Friday; May 9th
Val sat up in her bed, eating the chicken mcnuggets she had picked up from McDonald’s less than half an hour earlier. She glanced over at the empty bed, opposite her own and sighed. Although she liked peace and quiet, a seemingly invisible roommate wasn’t fun.
She looked back down at her food, taking a handful of fries and shoving them into her mouth before facing upward to stare at her tv. She had just turned it on and was trying to figure out what she was watching.
Glancing down at her phone, she decayed whether or not to text Mia and Jo to come over and put her out of her lonely misery. She ultimately decided against it knowing they’d ask her to go over to their rooms if they were not busy.
She paid close attention to the tv as she watched Samantha Jones threw a melon accident out the glass window. Wait, how late is it? Why is Sex and the City on? She wondered, checking her phone for the time. 12:47am. She rolled her eyes throwing it on the opposite end of the bed. Maybe she did need to be nicer, more outgoing, more talkative. Maybe then she’d have more friends, not that she wanted any. Maybe her mother was right, she should be out enjoying the night with her friends. Friends she didn’t have. Her friends consisted of the two girls who could manage to room with her and actually have fun. Now they each had roommates, who she didn’t want to in her mind disturb. She’d just enjoy the night by herself somehow and watch some crime shows instated. Maybe she should stop that before people actually thought she was crazy, maybe not. As she finished her food she threw it in the empty bag, throwing it into the nearby trashcan. She settled back into bed, searching to see what was on. She hated being alone but didn’t click with many people. As she found that reruns of Disappeared were on. So this is probably why people thought she was strange but oh well. She checked to see what would be on the rest of the night and settled on that channel listening to the story of a girl who had gone missing somewhere in Michigan.
Natalia herself wasn't too much of a party person, the short raven haired girl found herself in the schools gym doing back flips on the gymnastics equipment and playing around till she wore herself out while the rest of the school probably attended some rager on campus. Before she had left for the gym, the room had been empty and Nat just assumed that Quinn had gone to hang out with Jared. Although most of the student body complained about the swap, she was the only one that didn't have a care in the world, finding herself squished up against the boy as the fell asleep talking nearly every night.
When she decided she had enough for the day, Nat walked across campus back to her shared room and instantly spotted the boy on his bed, book in hand. "Oh, did I miss story time?" She said teasingly, leaning against the frame with a subtle smirk on her face.
Warnings: Mention of brain tumours?? And many emotional moments.
Summary: Sharing a dorm together is awkward at first, but after talking, Seb learns something about Aria that changes a lot, and he ends up comforting her.
It was blatantly obvious to anybody who knew either Seb or Aria that neither of them wanted to be sharing a room that week. It had been almost two months since they’d broken up but they were still awkward around each other and there was clearly some tension. Sebastian didn’t want to hate Aria, despite all that had happened he still cared about her as a friend, but sharing a room was stretching it a little far anyway. Luckily, he’d barely seen the girl over the course of the week, by the time he’d woken up Aria was usually out, and with him going to see Meredith in the evenings by the time he was back Aria was usually in bed. It was just that circumstance as he came into the dorm, well into the night to see Aria in her bed, not sure if she was asleep or not, and not wanting to wake her if she was asleep.
When Aria had realized that she was going to be rooming with her ex boyfriend, the girl ended up smacking one of the comittee members. Even though she had not harsh feelings for Sebastian, she couldn’t help but feel awkward around him. Sharing four walls with him was the worst. The blonde got a kick out of making him squirm, but due to the fact that their schedules were so different, they never saw each other. Tonight Aria had ended up coming home from the gym earlier, she was supposed to see Travis but he hadn’t showed up, upset and exhausted, the blonde returned back to the dorm and jumped into bed, eyes locked on the wall when she heard Sebastian enter the room.
Sebastian was exhausted, not so much due to a hard week, he barely went to class anyway, it was just that he was always tired. Plus, with graduation getting even closer, and the fact that he was yet to even apply to college made it all even worse. The truth was, he had absolutely no idea what he was doing with this life and that started to scare him. As Seb sat in bed, he shot a glance over at Aria to see if she was awake or not, but it was pretty hard to tell. “Hey, you awake?” He asked softly, knowing that if she was, he’d be the last person she’d want to talk to, especially after the fact that Travis had apparently mysteriously left, leaving Aria ‘alone’ as she had said it, and he hated knowing that she might feel that, the feeling was all too familiar to Seb.
Aria flinched slightly, shocked to hear him even utter a word to her. The blonde quickly tabbed at her wet cheeks with the back of her hand before she turned over and sat up. “Yeah, what’s up?” She asked with a small sniffle, the junior avoided eye contact as she ran a hand loosely through her hair, Aria didn’t want to show her weakness, not even to someone that had once seen all her layers.
Seeing Aria sit and turn to face him, Seb noticed the look in her eyes and the way she was acting, something was clearly bothering her but Seb was unsure if it was his place to ask. “I’m fine.” He answered, raising an eyebrow at Aria, he knew her too well for her to pretend to be okay. “You’re not though. What is it?”
“Missing mom and dad.. that’s all” Aria simply lied, her family only lived about a short fifteen - twenty minutes away from the school, she could go see them whenever she pleased. “How’s Meredith?” She asked for once with out an attitude or tone, Aria couldn’t think of any other way for him to not worry or press on about her.
“Mhm, okay. You can go and see them though, right?” Seb asked, not sure if he believed what she was saying. He’d been to Aria’s home enough times to know that they lived pretty close by, but he didn’t want to push her, especially not about Travis, who he didn’t exactly get on with anyway, Seb never had liked him. If she didn’t want to talk about her new boyfriend then it was totally understandable, especially if things weren’t going okay. Hearing her ask about Meredith, Sebastian smiled slightly and nodded, “She’s great. We’re great.” He spoke, realising that Aria, for a first time, wasn’t actually being rude about his girlfriend.
Aria nodded slowly, giving him a small smile. “That’s nice, I’m happy that she makes you happy” She said softly before her eyes suddenly became preoccupied with her blankets as she sniffled. Deep down she knew that things with Travis really weren’t going to work out, in the three years she’d known him, he had never missed one of their training sessions ever, even when either of them were sick. Knowing that Sebastian and Meredith were still going strong made her feel somewhat jealous, wishing that she had what they had again
When he was talking about Meredith, Sebastian couldn’t help but smile, and he nodded, “Yeah, she really does. I am happy.” Part of him felt guilty, he knew that it made him sound like being with Aria made him unhappy, but it wasn’t what he meant at all, he was just in a bad place when they were together and things just weren’t working anyway. She was better off with Travis by far, Seb had always thought they were good together anyway. “So, uh, have you spoken to Travis lately?” He asked, breaking away eye contact, “How is he?”
“Dunno..” Aria answered quietly, nearly feeling like her throat was closing in on her for a moment as she thought about him. It took her awhile to realize how attached she had actually gotten to the older boy. “I haven’t spoken to him since last week… ” She confessed, finally looking up at him with tired brown hues that sported dark circles just on the skin below them “God, Seb.. I’m so sick of pretending like things are okay when they’re fucking not..” Aria muttered as her hands rubbed her face.
For the first time in what felt like forever, it seemed Aria was actually showing Seb her more vulnerable side again, and although it was nice to know she could be open about it, he hated how she was feeling. At the mention of how they hadn’t spoken in such a long time, Seb bit his lips to refrain from saying anything. Despite his dislike towards Travis, he’d never expected that he would hurt Aria or upset her, he’d hates Seb so many times for that. His eyes locked onto Aria’s as she looked up, the blonde girl looked exhausted and he shook his head. “Hey, it’s okay. I promise.” Seb tried to reassure her, never good at comforting, “He’ll be back, right? It’ll be okay. And if he doesn’t come back, then I guess you just don’t need him.”
“It’s not okay, Sebastian” She sighed, her hands falling back down into her lap as she shifted her body to lean against the wall. “I’m going insane.. I barely sleep, I spend half my time studying, working out or worrying about him” The blonde began to pick at the ends of her golden hair before biting down on her bottom lip. “He was supposed to come and see me tonight and bailed. You and I both know well enough that Travis hasn’t missed a single training session since I met him.. Maybe it’s just a sign that we’re over..”
Letting a long sigh out of his mouth, Sebastian was conflicted about what to do. He wanted to comfort Aria and tell her it’d be alright but he didn’t know what to say, or even if it would be alright. Travis kept himself to himself, it was clear from that just from being at his house the one time that he didn’t like people getting involved, and Seb had no idea how much he’d let Aria in. “I don’t know what to tell you, Ari..” He mumbled, feeling concerned, he knew when situations like this had happened before that she’d ended up forgetting to take her meds and getting took to hospital. His eyes still locked onto Aria’s brown eyes and he shook his head. “Don’t say it’s over till you’ve spoke to him, you don’t know what’s going on.” Sebastian was desperately trying to help now, “And if it is, then you’ve still got Cali, and your cousins, and plenty of other people, me included.”
