I’ve just re-read one of my favourite fics featuring Ryuk and Light, and I reckon you might like it, so if you haven’t come across this one before, here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13859592/chapters/31881639
In case the link doesn’t work, the work is titled “Apples Equals Cyanide Equals Light”, written by silverpard on AO3. Honestly, it’s well worth a read. But I’d better stop talking about it.
Take care! Bye!
People keep recommending me this fic! Thanks anon. I have read it - and I do think it's worth a read for Ryuk/Light shippers, even though it's not explicitly Terraito (but the dynamic between them is still very much of the kind I like seeing, more affectionate than a lot of people write them). Hang on let me just repost that link in a more clickable form:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
How do you a Death Note memory loss Light would react to Ryuk?
I think the emotions would be positive. But also that Light would probably be weirded about by meeting Ryuk and instantly feeling comfortable/relieved/familiar/happy/whatever emotion etc, particularly if he's meeting Ryuk in a context where other people are also seeing the Shinigami and freaking out.
The real unhappiness would be whenever Light puts together 'familiarity with a death god' and gets 'I'm probably Kira' unless he's in deep denial about it.
Do you think they could pull of schemes like this? Either planned pre memory shuffle or improvised?
Oh this is such an interesting question, thank you! Answer behind a cut because this got hecking long:
Light and Ryuk, though? Oh, I think that would be very different. Because from their very first meeting, Light has trusted Ryuk like he trusts nobody else, ever. He lets Ryuk see him genuinely afraid, angry, tired, stressed, worried, doubting himself - all states of mind that he tries to mask from everyone else. Sure, he gets superficially annoyed with Ryuk at times, but he never, ever tells Ryuk to go away, leave him alone, or get out of his business (people write him doing it all the time in fanfic, but in the manga canon it just doesn't happen). Also, he's completely fearless of Ryuk, to the point that Ryuk even comments on it.
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I think the answer to this has to key off what we know of Death Note memory erasure, which is that you forget your conscious memory of the Death Note, and you forget your shinigami, but - as Rem very explicitly warns Misa, and as you mention above - you will still keep your feelings. Specifically in Misa's case her love for Light, which very much turns out to be true, so I think we can say this is definitely how it works. Whatever you feel for someone when you have your memories intact, you'll still feel for them with your memories gone. This is why I find the Yotsuba bathroom scene with Rem and Misa so heartbreaking. Misa apparently never held any real love or trust for Rem, because she reacts with unqualified terror and revulsion when Rem appears to her. She only calms down once Rem explains the situation; and even then she's still quick to declare that she "doesn't want to be loved by a shinigami" and only shows appreciation for Rem insofar as Rem is being helpful to Light and Misa. Rem's love left no mark on Misa and no echo in her soul - Misa's default feelings for her are still only fear and disgust. ;_;
And significantly, Light expresses appreciation for Ryuk's honesty - in response to Ryuk saying that not talking to Light would be even harder than going without apples. We consider it a meaningful gesture of will and devotion when a human places a loved one above an addiction; so, IMO, we shouldn't see it as any less when a shinigami does the same. That's the depth of Ryuk's emotional bond to Light, and Light, while he doesn't offer a confession of his own in reply, nonetheless thanks Ryuk for telling him as much. That moment honestly reminds me of nothing so much as the famous Star Wars "I love you." "I know."
So yeah. I think Light knows, in both his head and heart, how deeply Ryuk is attached to him; and he returns that attachment, unspoken, in how he lets Ryuk fully into his life without any pushback. I think he trusts Ryuk and feels safe with him; feels seen by him, but in a way that's comforting and validating and supportive, rather than threatening. (Since Ryuk is always very quick to praise, admire and encourage Light, especially when Light is doing things that other humans would not be so ready to appreciate...)
So, to return to the actual question you asked: I think that's all what would come to the surface, if Light without his memories met Ryuk again somehow. I think he'd immediately feel like Ryuk is someone safe, someone he can trust, even with no idea of why. How this would play out, though... well, obviously it would depend partly on what Ryuk actually said or did, but you make a good point about whether Light would realise he was Kira based on the apparent connection between himself and a shinigami. It would be a logical thought to have - and Yotsuba Light is already halfway to figuring it out at times anyway, so Ryuk's appearance might be enough of a nudge for him to get the rest of the way.
But Light's "I meant to do that" game is unmatched, so I suspect he'd probably be okay with that realisation faster than you might expect. One thing about Light that doesn't change at all, whether he's got the Death Note or not, is that he thinks he can be trusted to be an exception to the rules that bind everyone else. So I think he might actually be relieved, in a weird way, to find out that he'd been the original Kira - because if it was him, then at least the original Kira is now a known variable who can be trusted to do only things that Light himself would think are a good idea. XD (Not to mention that I think Kira!Light must have considered the possibility that his memoryless self would somehow learn the truth, and had faith in that version of himself to cope with that knowledge if it happened...)
