#rants about nothing

[yeahwhatdidisay]

Time for...RANTS ABOUT NOTHING!!

Todays nothing...

So I really enjoyed this movie.  The visuals were great (I mean amazing!) The acting and singing was solid.  The comedy in the movie got me to literally laugh out loud at times.  It was all around a pretty good movie. The problem...the story itself.

This can get long...Spoilers ahead for those who would rather not.  So you’ve been warned.

Story:

The backstory starts out by introducing who the trolls are, and who the creatures known as the Bergens are.

Basically the trolls are little bundles of happy and joy who always have songs in their hearts. Bergens on the other hand do not.

They can’t sing, dance, or anything.  They pretty much can feel no happiness. Just be sad sacks.  

One day a Bergen ate a Troll and he felt the joy and happiness that all Trolls have within.

Thus ‘Trollstice’ was born.  A holiday where the Bergens gather and everyone eats Trolls to feel the joy that they just don’t feel.

Why would anyone want to stay around for that?  Thus Trolls finally decided to escape after the Bergen prince was scheduled to eat the Troll princess, Poppy.

So cute!

The main story revolves around the escaped Trolls living in the forest hiding from the Bergens, but especially the Bergen Chef who was exiled after all the Trolls escaped, ruining ‘Trollstice’ from then on.

The story itself is pretty solid.

Poppy (played by Anna Kendrik) grows up, gets careless, accidentally leads the Chef to their hiding place. She ends up having to save her friends with the help of the village grump named Branch, played by Justin Timberlake.

Even though I feel the majority of the movie is great and doesn’t need any changes or fixes. I do have some...thoughts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Thoughts:

Even though I do really like the movie I think it loses it’s strength toward the end of the story.

Or basically with this character:

Bridget

Don’t get me wrong, I love me my Bridget!  She is a cute and great character, played wonderfully by Zooey Deschenel! 

Bridget has a crush on the Bergen King Gristle (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and she illustrates her love through a hilarious rendition of ‘Hello’ by Lionel Richie.

Now the only issue I have with the character is that she can sing...pretty well.

The problem: It’s stated pretty clearly that Bergens aren’t supposed to be able to sing.  No one acknowledges this, at all! Almost like this wasn’t a Bergen feature to begin with!  

The rest of the Bergen’s do sing but it’s not the greatest and their choice of song (one of my faves) ‘Clint Eastood’ by Gorillaz helps to illustrate their lack of happiness.

To me this oversight is the biggest most blaring problem with the story. The only explanation they have is a couple of throw-away lines from Poppy and Branch.

Poppy: Awe, she’s in love with the king. Branch: What are you talking about? Bergen’s don’t have feelings! Poppy: Well, maybe you don’t know everything about the Bergens!

And that’s it! Everything’s cleared up and now we move on.  Nuh-uh! 

It’s because of this blareing oversight that I feel the ending of the movie is it’s weakest point. Like the outcome was too convenient and sudden.  So much so that it doesn’t make complete sense.

But why bring it up?  Why complain?  Because...I think I have a fix...a fan-fix.

(Oh god...that’s dumb...but I’m sticking to it.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Fan-Fix

(Should I keep that title?  Is it worth keeping?  Yes for now!)

So how would I fix the problem with the story?

Simple.

Focus on the fact that Bridget can sing along with the main storyline of saving the other Trolls.

Here’s how I would have fixed it.

Keep everything that’s happened in the movie up to the part where Poppy and Branch let the others out of the cage.  Bridget discovers them free, she chases them and then have Poppy interrupt with not only the fact that she has a crush on the king but also with the fact that she can sing.

Add a bit where Bridget says she’s always been able to sing.  But whenever anyone heard and was about to find her singing she would run away.  Hide because she’s only a scullery maid and how would they treat her if they found out.   Maybe add a bit where she’s worried that others might think there was a Troll stuck in her throat and try and cut it out! (Morbid, yes, but world building!) For extra oomph add a line where Bridget exclaims now she only sings when she’s thinking about the king.

Now back on track with the movie as it is.

Branch reveals why he is the way he is. They help Bridget talk to the King. They all try to save Creek.  BETRAYAL! Everyone in Troll Village is captured.  Poppy loses hope and Branch helps her find it again.

Now onto my final change of the story.

Bridget helps all the Trolls escape when suddenly Chef appears!  She is able to get only a handful of the trolls back, consisting of mainly the core group and a few extra Trolls.

Have Bridget cry out for Chef to let them go, which results in a really harsh tongue lashing at Bridget’s expense.  Chef exclaims ‘you are a scullery maid! What are you going to do? You’re the lowest of the low!  You can’t do anything! You are worthless.  The Guards will have no trouble taking you away and no one will even care!,’ so on and so forth. Then leave a defeated Bridget to go and serve the king.