Aria shrugged at is his comment, she didn’t blame him for not knowing what to say, she couldn’t figure anything out herself. “He’s.. done, Seb. He’s gone.. I know him, he hasn’t picked up my calls in days. I just - it’s not going to happen anymore, he’s doing his this.. he doesn’t need to deal with me right now. I’m just a pain in his ass” She sighed tiredly, wallowing in her self pity as she leaned her head against the wall and shut her eyes. The blonde let out a scoff moments later, eyes opening as she raised a brow at him. “Have you met my family? My sister’s a stripper, Aaron’s off playing family with his fiance, Aurora’s in and out of here like they’ve got revolving doors and Amelia’s too busy shoving a dick down her throat or her tongue down someone else’. You’ve got Meredith, I’m pretty much alone here”
Sebastian sighed as Aria talked about Travis, of course she knew him better than anybody else, and if she said he was gone then maybe he was. “If you’re so sure then I can’t change your mind. You’re not a pain in his, or anyone else’s, ass. He’s so lucky to have you and if he can’t see that then it’s his loss.” Seb watched as she leaned against the wall with her eyes shut and bit his lip once more. It seemed odd, Travis was there all the times Seb messed up, and now apparently Seb was trying to do the same back. “Okay, maybe not. But just because I’ve got Mere, it doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend. Because even if we both fucked up, I still care about you.”
“If it’s his loss then why do I feel like I’m the one loosing here?” Aria asked quietly, her lips falling into a small pout as she resembled a saddened wolf pup with her big brown eyes. “I’m just… tired, Seb. I’m exhausted, I have to get decent grades, fun a clique of idiots and maintain my health when I honestly wake up feeling like death. Yeah, you might be here now but everyone important to me is leaving within in a month. What am I mean to do after all of that?” She asked, exhaustion evident in her voice as it started to break slightly. “I can’t keep it together anymore..”
“Maybe it feels like that right now, but I promise you, it’ll all be okay. Just trust me, you’ll find someone, even if it’s not going to be Travis, you are never alone.” As Aria told him exactly how she was feeling, Seb shook his head and sighed, he knew the feeling of complete exhaustion all too well, and knowing the consequences he couldn’t let Aria feel any worse. “You’re strong, you’re a fighter. You’ve show me that so many times, and I know that side of you is still in there somewhere. What happened to the badass Aria who didn’t give a shit about what people thought?” Throughout knowing her for over a year, Seb was always the one to lose it first whilst Aria stayed out together and he didn’t like the change, at all. “I’m not going anywhere. Because I care about you, but also because there’s about a one in a million chance I’ll even graduate and go to college.” Seb scoffed, and then saw Aria completely give up. Left with no choice, he stood up and stepped towards her bed where he sat down beside her and tried to smile. “Need a hug?”
“You say that all know but you really don’t know that, Seb” Aria sniffled once more, her emotions now taking full control of the blonde. Her eyes began to burn as they filled up with tears. “You don’t know that it’s going to be okay, I could wind up dead tomorrow or get it by a fucking truck and never walk again. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow..” She muttered as the salty tears pooled over the brims of her lids and down her cheeks. “I’m not a fighter anymore, I don’t want to fight anymore, I just want to sleep. I’m tired of fighting..” She whispered. Looking up as he sat down beside her, Aria instantly engulfed herself into his chest as the tears came down harder. “I”m nothing but a screw up.. I fucked up with you, and now him too..”
“You’re right, I don’t know it for sure, but I’d say it’s pretty likely. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Maybe that guy isn’t Travis, or even me, but he’s out there somewhere.” Seb sighed, he knew Aria was still an amazing girl and she deserved someone to be there for her, Seb could try but there was only so much he could do or say. Seeing Aria cry broke Seb, he hated it but at least he wasn’t all to blame this time. “Don’t say that. And don’t cry. Please.” He spoke softly, even though she was full on crying now. “Do it for me, please. I know you can, you’ve just got to try.” As Aria fell into his chest, Seb awkwardly wrapped an arm around her and let her cry, his breaths deep and heavy. “No, you’re far from that. You didn’t fuck up with me, it just wasn’t meant to work out. And this thing with Travis is far from your fault.”
“I don’t think so..” She argued back through her tears, Aria’s chest felt heavy while her body arched. It didn’t hit her how hard she worked today till now. Shoulders throbbing while her hands were bruised and nearly raw from hitting the punching bag in anger over Travis not showing up, she thought that he had been running late and maybe if she worked hard enough he’d magically appear. “I can’t try.. I’m tired.. i don’t want to do this anymore.. ” She sniffled, pulling away slightly to wipe her eyes with the back of one of her bruised hands.
With nothing left to say to Aria’s response, completely unable to make her see it how he saw it he simply sighed again and just let her cry into his chest for as long as she needed. In the moment he just needed to be there for her, telling her it would be okay wasn’t important to him, not if she wouldn’t listen anyway. As she pulled away he noticed the bruises on her hands for the first time, she’d clearly been letting out a lot of anger. “Don’t give up. Promise me that. I gave up and there’s nothing I regret more. I was at such a low point that I didn’t think I’d ever get out of, but look at me now, I’m actually happy again.”
“I’m not going to kill myself” Aria answered, sniffling as she lightly pulled away before awkwardly giving him a apologetic look when she realized what she had said. “Sorry..” She muttered before resting her head on his shoulder. “I have nothing going for me right now.. What am I supposed to do when I graduate, hm? They can only keep on pumping hard core drugs into me before something goes wrong, so what, i get good grades. What’s the point of all of this when the chances of me making it to my 21st birthday aren’t very high?” The girl wallowed, letting him into the smart parts of her life which included her health. “I’m getting worse, Seb. I’m getting sicker and they ran.. other tests on me last month..”
As Aria mentioned not killing herself, Sebastian drew in a breath and pursed his lips tightly together. He knew she didn’t mean it and it was okay but it was awkward nonetheless. “It’s okay.” He mumbled, and allowed her to rest her head on his body gently. As she spoke, it was clear the girl Seb once thought was so strong was broken into a thousand pieces and he had no clue how to fix it. “Just keep going. You never know what could happen.” He never knew how to approach the topic of health, with his mum being sick too, and even through their entire relationship Seb had always felt wary of her. The next words were like a shot in the heart, it couldn’t be happening. “What do you mean?” He said, his voice cracking, “Aria.. What is it?”
“..Exactly.. I don’t know what could happen and that scares me the fucking most..” She croaked quietly, closing her eyes for a minute as she let out a deep breath. Just weeks ago while visiting her parents, Aria found herself in the hospital one faithful saturday with a migraine that left her in tears and on the floor, screaming in pain. After being rushed to a neurologist, the girl had suddenly began to feel like a test rabbit as the doctors began to run tests on her for hours, only to come up with a few answers. None of which made her feel very good when she came back to school with another bottle of pills in her bag. “.. Remember how I used to get those headaches?” The girl asked quietly, her heart now completely dropped to her stomach as her voice became raw. “They got worse.. and worse, sometimes I’d end up fainting.. and one day it happened at home… I - … I could possibly have a tumor..” The blonde barely whispered, her small hand falling into his lap before she locked their fingers.
“Think of it as a good thing.. You could get better.. And the best thing in life are surprises.” Seb spoke, trying to believe the words he was desperately trying to convince Aria of, although he didn’t know if he could quite believe it himself, as much as he wanted to. Breaking away from his thoughts to listen to Aria speak, Seb nodded his head and his face grew more concerned as he carried on listening. In shock for a moment hearing the end of it, Sebastian couldn’t speak and could only mumble an “Aria..” Before feeling her lock their fingers. Looking down at them cautiously, he allowed her to hold his hand for comfort. “I can’t.. No. I’m sorry.”
Aria’s throat grew dry when she told him, she didn’t want to tell anyone. She hadn’t even told her own sister, promising her parents that she’d tell the older girl herself when she knew it was the right time. “… Sorry? For what?” She asked weakly, her head coming up to look at him in confusion with furrowed brows.
Seb didn’t know how bad the tumour was, or how much Aria and anyone else knew, just that it was bad and now he’d have to be there for her more than ever. His voice stuttered as he began to speak and he ran his other hand through his curly hair. “I don’t know.. Everything?” He replied, a tone of desperation in is words. Aria being upset over Travis was one thing, but this was completely different and so much more serious.
