#reasonable expectations

[iwilleatyourcookies]

I know I will phrase this horribly because autism, BUT

I feel like the hardest part of having a disability or 7 is finding where the line between "internalized ableism" and "reasonable and good expectations for oneself." I feel like on sites like Tumblr, we go WAYYY to far toward "internalized ableism" when talking to other people. Like, that person had these expectations for themselves and they didn't meet them? Well, were they reasonable? Yes? Then they just failed. That's part of life and that is OKAY.

[greatmarta]

Reasonable expectations

What your parents owe you:

- food

- clothes

- a roof over your head

- emotional support

What your parents do NOT owe you:

- your dream wedding

- your dream car

- your dream house

- a college fund

Assistance in job-hunting, apartment-hunting or applying for scholarships is a reasonable expectation. What is most definitely not reasonable is expecting somebody to sacrifice all of their retirement savings so you could buy a house or send your kids to a private school.

Sadly, not all people can afford nice things. Worse, not all people can afford the bare essentials. This sucks. Still, we need to have reasonable expectations. Nothing is ever accomplished when people act like a-holes to one another.

I agree that parents should always act in their children’s best interest, but we must not forget that parents are people, too. Don’t set the parent on fire to keep the child warm. Have the parent share their body heat with the child. That way, both will be sustained.

[howifeltabouthim]

He thought that sounded nice in a way, just going through your entire life with no more expectations than that. Sometimes he wished he weren't so ambitious.

Donald Ray Pollock, from The Devil All the Time

[bibbityboppidi]

Trick-or-treaters better be lit this year, I fully expect a child to go fully into character dressed as the imposter, pointing a 5 dollar knife from the halloween store right at me or spear me in the chest otherwise this year is a waste.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Rational expectations are the opposite of “faith.”

Also, I can prove electricity exists.

[stability]

Sugar daddy goals: someone who will pay for all my Ubers and Lyfts

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 1064

Whenever I get the thought in my head, “My mom was able to do so much more and still get things done.” I have to remind myself that nearly three years ago I did nothing for the most part.

As the corporate world pushes everyone to go back into the office, I have been very blessed to have work accommodations. Granted, the accommodations are due to the fact I’ve been continuously having health problems for the past four years.

However, due to some annoying security features that result in certain programs being off limits to me unless I am on-site, and me wanting to pull my weight, I had asked to work on-site twice a week. I figured at the time that I could certainly balance that somehow.

And I can, but I have to recognize my limits.

In order to make working on-site plausible without sinking into bad habits, I prep for on-site the night before. This means removing as many time-draining barriers that could occur the next day. The backpack is pre-packed, the lunch and snacks are pre-packed and pre-placed in the fridge for easy grabbing, and everything I need is there. 

Spending time doing this however, means I don’t have as much time to spend doing other things, such as cleaning so I don’t have a long cleaning list over the weekend.

There is also the additional issue of trying to get as much exercise during my off-site days as possible, because I certainly won’t be moving as much on an on-site day (though I do try). 

Being on-site is draining in ways I don’t like, I am less likely to do things after work, even things I want to do, which is a pain.

Sometimes, at my worst, I ask myself what is wrong with me, after all I used to work on-site every single weekday. In which, I have to pause and remind myself that back then I cleaned once in a blue moon, didn’t write, didn’t do sudoku, didn’t make journal set-ups and didn’t play as many video games. Like, I would doomscroll or mindlessly read random stuff than play video games.

So, I can’t really rag on myself too much, I only notice now how difficult it is because I am trying to do everything I have to and want to do.

[h0r53f7y]

Perfection is an ideal, not a reality. That doesn’t mean you should give up or not even try, only that that you need to adjust your expectations along with anything else that genuinely needs it, and always give your true best efforts. Failure can be frustrating, but if you’ve truly done all you can, then try to take some solace in that. It can still hurt, either taking time or at best becoming less, but at least you didn’t half-ass it, ‘cause that is REAL failure. Even offering kind words and prayers, and checking in count towards doing something. Take care out there, and try to take this to heart.🙏💖