11|04|2025
Honestly it doesn't feel like I have been on a break for almost two weeks. I don't feel rested at all. Sleep fails to come at night, and when it does it's agitated and restless. I feel like Monday's therapy session will be an intense one. I have been trying to fill my days with relaxing activities like gardening, reading and finally continuing working on adding stuff in my commonplace book. My focus hasn't been the best so these activities have rarely been linear, I might start reading, then lose focus for ten minutes and then start reading again, which of course makes it sometimes more tiring than relaxing. Overall I have to admit this isn't my best mental health period. I have been doing my best to be kind to myself, trying to accept that some times are more challenging than others, and I'll get out of here one way or another.
Some recent joys in no particular order (because I refuse to give all my attention to the horrors™):
Got new plants for my herb garden since last year I had to get rid of a few that were destroyed by the behated slugs
Music, my number one companion through bad mental health periods since forever, I will never be grateful enough to the beloved tunes that make my days better
Got a very thoughtful and beautiful card from @ben-learns-smth and I might have gotten a bit emotional about it but they were good emotions bc I have great friends <3
Books and the joys of escapism. I have indeed been struggling with focus but it's still worth it when I can make my brain shut up and travel to lands far far away
Spent a whole morning with my brother, we were running work errands, but we had some great silly times together and it was very good
No emails at all! Which is great because the last thing I need right now is something important requiring my attention so it does count as a joy that professors are ignoring me lmao
Had a lovely meal with my mom for lunch in a restaurant, the food was amazing and despite the fact that usually my anxiety fucks up my ability to eat outside of my home I enjoyed every single bite with no problem at all
📖: Emily Wilde's Compendium Of Lost Tales by Heather Fawcett (80 pages in and ngl I am not getting into it as much as the previous two books. Maybe this one just had a slow start. I am also not super focused rn as I said so I might be part of the problem)
