’t really one to talk. He was lying on his stomach in bed with his laptop in front of him so he could watch Meg and Gavin with his chin propped on his folded arms. This time the two of them were in their own separate boxes because Meg was still in Texas and Gavin was away on a last minute shoot.
For the first time Ryan was feeling actual distance in his pseudo-long distance relationship. Waiting felt different when he knew he couldn’t just hop in his car and go to Gavin.
“I wish I was home. Everything’s going tits up and Dan is no help.” Gavin let out a frustrated sigh. “They flew me out here for no reason.”
“Aw, you’ll be back soon, baby.” Meg smiled softly. She was curled up in her desk chair and absently playing with one of her dark brown feathers that had fallen out.
Ryan could have been there with her.
He knew he could leave at any moment to spend the night with Meg and was sure she’d welcome him with open arms, but he didn’t want to go when Gavin wasn’t there too. At least not for his first time roosting at their house.
“When you come back…” Ryan started.
“Yeah?” Gavin prompted when Ryan got too distracted looking at his and Meg’s faces on his screen to continue his thought.
“When you come back I want to stay with you.” When both of their faces lit up Ryan hurriedly added, “For a few days maybe? If you’ll have me.”
Gavin just got more excited. “Ryan!”
“Oh if we’ll have you? ‘I’m Ryan Haywood. I don’t want to impose. I’m too much of a gentleman. I suddenly don’t remember any of the times you told me I’ve got an open invitation to spend the night with you whenever I want.’ Gee, Ryan, it’s not like we love you or anything like that.” Meg’s Ryan impression was getting worse if that was possible, but she had a point under the teasing.
“I love you and Gavin too.” Ryan closed his eyes and smiled, settling in to listen to his favorite people chatter.
-
+1 Time He Flew
-
Ryan raised his headphones off of his ears when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. “You leaving?”
“Yeah, coming over tonight or will I catch you on Skype?” Gavin asked, one hand on the door frame.
“No, let me shut down. I’ll fly home with you. I didn’t bring my car in today.”
If Gavin thought anything of the request he didn’t say anything. He waited for Ryan to finish up his work and make sure everything was carefully zipped away in his pockets. They found Meg on the stairs to the roof where most of the company took off and landed if they flew in so as not to clog up the parking lot like civilized individuals. She did a double take when she saw two boyfriends were approaching instead of one, but she didn’t say anything either.
Maybe they were the same as Ryan. When he was younger he liked the hush before a flight when his heart was pumping with the possibility he’d fail and his wings flexed to get a taste of open air before he jumped into the sky. Like most adults eventually he’d lost the taste for such freedom and had gotten used mostly using his wings to glide down from his apartment balcony to the street when he was too lazy to use the stairs.
In secret he trained for weeks building his wing muscles back up so he could fly with Gavin and Meg. They woke up so many long forgotten feelings that he figured he should share this with them too.
Ryan stretched his wings out to their full span and then folded them back up so he count out how many paces back he needed to take to get a running start towards the edge of the roof.
“Your wings are so big, Ryan,” Meg said as she twisted to stretch her shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you extend them all the way.”
“You know what they say about a large wingspan.” Gavin commented dryly.
“Nice slipstream?” Ryan could imagine it clearly as soon as he said it: all three of them flying in a small v-formation so his smaller lovers could take advantage of his bulk to let him do a little more of the work. It was the next best thing to having arms strong enough to carry them around so he could keep them tucked up close to his sides forever.
“No, big– wait, can we fly in your slipstream? That would be awesome!” Gavin darted over to give Ryan a hopeful kiss on the cheek. “Turney’s too small to keep up. She needs all the help she can get.”
Meg gasped. “Hey! Rude! Keep up with this, asshole!”
The two men on the roof watched Meg run and leap into the air in a flurry of feathers. After a slight dive she evened out and started gaining a little altitude. Her hair matched the sunset and her natural colored wings were like the coming night.