As for whether Light and Ryuk could still pull off some kind of scheme if Light didn't have his memories: 100% yes. No doubt in my mind at all. The two of them are so drift compatible that I can't see it being a problem for Light to improvise around Ryuk even without his memories, and Ryuk is a lot smarter than he usually pretends - notice that while he often asks Light to explain things, he never needs Light to explain twice. Once he's seen how the trick is done, he always gets it. And in part 2, when he's with the taskforce, we see that he's quite capable of saying the right things to keep a scheme working even when he's put on the spot by someone else and Light can't prompt him.
So yeah there's a ton of options for stuff that could happen between them, and I think a lot of it could be fun. I do actually have a fic knocking around in my drafts that's Yotsuba-arc Terraito smut, even - based on the premise that if they'd had a previous sexual relationship, Light's subconscious reaction to Ryuk would, shall we say, reflect those emotions as well. XD I don't know if I'll finish/post that one as it's deeply self indulgent, but it was definitely fun to play with; particularly Light being confused and dismayed by finding himself attracted to a monster, but giving in anyway because somehow he's certain it's a good idea. (Also I love playing around with sexual initiation and corruption as kink material, so getting to have what amounts to two first times with the same lover because you lost your memories inbetween? Oh heck yes. 🔥)
Anyway, thank you very much for asking this and making me think about it! I hope this ramble of a reply was satisfactory. XD
Fanfiction trope: Enemies to Lovers (no friends in between!)
Gonna have to rate that, uh... something that's in between A and C but isn't B, because while one of my all-time signature ships is famously this (and led to the ship tag "nemesis with benefits" which still makes me grin every time) - there is so much enemies to lovers fic out there that I find just plain awful. I love it when it's done as "we have more in common than not, we understand and respect each other, we both see admirable qualities in each other - what if we tried leaning into that?" and the conflict and tension comes from two people who are fundamentally kindred spirits being divided by external barriers, conflicted loyalties, etc. I love it when I can see how both characters can offer the other one something they desperately want - enough so as to justify a moral or ideological leap of faith that goes against whatever they've believed in or stood for until now.
But a lot of enemies to lovers fic is, uh... not like that, shall we say. >_> If I feel like the characters themselves don't actually want it and are being railroaded by the plot, I'm out - I hate that thing where someone's internal narrative is like "ugh whyyyy am I finding him hot when I hate hiiiiim" because to me that feels like the author doesn't know why the character would find their enemy hot either, and is just forcing it to happen anyway. That's an instant x-out for me. Likewise scenarios where only one character compromises or sacrifices anything - I don't want to see A go from B's mortal enemy to their domesticated Stepford-wife while B doesn't have to change at all. (Certainly not if it's obvious that the author wasn't intending to write it as horror, ahem.)
So yeah, basically one of my ultimate favourite tropes when written well but I am incredibly picky about it. XD Thank you for the ask!
To the anon who sent me the ask a little while back about the Death Note musical btw: thank you! <3 I'm going to save that for later viewing, since I'm seeing the upcoming UK run live in August, and I'd kinda like to be unspoilered for the English version; but I'll definitely check it out and compare after!
(I will say though, anyone playing Ryuk will have to do a LOT to unseat Kotaro Yoshida in my heart. We shall see... ^_^)
hiii it’s the same anon from earlier!! I’m also an anon that was here a few months ago telling you about how I really love your JasHida writings, they’re my favorites, and how I don’t actually read a lot of fanfiction but I read yours a lot!! I’ve never kept up with a writer before now!! 🫶 I can come off anon if u want I just get nervous is all, it’s really nice of you to offer all that it’s making me shy, haha!! 💛
Oh, yes, I remember you! Hello and thank you again! <333 It's completely up to you whether you'd like to come off anon - I'd be happy to chat in DMs or whatever if you do want to, but I totally understand the nervousness so please don't feel obliged! <3
And I'm sorry it took me a couple of days to reply to this, I had to get to my PC where all my fic files are, but just for you here's a tiny snippet from a longfic I've been working on in which Hidan gets to meet his god face to face, while Jashin is (initially) disguised as a human. I'm nowhere near done with this fic honestly but I'm very invested in it and I really hope to get it finished eventually. So here's the reveal moment, where Hidan finally realises just who it is he's really talking to, heheh. No warnings, SFW.
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Torine turns his head away from the candlelight, his hair falling like a black silk screen, and as his face moves into shadow, a change passes over it. Flesh and skin melt away. His right eye becomes a gulf of black, ringed by moonlight-blue bone. Lips fade to nothingness over long, pointed dark fangs that glint like a palisade wall of iron.
