Protector of Teyvat (a troll hell-bent on reviving everyone just for fun) P—2
Isekai’d reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks
Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau, op reader
Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You were a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You too, hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces. And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friend suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face
Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.
Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater
“T-The hilichurls… turned into humans?” Because of what she had just seen, Amber's eyes were completely expanded, and you could almost get the impression that she was on the verge of exploding any moment now.
You find yourself thinking that it is understandable. After all, raising someone from the dead isn't something that happens very often; in fact, not even archons are able to do it.
You chuckled and smiled sarcastically at the three people who were staring at you in complete and utter disbelief.
You stood there with your arms crossed as you looked over at the hilichurls that had been transformed into humans with confused expressions adorning their faces.
"Oh wow…" You said while putting on a show of ignorance regarding what had just taken place. "What a miracle it is that they have been brought back to life!" You delighted everyone by clapping your hands.
"P-Paimon was very certain that it was Y/N who brought them back to life just now..." Paimon mumbled something to herself as she scratched the top of her head.
“Hm? That is ridiculous. I just smacked them across the face with a fried egg, see?" You answered as you moved closer to the hilichurls that had been converted into humans by slapping their faces with a fried egg that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
And as a matter of fact, a noticeable improvement could be seen in the appearance of the other people's skin after the fried egg had been applied to their faces. They let out a sigh of disgust as they observed the yolk splattered all over their faces.
"Paimon had no idea that a fried egg was capable of doing that..."
Aether shook his head at the innocence of his traveling buddy. It was perfectly clear that you were making light of the situation. At least now he is aware that you were telling the truth when you stated that you allowed the Anemo Archon to have a seat in the seven.
“This—” Amber opened her mouth to speak while simultaneously covered her mouth with her palm in shock. "This is really incredible news! You are able to give them a second chance at life!"
"What caused them to become humans?" Aether questioned while frowning in confusion.
You gave a light hum as you brought your hand up to pet him on the top of his head. "Perhaps your sister knows the answer you're looking for.”
“Our benefactor…” As soon as you turned your attention to them, they started talking, and Aether made a low rumbling sound.
You gave them a sideways glance while turning your head to the side since you thought it was likely that they were bewildered by the situation. Their final recollections would be of fighting for their homeland just before the curse took full impact.
They all got on one knee in front of you, which caused you to raise an eyebrow.
"Ah-ah, there's no need to be grateful to me. You probably aren't aware of this, but I'm a very awful person.” You said with a playful tone.
The people around you gave you a disapproving shake of the head as they expressed their dissatisfaction. Who in the devil would even believe a statement like that after what you have done?
“We were in such a painful dream— we are gratefu—"
You made a huffing sound while crossing your arms. "I find it extremely unpleasant when people thank me or express gratitude in any form. You deserve to live, no? I was only performing my duties at the time."
"Paimon speculates that Y/N is simply not accustomed to being thanked at...?"
You let out a sigh and shook your head in a deliberate manner. You looked down at them and they immediately thanked whichever gods were responsible for allowing them the opportunity to finally take a good look at the face of the one who had helped them.
They feel as though fortune was on their side because a God gazed at them with such kindness in their eyes, despite the fact that they were literally citizens from a nation that does not worship any gods.
"How can we possibly repay you...?"
You cocked your head to the side and hummed to yourself while you started to think.
“Brace yourselves.” You spoke.
“Wha—?”
"Oh, wait, here, have this." You smiled broadly as a variety of visions comprising a range of elements appeared seemingly out of thin air.
They did nothing but blink in bewilderment as they held the small vision in their hands, looking like toddlers who had been given machine guns.
At this very moment, Amber was on the verge of passing out. Witnessing a group of individuals all at once getting their visions is unsettling to say the least. It feels even more wrong to breathe the same air as you!
Oh, my archons, her life is not a sufficient payment to be able to witness such a once-in-a-lifetime event!
“Let’s all hang out once in awhile, hm? Don’t forget to say hello to Lulu for me!”
Aether raised a brow. Lulu?
With a wave of your hand, they vanished into thin air, and you sent them to a place where Lumine and the Abyss Order are currently staying.
To say that Lumine was horrified to the core when a group of humans suddenly appeared above the head of the abyss mage who was just talking to her would be an enormous understatement.
"Y-You can grant visions too!?" The scream that Paimon let out was so loud that it made you wince.
“Sorry!”
You indicated with a wave of your hand that everything was fine, and Paimon immediately let out a sigh of relief.
"Aether, do you know her, or is she a stranger?" Amber's lips were covered as she leaned in close to the man and mumbled something. In response, he gave a nod that conveyed something close to uncertainty.
You snorted as you extended your hand in front of Paimon and insisted that she give you, her hand. And as she did, a gnosis appeared in your hand.
