I used to write a lot more. It’s a lot of effort. Writing would help me reflect on what I thought. Forced me to slow down and think clearly and with purpose. Reading it back would help provide answers. I’ve stopped looking for answers. There is no point...
I get invited to do things. I was supposed to go to a Halloween party with friends. I’ve known about it for over a month. I just laid in bed watching the group chat scroll in their preparation. It makes me sad.
My family invited me over for dinner. I never responded to them. Never said I’d come and never said I wouldn’t. I intended to go but I didn’t...
Today I stayed in bed. Usually I’d play video games or create designs. Maybe I’d read up on something interesting. No I stayed in bed. I watched videos and told myself I was shit for doing anything fun if I didn’t go see anyone. I mean they invited me. All I had to do was leave my bed...
I’m sad. I am saddest when I fail. I force myself to reflect on why I am not interacting. I don’t play games I just lay there. Just let me sleep. I wish everyone would forget me. I wish I didn’t exist. One day I won’t but that’s not the same as never existing. I will wait patiently for existence to run its course. It doesn’t matter when it ends... it’s all pointless...