Now a mix of existing story and my added story.

Have Chef try and serve the king, he contests saying he wants to wait for Lady Glitter Sparkle.  Chef try’s to manipulate him into not waiting and is she really so special that she’s worth ruining Trollstice?  But now, King Gristle continues to contest, saying he doesn’t want to ruin Trollstice but Lady Glitter Sparkle is amazing and she’s wonderful and she makes him feel...happy?

GASP!

Chef notices everyone in the banquet hall whispering to each other.  ‘Wait!  He felt happiness...without eating a Troll?’ ‘Is that possible?’ ‘Can we do that?’

This is when Chef loses it.  She opens the pot (leaving it open), reaches in and pulls out Poppy, not Branch. She starts the yelling scene from the movie. (With a little edit)

She calls out,

“Don’t [be ridiculous] there’s only one way to be happy!  My way! With me in charge I’ll serve Troll every day of the year!  With me as Queen all of life will be a never ending piece of happiness! C’mon! Eat, eat, EAT!”

At this point Bridget interrupts...with a song!  She bursts into the hall and is singing her heart out about love. (Which song? Not sure? What do you think it should be? A ballad maybe? )

Everyone is frozen in shock.  This is where all the captured Trolls come out of the pot, singing backup.  The main group who helped Bridget earlier come out, go into the skate on the King’s table, launch themselves onto Bridget and reveal that she is Lady Glitter Sparkles.

King Gristle comes out from behind the table (such a great bit!) and here is where Poppy helps them realize that the happy feeling came from within, not from too much Pizza.  

Have the Bib Seller say his line then have Poppy reply by saying that lots of things can make you happy.  The Bergens start calling out things that come to mind. Like food? Some of the Bergens start to sing well.  Being outside? Inside? Others join in. They start calling out things and more and more of them are able to join in. End on friends and family, all the Bergen’s sing and that’s when Poppy starts singing ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’.

Insert the banquet hall scene with all the Bergen’s and Trolls singing and dancing and the Chef and Creek are pushed out of Bergen town!

The ending is the same and everyone is happy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do I feel this is necessary?

This ending helps the movie make sense.  Not just the quick ‘It was in you all along’ ending we got but it helps to also explain why Bridget is also able to sing from the start.  Thinking of the King made her able to sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So that’s it!

That’s my opinion and feelings of the Trolls movie.

I’m looking forward to the sequel coming out and I’m excited to see where they take the story.

If you read this the whole way through...Thank! I Hope you enjoyed my review and fix.  Let me know if you like this and if you would want more.

(...They could also take out the cloud character...not my favorite but whatever)

[flamingeaux]

I hate Hallmark Movies with a passion. Often times, they’re more like horror movies to me (woman lets a creepy man do whatever but it’s all played off as cute and sweet and aspiring).

When are we getting the parody movies of it?? Like a genuine horror movie making fun of Hallmark and their weird messages.

On the other hand, there’s no uniqueness to hallmark movies? I’m tired of the basic white girl tired of city life. Where’s the nerdy man accountant that’s tired of city life and finding himself a hunky woman in the country?

Or better yet, a city girl finding a hunky woman, I’ll take that too.

[conchelle]

What frustrates me the most about Donna's treatment in the original Twin Peaks run, is that in the pilot, we see that she has so many connections to other characters. She's practically the secondary main character.

And then the show ends with her being involved in some random last minute subplot??? One that does nothing for her character or anyone else involved except more drama? Except it doesn't even result in anything because that's it. Wow! Ben Horne is her real father! Anyway...

Of all the characters to examine her relationship for the finale it was Ben Horne. For some reason. Not Laura. Not Sarah. Not Audrey. Not James. Not Maddie. Not Harold. Not Bobby. Not even Mike??? But Ben Horne???

I seriously don't understand why the writers seemingly had no clue what else to do with her character after the initial storyline was resolved. There are so many things that happen which you'd expect to affect Donna in some way moving forward. Like out of all the characters, she has the most room for exploration after the Laura Palmer storyline is concluded. Yet for instead of delving into any of that, she just sort of floats arounds other random subplots with no real conviction or drive of her own. She doesn't even seem all that concerned about James until a bit later on.

I understand that the writers were basically at a loss of what to do at this point due to messy production. But Donna seemed like the most obvious character to follow through with yet they're seemingly so unconcerned with her up until the very end.

I really loved LFB's portrayal of Donna and seeing how her final appearance is nothing more than a wet fart genuinely broke my heart. It's so depressing

[yeahwhatdidisay]

More cgi gripes...the Cats edition

Or is it called Cats (2019)?

