Set in the Pretty Privilege universe but not essential to that story’s plot. Can be read standalone.
Masterlist
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Ray hadn’t noticed it in six years.
He prided himself on being a smart guy, always had. Near perfect SAT scores in school and he graduated suma kum laudi from Syracuse University. Ray always noticed little details like how his wife had always brushed her hair behind her ear when she felt bashful and how Sami would always sort his M&M’s before eating them. His reports at work were thorough, he always came up with the best interrogation strategies, he could parallel park really well.
Ray had worked in the NYC bureau for nearly ten years and making friends had never come easy. FBI agents were cocky, especially field ones, and that sort of personality was never something Ray could align with. He was a family guy, the protector, the one who shouldered the burden even if no one asked him to. He wasn’t a show off and he certainly wasn’t full of himself. His first partner was Carter, fresh out of Quantico just like Ray and unlike the other guys Carter was sweet. He grew up in Nebraska and was the first person in his family to go to college. Two years into their partnership Carter was killed on duty when he was scouting a building that was rigged to explode.
After Carter, Ray stayed a little distant from everyone else. Still friendly, still polite, but he didn’t let himself get overly attached and decided to focus his attention on family rather than work.
Six years ago Benjamin Poindexter was promoted to Special Agent and moved off the swat team and instead used as a sniper for the Criminal Investigative Unit, Ray’s department, and at first glance Ray thought Dex was like most guys in the office. Dex was a little cocky, always bragged about winning in darts when they went to the bars and seemed to get a little but of pleasure when he was able to cuff someone. Special Agents thrived off of holding power over people, or at least that’s what Ray had learned over the years.
But Dex was a lot more quiet than the others. He came into work at the exact same time every day and moved around the office like every step, every adjustment of the hand was pre-planned. Dex had a way of speaking that sounded a little rehearsed. He hated leaving work late and sometimes Ray overheard him mumble something about ‘being behind schedule’ when the coffee maker took longer than usual.
Ray had never considered Dex to be quirky, if anything he would say intimidating.
Dex was the team sniper for god sake. He spent most of his time at the gun range if he didn’t have to be at his desk and had the highest kill count of anyone on the team. Ray had read through his record in the army, Dex was highly regarded by his commanding officers and had taken part in some pretty gruesome operations. Dex was skilled at hand to hand combat, he could throw knives with scary accuracy, one time Ray witnessed Dex beat a man nearly to death during a sting operation.
Maybe that intimidation made Ray overlook some quirks. Or maybe it was because despite Dex’s impressive but also horrifying skill set he was the closest thing Ray had to a work friend.
Sure Dex could be on edge most of the time but Ray would prefer being around that rather than Grant’s constant misogynistic comments or Thurman’s bad jokes. Dex was good at his job to a point it seemed like he was almost scared of fucking it up and to a degree Ray could relate to that. It also helped that Dex never left a mess in any of the squad cars and always paid Ray back for coffee or lunch, even if Ray insisted he didn’t have to. He wasn’t the type to open up about his personal life but neither was Ray. It was a functional and pleasant work relationship and certainly the easiest in Ray’s mind.
Dex seemed normal enough but Ray wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t shocked when he learned Dex had started seeing someone.
In all fairness it just seemed like Dex was a little too rigid to be the type of guy who dates. He seemed to have sort of a strict schedule to some capacity and had an obsession with sniper rifles that Ray found intense. Some agents were players, some were family oriented, and some were so devoted to work that either they didn’t have a partner or would focus all their attention to the job that they’d end up divorced. Maybe it was because Ray was so used to other colleagues being so open with their attraction to a woman, even if they were married, that Dex’s lack of opinion on the matter made Ray subconsciously think that Dex fit into the third category.
Around spring last year Dex had been acting a little less stressed out and a little more chipper. He didn’t zone out during briefings and wasn’t so edgy when a coworker made a stupid comment. Ray thought he had Dex all figured out when he correctly guessed that Dex had started seeing someone, patting himself on the back for keeping such good tabs on his coworker.
“She keeps me sane.” Dex had said during that stakeout.
Good for Dex, he deserves it. Ray had thought to himself, still riding the high of how insightful he thought he was.
At the holiday party he had the pleasure of meeting the girlfriend even though it was brief. Parties of that size had never been Ray’s thing and it always felt embarrassing seeing his bosses drunk. Everyone had been especially rowdy since it had been such a successful year, Ray had even gotten a promotion due to his involvement in leading the major Albanian Mob case. He was shocked that Dex had even gone to the party since he had been known to skip it in the past but Ray assumed he wanted to show off his girlfriend and prove she was real since some of the guys doubted it.
