#reader writein

[trollsgonemild]

How Do I Ask A One-Day-Stand partner on a Real Date, The App doesn't give you your pilemate's Personal Contact Info and it is considered Poor Manners to ask, but I think they might be The One!

( ^)> if you think they’re the one, then gooooo for it~!

*(^ v ^)* there’s no time like the preseeeeent~!

( u)> even if it seems like bad manners, that should just prove to them that you’re serious about your feelings for them and you’re willing to shoulder that social stigma just to see them agaiiiiin~!

( ^)> and doesn’t that seem so romaaaaantic~?

( u)> i’ll even give you some examples of how to staaaaart~!

(-o)> “hey there, i know it’s not polite to ask for your personal information, but i had a really good time the other light and i think i really felt this amazing spark between you and meeeee~! if you felt the same, maybe we could get together again sometime soooooooooon~?”

(-o)> “i hope you don’t think i’m a creepy stalker, but i think maybe you’re my destinyyyyy~!”

( u)> you can also be a little more subtle about it instead of asking for their personal information, since that’s frowned upooooon~!

( ^)> instead of asking for their information, you can just give them yours and let them follow up with youuuuu~!

(-o)> “hey, i had a really good time the other liiiight~! maybe you felt what i felt, i don’t know, but if you did, here’s my personal number if you want to get in touch agaiiiiin~”

( u)> it might be a little scary to do, because then they might just leave you hanging and never call you baaaaack~! but at least that way, you put the choice in their hands, and if you want those hands to pap you for the rest of your life, then it’ll definitely be worth the waiiiiit~!!!

–plovir mosaed, tgm twitterpated~♪

[trollsgonemild]

Help, TGM, I need your advice! My moirail and matesprit are both seadwellers who've just entered into fleet service, and they've been given command of ships deploying to two different star clusters. I don't want to leave either of them but I can't go with both! What should I do?

If you’re old enough to have quadrants who have both entered fleet service, then it is likely you have already made your required genetic contributions and will not be given demands for another for quite some time, if at all. This is fortunate, because it means you can make a logical choice for practicality rather than for survival.

Though it’s hard to decide between two people that you pity unconditionally, the logical choice is to go with your moirail. Fleet comms aren’t always instantaneous, but they are consistent, and you’ll still be able to stay in contact with your matesprit, write to them, and send them holo messages. With enough work on both ends, you can still have a flourishing matespritship, and if you’re creative enough, you can still express that flush passion through the extranet.

On the other hand, you can’t pap your moirail through a camera. Your “shoosh” might come five minutes too late through a microphone. All quadrants are important to a balanced romantic life, but the physical presence of concupescient quadrants is really only necessary as far as making genetic donations to the Empire. The ability to physically go to your moirail and collapse into their lap is not something to be underestimated, and your presence would undeniably be better spent keeping your moirail stable and calm than it would be making sure your matesprit gets a kiss goodlight 

Despite the strong evidence that this is an obvious choice, that does not make it an easy choice to make. I’m sorry that you have to make such a difficult decision, and I wish you luck making it and living with the consequences.

- Abigyl Torina, TGM Dawnclaw

[trollsgonemild]

This juicy sn@pshot w@s t@ken by Paleboy editor Sedezn Liyur@ shortly before our most recent medi@ dep@rtment culling.

You m@y h@ve he@rd of the Enforcer, @nd th@t’s the title chosen by Lesc@s @b@ven, the elusive moir@il of our own Plovir Mos@ed. @n extr@ordin@rily effective bounty hunter, no one knows ex@ctly how he finds his t@rgets, only th@t he h@s never lost tr@ck of @ m@rk. More often th@n not, when @ high-profile crimin@l is brought to justice, it is due to the wiles @nd swiftness of the Enforcer. Since his work @t times t@kes him off-pl@net, he h@s little time to visit with his moir@il, so we @t TGM do our best to keep her s@fe @nd h@ppy while he keeps the pe@ce in our gre@t empire.

Don’t feel too b@d for Plovir, though. Most nights she comes into the office positively twitterp@ted over seeing her beloved moir@il in the fuzzy, sopor-sweet corners of her dre@ms. Remember: one perk of p@pping a subjuggl@tor is free reeduc@tion, which h@s been shown to st@tistic@lly incre@se the lifesp@n of lowbloods everywhere!

Feel free to write in for more juicy in-hive gossip!

- Mnthis Ch@up@, TGM T@lebe@rer

[trollsgonemild]

A previous relationship of mine left me with kind of... wonky hands, as a result of the other party's fondness for breaking my fingers (knowing that I didn't want her to and knowing that it might hurt my future pale relationships when that quadrant is particularly important to me, but I digress). Also, one of my hands is a cold robot hand. I'm concerned this might affect my chances with potential pale partners in the future... what should I do? My apologies if this is a silly question.

The traditional method of soothing and relaxing a pale partner is papping, but it is not the only way. For comfortable use of the robot hand in piling situations, I would recommend a fitted glove for use in pale situations; not too thick, but not so thin that you can feel the mechanical joints through it. If possible, pile in a warm area, and prewarm the glove before a feelings jam if you have enough prep time.

If you’re nervous about papping with your ruined hand, open up about that. Talk to your moirail (or potential moirail) about it. Maybe it’s hard to discuss, maybe it makes you want to run away or hide, but nothing is as romantic as being vulnerable with someone you care about. If they understand, if they care for you, they’ll grow to love your hands, despite your irregularities, and your bond will be that much stronger for it.