"Oh, my dear archons!" Paimon reacted, fixating her gaze intently on the bright object that was floating directly above your palm.
"If we were to sell this, we could make a ton of Mora!"
“What—!?” Amber and Aether shouted at the same time.
You blinked and stroked your chin with your index finger as if you were considering what you had just heard. "If I remember correctly, there was a term for buy one and get one free. What if we double it?"
"No no no! Paimon is not even certain that there is a single person in Teyvat who can afford a gnosis! In addition to that, don't you think the other archons will feel uncomfortable about it?”
"Why should we worry about how they feel?" You huffed as you continued, "The one ruling Inazuma handed her gnosis to a friend, the one ruling Mondstadt doesn't even use it, and the one ruling Liyue will probably give up his gnosis in the near future.
"Well, if we're talking about the wealthiest individual in Teyvat right this minute..." You made a soft mumbling sound.
“Should we offer it for sale to the Tsaritsa? You smiled mischievously while cocking your head ever-so-slightly to the side.
As soon as you uttered that, an excruciating ringing sound immediately started up in your head. You gritted your teeth and squeezed one of your eyes shut.
“Y/N, are you okay?” You heard Aether’s worried voice.
"I thought we were each other's best friends! You should be aware that she wants a fight with me!” You can clearly hear Celestia nitpicking away inside of your head. As is her custom, she is highly dramatic.
“Well, it’s partly your fault that she wants to fight you.”
The three looked at you in surprise and astonishment as your choice of words came out of nowhere. To silence them, all you did was give them your whole attention while pressing a finger to your lips.
“Hmph…” You could hear her dejected voice.
“Oh hush, you have me. Just let them do their own thing for now.”
“Alright, but why are you selling a gnosis?”
"Creating a strategy for one's own survival is the first step toward leading a more fulfilling life," After having a good laugh, you promptly severed your connection with the Celestia before she could even begin to complain again.
“At least come visit us—!”
Oh, your closest friends and their overprotective tendencies when it comes to you. Why won't they just let you breathe and stop figuratively and physically clutching onto you for dear life?
"Your highness, who were you speaking with only a moment ago?" Amber stuttered, and for some reason, despite her outgoing nature, she found herself experiencing sudden feelings of shyness. I mean, really, how could you possibly hold that against her?
She hasn't even entertained the thought of speaking with an archon, and yet here she is having a conversation with someone who is significantly more powerful than the archons!
“Oh please, Y/N is fine,” you gave her a friendly smile and told her, “The Celestia is in full support of our business!”
They were all shocked beyond belief and let out a collective gasp.
As they imagined every people of Teyvat holding a gnosis, everyone in the room began to break out in a cold sweat at the back of their necks. You couldn't possibly be serious, could you? Surely you must have been joking. Right?
You met three new people along the way, and the four of you set off on a journey to the city that is known for its freedom. They all came to an agreement that the information on your identity and the incident with the hilichurls should not be shared with anybody else.
You trailed closely behind them, periodically turning your head to take in the beautiful surroundings and the people who belonged to your little archon.
“Let me officially introduce the city of wind, dandelions, and freedom— Travelers under the protection of the Knights of Favonius — Welcome to Mondstadt!” Amber grinned broadly as she placed her hand on her chest and cupped her other hand on her hip.
"O-Oh, not that her highness Y/N doesn't already know about Mondstadt...” Amber massaged the back of her head nervously as you made her blush with your laughter.
"I don't. I didn't have enough time to look into it, so I'm grateful for the introduction. Mm, the only figure of this nation that I am familiar with is the archon,” You were able to make her feel better with the words that you spoke, and now Amber can be seen beaming with happiness once more.
That, as well, is a blatant lie. You have completed so many commissions in this nation while you were still a player, so of course you are familiar with every nook and cranny of this city.
You didn't say anything while Amber and Paimon went into great length explaining things to Aether; the only thing you did was hum sometimes in reaction to what they were saying.
You were on the sidelines as Aether received his wind glider and put it through its trials for the first time, which resulted in a successful outcome.
Ha, that kid used to fly around with his very own set of wings before.
You swung your legs around gleefully as you sat precariously perched over the railings.
It is only a matter of time before the city is shrouded by ominous clouds and Dvalin makes another appearance. This means that you will be able to see your little floatie as well.
Aether descended toward Amber, who was standing there waiting for him once more, as the three of them observed that thick clouds and fog had begun to cover the skies above Mondstadt.
“The sky...” Amber uttered those words with a note of apprehension.
People immediately began fleeing to safer areas as Aether and Amber gazed up at you with worried expressions on their faces, as if pleading with you to take some action.
You only smiled at them before speaking the words, “The stormterror is absolutely adorable, no doubt about it, no?