Ray thought you seemed sweet. You had a pretty smile and it was sweet that you talked with Seema for the majority of the time while he and Dex made polite talk about work and holiday plans. Dex always let Ray gush about Sami with no complaint when most of the other guys didn’t want to hear it or weren’t really listening, but Dex always gave him his full attention. Before heading out he told you that Dex had been a lot less grumpy ever since you entered the picture, which was true, and it all seemed so normal.
“Poor Dex having to prove himself.” Ray mused on the drive home, one hand on the wheel while the other held Seema’s warm hand. “Some of the guys thought he was lying about having a girlfriend when he canceled on plans to get drinks after a case.” Seema laughed and squeezed his fingers.
“Yeah she seemed really sweet, kind of odd but that makes sense for him.” Seema said off handedly. The comment wasn’t out of a place of malice, Seema would never, but it did give Ray pause.
“Makes sense?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the road. It had begun to snow again and while it did make the evening romantic it also made people drive like idiots.
“Yeah, y’know, because Dex is kind of awkward too.” She says with a smile. “They fit well together. Makes you realise there really is someone for everyone.”
Never in all six years of knowing him Ray had ever pegged Dex as ‘awkward’. Not that there was anything wrong with awkward, everyone had potential to be awkward, but that was never a defining trait of Dex. Dex was intense, all sharp, pointed edges framed by a cheek dimple and a smile that could only be described as eerie. Awkward felt blunt. Awkward meant weird.
Come to think of it though Dex was kind of weird.
Dex knew way too much about assault rifles. Dex remembered what shirt Ray wore on a specific day three months ago. Dex was never afraid to get violent on a case. The joke in the office was that Dex never missed a shot but in all truth, Dex never missed. Anything. Not the trashcan on the street, not at cornhole, not the paper targets at the range. His aim wasn’t just impressive, it was uncanny in a way that felt uneasy.
Upon further reflection Ray realized that Dex sounded scripted most of the time and when he was caught off guard he’d flush all the way up to his cheeks and wouldn’t make eye contact. Dex was always scowling and if he wasn’t scowling he was staring with a kind of a wide-eyed expression that made you shift your stance. Sometimes it felt like Dex was on the verge of falling apart especially when things weren’t going along to whatever plan he created in his head that no one was privy to. He never stayed late to get togethers and often declined social events. Intensity wasn’t why Ray filed Dex away as someone who wasn’t romantic, awkwardness was.
Seema’s observation didn’t necessarily shock Ray but it did make him look at Dex just a little differently. Dex was no longer this unreachable, mysterious figure in Ray’s work life and instead was little more human. When Dex made an impossible shot with his rifle Ray could only think about how Dex stuttered when talking to the barista the morning prior. Nobody was perfect, and if Dex was able to get a girlfriend as nice as you then the awkwardness didn’t really matter.
Six months later you were at Ray’s house.
After almost a year the pool was finally installed in the backyard. Not only was it an in-ground pool but there was also a hot tub and Ray’s brother helped him refinish the deck. Sami and his friends had broken in the new addition to the backyard the weekend prior but this time it was the adult’s turn complete with family and friends as well as a select few of Ray’s work colleagues. Ray and Seema prided themselves on throwing a good party and a gorgeous backyard complete with an in-ground pool was practically the American dream.
Asking Dex was a no brainer despite the fact that Ray assumed he would say no. But instead he was pleasantly surprised when Dex asked, “Could my girlfriend come?”
“Yeah man, of course.” Ray smiled, and Dex said he would ask you when he got home but the answer was probably yes. Apparently you enjoyed swimming but didn’t have a ‘pool connection’ which made Ray laugh. The next day Dex said the two of you would be there and three weeks later you were sharing a pool lounger with Dex in Ray’s backyard.
You had brought a tray of the most fudgy brownies Ray had ever tasted and kept to yourself for the majority of the party, speaking with Seema for a little while before lounging with Dex on a chair. While the crowded backyard hummed around you Ray watched as the two of you sat ramrod straight next to one another, talking in quiet conversation all while watching the party-goers. After an hour of sitting the both of you got up and slid into the pool which of course was barren because most adults were lounging in the hot tub rather than actually swimming.
In between conversations with friends Ray watched as the two of you swam laps silently then treaded water in the deep end. He tried reading Dex’s lips to figure out what you were discussing. After a minute Ray saw Ben mouth the distinct words ‘designated marksman rifle’ and it occurred to him that Dex was reciting facts about weapons to you while you nodded along intently.