Aria’s head rested back against the wall as she sighed, hand locked with his. “Don’t be.. you didn’t cause this” She answered back quietly, it wasn’t a topic she thought about most. Due to moments like this, she hated the feeling of helplessness. She knew people wanted to help, hell, she wanted to help herself but there really wasn’t anyone else could do. “They’re sending me for more tests next week.. I’m just scared.. i don’t want to die, Seb.. I’m tired, I’m sad, I’m down.. but I don’t want to die..”
Seb looked down at Aria then away again. “You still don’t deserve all this.. And I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.” He mumbled, hating seeing her so weak, it wasn’t the girl he knew and had once loved. “Don’t be scared. I’m going to be here, the entire time, I’ll help you with whatever you need.” His hand slipped from hers, and he gently put his arm around her shoulder, in a protective way.
“No one deserves it.. it’s shitty.. ” She sighed before she felt her his arm pulling her into his side. A small smile came onto her sad face when she realized that they were finally getting along for the first time in ages, it was only unfortunate that it came with the price tag of Aria’s health declining. “Thank you..” The blonde breathed out with a small sigh as she shut her eyes. “One problem” the younger girl muttered tiredly. “Your girlfriend seems to think that I’m still after you.. I really don’t want to cause any problems..”
“Yeah.. That’s true.” Seb mumbled, noticing the first smile he’d seen from Aria in a long time and it was comforting. Her head was now against his shoulder and to any outsider the situation would seem suspicious for two exes, but Seb was just trying to do what was right. “It’s okay.” He forced a smile onto his face at the mention of Meredith, knowing how the two girls seemed to clash, and the other probably wouldn’t be okay with the current situation. “Well, you’re not, right?” Seb tried to joke and brighten the damp mood. “Seriously though, it’s okay, I’ll talk to her. She’ll understand, she loves me, and she trusts me. You’re not any trouble, promise.”
“Sorry.. You’re not my type” Aria teased, sticking her tongue out at him as the mood in the room lightened slightly. Truth be told, although they were broken up, Aria wouldn’t even forget the boy sat beside her. He had been her first love and one of her best friends. It would be silly of her just to act like he had meant nothing to her. “Alright.. Pinky promise?” She asked, holding out one of her thin, bruised digits out.
Sebastian grinned at Aria’s response to his joking question and he nodded his head, “Yeah, you neither.” Aria would always be the first girl he’d ever loved, so of course he’d always care about her and he was almost sure that she knew it too, even when they were with other people. And the truth was, how Seb was now made him happier than anything, he just hated how Aria was going through hell alone, so he was going to do all he could to be there for her when she needed it. “Pinky promise.” Seb smiled and took her little finger in his own.
Aria smiled when they locked fingers before her head went back to resting on his shoulder, it was quiet in their shared rooms for a few moments before her thoughts went south. “What if it’s really bad.. Seb?” She said quietly, swallowing harshly. “What if it’s too late and they can’t do anything about it?”
He found Aria rest on his shoulder once more and he stroked his hand along her blonde hair slowly, not wanting to say anything in the moment. “Don’t think like that, at least don’t say it.” Seb mumbled, before it hit him that it was a very real possibility. His voice cracked as he spoke, the thought of it all becoming overwhelming, “But if it is, you have to know that you’re not alone and I’m here. But don’t think like that, not yet. Stay strong - for me?”
“Sorry..” Aria muttered quietly, not knowing what more to say as the thoughts swirled through her head. She had ambitions in life, the blonde wanted to become a Veterinarian, she had loved animals all throughout her short 17 years and wanting nothing more then to take care of animals that couldn’t take care of themselves. “I haven’t even gotten my license yet.. w-hat…what if I don’t make it to graduation..” She whispered, her hand nearly shaking against her leg. “I’ll try… I’m scared”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay..” He mumbled, this time his turn to tell her not to apologise. The whole thing was a huge mess, Aria’s life seemed to be spiralling out of control and neither of them could do anything about it. “I know you can. Even if you don’t think you’re a fighter, I know you’re Aria D’Souza and you’re not going to let any illness stop you from getting what you want.” His hand put itself over Arias own as it shook and he shook his head. “Don’t be scared.”
Aria made a face and lightly shook her head. She honestly loved her family with all her heart but having her last name honestly felt like a ball and chain to the girl. Her cousins and sister were all party animals, nearly everyone in the group of child she grew up with were all bubbly, fun, and exciting. it wasn’t that Aria wasn’t, she just didn’t enjoy the expectations that came with being a D’Souza or a Hendrix. It always made it harder for her to make friends when she was a child, kids wanting to get close to her family for certain reasons. “i haven’t even told my family yet.. ” Aria sighed, a pained expression on her face. “Only my mom knows.. and you.. - W-will you.. teach me how to drive properly?” The blonde asked quietly, biting down on her bottom lip.
Noticing the face Aria made when Sebastian mentioned her last name, he looked quizzically at her for a moment, only to realise how she obviously hated having the name and the reputation. He didn’t know her cousins too well, and although he knew Cali, she didn’t exactly like him, but he knew enough to know that the whole group of them were very well known around the school. He guessed Aria just felt left out of it all, and a problem like she said she was to him. “You should tell them soon.. They should know..” Seb mumbled “Or not, if you don’t want to worry them..” Seb mumbled, pretty unhelpful with way, “But I’m glad you told me.” Hearing her ask the question, Seb nodded his head and smiled at her. “Of course I will.”
“And say what? Oh, hey, by the way.. I might not make it to my next birthday cause theres this massive thing pressing on my brain that could kill me?” She asked with a sigh, not wanting to think about their reactions. She hoped that she wouldn’t have to say anything to them if her results came back saying that it wasn’t deathly or severe. “Had to tell someone.. it was eating me alive..” Aria muttered quietly before returning the small smile back. “thank you.”
Hearing the words from Aria’s mouth out loud did make it sound odd, even if she was only messing around, or so Seb thought. “Maybe not,” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders lightly, “But stay positive, alright.” He understood that this was all hard for Aria, but it wasn’t even sure yet, and even if she was dying, or something of the sort, moping around about it all would do no good. “Like I said, I’m always here. No problem.” The boy replied to her, his side still pressed close to her head.
Having Sebastian stay so positive made it a little easier for Aria to breathe even though the whole time she was fighting to stop herself from blurting out something utterly morbid. The teen honestly thought she wasn’t going to make it. “Right.. positive..” She nodded against his side with a small sigh. “But what - … nevermind” Aria said before stopping herself from morbidly uttering something she should.
Even if he’d managed to calm Aria down slightly and comfort her it was still that she still wasn’t feeling too great, who could blame her? Seb could never understand what she was going through and he never wanted to, but he had to at least try. He watched Aria start, then stop, saying a sentence and he looked at her inquisitively. “But what?” Sebastian was growing to feel even more concerned than he already was.
“…. but what if I really don’t make it, Seb? What happens if they tell me it’s too late to do anything about it and I have no time” She thought out loud with a sigh, Aria was young, she still had years to live and millions of things to experience. It finally hit her just how scared she really was of death. The blonde wasn’t always so fearless. “I’m terrifed”
Something like Aria’s next words should have been expected to be heard but it still didn’t make it any easier to hear for Seb, it was something he couldn’t bare to think about. Slumping down slightly, he sighed and shook his head. “If you don’t make it..” He started, unable to finish for a moment then looked at Aria. “You’ve had a good life though, yeah? And everyone’s going to be there for you.” Trying to remain positive, Seb pulled her closer in attempt to console her. “It’s okay right now though. Nothing bad is going to happen, not right now.”
Aria subconsciously began to chew on the insides of her cheeks as she waited for him to say something, as if maybe tearing up the insides of her cheeks would fix all her problems. “Yeah.. I guess.. kinda” She answered with a shrug. The small blonde let out another sigh before looking down at her lap, eyes heavy. “God forbid the roof collapses on us..” She muttered.
A worried look was now firmly fixed onto Seb’s face, his eyebrows furrowed in concern at Aria’s reply to his question. “You guess? What does that mean?” Seb asked, letting out a sigh, beginning to feel impossibly helpless at comforting the blonde girl beside him. Hearing her last remark Seb forced a stifled chuckle with a shake of his head, “I don’t see that as being likely, but we’ll see.”
“Well I spent most of my childhood in doors being home schooled cause I was always sick or kids would bully me.. High school has been alright so far, but I never really made my mark in the world.. y’know?” She said quietly, her thoughts swirling in her head. “almost kinda like I wasted my life only to have it taken away from me..” Aria muttered before giving him a small giggle. “If it does, you’re gonna have to save me from getting crushed”
Nodding to show he was listening to what Aria had to say as she spoke to him, as soon as she became silent, Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t know, it’s your life, but I’d say you made a pretty big mark on the world, more than you know, and I don’t think it could be that wasted anyway.” He spoke truthfully, glancing over at Aria again. “I know you made a mark in my world, my life would be completely different if I never knew you.” It was true, a lot had happened in the time they were together, and not only that she was his first love, something unforgettable, he wouldn’t forget Aria any time soon. Laughing, Seb shrugged his shoulders casually, “Yeah, I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you…” Aria said softly, surprised by what he had said next, the compliment send a warm chill down her spine. At least now she didn’t feel entirely useless. She gave him a small smile before leaning her head back down on her chest, deep down Aria was thankful that they had now began to work it all out.
