#rainerkin

[fictionkinfessions]

being rainer and looking at the petscop tag as a source of comfort is really weird actually but i do it anyway. just like, wow thanks for making fanart of my vent game, i will cherish this and hug my tablet with this on it when i'm sad. thank you for drawing me in absolute distress, i am going to love this and you for the rest of eternally.

-💿🎁

x

[fictionkinfessions]

so i kinfirmed taco ii.

just in the worst way at the worst time.

so, for context, for these last two or so days, i have been having a mental breakdown over tapers and today the first part of the ii finale came out so i thought maybe watching the first part with my friends would help calm me down and stuff.

and then the pickle scene happened and kinfirmed i’m taco via pickle rejecting my apology and calling me stupid and you know, i really didn’t need to be called stupid by someone green when i am already basically having a breakdown so that’s just swell huh?

i haven’t finished the first part of the ii finale yet. i left call after that scene. but hey, at least i know i’m taco i guess.

rainer and taco 💿🎁 [ if my emojis are a bit off, it’s cause i’m on a new device and i’m not used to how the emojis look on here, sorry ]

x

[fictionkinfessions]

”y’know, i don’t fully understand why people want to find mediamates so much.” <- guy who’s three highest kintypes ruined literally every relationship hy had in hys canon and left multiple people with lasting scars, including hymself, and literally muted hymself on call for like 15 when hy found a mediamate in fear and gave hys other names when asked to introduce hymself because hy was scared that if hy gave hys kinname [ the one hy uses most ] then hy’d get yelled at

i’m the guy in question

Rainer 💿🎁

[fictionkinfessions]

it feels odd missing everything from back there. it was terrible, i was scared almost 24/7 and my living conditions were horrible. i felt terrible mentally and physically. yet here i am, wanting to go back more than anything. it sucks, i feel like i'm betraying myself and everyone else. i should've gotten better by now, but i'm not. wtf brain.

Rainer 💿🎁

x

[fictionkinfessions]

i need to stop thinking about my uncle, if i regress any more then i might go try to find the school again and that wouldn’t be helpful in the slightest.

💿🎁

w

[fictionkinfessions]

“i miss my dad” neither versions of the guy hy is referring to were hys father

Rainer / Care [ Tapers ] 💿🎁

w

[fictionkinfessions]

oh thank god marvin isn’t the only person who’s family role i’ve gotten mixed up in my head cause i just called paul my brother on accident. still concerning that my brain defaults to the incorrect roles but better than it doing that only for marvin, that scared me so bad.

Rainer 💿🎁

[fictionkinfessions]

what do you mean i am a human being and that automatically makes my life valuable regardless of skills i am may or may not have? that’s stupid, i need to relearn piano so i can feel loved again.

Rainer 💿🎁