#rawr mine

[lifeinmyworldx10]

It’s often the most simple things that remind us how much we care about people and how much they care for us. Today was hard getting back into the groove of the office after being out for 5 days. I randomly received a blank picture of the sudoku book we frequently do together when laying in bed at night relaxing. I miss her so much already, but these simple texts help to pass the time. Thankful to have such an amazing person in my life is an understatement.

[lifeinmyworldx10]

I knew it would be hard when you left, but when you find someone who is nothing you’ve ever expected and everything you have always wanted, time is always worth the wait.

[lifeinmyworldx10]

[lifeinmyworldx10]

I forget how bad my anxiety gets and then I have moments like today, where I can barely get myself to go to my own birthday event because there will be one new person there. Ugh I wish I could stop this.

[lifeinmyworldx10]

my body feels heavy,

my head feels heavy,

my heart feels heavy.

I know in time the feeling leaves, but I wish I didn’t love so hard and care so deep. This pain is horrible. It feels unrelenting, like it will never end.

I can’t eat.

I can’t sleep.

My body can’t find peace, yet.

[lifeinmyworldx10]

You asked me to be patient, and I told you I will do the best I can. Two days later, and I’m still torn up in the calmest way. I’m constantly in pain, like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I love you, more than I can put into words to accurately articulate my feelings.

13 days left till I see you, till I figure out what to do. I don’t have the answers now and I doubt I’ll have the answers then.

[lifeinmyworldx10]

Why is it that when all the sudden you think you are in a good place, life starts to crumble around you?

[lifeinmyworldx10]

4/26/19 You talked to me like it was any other day. Only problem is, you managed to leave out some pretty major details. 19 days later, I feel so dumb for trusting you, again. Uncontrollably shaking, I cannot conjure up a single sentence in my mind that is cohesive. It’s like emotions are flying in my head, right past me and the moment I think of something, I blurt it out. I manage to stay calm and collected, for the most part. It doesn’t make sense to me. Two days ago you were talking about the future and today you remind me that good people can do such selfish things.