That isn't henge. That isn't even a Jashin-given curse mark. That isn't any jutsu in this realm of existence. Hidan freezes, staring up at him, stricken with awe. "Torine-?"
The face above him smiles, on the side that still can: lips tugging upward, the one remaining eye creasing at its corner. "Hidan," the apparition says, very fondly, sounding almost amused.
Its voice is Torine's, and also not; the same but more, layered now with inhuman bass harmonics and a warping hiss like a failing audio tape, with the drip of black water and the splintering rustle of rotting bones. Hidan shivers as that voice twines its way up his spine, intoxicated by the cold thrill of it. "What - wait - fuck… Jashin-sama?!"
The spectral smile only deepens. "My Hidan," that voice murmurs, soft as the deadly caress of falling snow.
‘Your favorite ao3 writer drops a 100k word fic of your ship’ but… navigatorsghost… what if… /kicks a rock shyly/ YOURE my favorite ao3 writer… 🥺
!!!! dsdfghj omg WHO is this?! thank you so much anon! 😳🥺💖💗💝💓
I really truly wish I could offer to write you a 100k fic right here and now, but unfortunately I know myself too well and I would absolutely be passing cheques my brain can't cash if I said that. 😭 HOWEVER if you tell me which ship you have in mind I will gladly go through my files and either find you a snippet from my drafts if I've got any suitable ones, or see if I can write something short from scratch for you...
For the Music Asks... 3, 7, 9, 13, 18, 23, 28, 29!
Sorry Koi, you sent this ages ago and then when I'd nearly finished answering Tumblr ate most of my draft and I was so discouraged I forgot about it. >_> Here we are finally. Behind a cut so as not to swamp everyone with Youtube links...
3: A song that reminds you of summertime - The 69 Eyes "Wings and Hearts" because I bought the album it's on, Angels, while I was in St Louis, Missouri years ago, staying with a friend in the heart of the single hottest, deepest Summer my pasty English ass has ever experienced. That vacation was one of the best things I've ever done in my life and I carry that whole album, but this song in particular, as a cherished reminder of it.
7: A song to drive to - I have to give this to E Nomine. "Mitternacht" on a winter's night on an empty moorland road, nothing but snow and moonlight and headlights in the dark... oh hell yeah. Play loud to get the full effect:
9: A song that makes you happy - This is a real "where do I start" question, but I'm going to pick Demonaz's "Demonized". On a purely musical and emotional level it brings me a great deal of quiet joy just to listen to, but it's also special to me because it was part of the first recorded output in literally years from Demonaz, the original guitarist and lyricist of Immortal, who back in the 2000s we all feared would never perform again after he got severe tendon damage from... well, playing in Immortal, basically. :( But he switched to vocals instead so he could do his own side project, and I can't listen to this or the rest of the demo it's on without remembering the shock and joy among my then social circle when we first heard about it. And it's such a beautiful song as well:
13: One of your favorite 80’s songs - Obviously I like a lot of songs that were released in the eighties, I like classic metal. >_> But that said, I feel like this question is meant to target songs that are more generally recognised as "eighties" rather than just songs that happened to come out in that decade soooo let's split the difference: eighties pop but make it metal. "You Spin Me Round", originally by Dead Or Alive but let's have the Dominum cover version:
18: A song from the year that you were born - And now you all find out how old I really am. >_> There's a weird shortage of albums I actually love from 1980 but I'm going to go with a song that, while kinda outside my usual remit, feels like it fits me perfectly because I've always been joyfully unfashionable in my musical tastes. Billy Joel, "It's still Rock'n'Roll to me"!
23: A song that you think everybody should listen to - Dissection, "Black Dragon" (all of Reinkaos really, but this song... hnnngh, chills, every time. "Tohu, Tehom, Theli, Than... Leviathan, Tanin'iver, TANINSAM-!")
28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love - Iron Maiden, "Fear of the Dark". Specifically, this live version, from the album A Real Live One. Bruce Dickinson's voice is incredible in general but I love this particular cut because you get to hear not only his singing voice, but also how magnetic he is as a frontman. In the slow part at the beginning, he's not shouting or exhorting the audience to sing - there's just that soft "You," and the entire crowd answers him. This is literally a whole arena in the palm of one man's hand. I've been in the crowd for him doing it at other shows and it's absolutely incredible every time.
29: A song that you remember from your childhood - How about the song that turned me into a rock fan in the first place, when I was about... six or something? T-Rex, "Metal Guru". I think this is the first song tiny-me ever liked that adult-me will still defend to the death. Marc's voice here is silver and gold just like it is on everything he ever touched, and I love the swing and lilt and pure joy of the melody and rhythm lines. I think if I was dying in a ditch and heard this song being played out of the window of a passing car I'd still manage a smile.
