(Catching up, comfort, eating disorder, Cullen was somewhat of a butt, gossip)
Raphael checks in on Lily after he hears she had a falling out with the commander.
Hannah belongs to @kagetsukai.
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It was almost noon by the time Raphael was making his way back to Haven after a long morning of hunting. There was a moment where he thought the only thing he would be bringing back to the town was the sack of wild turnips and carrots he was able to dig up, but he got lucky just as he was about to call it quits. The large, dead deer that was draped over his shoulders, however, would most likely disagree.
The town was a lot busier and crowded since Lily’s arrival from the Hinterlands the previous night. Most of the mages that had accompanied her appeared to be unsure of what to do with themselves - some wandered about the town or remained inside their assigned tents, while a few others spoke regularly to the messengers running around the town.
There was no sign of Lily anywhere as he made his way towards the tavern, and he wondered where she could be. She usually spent this time of day taking horse riding lessons with Cullen or running errands for Adan, and the morning meeting in the chantry should have been over by now.
He carefully nudged the door to the tavern open before stepping inside and glanced around the warm and crowded room, wondering if by some divine miracle she had decided to show up for the midday meal on her own accord for once.
He frowned when he realized she wasn’t here either.
“Hello, Raphael!”
The sudden, enthusiastic greeting caught him by surprise despite the loud chatter in the tavern, and he turned to find Flissa looking up at him with a big smile.
“Do you need any help with that?” she asked, as she reached for the bag of turnips and carrots that was hanging from his belt.
“Uh, that’s okay,” replied Raphael, as he deftly stepped out of her reach and headed into the tavern’s back room to set down the heavy deer.
Even though he sensed there was an interest from her, he knew Flissa’s intentions were innocent - she was a sweet girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly - but that didn’t mean he was comfortable with her reaching for his hips without his permission.
“I think this should be enough for the rest of the day,” he said, as he surveyed the kitchen’s large stock, willing the slight warmth of embarrassment to leave his face.
“Oh yes, definitely,” assured Flissa. She was standing just outside the doorway, playing with a few strands of her hair as she smiled shyly at him, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. “All thanks to you, of course.”
Raphael was about to remind her that he wasn’t the only hunter in town, but decided to change the subject in case she decided to offer more unnecessary praise. He cleared his throat as he unfastened the bag at his belt and set it down on the floor with the rest of the vegetables.
“Have you seen Lily?” he asked. “I haven’t seen her since last night.”
Flissa’s flustered expression now had a hint of worry.
“Not today, no,” she replied. “I was going to deliver her morning meal to her cabin after her meeting, but… I… I didn’t catch her in time.”
“What do you mean?”
Flissa looked over her shoulder before stepping into the room, keeping her voice low as she spoke.
“Word around town is that she got into quite a row with the commander,” she murmured. “Some chantry sisters overheard the ruckus in the meeting room before the Herald stormed out, looking as if she was about to incinerate every single thing in her path. No one has seen her since then, as far as I know.”
Raphael frowned. He learned to take rumors started by chantry people with a keg of salt long ago, but he couldn’t help but feel concerned about what could have possibly happened for Lily to feel so upset with Cullen. He had seen with his own two eyes how well they seemed to get along together, enough so that he began to suspect a growing fondness between the two of them.
He was about to ask Flissa if she knew what the argument was about before deciding against it, not wanting to have anything to do with the harsh gossip that normally swept through the town.
“Do you know where she went?” he asked, as he quickly filled the basin with water and washed his hands.
“She might have gone into the outskirts of the town?” offered Flissa. “Probably getting herbs for Adan and such.”
Raphael briefly hesitated as he dried his hands on a clean rag. He didn’t recall seeing any sign of Lily while he was out hunting and gathering, but he wasn’t too worried - he knew the herbs she picked usually grew some distance away from the regular hunting grounds.
“Is it alright if I take a few things?” he asked, nodding at a few baskets filled with loaves of rye bread, goat cheese, and different kinds of fruit. “I have a feeling she hasn’t eaten anything in awhile.”