Gavin grinned at Ryan sidelong. His own take off was more reckless; he seemed to hurl himself into the air, but everyone always did joke Gavin was more bird than the rest of them with a beak like that. Where Meg steadily turned to take on the right course, Gavin jerked around in the sky trying his best to circle around her without knocking her out of the sky. Their laughter was caught in the wind, but Ryan was sure they were laughing. At least he was.
The sky called him, and he answered. His heart soared as his wings fought gravity to bear him away with his new loves.
Summary: -Ryan is leaving the space station for an exploration trip, Meg and Gavin however feel different to Ryan when it comes to the excitement of the trip.
Warnings: N/A
WordCount: 777
Ryan stared out solemnly into the abyss, the stars shining back into his eyes.
Life on the space station was boring, not much around to entertain yourself rather than the company around you, this is why he signed up to go on this mission, to gain some sense of adventure, much to the disappointment of his lovers.
Gavin and Meg were standing behind him, whispering to each other as Meg held onto his space helmet. Gavin was the station’s mechanic, the only one with the knowledge to help when problems arose on the ship, so when he heard about
Ryan was going on this mission into the unknown territory, he instantly volunteered to come along but was denied.
Meg was head of mission control, to her own pride, and new even before Gavin volunteered that they’d both be denied, so she just took him into her arms as they tried to support their lover.
“Now Ryan,” Meg began, clutching tightly onto his helmet, unwilling to let go. “Remember I’m always going to be on the other end of this microphone,” she tapped the area of the space helmet that contained his microphone, the technology that was soon to be his only connection to the other members aboard his ship. “If anything, and I mean anything, you talk to us about it.”
“And I will always be on call if you can’t remember one of the many things I told you about fixing your suit,” laughed Gavin, although Ryan could see the tears starting to form in his eyes. The night before Gavin had stayed up with Ryan, quizzing him on all the different things that could malfunction with the space suit and the best ways to fix them quickly and effectively. “One last question Ryan, what happens if you get the flashing red-“
Ryan silenced him with a kiss, his fingers tracing along Gavin’s face and whipping away the tears. “I’ll be fine Gav,” kissing Gavin again on the forehead he reached out to Meg, bringing his lovers into a big group hug. “It’s only going to be 264 sols that I’m going to be gone, surely you can enterain yourselves until then.”
“Apparently we didn’t entertain you enough to stay so how would we entertain ourselves.” Grumbled Meg, crossing her arms slightly.
They’d had this conversation multiple times, and each time it ended in the same way, Meg stomping away and Gavin distraught as he tried to choose a lover to comfort. “I don’t want to fight before I have to leave Meg and I told you it isn’t like that. I didn’t leave Earth to just sit on a space ship and calculate probabilities on what could happen if we navigate a certain way. I signed up to be an Astronaut for the adventure, and I never would want to hurt you two, but you know that this is something I need to do.”
Meg sighed, slowly joining back into the hug. “I’m just going to miss you Rye, so fucking much.”
“I know, and I’ll miss you too,”
A red flashing light began as a voice started announcing for all mission participants to report at their departure stations. “I guess that’s my cue to leave,” taking his helmet from Gavin after Meg has passed it too him in her state of anguish. “I love you both, and it’ll seem like I’ll be back in no time. You guys will get sick of me!”
Gavin laughed as he stood back with Meg, whipping the tears from under his eyes. “Go kick some alien butt Ryan! We believe in you!”
And with one last look back at his lovers, both of them standing together and trying to comfort the other, he took his step into departure module. Time, for adventure.
----
Sol 271:
“C’mon Turney hurry up!”
“Hold your horses, he’s not going anywhere!”
The two were running down the hallways, both trying to get to the docking stations as quick as possible. The mission had some delays, and instead of
Ryan coming back on Sol 264 they had no idea when he’d return.
“Gavin where’d you go!” Meg shouted after losing Gavin in the mass of people. Shoving people to the side she tried to catch up to her lover, finding him just standing still and staring in front of him. “What happened, why’d you-“she stopped as she looked up. There standing in front of them was Ryan, he had gained a lot of muscle on his journey, and he also had grown a small beard. His eyes held memories, and as they switched between his two lovers he started to tear up.
