Reclaiming Reality
A year and a half ago, something happened that upended my reality, making me question my perception, my memory, and the foundation of who I am.
(It didn't just affect me. How would you feel if someone you cared for, trusted, defended, was suspected of being someone else entirely? That the experiences and shared feelings that bonded you may have been based entirely on lies?)
So, I found myself in a self-gaslighting cycle. It sucked. But I am Annika. Annika is a stubborn, obsessive fuck. So I sought answers. Aggressively. And I found my soul, my heart, my chutzpah, and eventually, my voice.
Now that I've reclaimed my assertiveness, it's time to reclaim my truth. Reclaim a reality that I can validate.
But it's complicated. Some disclosures are more important than others; apologies, affection, affirming what created trust between us. But everything I say might be meaningless. Unless talk about how my credibility was compromised in the first place?
I don't know what consequences will result from that.
Hypothetically, our realities are interwoven, and they're woven most closely with those in our orbit. So, if I tell my truth, it should, eventually, resound with others, because it will share elements of their truth. That's what gives us a sense of validity - our reality is shared.
I know this, because I've experienced it. WE experienced it.