arthur, John and reader being Dutch's and Hosea's unruly children.
Arthur: heres a picture I took of Y/n and John Hosea: about time we had a good one Arthur: *shows another photo* and heres what happened the next moment. Hosea: is..is John arm in her mouth? Arthur: mhm __________
Y/n: Aba! he ruined my journal *pointing at John* John: I dId NoT! Hosea: *tired dad noises* _______
Y/n: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? John: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Arthur: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. John: Good thinking. Dutch: Dutch:i just want one normal breakfast.... _______
Hosea: good morning Y/n, how did you sleep?" Y/n: john kicked me in the gut so i took his sleeping bag and now hes floating down the river. Hosea: *eye twitch* riveting. wheres arthur? Y/n: watching john float down the river. _______
Arthur: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Y/n will and will not eat. John: Grass? Yes! Arthur: Moss? Yes!! John: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Arthur: Shoelaces? Strange but true! John: Worms? Sometimes! Arthur: Rocks? Usually nah. John: Twigs? Usually! Arthur: Hosea's cooking? Inconclusive! Dutch: How did you… test this? Arthur: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Dutch: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Hosea: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT? ________
Y/n: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? John: Several traffic violations. Arthur: Three counts of resisting arrest. Dutch: Roughly thirteen cups of coffee Hosea: Also, that’s not our horse _______
Y/n, banging on the door: John! Open up! John: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Arthur: No, they meant- Dutch: Let them finish. ______
Hosea, about John: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Y/n: Are we stealing them Arthur: New or used? Hosea: Wonderful responses, both of you. ______
Y/n: *Screams* John: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Hosea: Should we do something? Dutch: No, I want to see who wins.