“Of course,” nodded Flissa, glancing back at the doorway when a few loud voices were calling her name. “Maker, I better get back. See you later, I hope!”
Raphael sighed as he left the back room a few minutes later, securing a small bag filled with food to his belt. He was about to head towards the entrance of the tavern with purpose when a familiar voice made him stop dead in his tracks.
"Fuck you!”
Dread settled in his stomach as he cautiously looked over in the direction of the insult he thought was meant for him, but instead found the woman known as Hannah engaged in what appeared to be a heated conversation with Krem.
“I’m stronger than I look and I can totally take you on!” she challenged.
“Oh shut up,” scoffed Krem, as he lifted a tankard to his lips. “You’re a pencil pusher, you’re no match for my strength.”
“Oh yeah?” asked Hannah. She moved her arm to rest her elbow on the table and offered her hand, wiggling her fingers expectantly. “Wanna bet?”
Raphael’s stomach sank when Krem suddenly met his confused stare and smirked.
“Hey Flissa,” he called, “get ready to add a round to Hannah’s tab!”
It was all Raphael needed to bolt out the door before Hannah turned and had another chance to unload her ire on him again. He had managed to avoid the woman since their falling out a few weeks ago, and he had absolutely no intention to come across her again.
He kept a brisk pace as he made his way out of the town, making sure he kept his ears open in case he heard any word about Lily. The usual comments and gossip were now tinged with concerned remarks about the allied mages, and he had no doubt the chantry was taking advantage of Lily’s decision to spread their bullshit propaganda.
He scowled when his eyes zeroed in on Cullen in the distance as he walked through the town gates.
The man appeared more tired and tense than usual as he shouted orders at the sparring soldiers, and the scout that came up to him with a message scurried away when all he received was a sharp, terse reply in return. Whatever words were exchanged between him and Lily that morning had obviously left him in a bad mood.
Raphael’s frown stayed put when Cullen spotted him walking by, and judging by the deep sigh that was released, Raphael’s presence had done little to improve his mood.
He huffed a sigh when Cullen turned away and continued his trek towards the small forest ahead, breaking into a jog as he neared the trees. There was no sign of Lily in the area where the medicinal herbs were usually found, and a knock on the abandoned cabin’s door yielded no reply. He took a deep breath as he glanced around, willing himself to remain calm. The druffalos in the hills nearby rarely ventured this close to the town, and they weren’t a danger unless someone was stupid enough to make them angry.
He was about to call her name when he walked around the side of the cabin and sighed in relief when he spotted a trail of fresh footprints leading down towards a small, hidden pier.
There was Lily, sitting at the edge of the dock, staring down at the frozen lake.
“Hey,” he said quietly, so as to not startle her. It didn’t work.
She jumped slightly as she whipped her head around, and the fear he saw in her face made him pause. It was clear that she wasn’t fully recovered from her recent trip to the Hinterlands, and his stomach clenched as he thought back to when he saw her last night. The distant, haunted look in her face wasn’t as prominent anymore, but the pallor and exhaustion hadn’t gone anywhere.
“Sorry,” he rushed out, as she visibly relaxed. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
Lily released a deep breath and shook her head, dismissing his concern.
“It’s fine,” she said, as she scooted over and gestured at the space next to her with a questioning expression.
Raphael hesitated for a brief second before walking over to her with a small smile. Even though she didn’t keep her distance from him anymore since their first meeting, he still decided to be careful as he sat down next to her, taking care to not encroach her personal space too much.
There was still an air of awkwardness around them despite the talk they had last night, and he wasn’t sure how to act around her. She was so different compared to when they were children - quieter, withdrawn, lost in her own thoughts, and the grins and laughter that were once so prominent were now mostly small smiles that didn’t quite reach her eyes. It was understandable, obviously, after all she had to endure through the years on her own.
It didn’t mean he was fine with it, though.
He knew there was no point in acknowledging the guilt that continued to gnaw at him, not when he was finally reunited with his little sister. What mattered now was to help her in any way that he could.
But… the problem was that he didn’t really know how.