When Ray came back outside he saw that you were doing a handstand in the pool and Dex was counting. When you resurfaced Dex then started doing a handstand while you counted the seconds he was able to hold the position. The back and forth went on for almost fifteen minutes until both of you were flushed and a little giggly from it all.
Later you were out of the pool and Ray found himself embroiled in a conversation with you about cats. He mentioned that he grew up with them which made your face light up when you got the chance to speak about your own cat, Penny, a small tabby cat that you had since she was a kitten. Ray had to lean in close to listen to the low murmur of your voice as you flicked through various pictures on your phone, mostly of Penny lounging by a window and a few of her sitting on Dex’s lap. Ray never would’ve pegged Dex as a cat guy, he figured he didn’t like pets in general, but he seemed smitten with your cat as a picture of him holding her was your lock screen.
“I just like how independent they are.” You said as you picked at the tab of your soda can that was sweating into your hand. Unlike Dex who was known to make intense eye contact during conversation you were apparently the type who avoided it, directing your attention to literally anything else besides Ray’s face. “Litterboxes also aren’t gross as long as you take care of them, it’s better than having to take her outside to poop when it rains. Plus she keeps herself so clean and doesn’t smell like yeast unlike dogs.”
“Growing up we always had a cat in the house, at one point we even had four.” Ray said, sipping his own beer as you awed at the statement. “Sami has been begging for a dog but Seema is worried about one wrecking the house and I don’t know if I can deal with the maintenance.”
“It’s nice that most cats are lower energy. Just don’t get a kitten, get an adult one and the shelters have tons that need homes. If our apartment allowed for more pets I would certainly get another.”
“I never would’ve guessed that Dex hangs out with a cat so much. He never has hair on him.” Ray muses, you pause then let out a breathy laugh along with him, like you were waiting for permission to laugh because you were unsure if he was joking or not. After you start bending the soda tab so much it eventually pops off, Ray pretends not to notice.
“Yeah he lint rolls his clothes twice before going to work. But apparently he started doing that before we even started dating.” You comment, smiling fondly at the idea of your boyfriend obsessively getting cat hair off his work clothes.
That evening Ray is sitting by the new fire pit with the remaining members of the party. Most people who were either too drunk or had to go back with their kids had left a few hours prior leaving Ray’s closest friends behind. Springsteen was playing over the bluetooth speaker and Seema was resting in Ray’s lap while someone fed the fire another log. Another successful Ray and Seema party for the books.
“I’m still shocked that she’s real.” Ray overhears Grant say before taking a sip of his beer. FOr a second Ray can’t figure out what he’s talking about until he recalls the way Thurman and Grant stared at you and Dex practically all afternoon. Like you were some sort of puzzle they couldn’t wrap their heads around.
“I’m not. At least not anymore.” Thurman comments. “They match each other’s freak.” This makes Grant laugh and Ray grimace. He wouldn’t call what the two of you had ‘matching each other’s freak’ as it sounded too cruel but in all honesty he couldn’t come up with a better way to describe it.
The two of you had left the party several hours prior, citing something about how you had to get home in time to feed the birds. You departed with a completely empty pyrex dish as everyone enjoyed your desert as well as a completely full tupperware of leftovers that Seema insisted you take.
“Did anyone else notice the two of them reorganizing the cooler at one point?” Thurman asked.
“Yes.” Seema piped up, “They rearranged it so perfectly they were able to fit another case of Coors into it. I’ve never seen such a tightly packed cooler.” She joked. The guys laughed again, somehow Ray was too busy to notice that ordeal.
“She seems sweet.” Ray muttered, trying to mention something nice so the conversation doesn’t get too pessimistic. The guys nodded in agreement at the statement which was true, you did seem sweet. Obviously you had a big passion for animals and Dex seemed a lot calmer when he was around you.
“A little standoffish but then again, so is Dex.” Thurman concluded. “Killer brownies though, I think I had three of them.”
By midnight everyone is gone and Ray is taking out the trash while Seema is getting ready for bed. The backyard has been cleaned up for the most part but both Ray and Seema are both too tipsy and too tired to finish tidying up and decide to finish the task in the morning before Sami comes home from his sleepover. When he gets upstairs to the bedroom he finds his lovely wife curled up in bed already drifting off and it reminds him how lucky he is that he found his someone, making him all the more happy that Dex was able to find you.
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I miss my dead wife Ray Nadeem. Come back to me Ray the kids miss you.
Thank you for all the likes and comments the past few weeks! This idea was given to me by @softyuujis so hopefully I did it justice. I wanted to play around with perspective in this oneshot so we could see what the relationship looked like from an outsider perspective. Weird girl reader my beloved.