“It’s okay.” Seb replied to Aria softly, drumming his fingers gently against the mattress of the bed, his breathing growing heavy and deep. He pulled his other arm slightly tighter around Aria, and looked at her, she already seemed slightly happier, and he spoke once more. “It’s all going to be okay, no matter what happens. I promise.”
“Seb?” She asked quietly, her body growing heavy and slightly weaker as her days activities continued to catch up to her. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep..” Aria muttered lightly, listening to his heart beat. “Will you also lay with me? Just till I fall asleep?”
The weight of Aria’s body against his own was beginning to become noticeable to Sebastian, it seemed that in her exhaustion she was growing tired and he couldn’t blame her for that. “I just have a feeling this is going to turn out okay.” His grip around her shoulder released slowly as he heard Aria speak and Seb nodded slowly, “Of course,” He mumbled, adjusting his position to give Aria room to lie down.
“Maybe I’ll just have to believe you then” Aria sighed before slowly laying her blonde head of curls down on the pillow and moving to make space for the boy. It hadn’t been the first time she shared a bed with him but something about Sebastian being around made her feels safer. “You sure the ceiling won’t collapse?” she asked, paranoid.
“You should do that.” Sebastian replied with a small smile on his face. The truth was, in no way at all was he confident that everything would be okay, but he had to be, for Aria’s sake. As she lay down, Seb ran a hand over her hair, moving strands out her face and gently slumped down beside her. “I’m sure.” Seb answered, a tired smile on his face.
“This might sound stupid..” Aria started, looking over at him before tugging the blankets over their bodies. “but.. would you come with me to my next appointment? They’re going to trust some tests in that big, scary CT scan thing and I really don’t want to be alone.. My mom kind of has a hard time with all of this” She muttered, big brown eyes peering over at him.
Sebastian raised a dark eyebrow at Aria as she started to speak and he shrugged his shoulders, his voice now quieter “I doubt it, but what is it, anyway?” With every moment and words, he seemed to be more concerned for Aria, hating the situation. The blankets spread over their bodies and Seb leaned back, turning to face Aria slightly, and he nodded his head slowly, “Of course I will. When I said I would be there no matter what, I meant it, Ari.”
Aria hesitantly moved closer, head resting on his chest as she tried her best not to cross any boundaries. “Thanks..” She muttered quietly, getting out a small sigh as she shut her eyes. “It’s just that those machines make me claustrophobic.. and it’s like going inside a massive testtube..”
Aria’s head was now rested on Sebastian’s chest and Seb cautiously moved his arm to allow to rest her head more comfortably, his hand resting on her golden hair. In any other circumstance, Sebastian would have felt uncomfortable, but that night was different. “It’s no problem.” Seb mumbled, noticing her start to get tired, “It’s scary, I know, but you can be brave, and I’ll be right there.”
“They won’t let me move in there.. I have to hold my breath, it’s such a tight squeeze too.. Kinda makes you feel like when you open your eyes again you’ll see aliens” She said with a light laugh as she tried to up the morbid mood. “I know.. I know” Aria sighed before peering her head to look up at him. “Hey, Seb?”
Listening to Aria describe the hospital made the whole thing sound ten times worse, somehow bad things always seemed to happen to good people and he hated it, and the fact that nothing could ever be done to change it. Smiling at the joke about the aliens as best as he could, Seb found Aria looking at him and their gazes locked. “Yeah?” He asked, “What?”
“… the chances of Travis coming back are really.. really slim, aren’t they?” She asked quietly, the blonde knew that answer was yes, herself but she just couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. Everyone knew that Travis was one of the most dedicated people around, he always stuck to his word. The fact that all these things seemed to be hitting her at once was enough to knock Arias optimism down.
Hearing the mention of Travis caused a deep sigh to release from Seb’s mouth and he looked down at Aria sympathetically. “I don’t know.. You know him way better than anyone.. If you think that, then I guess..” There was no point trying to sugar coat the truth anymore, it all seemed pointless in the grand scheme of things now anyway. “I want him to come back, for you.. You need him, and he’s not here, but we don’t know why. Wherever he is, I’m sure he cares about you, but if he never comes back then know that you’re going to be just fine with or without him.”
Aria finally let out the breath she was holding in, thankful that Sebastian had said it in a better way then just blunting agreeing that he wasn’t coming back. “I know.. I just needed to hear it from someone else” She said quietly. “I guess.. I guess I just have to learn not to lean on him that much anymore.. Be my own person, 100%” The blonde said with a light yawn.
He noticed straight away the deep breath of air Aria let out of her mouth and sighed along with her, understanding it was hard that he’d just left, not jut because he was her boyfriend but because of how close they’d always been, even when she had been with Sebastian, he’d always found himself feeling jealous anyway. “I guess you do. And you know what? I think you can do it, I really do think you can. It’s going to be hard, but you can.” Seb said reassuringly, believing every word. Smiling at her yawn, he ruffled her hair as he spoke, “Get some sleep now, okay?”
Aria chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, she was glad that at least someone believed in her. It took everything in Aria to not but him at least twice a day since he had been gone and the phone calls and texts stopped coming through. “.. at least someone has faith” She said quietly, closing her eyes and laughing lightly as he ruffled her blonde locks. “Alright.. one more thing though” Aria grinned, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. “Still watch Hannah Montana?”
Seb leaned his head back slightly and looked at Aria, who looked deep in thought. “Of course I have faith. Why wouldn’t I?” Sebastian questioned, smiling as Aria laughed at him. There was no awkwardness between the two of them anymore, no tension, and it felt nice that they could finally be relaxed, Seb still grateful for what she’d told him, even if it worried him. Rolling his eyes at the mention of Hannah Montana, Sebastian looked at Aria, “Really? What do you think?”
“No reason.. I guess. I don’t know. I kinda feel like some people just thing that I depended on him a lot.. which is true” She shrugged lightly before smirking at him when he rolled her eyes at her. Aria relax again, closing her eyes with a small sigh. “Well. I’m sure hoping that you’ve caught up and were saving the last season to watch with me” The blonde said with a smirk.
It was true that Aria depended on Travis, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Everyone needed someone to depend on at some point, Seb knew he did and he was glad to have that, but maybe it was time for Aria to do it all alone and be her own person. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Show everyone that you don’t need him, show everyone how strong you really can be.” Seb said convinced of it all now, and laughed once more. “Maybe, but that’s for another time, okay? Go to sleep.”
“All when ironically I’m just going to get weaker..” She muttered sadly, thinking about just how bad things could get just for a moment before she yawned once more. “Alright.. Night Sebbie, Love you - I .. agh you know what I mean” Aria said with a light sigh before patting his stomach. “Sleep well” Was the last thing the blonde muttered before she began to doze off on his chest.
“But nobody else is going to be going through that, you’re going to and that’s why you’re strong.” His eyes were tiring too, feeling a small yawn from his mouth. Seb had said he would stay with her until she fell asleep but leaving her after it all felt wrong, it wouldn’t hurt anybody, right? He froze at the word love for a moment, and nodded his head, muttering an “Mhmm, goodnight Aria.” He murmured, before noticing that the girl was now asleep on his chest and he shut his eyes, wondering how in any way would he explain the situation to his own girlfriend, who was probably asleep in her bed, in the morning. Guilt was already sinking in, even if nothing had actually happened, he couldn’t help but feel it.
Notes: Aaron and bella try not to argue after staying as far away from each other for weeks, but as usual they end up fighting.
Bella was anything but happy when she heard about the room change. She had just stopped talking to Aaron, and she was doing good at avoiding him at all cost, but now she was stuck sharing a room with him for a week. She hated him, but she knew at the same time that was anything but true. She couldn't actually hate him. He had been around for too much for her to hate him. She knew though that if they were to ever make up, it definitely didn't feel like the right time now. She had plan on spending most of her week out of the house. Between the parties she had been told about by friends, , and spending time with the few people she was talking to she thought this would be pretty easy to not get in his way. Tonight she had no plans at all. Nothing had been going on, and she didn't bother to text anyone to see what they were up to. She decided to spend the night in, watching whatever TV she found bearable enough to watch. She had finally decided on South Park, since her only other option was Jersey Shore and she knew if she wanted to watch drunk idiots walk around she could just go people watching out the window. The door had open, and almost as if she didn't expect it, she looked over to see Aaron come in. She rolled her eyes like she did with everything she wasn't in the mood with and continued to watch the TV. She knew eventually she would have to see him, but she didn't think this soon. She figured he would keep his own distance and spend the night by Mack.