Silence settled between them and he remembered the bag that was hanging from his belt. Well, making sure that she ate something would be a good start.
“I brought you a few things,” he said, as he unfastened the bag and shifted in place to face her.
Lily’s curious expression turned into wariness when the scent of freshly baked bread wafted from the bag, and she looked away just as she opened her mouth to protest.
“It’s nothing rich,” he assured her. “Just a few light things to get something into your system. Start with this.”
Lily hesitated as she eyed the small slice of bread he offered her, and much to Raphael’s relief, she accepted it.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
He gave her a small nod and proceeded to lay out some fruit and cheese on a clean napkin as she began to nibble at her bread, taking care to leave the rest of it in the bag so it wouldn’t get too cold.
His mind tried to figure out what to say as he began to cut a small apple in half, wondering if he should ask about the so-called ‘row’ Flissa had mentioned. One look at her tired expression was all he needed to change his mind.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
She hesitated as she picked at her bread.
“A little better,” she replied. She was about to say something else, but looked at him curiously instead. “How’d you know I was here, anyway?”
Raphael froze as he looked back at her, wondering if he should come up with some sort of a lie so she wouldn’t know about the gossiping townspeople, but decided against it. The last thing he wanted was to betray Lily’s trust with a lie, no matter how small it was.
He sighed as he set half of the apple next to her.
“I… I was dropping off some stuff at the tavern and asked Flissa about you since I hadn’t seen you all day,” he replied slowly.
He wasn’t really sure what kind of reaction he was expecting, but Lily rolling her eyes was not it.
“And I imagine she also told you about the exciting events that occurred in the meeting this morning?” she asked flatly, raising a brow.
The sarcastic bite in her voice made him raise his eyebrows in return. It was the first time he had seen that familiar spark since they were kids, and if he was being honest with himself, he was relieved and excited to see it.
Unfortunately, Lily seemed to misread his reaction and immediately turned her gaze down at the frozen lake again.
“I’m sorry,” she sighed, closing her eyes. “I - I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“Don’t apologize,” Raphael quickly replied. “Trust me, I’m well aware that wasn’t directed at me.”
Lily looked up at him and searched his face for a moment before looking down at her half-eaten piece of bread.
“How much did she tell you?” she asked.
“The gist of it was that you and Cullen butted heads on something,” said Raphael, before biting into his apple. “The rest of it sounded like exaggerated rumors.”
“Of course,” Lily sighed. “I don’t know why I keep being surprised at how fast gossip spreads in small towns.”
That caught Raphael’s attention. She hadn’t yet mentioned where she had gone or what she did after leaving the Circle, and he was curious to know more.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Me and a couple of other mages traveled to a town called Amaranthine after leaving Ostwick, and we stayed there for… maybe two years?” she replied, as she furrowed her brows. The look on her face turned pensive, almost sad. “It was more than enough time to learn about rumor mills.”
Raphael stared at her for a moment before forcing himself to swallow a mouthful of apple.
“You were in Amaranthine?”
Lily’s thoughtful expression turned into one of concern as she looked back at him.
“Yes,” she said hesitantly. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” Raphael quickly replied. Perhaps a little too quickly, judging by Lily’s slight frown. The guilt made itself known once again as he sighed and glanced down at the lake, which appeared to have fish he hadn’t noticed before swimming below the frozen surface. “I just… That was the first town I stayed in after I left Ostwick, too.”
Understanding flickered in Lily’s face before she gave him a small smile.
“Of course,” she said quietly, as she huffed a quiet chuckle. “There was an innkeeper there who asked me if I had visited the town before on the night we arrived. I apparently looked familiar to him.”
Raphael smiled as he remembered the man who was kind enough to help him after he managed to escape Ostwick. It never once crossed his mind back then that the same man would eventually help Lily as well.
Damn it, he should have stayed.
“Sounds like we missed each other by a couple of years,” he murmured, as he stared down at his lap.
Lily’s firm voice made him look back up at her in surprise.
“No,” she said, as she shifted to face him and shook her head. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t feel guilty over anything that has happened.” There was steel in her expression, and for a second Raphael was reminded of her mother. His aunt. “None of it was your fault.”