“E—Eh!?” Your response caused Paimon to exclaim, and at that very moment, a wind tornado was closing in on them and ultimately launched Aether into the air.
You heaved a sigh as you stood up from the rails, your palm shining with some unknown power as a barrier began to enclose the city and prevent any harm from approaching.
You sighed again as you began to protect the citizens of the city. However, since you didn't make an effort to clear away the fog, everything will continue to be a mystery.
You cast your sight upward, in the direction of where Aether is floating in the air thanks to Venti's power, and the two people who were observing you followed your gaze in that direction.
"Don't worry, your highness! We will be all right!"
You couldn't help but laugh as you soared to the location of Aether, where you could sense Venti disguising as one of the thousand winds.
“I’m preventing your fall with the power of a thousand winds.”
“Oh? Little floatie came into rescue too?” You teased as the mysterious voice began stammering.
“L-Little floatie…?”
"Alright, alright, let's concentrate on this," You gave Aether a friendly smile while you ruffled his silky locks with your fingertips.
"Don't worry about a thing; little floatie will look after you."
Aether frowned, indicating that he found the idea quite unappealing. "How about you?"
You hummed as you sensed the wind from Venti moving closer to you as though it was also interested in you.
"I'm quite curious to find out if slapping a fried egg on the stormterror's blood clot will be of any assistance."
Aether's jaw dropped in disbelief. You’re still not done with the fried eggs!?
"Hey, what do you think of this idea, little floatie?"
The mysterious voice heaved a cough and mumbled, "Eh..."
After hearing their response, you rolled your eyes at them. They had a feeling that you wouldn't be speaking anytime soon, so Venti made the decision to explain how to make use of the power.
You were observing everything that was going on around Aether as he started to harness the power of the wind.
You made a few comments about how the wind power looked like a machine gun which made Venti cough multiple times to hide his laughter.
“Not enough. Do you want me to slap you with an almond tofu for an increased damage?”
“W—What?”
You didn't bother to wait for his approval before presenting him with the plate of almond tofu that magically emerged in your hands and then you gently slapped it in front of his face.
It was such a surprising thing that you could practically feel Venti shaking, which almost caused him to lose control of the wind. It was that shocking.
As Aether took the final shot, Dvalin let out a roar, and you swiftly flew over to the dragon, which appeared to be about to collapse as it was shaking in the wind.
Venti stayed only long enough to watch the softening of your eyes as you stared at the blood clot on the dragon's back. Aether slowly flew down to the area where the others are, but Venti did not leave.
He watched as your bright hands gently caressed the dark crystal, which immediately silenced the dragon's roaring.
You were reluctant to completely remove the blood clot because it was Venti and Aether's responsibility to do it. However, because you are so compassionate toward individuals who are suffering, all you did was relieve the discomfort that the dragon was experiencing.
It is completely up to destiny to decide whether or not the abyss mage will still be able to exert control over the dragon.
"Little floatie," You moved your attention to the wind that was swirling. "The traveler is known to be trustworthy. I have complete faith that you are aware of the next steps."
The strong wind has started to die down, and the only sound that can be heard out is a faint “thank you.”
You led the weakened dragon back to the ground, and as soon as the two of you landed, three abyss mages suddenly appeared. You grimaced when you realized that Lumine must have sent them to seek you out.
"Our gracious benefactor," An abyss mage started things off. "Our princess would want to offer her sincere gratitude to—"
You heaved a sigh as you frowned and crossed your arms while looking at them. "I believed that I conveyed to them that receiving gratitude is not something that I like in any way,"
“Uh… they may have mentioned that.”
You gave your temples a light massage as the headache began to set in and asked, "So why are you here?"
"We would like to make a request that you lend us a hand in the restoration of our once-thriving nation and in rescuing its people from the curse."
"Oh, I had already made preparations to carry out that task," You gave your response, and then proceeded to yawn.
If only they knew that your two friends were the cause of their fall, they probably wouldn't be as friendly with you as they are now if they knew that.
As they drifted closer to you, the abyss mages showed signs of happiness; however, when they heard your next words, "But not right now," their happiness quickly turned to disappointment, and they almost plummeted to the ground.
“But— why?”
"Of what use is a nation if it does not have its people?" As you lounged contentedly on Dvalin's back, a sluggish expression began to appear on your face.
“So…”
"If I happen to come across one of your own, you can rest assured that I will deliver them to your princess so that she may deal with them." You uttered those words in a languid manner while staring at them. "Focus on gathering your people, since your nation will not all of a sudden grow a foot and run anyways."
"We are in all sincerity grateful for—"
“Hush.”
They abruptly stopped speaking once they were reminded that you do not enjoy receiving gratitude or hearing thank yous in any form.
You are truly a weird God— they think. But kind like their princess, nonetheless.
“Then we shall return.”
You made a careless motion with your hand, indicating for them to leave immediately.
