Dear Foreigners, We Renounce All of You
Rapid Bucarest in Romania have elected to terminate the contracts of all its foreign players in an effort to reduce their wage bill. "We renounce all foreigners," manager Danut Perja said, explaining now ex-players will be notified via email that their contracts will not be honored.
We have a copy of that email:
From: Danut Perja <[email protected]> Subject: Your immediate unemployment Date: December 18, 2012 0:00:01 CEST To: Recipient List Suppressed;
DEAR FORMER RAPID PLAYER:
SURPRISED YOU ARE NOW FORMER? OF COURSE, WE ARE NOT.
IT CAME TO OUR ATTENTION SOME TIME AGO THAT YOU WERE NOT BORN IN THE BUCURESTI AREA. IN OUR GREAT BENEVOLENCE, WE OVERLOOKED THIS FOR SOME TIME.
WHEN WE SCOUTED YOU, WE LOOKED THE OTHER WAY.
WHEN WE SIGNED YOU, WE QUIETLY HOPED YOU WOULD RECTIFY THE PROBLEM.
AS YOU PLAYED FOR RAPID, WE ASSUMED THE PROBLEM HAD BEEN RESOLVED.
HOWEVER, IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT YOU REMAIN NOT BORN IN BUCURESTI, A SAD STATE THAT HAS FORCED FATE TO CAST OUR CLUB INTO BANKRUPTCY AND MID-TABLE MEDIOCRITY.
HOW COULD YOU? YOU'VE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME TO BE BORN IN BUCURESTI, YET YOU PERSIST WITH BEING FOREIGN. HOW ARE OUR FANS SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT THIS?
WE HAVE ELECTED TO RESTORE THE CLUB'S PRIDE. WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT, YOU ARE NO LONGER UNDER CONTRACT TO THE CLUB.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GO UPSTAIRS TO YOUR APARTMENT. WHILE YOU WERE READING THIS, WE HAVE CHANGED THE LOCKS ON YOUR RESIDENCE.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRIVE YOUR CAR. IT HAS BEEN REPOSSESSED.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SEEK SUPPORT FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND. SHE HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO ANOTHER PLAYER.
I WILL KEEP YOUR DOG.
YOU ARE FREE TO RETURN TO YOUR FOREIGN LANDS. AS A GESTURE OF THE CLUB'S BENEVOLENCE, WE SHALL SEEK NO FURTHER COMPENSATION FOR THE DAMAGE CAUSED BY YOUR UNFORTUNATE BIRTH.
SINCERELY,
DANUT PERJA MANAGER RAPID BUCURESTI FOTBALL CLUB