Raphael swallowed, but it had no effect on the lump that had formed in his throat. He wished he could believe her, but he didn’t want to accept the comfort she was offering, not when he knew she had also been living with guilt of her own for so long.
“It wasn’t yours, either.”
Lily’s face faltered at his words and she looked away, turning her gaze back down towards the swimming fish.
“I know,” she said quietly.
It didn’t take much for Raphael to realize she didn’t believe her own words, but he understood just how much it was easier said than done. They sat in silence for a little while before he noticed she was staring at the training soldiers in the far distance with a somewhat frustrated and downtrodden expression.
He scowled when he realized she was most likely thinking back to what happened with Cullen, and he inched her half of the uneaten apple closer to her in an effort to remind her to keep eating.
She glanced down at it and picked it up, though she didn’t make a move to eat it.
Raphael watched her for a moment before biting into a piece of bread topped with goat cheese.
“Whatever you two argued about, I’m sure he deserved it,” he declared, with a mouth full of bread.
Lily looked up from her apple, clearly amused.
“You don’t even know why we were arguing.”
“No, but he doesn’t exactly strike me as a reasonable type to begin with.” He hesitated when Lily’s face fell into a slight frown. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She sighed before taking a small bite of her apple.
“He just wasn’t happy about me recruiting the mages, and…” she trailed off as she chewed. “Let’s just say he seems to be… set in his ways.”
“That’s a very nice way of saying he’s a stubborn ass,” Raphael grinned.
“He’s very stubborn, but he’s not an ass,” retorted Lily, as she rolled her eyes. “I suspect he has his reasons for feeling the way that he does, but we’re going to have to clear the air since we need to keep working together.”
Raphael nodded in understanding.
“When do you think that’ll happen?” He asked.
“I’m not sure, but it needs to happen soon,” replied Lily. “There’s a lot of work to be done, and I can’t exactly push it aside just to avoid him.”
She sighed and rubbed at her forehead.
“I also need to not… yell at him this time,” she added.
Raphael huffed a small laugh as he thought back to when he saw Cullen shouting at the sparring soldiers.
“I suggest waiting a day or two, if you can,” he offered. “It would give the two of you some time to calm down.”
“I guess so,” said Lily. She took another bite of her apple before shifting in place to face him completely, and crossed her legs. “But enough about that. What were you up to while I was away?”
Raphael stared blankly at her for a few seconds, completely caught off guard by her question. He looked away as tried to figure out what to say so that Lily wouldn’t be upset about him shrugging off yet another bedrest order.
“Um… resting?”
Lily stared back at him with a flat expression.
“Really?” she asked. “So you didn’t take a tumble into some snow with a sack of potatoes, then?”
Raphael’s mouth popped open and he was getting ready to defend himself when he realized that there was no point in doing so. He felt his face warm as he thought about the day he had made an absolute fool of himself in front of Hannah, and sadly, it seemed like that memory wasn’t going to leave him alone anytime soon.
“How did you know about that?” he blurted.
Much to his surprise, Lily let out an actual laugh.
“Like I said before, word travels quick in small towns,” she said, as she reached into the bag for a piece of bread. “They also rarely shut up about things, too.”
Raphael shifted in place as he looked at her, not sure if she was about to give him a scolding for not listening to her.
“You’re not mad?” he asked hesitantly.
“I was never mad, I was worried,” replied Lily. “But I figured if you kept insisting to be up and about, it meant you were feeling better.”
“I am,” nodded Raphael with a smile.
They sat in companionable silence as they ate, and much to Raphael’s relief, Lily seemed to be having an easier time keeping everything down. The food he had brought with him was completely gone a little while later, and they both glanced over at the town when one of the afternoon bells sounded in the distance.
Lily sighed as she moved to get up.
“I better get these herbs back to Adan before it gets too late,” she said, as she adjusted the full pouch that was slung over her shoulder.
Raphael nodded as he stood and stretched his arms over his head.
“I’ll head back with you,” he said. “Flissa looked like she could use some help.”
