So...
Hi.
I don't know where to start.
Frankly, I'm ashamed.
...
I guess I should get to the bottom line.
I'm roughly $800 in a hole, and that hole is getting deeper.
How the heck did that happen? one would ask. Don't you have work?
I do... and I was fine up until September. (It's always September, isn't it?)
I was helping a family member out of an emergency jam at the time and chose to take out a loan to help. I thought I would be able to cover the payments with the commission work I had been using to supplement my income... an income which barely covered my part of the rent in the past, mind; my housemates have been picking up my slack since things started going downhill.
Looking back, I realize I chose the worst time to be altruistic, because commission work dried up in September and I haven't gotten another customer since.
Things aren't good. I've lost my insurance due to missing my premiums. I'm in collections with the loan shop. My bank is about ready to close my account, and I kind of need that account for work and business... I've even caught my housemates talking about kicking me out. The stress and worry from all this madness has put a real hamper on my ability to write and create--the backbone of my commission work and a core piece of what's kept me sane for this long.
Well, it’s your own fault. one would say. I agree with you, and I tried fixing the mess by myself. Long story short, the cosmos said ‘nope’.
Pride's kept me from reaching out. Feeling like I’m doing something wrong has contributed to my hesitation. Fear that my next of kin might catch wind of this predicament has also kept me silent. (FYI: If you know me IRL, please, don't say anything to anyone out there. Rumors can kill a person and they're impossible to erase.)
... but because of my silence, I've found that my back has been shoved up against a spiked wall and frankly (pardon me using lots of metaphor), I've lost all trust casting my net over this side of the boat. I have cast my net out here before and I've pulled it up empty and full of seagrass. I have been praying for a miracle (like better work, for one) ... but I've either missed the opportunity or I was too blind to see it (or too lazy/proud to accept it).
I honestly don't know what to say or do, except open my doors once again.
If you want to help, thank you. Here's my commissions dossier if you want to hire me: http://fav.me/dbt9xcp If you just want to donate, here's my Ko-fi page: https://ko-fi.com/halcyonlioness And another donation option: https://www.youcaring.com/kalialeonhardt-1039586
Again, to any who choose to throw their hat into the ring with me, thank you. You’re helping me out more than you know
If you don't, please, at least spread the word. Reblog, retweet, ask someone that might be able to help.
And to everyone, even if you can’t lend a hand, please keep me in your thoughts (and prayers, if you’re the praying kind.) I ... I don't have high hopes. I’m expecting more silence and upset people, and I fear that I might be treading on or abusing other peoples’ kindness. I know this is the season of miracles, but I'm in a place where I can't afford to roll dice anymore. ... my fate's pretty much in your hands now, everyone. Please, be kind.
With all that said, in the end, what will be will be. Thank you, again, cats 'n' kittens, for putting up with me and these predicaments I keep winding up in. I can only hope your fortunes are better than mine.
As always ... have fun, be safe, stay awesome, and love always.
~Lioness