And ceasing to allow perfectionism to control our lives.
I am a perfectionist. Recently I decided that I wanted to live a healthier lifestyle, so I decided to do some research on the best way to do that. No, not a good way, but the best way. I spent hours each day researching the pros and cons to each diet. Then I decided that I should stop focusing just on diet and expand my focus to things we use every day, like cleaning products, essential oils, skincare, and makeup. Enter the world of “all natural” vs “chemical” debates. Every time I thought I found something I could implement, such as using “x” oil or choosing to follow “y” diet, I would find a scathing critique of it by a self-professed “expert” on the topic. What am I going to do now? Honestly, it got so bad that I ended up skipping meals because of it. I couldn’t decide if a Paleo meal or a Keto meal would yield the best results, or if I should give into my craving for a wholesome bowl of oatmeal. So, I picked none of the above and continued about my day in a hunger-induced foul mood, snapping at my kids and seeking solace from more mom/lifestyle/wellness blogs to tell me what to do next.
Then I noticed more side effects. In addition to acting irritable, I was constantly exhausted, depressed, and very cold, all the time. I was losing weight rapidly, and my basal body temperature was at a record low. I want to have kids in the near future, but that wouldn’t be possible if my body wasn’t healthy.
As I was writing this, I remembered a quote that my aunt wrote in an album my mom gave me for my 13th birthday. It reads something like “There is no best way, only alternatives.” And everything suddenly made sense. There is only ONE choice in this life where there is a best way, and that is to follow God. To live out my faith following what He taught, to love God more than anything, and to love my neighbor above myself. This is the only true way to authentic happiness. This will ultimately lead to me becoming the best version of myself.
Everything else? Grain free vs high fat vs moderate carbs vs x,y,z, blah, blah, blah? That is doing absolutely nothing except distracting me from the single most important thing in my life: my faith. God made this universe with seemingly infinite stars in the sky, filled our world with countless creatures, vegetation, and landscapes, and created people with a free will. Not for the purpose of discovering a certain diet or skincare routine to achieve optimal happiness. But rather, for the purpose of coming to know him through all he has created, and through loving one another as he intended. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves. We are comprised of body, mind, and soul. We should love our bodies and take care of them. That means being conscious about what we put inside and on them, but with the end goal of having a healthy body that can praise Him, serve others, and spread hope and love where we go.
So is it even possible that there is a “best” diet, makeup, exercise regimen, type of school, or whatever it is that you’re so concerned about?
The real answer is, no, it’s not possible. Because to be the “best” would imply that it is perfect. At least in the sense that no competing diets, brands, regimens, or schools could have any sort of advantages over it. And the only being that could create such perfection would be God. So no, there is no “best” anything when it comes to all our material choices on earth. There are only good alternatives, and those are subjective to each individual. At the end of the day, which diet can you most easily follow that will leave you feeling energetic and able to focus on the more important things? Which makeup routine shows your natural beauty without taking too long so you can go love on your kids? Which exercise routine gives you that awesome feeling of accomplishment at the end and excitement to do it again? There’s not going to be just one answer, and that’s okay. The answer is going to change over time as your life changes, and that’s okay too. It might even change by the day.
As for me? I stopped trying to worry about which “diet” I will follow, and instead am focusing on making delicious, balanced meals for my family. I’m trying out different classes at the gym to see which ones I like. I’m accepting that when it comes to makeup, skincare, and hair, there aren’t any moral choices involved. If I choose to try out different brands, buy a cheaper one to allow more room in the budget, or buy a more expensive one that works better and will leave me less stressed and able to spend more quality time with my family and not in front of a mirror, get a perm so I won’t have to spend time styling my hair in the morning, that’s fine. It’s all fine.
It’s all going to be fine. Because by not obsessing over these less important things, I’m leaving room for joy.