“Tell your princess that she should at least pay a visit to her twin, and if she does that, maybe I'll feel more motivated to assist you.”
Your level of excitement and enthusiasm is to be expected, of course. The sooner they come to an understanding with one another, the sooner they will get the fuck out of Teyvat.
That means, you won't have any more job to do. On the other hand, you get the impression that it won't be all that simple.
Not with the looks that Aether was giving you, and not with Lumine's nature, which dictates that she won't stop until she pays back whoever helped her out.
Just hush and go, okay!? What is it that they have planned for the following step? Bring themselves to their knees and make a formal request for your hand in marriage? You let out a sigh as the thought crossed your mind.
In spite of the fact that you intended to rebuild the once-mighty nation, you wanted to execute it in private. There is no question in your mind that once they discovered who their benefactor is, then and only then will they revere that benefactor. What then will become of a nation that does not believe in God or even worship one?
The mages of the abyss remained silent for a short while as they observed various expressions adorning your face. It turned out to be quite comical. It's no surprise that their princess was so interested in interacting with you that she issued a command to find you.
They continued to observe you while you glared, huffed, and grimaced at the ground, and it wasn't until you frowned at them that they eventually left with a quiet "thank you."
You rolled your eyes. “What a bunch of brats.”
As soon as you arrived back in Mondstadt, you saw the three of them speaking to Kaeya. Although the fog has long since dissipated, the sky itself is still completely dark.
As you made your way slowly towards the folks who were introducing themselves, you waved your hand and the barrier vanished before your eyes.
“This is Kaeya, our Cavalry Captain.” Amber carried on talking as if she had not noticed your presence and proceeded. “These two are travelers from afar, Aether and Paimon.”
Kaeya looked at the two individuals and gave a nod in acknowledgement. He then made direct eye contact with you and asked, "And who might this young lady possibly be?"
Amber's eyes widened as she shifted her gaze back and forth between Kaeya and you. Kaeya saw the outrider's expression, which seemed to indicate that she was at a loss for words regarding how to introduce you.
Your presence elevated the level of excitement that he felt towards everything.
“Oh, I’m Y/N. I sell visions and gnoses.” You responded with an expression on your face that was completely expressionless, and your voice was completely emotionless, which made the situation even more awkward and unbelievable.
The response that you gave seemed to take Kaeya completely by surprise. You? Selling visions? How in the devil is something like that ever feasible? And just what exactly are gnoses?
“Uh… haha…” Amber, at a complete loss for words, scratched the nape of her neck.
"Oh? I had no idea that lady Y/N is such a practical joker,” Even though Kaeya appeared to be laughing, there was not the slightest indication of humor in his voice.
"Uh-huh, you bet! Paimon is in agreement that Y/N has a tendency to joke around quite a bit!” In a frantic effort to salvage the situation, Paimon quickly nodded her head.
"Well, if you want to buy one, all you have to do is ask me..." You just said it while crossing your arms.
“Oh? I was wondering if you could sell me one then." It appeared as though Kaeya was making fun of you with his charming smile; in fact, it almost felt that way.
You seemed curious about something as you cocked your head to the side and then asked, "Don't you already have a vision though?"
"Well, having two would certainly make things more interesting, wouldn't you say?"
You took a moment to think about it before giving your approval with a nod. As you lifted your hands and opened your palms, visions of several elements, each glowing brightly, suddenly appeared.
Huh? He thought you were just joking the whole time!
It would be an understatement to say that Kaeya was caught off guard by the revelation. Are you a fraud? A magician perhaps? However, the visions you are holding exude such an overwhelming amount of power that it is difficult to even consider the possibility that they are a fake.
“Mm, you’re my first customer, so in appreciation of your patronage, I'll give you a discount if you buy Aether and Paimon a meal. Fair trade, don't you think?”
What fair trade? A simple meal in exchange for a vision? Do you not realize that visions are extraordinarily rare, and that the vast majority of people would give anything — including their lives — to receive one?
Of course you're aware of it; you're just messing with them for the sake of witnessing their reactions. It's likely that protecting Teyvat for thousands of years has had an effect on you, as seen by the fact that you're even doing this for no other reason than boredom.
Kaeya remained motionless in his stance; his eyes riveted on the bright visions that had no owner. After snapping out of his trance, he took off his cloak and wrapped it around you in a tender manner.
You made a sound that indicated that you were confused as he said, "Let's continue this conversation to our headquarters."
"Tch, I really need to bring Crepus back to life so that he can scold his children to death."
"Are you going to use fried eggs for that man too?" Paimon inquired, which caused Kaeya's surprise and horror to reach an even higher level.
Too? Does that mean that this wouldn't be your first time bringing someone back to life?
Now, Kaeya is positive that he wishes he could just pass out right there and then.
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