and they definitely have their flaws and probelms to work out, but the impact and unity they bring is unmatched. The feeling in a city after their team wins a championship is impossible to articulate. The immediate bond two people who are fans of the same team have, no matter who they are, brings people together in a way nothing else can. Watching the teams games on tv as a family, is such a fun experience. Nothing unites people like sports.
somethings I'm realizing in this year after losing my mom, people don't always let you grieve the way you need you.
fuck, half the time I didn't even know how to even function let alone have human connections. the people that really love and care for me are the ones who show no resentment towards me for going mia for months, not texting back, blowing off plans. Friends like this help and last so much longer than the friends who react defensively towards the cold behavior.
so to wrap that up, shout out to all my friends who don't make me feel bad when I'm flaky and tolerate it on the regular.
This whole week in fiction and mental health has been kinda sucky, honestly. Just to get some things off my chest--Ā
This is kinda an important PSA-- helps with.. Explaining my behavior the last weekish.
Iām completely-- I give up, on the 100, honestly. I jumped ship last week, after Monroeās death, because I genuinely liked that character, and her death somehow really shook me up, and now, hearing what theyāve done to Lexa, I donāt want anything to do with the show. Fandomās better, anyhow, and I have so much kudos to all you The 100 RPers, for being tough and bringing so much to your muses.
I read the Shannara books. I knew what was going to happen. But Amberleās death-- I donāt know. She was scared, and she was so young, and she deserved a lot more out of life. Not to mention, I am a diehard Princess Rover shipper, so, yay, more pain for me.Ā
And I was reminded of the agony that was Young Justice, please donāt get me started.Ā
The whole reason, that I watch shows, that I read books, is because I am desperate for an escape. To immerse myself in these beautiful worlds, with characters that I bond with and identify with-- and if not that, then I still care about them-- a lot. And when they die, it always hits something really hard in me, which is so strange. Donāt get me wrong, I know death in fiction and with characters is necessary, and perhaps itās foolish of me to get attached to characters like this, but it helps me, mentally, and it honestly feels like every character I get attached to end up biting the bullet.Ā
And that sucks, and I know Iām not the only one who feels this way.Ā
Even RP hasnāt been helping, lately, however, and that REALLY hurts. RP has been hurting more than helping, lately, and I know why, and itās hard to say, or maybe hard to admit.Ā
Iām exhausted, of feeling like Iām an annoyance to everyone I interact with-- and lately thatās all I feel. Like Iām annoying, like Iām a bother, like my muse is a bother. Like Iām too invested in the relationships my muse gets, and that annoys the people i talk to.Ā
And Iām having issues with Muninn, too. I havenāt drawn in-- months. Because sheās just about the only muse of my many, many, that I feel connected to, right now. I have so many OCs and sheās taking over-- which is both good and bad. I adore Muninn, and I always have, but sheās drowning out any other muse I have-- which isnāt what I want. (gods, I mean, come on, Reginās blog lasted a week because I lost interest and stuck to here.)Ā
And a lot of this is coming from the fact that my longest-term partner has.. Well sheās completely abandoned me, honestly. She cut contact, because she has a boyfriend and her social life, and--Ā
Itās all stemming from the agony of that, and Iām sorry. Iām so sorry, to everyone Iāve annoyed or upset, and yeah this was long-winded and I topic-hopped but if I didnāt get all of this out I was going to have yet another meltdown.
