#realityisntreal

[oroisalchemy]

I am who I am But on the other hand Who am I anyway? Shape your reality by believing in and creating the countless possibilities ⭐ #losangeles #California #Hemet #bethechange #weareone #realityisntreal

[helloneels17]

Late last night I had to sew up a tear in my sports bra...

Me: Wow! These stiches are so even and straight! It looks like a machine laid these! *stops sewing* Me: ... Me: ....... Me: ................am I a machine? *camera zooms dramatically*

[alyishername]

Reality is not real. Foreal.

12:13 am. Still in the woods of HC. Mind still going 100 mph. Smoking Newports. Sober as a rock. Time is moving forward while I am not moving anywhere. Possibly in circles. Maybe. Don't feel like talking, guess I should write. They say its healthy for me. Not that it matters. I don't follow directions or suggestions well. Not by choice. It's a character defect. I have many that I am aware of & many more I haven't taken the time to discover or assign a name to. I am still figuring myself out. Here's what has been on my mind lately. Warning: I may not be able to make much sense & will probably contradict myself & have difficulty reasoning. Reality has been the focus of the majority of my thoughts lately. It began with a girl at my work saying her life sucked & her list of reasons why. I listened to her, because I can't help but listen to everybody, & when she looked at me for I'm assuming some sort of confirmation that her life truly does suck- all I could spit out was that her PERCEPTION of her life sucked. She looked almost pleased to find out that it only appeared to suck. She agreed with my statement & didn't mention it again. I stood behind the bar for a minute & thought about what I just realized. I turned to one of my regular guests & he saw the wonder in my eyes of a new question- he knows that look & is almost always ready for whatever I throw at him. This question was different. I was serious. I'm never really serious. Is reality real? I said it aloud & only got a confused facial expression as a response. I repeated myself. Several times. He finally put his hand up, a signal to stop repeating myself. He smiled & said "No. Reality is not real." I love when I discover & share my thoughts with others who can open their minds to thoughts that sound crazy, provocative, defiant, or just sound like straight up bullshit. Many people who know me or just happen to share a *moment in time* with me, know that I am a very curious, must-know, intelligent, attentive, bold, & creative woman with no real concept of what is considered appropriate or acceptable based on anything other than my own opinion & what I believe in. I don't know why "everybody" cares what "everybody" thinks... I don't even know who "everybody" is. I'm just Aly. & back to the real issue here... The word REALITY is a useless word in my vocabulary today. I can't use a word that I can't define or understand the definition of. Reality is defined as "the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined." When I read the definition listed above, I instantly wonder how we can determine what actually exists without seeing it as it appears or if not available to determine visually, we may imagine what it looks like & determine the existence based on whatever else necessary. Reality is later defined as "everything that has existed, is existing, & will exist." Much more broad of a definition but still not much help in determining if reality itself exists. I always thought reality was right now & would be a constant state, always changing but yet always the same. Reality was everything I could see, touch, taste, feel, & everything else that I knew was real. My reality was always changing, always getting harder to accept, becoming more difficult to hide from others & myself, & I wanted to change it. What I saw as my personal reality was never good enough for me. From the time I was a small child & could feel jealousy burning inside my chest when I saw the reality other kids had that I could only imagine or dream of... As I got older, the jealousy faded & my reality was whatever I wanted it to be. I learned to develop perceptions of my reality that could be easily distorted, manipulated, & adapted to the standards & expectations that I believed were necessary for a reality that I could accept & be happy in. I began to develop little alternate worlds long before I could identify my reason for doing so. School, cheerleading, school groups, anything & everything I could to stay out of the house. As I grew up, I just moved away & started over to escape &/or change my reality. For years, I ran from reality. I hid from reality. I ignored the realities that were staring me in the face, begging for attention & growing wildly out of control. Nothing made my realities go away because only my perception can change. Reality is my perception of what is real based on personal experience, knowledge ,trust, truth, & can be viewed differently on an individual level. Reality is the most confusing concept that I have tried to break down. Anything to do with the way I think, view, imagine, create, or combinations of thought processes are enough to keep me busy & ultimately drive me crazy. Reality is not a choice. It is however what we make it. My perception is my reality. I am 24 years old. I have a beautiful daughter & an awesome son. I just moved out to the country. This year has been a lot better than last. Above I stated a brief perception of my reality. Others may view it like this: I'm a teenage mom who dropped out of school to raise 2 kids. My boyfriend & I had an unexpected break up. My heart hurts but at least I can live with Lynley & her dad. Last year was full of drug & criminal activity & rehab @ jail & so much more. This year, not as many disappointments but some. The reality was not altered but the perception was very different. Nobody can live your life for you. Nobody can feel the emotions that you feel or understand why you feel that way. Nobody can think & get inside your head to produce the ideas you can. Nobody can ever possibly experience your life & agree with your perception of your everyday realities. I'm the only one who can tell my story.

[basicallyhaz]

Can I be on the list babe?

Sure :) x.

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