Client: Hello, I have a cockroach infestation
Dispatcher: Thank you for informing us! Unfortunately we cannot fulfill your request due to safety concerns
Client: Safety concerns? Like what?
Dispatcher: We have concerns about children doing this as a fad
Client: You think children are calling pest control to exterminate bugs — because it's a fad?
Dispatcher: Yes, I believe it is a fad and it is harmful because they will regret it in the future.
Client: Well, I'm not a child, so I don't see how this concerns me.
Dispatcher: It's also disrespectful to people without pests in their house for you to remove yours.
Client: How is that disrespectful
Dispatcher: It's disrespectful because you're promoting stereotypes about normal people. Also, my brother farms cockroaches to feed his tarantulas. Wanting to get rid of the cockroaches in your house is disrespectful to people like Exotics Lair.
Client: How- Wait your brother's a youtuber?
Dispatcher: If I exterminate your cockroaches, then it will encourage other people to prank call.
Client: How would that be my fault? They're always gonna prank call. I just want to live in a house that doesn't have a cockroach infestation!
Dispatcher: Oh, I see...You just want no cockroaches in your house so you can kidnap innocent children and women into your house! But your agenda isn't gonna work on me. People might say they don't think "people" like you deserve human rights, but deep down, they agree with me. In Exodus 20 verse 13, it says, "Thou shall not kill". YOU'RE A DISGUSTING, MENTALLY ILL, COMMUNIST BOLSHEVIK SINNER AND YOU DESERVE TO BURN IN HELL!
The dispatcher slams the phone down, ending the call. The cockroaches swarmed the client and crawled into every orifice and ate until there was nothing left.