If you’re still concerned that your papping just won’t be up to standards, mix it up a little. Papping is an easy and obvious way to calm down a stressed-out moirail, but it isn’t the only way. Brush the back of your hand over their cheek, gently bump your knee against their leg in the pile, or sling your arm over their shoulder or around their waist - any way you can think of to be physically present and available should be effective. This is another thing you can speak to a potential pale partner about; find out the ways they’d best like to be touched or held in feelings jams in lieu of papping, and then do your best to do that. 

Your ex may have ruined your hands, but she didn’t ruin your spirit. If you come into your next relationship with trust and vulnerability, not even two robot hands can stand between you and a healthy moirallegience.

- Abigyl Torina, TGM Dawnclaw

[trollsgonemild]

I'm a cerulea|\| with all the viole|\|t impulses that come with my blood, but I'm as short as your average rust, so |\|o o|\|e takes me seriously! I wa|\|t a moirail, but |\|o o|\|e thi|\|ks I ca|\| protect them or that I |\|eed papping - occasio|\|ally, eve|\| a lowblood gets it i|\| their head that \they\ |\|eed to protect \me\! It's very frustrating, and I do|\|'t k|\|ow what to do. Am I doomed to a moirail-less spa|\|?

Your problem does not sound like you are having trouble attracting the right person; it sounds like you are just having trouble being taken seriously as a candidate for moirallegience in general. I believe that mentality itself is your problem, not your lack of a moirail.

Stop worrying about being seen as a strong and uncontrollable midblood. Your size is not important; if you are aggressive and out of control, those around you will notice. Think about what it is that you, personally, need in a moirail - what sort of qualities would compliment and balance yours? From the information I have gotten just from the query you sent, I would advise that you look for someone patient who takes you seriously and is not quick to make assumptions. 

For a relationship to work, both participants need to put in effort, and for you, perhaps that effort starts with looking for your future moirail instead of hoping that your perfect pale fantasy will fall into your lap.

Best wishes, and good luck.

- Abigyl Torina, TGM Dawnclaw

[trollsgonemild]

What Would you recommend for a pile for a person Who really likes soft things? the softest possible, really.

( ^)> tgm has a variety of instant pile kits ranging from ultra soft to moderately soft parts, available for purchase on our home paaaaage~!

( ^)> we’re also currently the sole distributors of hubony littyk’s hypoallergenic flagship pile line until they can be distributed properly to retail supplieeeeers~!

( ^)> personally, i’m a fan of the featherwings of prey instant pile kit, which uses real featherwing down to make the plushies soft and snugglyyyyy~ in addition to that, everybody likes a good, soft plushie, or if you’re tight on money you can use old clothes that you don’t fit in anymooooore~

( u)> for just generally really soft stuff, i’d recommend the triple c instant pile kiiiiit~! the three c’s stand for cotton, cashmere, and comfooooort~! it includes some soft, warm blankets, pillows, scarves, and caaaaapes~!

( ^)> it’s one of our most popular instant pile kits because you can ask your moirail to wear the clothes and then put them back into the pile so it smells just like theeeeem~!

( ^)> perfect for when you have a moirail who’s away a looooot~!

–plovir mosaed, tgm twitterpated~♪

[trollsgonemild]

Are there any blood colors that are better at the moirail business than anyone else?

( ^)> absoluuuuutely~!

( u)> everyone knows that jadebloods are just better at moirallegience than aaaaanyone else is~!

( ^)> they’re few in number so they have to be protected underground, but they have a carefully bred instinct to be gentle, nurturing, kind, comforting, and supportiiiiive~!

( O)> they even manage to take care of grubs, while i can’t even let my circular consumption surface go to the culinary block to be cleaned without licking off every last crumb of grubloaaaaaf~!

( u)> their bodies are the perfect temperature to pap and snuggle any caste without being too cool or too warm, and since all of the properly bred ones are ladies, they’re always super pretty to look at toooooooooo~!

( ^)> about nine sweeps ago, i actually wrote my debut article on the secret life of the rare surface-dwelling jadeblood, you can read an excerpt [here] if you’re interested in learning more about this beautiful and graceful caaaaaste~!!

( u)> surface jadebloods tend to be imported at request by high-ranking officials to be given a second chance at life when they can’t fulfill their natural duties in the brooding caverns -- our very own abigyl torina was unfit to work because she couldn’t sort eggs properly with her colorbliiiindness~!

( O)> but after her new moirail paid for her to get optical surgery, she became a senior editor at tgm with her very own pale relaxationwear liiiiine, warm&mild~!

( ^)> jadebloods are truuuuuly talented and their personalities naturally lean toward the domestic, and that’s why the majority of them need to be treasured and protected in the brooding caverns along with the future of our glorious raaaace~!

–plovir mosaed, tgm twitterpated~♪

[trollsgonemild]

alright im vviolet my moirails a bronzeblood an he wworks a lot an recently hes been talkin about pitchpale vvacilitation an i dunno wwhat to make of it is there any wway i can salvvage it back to pale if somethin goes a bit stabby

( u)> you’re the highblood here, so you’re going to have to be fiiiiirm with him~!

( n)> if you want to try it, then give it a tryyyyy~!

( u)> you’re naturally harder than your moirail, so if anyone’s really going to get hurt if things get stabby, it’s probably hiiiiim~

( o)> you have to be responsible and stop if things get too dangerous or pitch for your liiiiiking~!

( u)> if things won’t work out for him unless you vacillate, and if you can’t deal with vacillating, then the only option is to break up, i’m afraiiiiid~

( n)> i hope things work out for you, thouuuuugh~!

–plovir mosaed, tgm twitterpated~♪