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no one could ever accuse me of not knowing an ent poem.

#you have to say four lines of the ents' marching song when it's ent marching time #you have to say it to your parents. you have to sound very pleased with yourself #box opener #rbox

i kind of feel about movie legolas the way i do about my moms cat. like, there’s our special boy! he loves to jump and climb on things!

#i bet legolas would love to sit on top of the printer and make copies.#box opener #rbox

the star wars prequels...... are a lot like the silmarillion

#it's about the realpolitik scenes you DON'T play.#box opener #rbox #star wars #bookbox

this is several days late but i think it’s important to be on the record that i *do* ship legolas/gimli

#box opener #rbox #i would hate to be misunderstood on this issue.

just spent a very relaxing evening giving my mom hand massages and explaining the plot of the silmarillion

#i got as far as the rescue of maedhros and then she had me skip to what actually happens to the silmarils #so i just did the luthien > dior > elwing >oh hey here's where we get elrond progression #and then tried desperately to recall the actual circumstances of the final maedhros/maglor retrieval #besides ''i guess...... the valar took the silmarils.... and put them in a tent? that i guess must have been in middle earth?''#''and they just broke into the tent.''#i think that's not right.#she seemed to find it all very relaxing though #she told me that instead of moving to boston i should stay and every night massage her hands and tell her a little more of the silmarillion #so that i'll live here forever.#i almost got distracted by the shibboleth while i was describing finwë's family but i resisted‚ manfully #box opener #rbox

ok i’m going to do it. i’m not going to make a sideblog, i’m just going to, you know, tag it with things like “the lord of the rings”, which should make it easy to blacklist. hopefully i will get this out of my system quickly since it turns out i actually can’t knit and read tolkien at the same time, because i am... too engaged. with the text.

also it will in no way be a liveblog since i already have.... material.... prewritten. it is merely a blog.

#at the least i can't knit cables. i suppose i haven't tried socks yet. that might be. more achievable.#Yes Virginia‚ We Are Doing This #box opener #do NOT unfollow me i'll run out of followthrough in the middle of the marshes or something it'll be fine.#rbox

this is the bit i was talking about before, where gandalf is definitely breaking some rules and/or really overemphasizing how much being a maia of extremely decreased circumstances gives him insight into the actions of Power Beyond The World in order to just say straight out “yeah god is directly causing these things to happen to you and bilbo personally, because you, as hobbits/hobbits with a touch of Elve, are especially equipped to succeed at ring-having.”

again, i know eru resurrects him & thus gandalf is even more our closest explicit connection to it in the books, but he’s So Embodied that imo there’s no way he’s doing any of this based on anything other than 1. dim memories of like, sheet music he memorized in the beginning of time or 2. just looking at random world events and going ‘yeah that has god vibes to it probably. that seems like something god would do. i would know, it used to be my children’s choir director, this is just like when it “reassigned” the vocal parts so that the disruptive maia wouldn’t be standing next to each other anymore.’)

anyway i’ve seen it alleged that “It is not.” is funny because it’s a register shift, but imo it’s not per se? it’s not like gandalf’s phrasing in those last couple of sentences is particularly High or anything. “‘It is not,’ said Frodo” is funny because imagining his delivery is fantastic, and frodo is funny as shit

#i've decided to it-pronouns the Tolkien God #because i think eru iluvatar having male pronouns is a weird fucked up hangover from like... idk #the odin thing or something. it feels like it defeats the out-of-the-world-ness of iluvatar as a force if it has ... a gender.#gender is Worldly.#lotr #rbox #box opener

i’m queueing these to spare you all slightly but as it turns out it takes me less than ten hours together to read the entirety of the lord of the rings so in reality i’m past halfway though the two towers rn and have to keep going back and writing the posts in batches

#i take the screenshots as i go so i can reconstruct the jokes based on whatever immediately springs to mind when i look at them #'jokes'#i'm so completely sincere about how much i love these books it's incredible #box opener #rbox

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