Aaron just sighed softly as he searched around his clothes until he found a pair of pyjama pants and some old t-shirt of his before walking over to the bathroom to change. Of course he had thought about staying with Mack, but she was sharing her room with Luke and he didn't want to make things more tense between them considering how little patience Mack seemed to ahve when it came to Luke now. He ahd figured that Bella would be out as usual but now he was dreading going to back to bed. Yet his body was almost yelling at him to get some rest. With that in mind, he changed into way more comfortable clothes and walked back into their dorm for the week. His eyes didn't stop on her at all, since he was trying to keep quiet and hopefully fall asleep before anyone said anything that could lead to an argument. But at the same time, he was curious. They hadn't talked in weeks and a part of him wondered if she still hated him as much as before and if they could at least try to be civil to each other, which was why he plopped down on his bed and tried to relax as much as he could before he bit down on his lip, not looking at her as he asked, "Alright, I'm not trying to pester you but...we both gotta sleep and even if you can't stand me, I vote we just suck it up and try to sleep....Is that okay with you?"
Bella only stole a few glances his way as he went into the bathroom. She was still unsure of how she actually felt about Aaron. She hated him for yet again pushing her aside for Mack, but she couldn't bring herself to completel hate him. She definitely knew any feelings of liking him in any other way were gone. She thought she liked him but she didn't someone who could toss her like that deserved her admiration. Part of her wanted to stop this whole avoiding each other and try to be on good terms, but her bitter side was still holding her back from saying anything. She looked over when she spoke up. It took her a few seconds to think it over. She wanted to be civil, but at the same time she wanted to be anywhere but in the same room as him. She glanced at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the TV. "While most of that is pretty on point.." She let out a soft sigh. "..I guess that works. I mean, at least you're not that little bitch." She said as she remembered Mack, an annoyed look on her face. She knew if that was the case she would be anything but civil.
It wasn't like Aaron was too happy with Bella either. Truthfully, he was more than a little angry with her because of how she had handled things with Mack, When it came down to Mack and anyone else, Aaron would always pick Mack, no matter what. She was the love of is life and they were getting married soon, there was no way that he'd pick anyone over her. . Raising an eyebrow as she seemed to agreed to what he had offered, Aaron began nodding a but he definitely turned to look at her as he heard how she finished his sentence. "As if. The only bitch around here is you, and fucing leave my fiancé out of this. God, you're so fucking bitter and it's getting old." Aaron said, not even thinking about it before he just said it. This was what happened when anyone messed with Mack, Aaron just couldn't help but be protective.
Bella nodded at his words, agreeing slightly. "Yeah, I am a bitch. If you're trying to use that as any sort of insult then you really don't know who you're fucking with boo." She laughed softly at the next part, now turning to look his way. "Yeah, I'm realy bitter. I don't like the little slut you're fucking with so I must be bitter." She said with another roll of her eyes. Sure, she knew deep down she was a little bit, but she wasn't willingly admiting it. "I don't like her because she's a fucking whiny little bitch who thinks because she knows how to ditch your loser ass for three days that she can act like she has a backbone." She told him simply, shrugging. "It's kinda pathetic." She added as she looked back at the TV. She quickly looked back at him. "And don't expect me to say sorry for saying any of it cause I'm not. Someone who's gonna treat me like trash just because I hate that little creature isn't worth lying for."
"Shut the fuck up, Bella. Seriously." Aaron started, his jaw clenching as he tried not to listen to the words that were leaving her mouth. He couldn't let this get to him, he'd been tryign to change so much lately since he had hit Bella, just because he regretted it completely. When he had asked for her forgiveness, it had been sincere. It was been to this day, despite the fact that Bella had hit Mack and him before. He regretted ever laying a hand on her because no one deserves to be hit, especially not a girl by a guy. Letting out a bitter laugh, Aaron shook his head. This was complete bullshit. "You think I give a single fuck about what you think about Mack or if you like her? You're out of your mind. I don't give a flying fuck about what you think. But if you decided to fucking shut up for once in your life and just stop getting in our relationship and smacking ehr around because I picked her over you then we wouldn't be in this stupid position." Aaron said harshly, not even thinking about what he was saying before letting the words come out of his mouth. Usually when Aaron got pissed off very few things could slow him down and just one person could calm him down and she was nowhere to be seen. "Get over yourself, Bella. I don't want your damn apologies. I'm over this shit and truthfully, I don't feel like I have to deal with you and your shit anymore. Say whatever you want, it won't change the fact that our stupid thing that we used to call friendship is fucking over because you decided to use my fiancé as your punching bag. So why don't you just fucking forget we ever happened, hell forget I exist so we don't ahve to talk to each other ever again."
Bella glared over at him, keeping her mouth shut. What he had said had brought her back to when she first told her mother about what her dad was doing. Surprisingly, she didn't believe her. She took her father's side as if she were lying for attention. When she had finally told someone who could do something and it proved to be true, things didn't change. Her mother sent her off to some random school back in Nashville while she waited for her husband to get out of jail. It was never said, but she knew that in reality, she picked her father, as evil as he was, over her. It made her feel worthless whenever she thought of it, which was she tried not to. She had realized that he had chosen Mack over her, but no one had actually said it to her like that. She couldn't even bother paying attention to the rest of his rant as the words rang in her head. She could feel the memories of the last couple of years flash through her mind. Once he finished speaking she got up. She took a deep breath. "Consider it done." She said coldly, her voice cracking at the end. She mentally cursed herself as she quickly made her way out of the temporarily shared room, slamming it shut. She looked around the empty hall, beginning to walk down it as if she had a plan of where to go. After a few seconds she stopped, again looking around the dark hall. She rested her back against the wall and slid down to the floor. She covered her eyes as she could feel the memories come back to her again through the tears that fell from her eyes. She didn't dare make a noise. If the slam didn't wake everyone up the last thing she needed was people seeing her weak like this. She never really had much of a relationship with her mother, if one at all. That didn't stop her from thinking that she would stick up for her if something like that had happened.
This was the exact same reason why Aaron hated being so damn impulsive all the time. He could be extremely hurtful with his words when he was like this, sure Bella had did this to him as well before but that didn't mean she deserved to hear all of the things he had jsut said to her. He knew about Bella's past and he knew how much shit she'd been through. Hell, Aaron was sure that he was one of the few people who knw Bella so well, and he didn't get to use that to his advantage, he knew that. Waiting a few minutes after she had elft the room, Aaron debated what was the right thing to do. Just let her be, and fall asleep or actually go after her ot try to apologize and hopefully make things better for her somehow. Grabbing his pillow and walking out fo their temporary dorm, Aaron walked until he found her sitting on the ground. He didn't know if she was crying not, but he knew that the right thing t do was talk to her. "Bella...." Aaron murmured softly, clearing his throat. "Look....I'm sorry, I really am."
Bella looked up when she heard someone come out, quickly wiping her eyes in case they could see her. She let out a deep breath, her whole body trembling as she tried not to break down like she had minutes ago. When she realized it was Aaron she let out a sigh that was a mix of relief and annoyance. If anyone had to see her like this right now she'd rather it be him rather than some random person she'd have to hit to show them her strength. At the same time he was the last person she wanted to see. She wasn't sure if he was aware that he struck a nerve, but she knew he knew just about everything that had happened to her up to this point, her mother's desperate choice being one of those. She didn't bother looking up until he had spoken. "You just don't get it.." She finally spoke up. "Basically since I turned six I've been nothing but used and tossed to the side. Fuck, my own mother chose a child molester over her own daughter.." She quickly wiped the few tears that did manage to shed, lowering her head as she did. "I'm just fucking sick of it. I used to be just like her." She told him, referring to Mack. "Now I'm nothing but hard drugs, bad attitude and blonde hair dye." She said with a sigh.
To most people Bella could easily look like she didn't have feelings or that she was just a bitch but seeing as they had been close, Aaron knew her way better than anyone. He knew that she was anything but, she just had a lot of walls around herself that pushed people away. Just like Aaron had. He could see right through her. But t was different because Aaron had never went through half of the things that Bella had. To Aaron it was more of not knowing who he was and e had found the right person. Bella hadn't. "I know...I don't get it...because no one should have to go through something like that. It's okay to be broken, Bella. You've gone through a lot of shit." Without giving it a second thought but still trying to keep his distance, Aaron sat down next to her, placing the pillow on his lap. "You know, Bella. I used to be nothing but jokes, sarcasm and one night stands. But now I'm not. I got into a good school because of soccer, I'm serious about the things that matter. I know it looks like Mack is the reason why but she isn't. She has never made me want to change, I've changed because it got tiring. It was tiring to be something that I wasn't." Aaron looked at her the entire time he was talking, licking his lips a little. "You don't have to be like Mack to be liked or loved, I already did that with all your bad attitude. But all you have to do is stop acting like nothing can hurt you and just be whoever you want to be, Bella. Your own person."
