About 10 years ago, I was at a con event with some of my fellow authors. While my friends scoped the room, I went to the bar. I mean, the event was "Drinks with Authors" so I had to fulfill that first part, right? (This was such a different time for me, I realize.)
Now, earlier that day I had seen a guy who looked EXACTLY like Steve fucking Rogers. He was just in jeans and a t-shirt. Well, he ended up at the bar in front of me. So, me being me, I said, "Hey, I'm sure you get this constantly, but you look like Steve Rogers. Please tell me you cosplay Captain America."
He turns around (christ he was hot) and beams. "Yeah, I do! Doing Winter Soldier cap tomorrow. This is my Bucky." And he points to the guy next to him that I hadn't noticed in a dark blue jacket and jeans...with the Winter Soldier hair and reader they were a beautiful pair.
Apparently they were both from a Seattle group of Avengers cosplayers who did events and saw kids in the hospital, all that wonderful stuff. Nice guys. Hot guys. Wish we'd talked more.
I think about them sometimes and wonder if they're still Cap & Bucky.
Currently doing some hand stitching and it will never cease to remind of the time my mom was teaching be to hand sew as a kid, and told me that the stitches should only be about the size of little ants. I started out well, but of course, having no objective measurements, my stitches grew and grew. I showed my finished product to my mom and she remarked, “Hmm, well those are some pretty big ‘ants’.” At which point, my dad, having not heard any of the previous conversation, whips his head around and goes “WHERE”.
I randomly got a very vivid memory of this conversation happening. The funny thing is this was before I knew I was trans, how tf did others know we weren't a girl before we did?
F: "Help. How do I talk to women"
B: "You're talking to one, [deadname] is a woman you dumbass"
F: "No [deadname] is- [deadname]. I mean how do you talk to an ACTUAL woman. Like. I guess you're technically a girl, what do they like?"
I used to own so many McDonald's toys. I basically only ever ate the Happy Meal from McDonald's, and that didn't change until a few years ago. So I was basically collecting these toys I would never use for years and years. If we assume I became able to eat solid food at age three or so (and then assume I ate fast food at least once a year), I had to have had something from 2007 to 2015. I don't know. I stopped using the toys at some point, but my parents didn't get rid of them until sometime...I want to say back in 2019 or 2020? Maybe?
This is only relevant because this is the only reason I knew about the Transformers, honestly. I vividly remember the three cheap toys I had from childhood that I never touched after a certain age, and they were McDonald's Transfomers toys. I knew they had to McDonald's ones, but I don't even know why that part is the part vividly stuck in my memory. I had toys for Ratchet, Bumblebee and possibly Optimus Prime. The memories aren't perfect, but I can summon up something to recall them.
Using the deductive logic of wikis and google, I know these toys would've been for the 2007 Transformers tv show. I think that version of Transformers might be my favourite version, even though I can't even remember watching it. I just like the characters and voice actors I know the show had. And since 2005 was my birth year, 2007 is peak childhood for me. I would probably have been more into the shows aimed at really young audiences, but still. Maybe I should revisit that 2000s Transformers show one day, instead of the 80s one. I think there's a chance I'll prefer it.
I know COD lobbies are one of the most toxic cesspools on Earth but sometimes I remember when I was playing Black Ops 2 when I was 11 and clearly upset I wasn't doing well with a shit K/D ratio so someone on my team started giving me encouragement in the voice of Donald Duck the whole time and I'm like yeah the world ain't so bad
Are you ever just sitting there like normal and then your brain suddenly throws a memory from school at you that leaves you utterly baffled by the amount of bullshit that goes on there?
Bc I once again remembered the time my Spanish teacher tried to guilt trip me into staying in class during a panic attack and I just. What??? Full rant under the cut bc it is. A lot.
Ok so to preface this I think it's important to know that this was the teacher for the elementary, middle, and high school Spanish classes so like. I've known this lady my whole life and she should have had some indication by that point that my mental health was Not Great. In elementary I had an IEP (until another teacher that my mom specifically had beef with ruined it), then in middle school I got in trouble in her class for pushing another student's arm off of my desk (bc I'm autistic af and needed him Out Of My Bubble) so like. By high school she should be aware that I am Not Neurotypical.
ANYWAYS the incident that changed how I viewed her not only as an educator but as a person was in sophomore or junior year. We were working in groups on the oral part of our tests, writing the scripts that we'd have to recite the next day. I was doing my best to actually finish the assignment but the rest of my group was goofing off and I couldn't focus on what I was doing. By this point I had no idea I was autistic so all of my meltdowns and shutdowns were mislabeled as anxiety attacks. I started falling into a shutdown, and when that happens I get caught in a feedback loop where I can't really think or write anything down other than my negative thoughts, and as you can imagine that doesn't make for a very good Spanish assignment. Plus, since the class was working on an oral assignment, the classroom was getting loud and I was getting overstimulated.
I can feel my throat tightening when I start getting overwhelmed, so I go ask her if I can go to the office because I'm having a panic attack (re: meltdown) and this woman. Looks me in the eye while I'm struggling to keep myself together. And says something to the effect of:
"Oh, y'know I have anxiety too (press x to doubt) and I never need to step out of class. Plus, if you leave now you'll probably have to come in and work on it later (bestie this script is on google docs. You know I can work on this literally anywhere, right?) and I have track and other extracurriculars, so you would be taking up my time too."
Like, first of all, if you do really have and degree of anxiety, you would know that saying some dumb shit like that isn't gonna help at all, in fact it's far more likely to make your anxiety WORSE which, surprise! Is exactly what it did! Good job! Secondly, how do you ever think saying that to anyone is ok, let alone a high schooler? School itself is a huge source of stress, then you throw in hormonal imbalances, a growing list of responsibilities outside of school, and a home life that you, as a teacher, have NO IDEA OF, and you really think the thing to say to one at their breaking point is "Don't take care of your mental health or you'll waste MY time 🥺" BITCH HUH???
I actually ended up not going to the office (since I Did Not Have Permission) and not staying in class (for obvious reasons) but sitting in the hallway and sobbing just outside the door for the rest of the class period. Someone stopped and asked if I was ok, which was way more helpful than anything she said. Seriously what the fuck man?