He secretly hoped Hannah and Krem would be gone by the time he got there, but he wasn’t expecting luck to be on his side. He supposed he could just stick to the back room so he could avoid any other misunderstandings with her, but what if Flissa asked him to help her out front? What if Hannah was still there and -
Lily’s concerned voice snapped him out his spiraling thoughts.
“Are you okay?”
Raphael quickly nodded and waved a hand dismissively. It didn’t seem like Lily knew about his run-in with Hannah yet, and he didn’t want her to worry about it.
“Yep,” he replied. “Shall we get going?”
The look she gave him made it clear that she didn’t really believe him, but he was grateful that she didn’t pry. She gave him a small nod before slowly walking towards the hidden path back to Haven, and he fell into step beside her once they reached the small forest.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” said Lily, as she reached into her coat pocket, pulling out a small, glass jar filled with elfroot salve. “Adan mentioned you ran out a few days ago.”
Raphael was about to tell her that he was already completely healed and that it really wasn’t necessary, but Lily merely placed the jar in his hand with a small, cheeky grin before he could even get the words out.
“You should have it ready in case you decide to carry more potatoes around.”
I’ve been toying with this assassin’s creed/dragon age crossover au for a while, and tonight I was inspired enough to kick my writer’s block in the balls and write a little blurb. So here ya go :D
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Lily x Cullen, 606 words
(Mutual pining)
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“How long do you have?”
“A few minutes. I...” A pause. “W-was there something you needed?”
She should have said yes. Instead, she had shaken her head and watched the ship’s crew prepare to undock the vessel that would be heading for Ferelden. They stood quietly next to each other until it was time for him to leave, and all she could do was wish him luck on his journey before mounting her mare and turning to leave.
Little did he know she had merely guided her horse up the grassy and sandy incline before stopping just behind a large tree, and watched as the boarded ship began to drift away from the shoreline.
She had stayed there long after the ship disappeared behind some rocky hills, and found herself visiting that very spot every night for weeks afterwards.
Why? She wasn’t sure.
Or rather, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for the answer.
The heavy feeling in her chest remained despite her reluctance to delve into the meaning behind it, and it weighed on her even more with every visit to that shoreline. Any evidence of him and his ship was long gone, any possible tracks in the sand trampled by other people or swept away by the elements.
The thought alone made her chest constrict and caused her eyes to sting.
Enough.
She guided her mare back up the slope and took the dirt path that led into town using the darkness of the night sky as her cover. Wind whipped at her face as she nudged her horse into a gallop, effectively drying whatever tears she managed to blink away. She would not be returning to where they said their goodbyes again.
Her mare slowed to a trot as they neared the unguarded entrance to Antiva City, and soon they were well on their way towards the inconspicuous hideout that was on the edge of the town. The streets were mostly empty due to the late hour, and she quietly led her mare into the stables behind the loud tavern before slipping in through the back entrance and making her way towards the isolated room where Raphael was undoubtedly waiting for her.
After a quick glance at her surroundings, she pushed open the door and found him sitting at the small dining table, fletching his arrows. He looked up at her and gave her a small, sad smile, just as he always did whenever she arrived from her nightly trips to seashore.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
She didn’t answer as she turned to settle her bladed spear against the wall, and her body betrayed her by releasing a small, shaky breath.
They were both silent for a few seconds before Raphael sighed quietly behind her.
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
It was times like these when part of her hated that he could read her so well.
She shook her head as her eyes scanned some missives on the desk next to her, forcing herself to push everything out of her mind in preparation for the night ahead.
“What’s done is done.”
“Our work takes us all over the place, you know. You’re bound to see Cullen again sooner or later,” said Raphael.
The name alone was enough to make her chest tighten, but she brushed it aside. Now wasn’t the time for her to be wallowing in her sadness.
She turned back to Raphael, who was looking at her with a familiar sympathetic expression.
“Has Zevran sent word?” she asked.
Raphael looked back at her for a moment and nodded. “He’s waiting for us near the fort. We strike in exactly one hour.”
