*Invents machine that can reverse societal norms. Makes it so instead of skinniness and diets people think gorging yourself stupid all day every day and getting endlessly fat is what makes you hot.*
Not just hot, but healthy.
Being skinny is directly associated with malnourishment and famine. Being underweight means not giving your body proper nutrition!
The only diets people should be going on are those medically prescribed by doctors to help people safely return to a minimum healthy weight.
Honestly, human medicine and culture have long since moved on from the barbaric stone age where people had to hunt and gather for food. Once we figured out farming and ranching, we never really looked back. Everything about human society became focused on maximizing food production and preservation so that nobody would ever starve to death ever again.
Even before the industrial revolution really helped things along by making production techniques more efficient and compact, there wasn't a soul alive under six hundred pounds - which, according to my doctor shouldn't even be medically possible, anyway. But that was was what, about a thousand years ago? Don't quote me on an exact year, I just remember someone figured out the steam engine roughly a thousand years ago while trying to figure out a way to more effectively make soup in bulk.
As I was saying, according to my doctor, it should have been completely impossible to be less than six hundred pounds. And after checking the my phone, just now, there hasn't been a single adult human being weighing less than 2,000lbs mentioned in all of recorded human history.
I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be 4,000lbs, today. Aside from probably being on death's door, they'd probably be so cold.
According to the Bearau of Food & Weight Management, the healthy minimum size that an adult human male can be is around 8,000lbs - 16,000 for females. As a healthy minimum.
Not that anybody is even daring to flirt with such unhealthy lifestyle choices. Again, looking at my phone, the skinniest adult male alive is just under 32,564lbs - and they're only that thin because they've been in a coma for the last 20 years.
Now, my wife is a bit closer to the national average. Neither of us have been measured in a few years now, but her fitness watch estimates her at about 256,500lbs.
Of course, that's all just from a healthy living, consuming our daily recommended tonnage of condensed nutrient slop.
Porn stars, fashion models, and body builders are a different story, entirey.
The latter, body builders, dedicate their lives, 24/7 to pushing the boundaries of peak human physique by consuming enriched hyper condensed nutrient paste. Genuinely inspiring to see their girth spreading further and visibly rising higher every time I look toward the horizon over my own rolls.