Bella tried her best to look a certain way to people. She figured if she kept up the look of 'heartless bitch' then no one would consider her weak. She almost started to believe it herself, considering she only actually cared for a limited amount of people. "I'm not broken, just really.. really fucked up." She said, looking over as he sat down next to her. She was about to protest but something in her decided against it. "I get what you're saying. The only thing is I don't know who I actually am, and I'm too far gone to get my shit together. I'm literally going insane and at first I just shrugged them off as drunk hallucinations but now I don't know anymore." She had been like this since she saw her father in December when she had gone to see her sister. She had been seeing hia face everywhere. That was the whole reason she had gotten arrested, and why she was in the looney bin in the first place. She decided that she should cut down on the drugs and surprisingly it was helping. She felt just about cured until the drug search happened. Of course, she was one of the many kids getting arrested and to her surprise she wasn't in for that long. Even more of a shock, her dad was the one to bail her out. She knew in the back of her mind that he planned on her repaying him, and from her past experiences she knew just how. Since then, things have only gotten worse. It had even escalated to the occasional nightmare. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was him. She was staying strong, but only time could tell how long it'd take for her to break completely. She shrugged at his next words. "If I act like that then I'm weak, and I'm anything but that, at least I think so." She told him.
"You're never too gone to fix it. If you were too gone then you wouldn't be talking about it like this." Aaron murmured, looking ahead. He knew that Bella had problems, worse than most people. And he knew that he needed people, that was why he had tried so many times to work with her. To make things work but now he knew where Mack stood and he didn't know what to do about Bella and him. "You think I'm weak because I'm finally happy? You know that's not true. You can a fucking tough and confident woman and be happy. You're just scared."
Bella nodded. "I mean, I guess." She shrugged lightly, he eyes glancing at him for a few seconds. She knew not many other people shared the same problems as she did. That was why she never talked about them though, the last thing she wanted was a pity party. People tried to help her before. Therapists, friends from her old life, family, but she did what she realized she did best and shut them out. She had even shut out Aaron various times. It made her shocked that he was still even somewhat trying with her. After talking with Cameron she had realized it might not be that bad letting a few people in. Aaron had basically known everything about her already, so it wouldn't be much of a change. "I never said that. I'm just the kinda person who doesn't usually show emotion. It makes me feel weak. That's just how I grew up though. Well, after everything." She knew that how she acted wasn't always right. A lot of the time she seemed out of control, and part of her thought she was.
Aaron nodded lightly as she explained why she tried not to show how she really felt. He really couldn't blame her, someone like Bella had to have some deep trust issues. And Aaron figured he hadn't been of much help while he'd be pushing her away. "Then don't. You know what you need? You need to talk to someone. I don't expect you to do it with me. We ahve we too much shit between us and I know things will never be the same between us but you need to let go one night and talk about how you feel. Or just let all of your past go and move past it, Bella." Aaron explained softly, he'd always been bitter about not being good enough for anything or anyone and now he was starting his life once again. That was what Bella needed. "You have all these feelings bottled up and it doesn't help you, it just makes you angrier and you know that."
Bella barely did trust anyone. The last people she trusted violated her and relocated her to god knows where. She shrugged lightly at what he said. "That's the last thing I need. Less than five people know anything about 'how I feel' or where I've been.. you being one of them. The last thing I need is someone else looking at me like I'm some lost cause or some troubled soul they need to save." She ran a hand through her hair, a sigh escaping her lips. "I mean, if I had to talk to someone, I might know who I should talk to, but I still don't want him thinking of me like I'm some freak with a fucked up childhood." She told him as her mind went back to Cam. When she had last hung out with him the two had talked, but nothing that deep. She knew soon enough she would talk to him and open up all of that stuff she had been trying to hide. "Yeah, about things with us.." She looked over at him. "Look, I know I said some shit, you said some shit, and I wouldn't be surprised if she put you on a ban from remembering I exist.. but that's how we work." She bit the inside of her cheek. "What I mean is, if you're willing try whatever this is one more time, I am. Just keep her away from me cause I still don't like her." She nodded softly at his next words.
"All I'm really saying is though, Bella. That I know all of that about you and I don't think you're weak because of that. I just think you're stronger. That's probably the eason why you think Mack is weak, because you don't know her at all. You just expect people to eact to bad shit the same way you do but she didn't and that is something that you need to understand to make sure you are who you want to be." Aaron explained as he tuned to lock his eyes with hers. It was true though, Aaron knew that both Bella and Mack had been through hell and back, they have too many things in common and maybe that was why they argued so much and didn't get along. Because they had things in common but were too damn different. "If he thinks of you as a freak with a fucked up childhood then he probably doesn't deserve you. You're supposed to be close to people who can look at you and not see your past, btu see who you are now." Tuning his head to look down at his lap as he tried to figure out what was the right thing to do, Aaron sighed softly. He loved Bella, she was a friend, someone who had been the closest thing to a girlfriend he'd had before he had met Mack. Someone who meant a lot to him but it was such a fucked up situation and he was right in the middle. He din't want to make her think she didn't matter but he didn't want Mack to think that what she thought wasn't important. "Bella...I just don't know about that, you know? You know I'm getting married in jut a /few/ weeks right? Like, in a month Makc will be my wife and whether you think that's dumb or not. I'm gonna put her above everyone else. I'm scare dof letting you in once again, only for us to argue adn for you to hit her again...I just....I wish you didn't have to deal with her the way that you have. It's not about Mack wanting me anywhere near you or not. She's never asked me to push you away, I've decided it...because I can't let you hurt her again. I care about you, I just don't know what the right thing to do is here..."
"Well, thanks." Bella couldn't help but smile faintly at what she considered a compliment. "I think she's weak because she's too nice to people, but that's just my attitude talking.." She said, shrugging lightly. She didn't want to put him in a situation like this, but she didn't have much of a choice. She wanted to be his friend, but she knew if her and Mack were ever in a room for longer than a few minutes then things wouldn't end well. She just couldn't bring herself to get along with the girl, as much as she had tried. She knew if it ever came down to making him choose, he'd definitely pick Mack. He already had, which was what made Bella more surprised she still wanted to be anything to him. "Obviously you're gonna put her above everyone. If you didn't I'd think she was dumber than I already do. I'd wanna be at least somewhere though." She didn't expect him to drop everything for her. She was gonna be his wife, she was supposed to be his main priority. She just wanted some acknowledgement, if any. "The only reason I do it is because she gets her big mouth in business that isn't her's. Every time we argue, she tries to be my conscience and make me feel like shit. Even when you hit me. Tell her to mind her business and there wouldn't be a problem but I mean, I've known you way longer than she has, but if you're willing to drop me over her yet again, then you're just like half of the other shit heads I've had to deal with. I get the whole 'future wife' thing but not everyone in the world is gonna get along with her, but I didn't sign up to be her friend. Last time I checked I was your's." She knew where he was coming from, and in some way she could see him being right, but that only brought her back to where she was before. She figured when she had stopped talking to him that after a week or two they would just make up like usual. She knew now that might actually not be the case, and it scared her a little.
"You don't know everything she's been through. She's been through os many things, I can't say them because it's her stuff. Like, with you, I've never told her about your past either. Both of you need to realize that everyone is the way they are for a reason." Aaron tried to explain himself as best as he could. He knew that Mack and Bella would never get along, he was over that phase. But he couldn't just have two lives, he couldn't be one person with Bella and another one with Mack. "Bell, it's not about you knowing me forst or not and you know that. It's about you understanding that I am not single anymore, I'm not just me now. Whether you understand that or not, I will marry Mack before you know it. She's my partner now. She has to do withe very single thing in my life, do you understand that? She's going to defend me because she's protective of me jsut like I will do the same with her. I am not asking you to get along, I can be your friend and you don't have to talk to her but I can't, under any circumstances, let you hurt her ever again. Do you see what I mean? We've done this same thing voer and over again and it always ends up the same way. Hit me, punch me, but don't touch Mack because just like you said, I am the one who's your friend, not her." Aaron said with a sigh, trying to let her see that he wanted to be friends with her but he didn't know how to make it work so that no one got hurt.
