the willmack *gags* newsboycap gate of 2026 (#where’s wallace will) is so fucking weird and funny for many reasons but it did viscerally remind me of one of my favorite bits in one of my favorite fics, Four Virtues by speranza:
"Sex with love is the best thing," he muses, putting the pan down. "It's what everybody wants." Ray pulls off the mitt and regards the roast thoughtfully, scratching his head. "Okay, maybe not everybody," he adds after a moment, reaching into the drawer and pulling out a large knife. "There's people, I guess, who want to be tied up, hung from meat hooks, and whipped while somebody reads Dickens to them." Ray quirks a smile, shakes his head, and begins to carve the roast into thin slices. "'Pip had returned from the docklands'—Shh-whack! 'He found there was tea and cakes.'—Shh-whack!'" Ray stops, frowns, and then looks hard at me, face gone suddenly serious. "Though, you know—maybe that's love of a sort. Finding someone who loves you enough to do that."
"Well, yes," I say with a smile. "Someone who loves you enough—or loves Dickens enough."
Ray laughs as he loads the sliced beef onto a platter. "Oh, yeah, right. Like reading Playboy for the articles—I just do it for the Dickens.”
so, you know, maybe they’re doing sexy cockney rhyming slang at each other. maybe this is their bdsm chain hahahaha.