The tagline: 'They're back, and you're not gonna like it!'

Really though, what is up with all the ugly and uninteresting cgi that's happening in film lately? The software has never been better and everything looks like I, a person who has never used it, was given the task!

I could possibly make something impressive but is it pleasing to the eye? Most likely not!

And now...Cats!

Don't get me wrong...I like the idea of all the actors being cat sized in the 'human' world. The sets look great and with the talent I'm pretty sure the songs will be magical. But...I mean...

Creepy...just weird and I hate it!

It's such a bummer too cause it's an easy fix.

Give them furrier faces and cat noses, at least!

Not perfect but already on its way to looking better! And this is me dicking around on my phone! Imagine if someone who knew what they were doing took initiative!

Also...

Why they gotta do that to her?!

My fix:

Again, not perfect but on it's way, and just by giving her bigger ears and a CAT NOSE!

Them baby ears don't do it for head size. Also placement could help. Change the ears to fit the actor. Not all the ears need to sit on top of the head like antenna.

I could litterally sit here all day fixing the cast of Cats 'it's creepy and you're gonna like it!!' (2019) on my phone but then I'd want consulting fees from the movie studio.

Moral of the rant (wait...is this a 'rant about nothing'?) don't make the cats look human! They're supposed to be cats! Make them look more cat-like!

If Sonic can clean up (hopefully) then so can you Cats 'I'm gonna jump out and scare you' (2019)!

[pcwerhouse]

i personally don’t understand the logic behind banning all faces from one tv show like ... every oc is different and some people like certain faces. thicc baby sprayberry is one of my favorite faces to use and it’s super discouraging to see someone’s banned page say something like “no teen wolf faces period”. how stupid. you’re missing out on an amazing character all because you’re triggered(???) by some show that’s not even airing anymore? jfc people sometimes the groupthink in the rpc is super annoying

[starboy57]

I don't consider myself sophisticated at all, but most things around me are particularly underwhelming. I feel like there's so much noise around me that I don't really get to delve into those things that are truly interesting. I guess most people would see it as useless knowledge, but I'm love with the idea of exploring the unknown. I enjoy documentaries, biographies, arts, cultural films, sculptures, history, theologies, law, concepts, inventions, psychology, socionics, neuroscience, theoretical physics, creative writing, rhythm, poetry, biology, technologies, etc. It's like the more I'm exposed to, the more I find myself, instead being made to fall in line with everybody else and pretend to like some fad or celebrity rubbish. I think what I hate the most is that I can't really enjoy anything without business shoving ads in my face for all the useless crap they want to sell. Everything feels so materialistic and unappealing. Like people are trying to pass themselves off to one another. Or maybe that's just me. I want to present myself the way I see myself, but that's not the life I have. I hate constructing the idea of this fake persona so I don't feel so out of place with others. I try to be as genuine as possible, but I end up being isolated. It's sad how I can be surrounded by so many people and feel lonelier than I am by myself. There's this annoying pressure to be career ready, to already have your whole life planned out before figuring out who you are, and to struggle your ass off to achieve a minimally decent life. I think that's bullshit. I hate being told to follow stupid rules, and to believe certain things because some suit who doesn't know a thing about me wants me to be more like them. And the more they do it, the more I pull away. I hate being told: "it is what it is", or "business is business", or "that's just politics".. fuck that! That's not an answer, that's a lazy excuse. I refuse to participate in these little charades of apathy for greed. Sometimes it's so bad that I'll tear myself out of a place of pattern. Like watching people push past each other in a mall, or standing on a bridge overlooking a traffic jam, or opening that one door that nobody tries to use as they step over each other to get out. People just kinda go through their lives with an automatic setting and it's like there's no room for thought. I think that's why I admire historical figures, they just stand out, not the ones that stole the spotlight on someone else's behalf, but the true unspoken heroes who need to have their stories told. In my head, I tend to create the ideal future given the knowledge of our past. If there was a failure to society, it wasn't because we didn't have to capacity to leap forward, it was because our future was robbed from us by investors of yesteryear. And I'll be watching from the cliffs when the levees break.

[cell151]

Don’t really see the point of a making a “the film industry really needs to do this / hire this person / make this / stop this.” Its not like some high paid executive sees this and goes, “By jolly they’re right!”

But I guess make such posts makes one feel better about themselves.

I find it overall pointless compared to more stressing matters in the world

I understand though. I used to make detailed posts on how Doctor Who could be improved but I have long since realized that shit train is going to keep on rollin’ so what’s the point?

[sweetchrysanthemumtea]

It bothers me that Tumblr does not let you edit your tags once you type them, and you just have to delete it and do it all again. What if I just missed a letter or want them in a specific order?