Discover Top Posts Tagged with #randy writes

Hole for the Holidays: A Christmas Romance

“Is there a tow truck nearby or something?” Jo checked his phone again. “Though I got no reception, I think.”

“Happens all the time around here, bro!” shouted the truck driver over the wind. “It usually goes back to normal soon, just you wait. And anyway, I’ll make it to the highway and turn back in like fifteen minutes. If you’re not up and running by then, I’ll get you out.”

“Thanks!” said Jo and jumped in his seat as the car’s headlights suddenly blinked on. “Shit, you’re right. Weird.”

“It’s all because of those saucers, bro!” the driver gestured up. “Hold on tight, I’ll be back soon!”

“Because of what?” frowned Jo, peeking outside the window, but the truck was already disappearing in the falling snow again. He looked up. The sky loomed low, dark, and empty. Jo shuddered and closed the window. He tried the ignition and got nothing. His phone still couldn’t pick up a signal. Jo slumped in his seat and listened to the blizzard around him, cautiously looking up from time to time.

After all of this, he thought, that dick better be good.

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A short summary:

#randy writes #christmas

A quick post with links and such just for the hell of it.

Hi, I’m Randy, I draw dicks.

I talk to myself and post uncensored art on Bluesky.

I post uncensored art and nothing else on Blogspot, and there is everything, and I mean everything. I don’t really use Instagram.

I’m still on Twitter.

You can buy prints and various merch with my less porny pics from Redbubble.

My futile attempts at writing are on Fanfiction.net and more recently on AO3.

I tag my posts here for drawing, incorrect quotes, and writing. Ask box replies are also tagged so you can filter them out if you’re so inclined.

Oh, and also I’m on Patreon.

I guess this sums it up.

#randy answers #randy draws #randy edits #randy writes #encyclical

AO3 | Blogspot

#randy writes

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

When the Fourth of July fireworks are over, the Spirits will come to teach a lesson.

AO3 | Blogspot

#randy writes

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Screw & Nail Pt. 3: Something Something Halloween

“I don’t think Jason has ever had this much sexual tension with any of the camp counselors.”

Dayton Kelly sat on the couch in his living room. The lights were cosily dimmed and blood-curdling screams kept coming from the TV. James was next to him, cross-legged on the fluffy shag rug, occasionally dropping popcorn on the floor without noticing. James was only half-watching the movie, more interested in watching his boyfriend and boss watch the film for the first time.

“Exactly!” said James and patted Dayton on the leg. “This is why Screamaway Camp is the pinnacle of Canadian knockoff slasher filmmaking. You get it, man. You just get it. And it’s the main reason why I’m sleeping with you.”

“I thought it was my huge dick.”

“Clayton’s reason number two, and he’s not a part of this conversation.”

“Clayton?”

“The smaller part of the Greater Dayton area,” beamed James.

“You’re fired, Jimmy,” said Dayton gravely.

* * *

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#randy writes #halloween

#randy writes

More holiday-themed porn!

The Fourth of July Carol

James Podolsky paced the rooftop of Dayton Kelly’s apartment, which sat on top of the Screw & Nail hardware store. The hatch leading down into the apartment was open, and not far from it there stood two lawn chairs and a cooler with beer.

“Dayton, I swear to god I’ll start sucking your cock without you!”

The sky above was getting darker, a few stars already sparkling in the East and a red stripe of sunset fading slowly in the West, complimenting the colors of the small town beneath it. Normanrockville was fully decorated for the Fourth of July, and so was James, clad in a deep blue star-studded tank top and striped shorts, an outfit positively elegant and subdued compared to some of his June looks.

Ever since Christmas when the two had started dating, James had been spending more and more time at Dayton’s. One night, going to the bathroom, he noticed a hatch in the ceiling and curiously pulled down the ladder. It took some effort to open the hatch, but after some clanking and screeching it let in cold night air and led James to the rooftop.

“What the hell are you doing on the roof with your bare butt?” said Dayton’s voice from below the hatch.

“Admiring the view. And giving you a view to admire.”

Dayton gave a concerned look to the lower half of the butt still inside the apartment.

“Great view, Jimmy, but please come down. You’ll catch a cold.”

“Aww,” said James, returning inside. “So let me guess, you never go there?”

“It’s a roof, what’s there to do?”

“Sunbathe? Do yoga? Get drunk? Fall over, make some memories? You’re missing out. Once it’s warmer outside, we should hang out there.”

“What if the neighbors see us?” frowned Dayton.

“See us doing what exactly?” James came closer and put his arms around Dayton.

“Making memories,” said Dayton, picking James off the floor and carrying him back to bed. “Let’s make some now, shall we?”

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