"As much? I highly doubt she's been through as much, but I'm not asking for her life story so whatever you say." Bella said with a slight shrug. As harsh as it sounded, Bella didn't really care with Mack had been through. She had enough of her own problems she didn't want to think about to worry about someone else's. Sure, if any of her friends had been in trouble she'd worry but that was about it. "No shit, I thought she was just some person your parents hired." She said with a roll of her eyes. "I'm not stupid. I know how that marrige bullshit works. And I'm not asking you to forget she exists when you're around me. I'm well aware about her, I mean half of the time we even talk anymore it's about her, or it's an arguement, or it's an arguement about her, anyway all I'm asking is you do your best to keep her away from me. I get she's gonna defend you, but if /we/ fight, the last thing I need is her two cents. That's the reason she gets hit in the first place. I'm not saying I'm not gonna try if the same thing happens cause honestly I don't see her worth all of this, but you and I both know if we're around each other long enough someone's getting hit." She actually did want to be Aaron's friend, despite Mack. Sure, she hated the girl strongly, but she didn't see her worth her entire friendship with Aaron, as messed up as it was. It was usually seen as destructive for the both of them, but she knew when she needed him most he came through, even if she usually thought otherwise. "That can be done. I won't hit her, but you gotta make sure she keeps her distance."
"As much? I highly doubt she's been through as much, but I'm not asking for her life story so whatever you say." Bella said with a slight shrug. As harsh as it sounded, Bella didn't really care with Mack had been through. She had enough of her own problems she didn't want to think about to worry about someone else's. Sure, if any of her friends had been in trouble she'd worry but that was about it. "No shit, I thought she was just some person your parents hired." She said with a roll of her eyes. "I'm not stupid. I know how that marrige bullshit works. And I'm not asking you to forget she exists when you're around me. I'm well aware about her, I mean half of the time we even talk anymore it's about her, or it's an arguement, or it's an arguement about her, anyway all I'm asking is you do your best to keep her away from me. I get she's gonna defend you, but if /we/ fight, the last thing I need is her two cents. That's the reason she gets hit in the first place. I'm not saying I'm not gonna try if the same thing happens cause honestly I don't see her worth all of this, but you and I both know if we're around each other long enough someone's getting hit." She actually did want to be Aaron's friend, despite Mack. Sure, she hated the girl strongly, but she didn't see her worth her entire friendship with Aaron, as messed up as it was. It was usually seen as destructive for the both of them, but she knew when she needed him most he came through, even if she usually thought otherwise. "That can be done. I won't hit her, but you gotta make sure she keeps her distance."
Aaron decided not to talk about them anymore or compare their stories, it was clear that both of them had bee through a hell of a lot. Aaron had an easy life, but somehow he had ended up with them who were still trying to fix their things, Aaorn could help them out as much as he could but he kenw taht they'd never get a long. He couldn't blame them, they had their own reasons. "We ahven'tt alked in weeks though. Because we wanted to avoid drama and for a while I thought it was the best idea. I care about you though, I'm glad that we're tryign to reach a good point again. All I ask of you is not to hurt her anymore, Bella. That's all." Aaron said with a small shrug, he had to make her see that he ahd more thigns to lose when it came to their friendship if things went wrong.
"She won't talk to you, okay? She's not your fan either, trust me."
Bella didn't think the girl had actually been through that much. She didn't really trust her jusdgement anymore considering she used to think of her father as a good guy. "I know, but when we did things were like that. That doesn't matter though." She wasn't really worried about how they were before, she was more concerned where they were now. She nodded softly at what he said. "I won't, I won't, as long as she doesn't come at me first." She was going to try to not beat on the girl. She knew if the girl kept her distance then it should be easy. She was glad to be actually trying to fix things with him. Sure, she had been mad about everything before, but deep down she knew that she needed him around. She could only stand a few people at this school and as much as he aggrivated her, Aaron had been one of those people. "Really?" She gasped as if she were actually shocked. "I thought she adored me. My entire life is a lie."
"She had never come at you first. She defends me and you know why that is." Aaron decided to finish the topic there, he didn't know what he'd do if Bela hurt Makc again but he was sure that if shit went down between them and Makc got hurt because of his decisions, he'd never forgive himself. They had been particularly elaxed for the shot amount of time that Bella hadn't talked to him, but Aaron loved Bella as a friend. He knew that she understod him a lot more than most people did. "So what's next for you then? Who are you gonna talk to?"
"Okay well just tell her her opinion's not wanted unless asked." Bella knew Mack never actually started anything with her, but in her mind the girl wouldn't have been hit if she didn't try to get in her business. She was aware that there were better ways to handle things like this, but that was the best way she knew how. Since not talking to Aaron her life had been pretty much the same for the most part. She actually began to miss the twos' banter after a while. The two got each other a lot easier than other people. "Uh, hmm.. what's next? Well I'm either gonna try to somehow get my shit together or continue being a hot mess." She said with a shrug. "I might have someone in mind but I dunno yet."
Aaron rolled his eyes a little bit as Bella kept saying the same thign over and over again. He hadn't said anything, but if things did end up taking a bad turn, then this would be the last chance that he could give Bella. There was nothing that he could do about it. Sighing softly at her words, Aaorn nodded. "What are you planning on doing after school? Got any plans?" Aaron murmured, licking his lips.
Bella looked over at him, noticing an eye roll. She decided it'd be best if they were actually gonna make up to drop the topic. When it came to talking about her they both had very different opinions for obvious reasons. "I literally just decided I'm trying to get my shit together." She told him. "So right now... nothing." She shrugged. "I mean, being someone who's going insane that doesn't leave me with all the much to work with." She laughed softly at herself, even though she thought it was true. "All I'm really good at doing is smoking, drinking, punching, guitar somewhat and being a bitch so unless there are any open spots in the 'volient guitar playing junkie bitch' career I'm gonna have to keep an open mind."
Aaron knew what feeling lost was like. a few months agi he had no idea of how he'd manage to attend college. He'd never really thought that he was good enough at soccer to be recruited, but apparently people thought different. He had already accepted Maryland's offer and with that came a lot of responsibility. He had been asked to train harder than ever, stop drinking and smoking altogether and to definitely be away from drugs. There were specific things that were expected of him now and he was trying to get used to it. "I know what you mean, not the being insane part? But I was defintiely lost. School was enver a thing for me so I think I got lucky that I'm talented enough to be recruited. So I'll be moving to Maryland when school starts as crazy as it sounds." Aaron shrugged lightly before biting down on his lip. "But what about something that you'd like to do?"
"Maryland?" She nodded. "Wouldn't have been my first choice but if you like then that's what matters." She thought about the question. She wasn't actually sure what she'd like to do with herself. She didn't really think she'd do anything other then what she was doing now. "I don't know." She said honestly. "I mean, I'm not a dumb ass so college is an option. That asshole isn't dumb enough to deny me any funds so money's no object I don't think." That fact that she had more options than some made the idea more intimdating. She couldn't even plane out her next week, let alone her whole life in one sitting. "Maybe something with guitar? I don't think that'd leave me with really any options though." She shrugged lightly as she still thought the question over.
"It's my best opportunity. I was recruited by their soccer team, there are good chances of being first string too so I will definitely go with it. It was that or UCLA, which is too far from home for my liking." Aaron said with a small shrug. He was sure that Bella knew how much he loved soccer so having this opportunity was so important for Aaron. He knew that Bella was like him though. Money wasn't an issue, they didn't need scholarships, they could pay for it and be good to go but it was tough to go to college if you didn't know if that was what you wanted. "Only if you're good at guitar. If you're good, you gotta find a band, hopefully hit the road and shit. You don't have to worry about money, right? It's about making your dreams come true."
"The further the better, at least that's how I saw it." Bella shrugged lightly. "But either way, that's good." She knew he always had a love for soccer, so she was glad he was putting it to good use. "Nah, no band. In a band I'd have to listen to someone else. I'd go solo." She told him, now actually thinking about it. She'd rather do it on her own, knowing that she wouldn't take well to not being completely in control and a band was a group effort. "I mean, I don't suck at it. I'm not sure if I'm /that/ good but I can get there."
"You know that I get homesick easily and I've always loved New York." It was true too, he'd been to a lot of cities but he had always loved New York the better. It was big, there were far too many cultures, and he had grew up in it. It also helped that Mack would be close to New York too. And Maryland had offered him way better things. "I've never seen you play, buthey, I never thought I was good enough to play in college and look at me now."
"I know, but the last place I usually wanna be is home for.. obvious reasons. Yeah, New York's not too bad. If I had to go somewhere though I'd go somewhere like Miami, or LA.. or Nashville." Bells had almost been around the whole country since she went from school to school . Those were the three she could say she actually had a good time in, compared to everywhere else. "Well that's cause I've never had a reason to play around you I guess. I thought you were pretty good."
