today my therapist praised me for putting so much effort into recovery aka seeing 3 different doctors pretty much weekly..
but.. like.... dude, i am still a hot fucking mess :/ :/ :/ :/ :/
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today my therapist praised me for putting so much effort into recovery aka seeing 3 different doctors pretty much weekly..
but.. like.... dude, i am still a hot fucking mess :/ :/ :/ :/ :/
I just feel like shit at the moment. The last two weeks I binged nearly every day. My stomach hurts and I want to throw up. But I know if do so, I'll hate myself so much, that I will cut me. And I'm cutting free since two years. I don't want to give up.... But in times like this it is really hard..
Skinny fat is the worst. I gained twenty pounds so far during recovery but I still wear a size 4 - 6 and I'm still having slip ups and backsliding sometimes. My mother in law told me to eat a sandwich when I was visiting her and then she started pinching at me and poking my tummy. Then she was like "Oh dear, so you've gotten kind of chunky huh? Maybe don't eat anything"
My god.
Just, I can't.
Oh my god. I should not have eaten those foods, I am so full and an in pain. Severe pain. Why couldn't I have eaten ice cream instead? Of course I choose the most filling foods to make up calories on - smoothies and oatmeal. Ughaibsnehege dying :'(
HELP!
We have some guests at our house and my mum was supposed to make my dinner for me, but she was so preoccupied that she didn't. And my ED thinks it's a sign that I shouldn't eat anything because it's too late and I'm not really hungry. I know I should eat something but I don't want a full meal. Oh god I don't know what to do. And I don't want to go downstairs and just make myself a sandwich cause that will look wierd. What should I do?