It's been a pretty hectic few months, which has left me with a weird string of emotions.
As you all know in June I started doing a Storyboarding Course, and I've only just recently finished it. Even though I feel like I have definitely progressed, I am nowhere near ready to tell a story. Not in the way that I want, and at the moment, I'm finding that very hard.
With this in mind however, I've have other extremely positive stuff happening at the same time. I've changed jobs twice in the last couple of months, purely because I wanted to find something that truly excited me, and I have found it. Not only is the job exciting and different to what I'm used to, it also gives me the free time that I need to work on my artwork, which is exactly what I wanted. It really does feel good to have find something and I can feel settled in a job for a while. I'm also making arrangements for my Wedding in November AND was learning to drive. All pretty hectic and always very busy.
It's a lot of stuff right? Well as I said it's all extremely positive, in fact I actually passed my driving test the other day, which is unbelievably relieving. Lessons gave me anxiety quite badly almost every weekend, especially last year, so I'm grateful that I no longer have to go through that. I may even just go for a bit of a drive later on, I finally have the freedom to do that.
Wedding stuff is pretty up to date at the moment, now we're just playing the waiting game. That feels nice too.
With all this positive stuff happening it's been giving me a weird mix of feelings. Yes I am extremely happy about all of it, but I am also exhausted. Even though there's so much positivity at the moment, it's A LOT to take on/manage in a small amount of time. I am very happy, but I'm only just starting to settle down from all the commotion, and all the stress that came with it.
Driving tests are obvious, they are stressful for everybody, I cried quite a lot after it was over, then proceeded to drive my tiny car for an hour and a half across country for a long weekend. After I passed I had A LOT of congratulations, which really was lovely, but it comes with pressure. I drove my friend to a relative's house the other day and I constantly thought 'he's judging my driving', 'I should be better at this' etc.
Weddings are obvious, not only are they expensive but the tiniest thing can stress you out hugely.
Changing jobs is obvious, going through any kind of job application process is horrible for everyone, especially if it's a long process of first interviews, second interviews, phone calls, emails and tests, all of which can sometimes take a good gauge out of your time, especially if you're already working.
I'd say that doing a course is obvious too, it's extra work on top of working, it's less time spent relaxing, but you're doing the stuff you want to do and paid to do, so you want to do the best you can, then you feel bad because you don't feel like your best is good enough, and you stress yourself out because you want to meet a deadline, so you end up rushing at the end trying to get everything done.
There you go, a lot of positivity does come with it's stresses, so hopefully it's understandable why my emotions feel a bit out of sync at the moment.
I had a bit of a lie in this morning, I deserved it, but even though I am relaxing a little today, there's still a niggle in the back of my mind going 'portfolio', 'draw', 'write' etc. I really have to make use of this time, otherwise my emotions will run riot and I won't be pleased with myself.
Writing this blog had actually really helpful this morning. I think I needed to let go of some steam a little bit.
Time to get to it, getting there slowly but surely.