Aaron nodded lightly. He definitely understood why Bella would pick any place over her house. From what he knew about her family, it was like living in a ngihtmare. While Aaron's family was something amazing and where everyone cared about everything, Bella had a way more than shitty situation. "I've heard Nashville is where the good music happens so that might be a good opportunity. You listen ot good music. So you write your own stuff, though?" Aaron asked, shrugging his shoulders a little bit. "Thanks. You gotta show me how you play sometime."
As much as Bella wanted to leave the state for good, she knew that was impossible. Her friends were here, and more importantly, her sister was. The two weren't that close at all anymore since she had been from school to school, but she knew she had to look out for the girl. Expecially with a dad like her's. She didn't think he'd do anything because he knew she would kill him as afraid of him she was. She nodded softly. "Exactly. That might be my best shot. Still not too sure though cause I could always get something good around here." She said, still not entirely sure of how she was gonna go about everything. "Not yet, but I proably have enough shit to go off of to write a thing or two." She never actually sat down and wrote anything, but she knew that she had the life experience to get some ideas down. "Once I do that I just have to record myself and send it out to people I think. Something like that." She said with a shrug. "No problem. Of course."
"Well, hey, it's New York! If you can't find something here then you won't find it anywhere else." Aaron exclaimed gently. Truthfully, his first plan had been sticking in New York for as long as he could until he found something to do but now that he had a place to go, Aaron was excited even if he'd be hours away from New York and ever farther from Mack. "That's true, you have experience, you know? Enough to write some stuff." Aaron nodded a little as she explained what she thought she'd do. "That osunds like a good idea, maybe you should get to do that soon so you have something to look forward to after school."
"Exactly. New York, California and Nashville are the best places I can go if I wanna do something along those lines." Bella had been to California and Nashville while going through different schools. Back then she wasn't as bad as she was now, so she had still had some hopes of a futre. She had done some research on music and what she'd need to do to get into it and it seemed to easier than expected, as long as she was good, and pretty. In her mind she definitely was at least pretty, and she thought she was alright. "True. If I did do any writing though I'd probably have some dark and fucked Lana Del Rey type shit. Not that that's necesarily a bad thing because she's pretty good. I probably should, get it done with to spare more waiting time."
Aaron nodded, definitely thinking that she was right about those cities. He'd only been to LA and New York from all three of them and they were very music oriented cities. Anywhere you went in New York, you could hear music and well, LA was LA. "Lana Del Rey is cool though? Like she writes dark stuff and manages to make it commercial, I think that's a gift." Aaron said with a shrug. He didn't know a lot about music, but he knew a little bit from being on the road with his mom and wha the heard Mack talk about. "I think you're starting to have a plan then!"
Bella nodded in agreement with the boy. She was a fan of her music and she knew if she was to do music it'd have the same dark feelings she gave off. "I know, being like her wouldn't be too bad. Except for the lips I mean that bitch probably goes throught a whole thing a chapstick at one use. Everything else is good though." She didn't learn every single thing, considering some things you had to learn from actually getting out there and doing them, but she knew the basics. "I think so too. Hopefully a good one." She knew it wouldn't be easy getting her shit together but she hoped with the people around her she could manage it. After a few seconds she slowly got up from the floor. She stood in place for a few minutes, her legs falling asleep from being in the position for as long as they were. "I dunno about you, but I'm tired and I don't think the floor is where I wanna crash." She said, waiting a for seconds to see if he was getting up to join her and then went to go back to the shared room.
Aaron laughed, he actually laughed because hell yeah, that was a good way to describe Lana Del Rey's mouth. For a moment he had forgot how much he enjoyed Bella's company, Aaron was used to being the crazier one when he was with his friends, but with Bella, she was the one who made him laugh way more often. "I don't know how you manage to come up with that stuff, Bella, I swear." Shaking his ehad a little bit as he grinned, Aaron stood up when she mentioned falling asleep on the floor. She was right though, it was late and it'd been a log day, actually it'd been a tough couple of days now considering everything. "Yeah, let's go back. I need to sleep good or I'll suck at practice tomorrow." Aaron said with a small shrug, walking back to the dorm with his pillow under his arm.
Bella was always the crazier one of her friends. Even before she thought she was going crazy. It was really just because she was reckless. She didn't genuinely care about anything anymore, so it made her look courageous or insane to whoever she was around. She stopped for a second, not sure how to answer him. "Neither do I, really. Just kinda comes out." She said with a small shrug. Her body had felt like she had 50 pound weights chained to her wrists. The last couple of days she had been avoiding Aaron so that meant staying out late. It wasn't exactly new to her, but usually she'd get a lot more sleep. "Yeah, and if I'm gonna do this whole writing thing I don't think it'd work with my brain tired." She said as she walked with him.
Aaron opened the door for her and waited until she was inside to walk in after her, closing the door after they were both inside. "Definitely true. I'm warning you, I'll wake up super early to go out for a run around like 5 am or something. They're kicking my ass at soccer practice so I gotta keep in shape." Aaron said playfully, even though it was true. Dropping himself on his bed, he placed his pillow under his head and sighed. "At least we're on good terms again."
Bella smiled as he opened the door for her, quickly going back into the room. "Five? Fuck, that's early. I don't get why, I mean, you look fine. You're like a midget body builder." She teased as she hopped back onto her bed. She always found fun in teasing him about height. Sure, she was shorter than him, but not by that much compared to other people around her. It was one of the things they were friends, that's how she saw it at least. "As long as you don't wake me up, we're all good. Unless you have Starbucks." She said, half-jokingly. She nodded at his next words. "Yeah, that's good."
"Shut up." Aaron said with a small laugh. Getting under the covers, Aaron shook his head and laid back down trying to get more comfortable. All he could think about was the fact that he needed to figure out if this had been the right decision, because if things got messed up again and Mack got hurt once again, Aaron would never forgive himself or bella for that matter. "Nah, sorry, I can't drunk Starbucks on weekdays, I'm on a super awful diet now." He grinned and then closed his eyes, trying to relax. "'Night, Bella."
"Sure thing shortie." Bella said with a wink, getting settled in the bed. She was glad to have actually made up with him. Sure, she wasn't thinking it when she was avoiding him, but she needed more people like him around. Most of the people around her really just didn't care what happened to her. She knew though if she laid a finger on Mack it'd be back to the way they were. She knew she could control her temper. She had the thousands of other times she wanted to punch her and didn't. She looked over at the boy as he spoke up."No Starbucks? Soccer sounds like hell right now." Sure wasn't necesarily addicted to it, but if she had to go a day without a frappacino heads would roll. "Niiight." She said softly as she pulled the covers over her head, falling asleep soon after.
The moment the announcement was posted on their common room board, Georgia smiled and shook her head. Out of all people, she would be paired with Drew. The girl would admit that the room assignment was going to be a breeze seeing as the two got along quite well since her arrival at the prestigious school. Even though their differences outweigh their similarities, Georgia couldn't help but enjoy the company of the rebel boy. Packing whatever she needed for the week ahead, the brunette made sure she brought the essentials--especially her make-up bag, toiletries and beddings. She wasn't much of an obsessive-compulsive when it came to these things but the girl didn't trust Drew's roommate and just had to make sure her weeklong stay wasn't going to be uncomfortable in the slightest way.
It's been a few days into the week and so far, Georgia has spent most of her time out of her new dorm and taking after-school classes to make up for a few missed credits that are requirements for graduation. The brunette would occasionally catch her new roommate in their dorm room but for the most part, they haven't properly hung out seeing as she would always be exhausted at the end of the day and would end up crashing before Drew could even say a word. But today was going to be different. As Georgia was heading out to another after-school class, she received a text from another student saying that it was cancelled due to their teacher not being available. Dropping her bag on the desk, Georgia was just going to send a text to Drew wondering where he was when she heard the door knob turn and saw the boy entering the room. "Hey, I was just about to text you.." she said, looking up at him.
Meredith wasn't a big fan of the new roommate situation. She was a shy girl who prefered to keep to herself, but she had to admit that she didn't get the worst roommate. Despite not knowing much about James Mere had come to the conclusion that they would probably get along if they both put in a little more effort, instead of sleeping in the same room and ignoring one another. They only had a few days left of the room swapping experiment before Meredith was back in her usual room, so she decided to make the most of it. Stepping out of her comfort zone couldn't be that bad.
She headed back to her new room. As Meredith went to unlock the door she noticed that in was already open, she couldn't help but be confused, Mere had sworn that she had locked it. Then she remembered James, and figured he must have gotten out of class early, or was like so many other Riverdale kids and didn't bother going. Mere opened the door shrugging her bag off her shoulder as she walked to her side of the room and placed the book filled back onto her mattress. "Hey" she called politely over her shoulder at the boy. "What did you get up today?" Meredith tried to ask as casually as she could manage to the complete stranger she had been sharing a room with. After putting her school books away she crawled into her bed crossing her legs and opening her laptop in front of her.
