#reflection on learning

[nicodemons-art]

A few different days of practice sketches ✨

My local secondhand art supply store had these micron pens for cheap so I decided it was time to learn how to use them! It’s a bit of a challenge for me— the only medium I am actually trained in (a little) is pencil/charcoal and I usually work with things I can erase or otherwise edit. You can probably see that I’m still doing pencil sketches first. I’m starting to feel better about the pens, though!

[majorstudydigitalmediaarts]

Cardomnia Project—Reflection on Learning

1. On "Concept": Style and Software Are Just Tools

In the past, both in Taiwan and when I first arrived in the UK, I always thought "concept art" meant mastering various software, such as Blender, ZBrush, and Unreal Engine. I believed it had to involve 3D and lean towards a realistic style to be considered a "real" concept artist.

This year, I've become even more convinced that learning new software and trying different workflows with an open mind really does help you improve. But I also got stuck in a loop of anxiety, stressing over why I couldn't master a realistic style like my classmates or quickly pick up various 3D programs.

Now, I can finally let go of my obsession with "style" and "software." I've realized that a "style" is ultimately there to serve the "artwork" itself. Concept art shouldn't be confined by any single style; the art should serve the "concept." If an idea calls for realism, then I’ll dive into realism. If it works better in a stylized way, then I’ll be bold and create a stylized piece.

It's the same thing with "software anxiety." A year ago, I wanted to "know everything," which only led to overthinking and exhaustion. Now I understand that instead of worrying about what I don't know, I should focus on asking: "What tools does my current project need to get better?"

Art serves the concept, and software should serve the art. Technology is always changing. If you don't take a step back to think about what you truly need, you'll just get trapped in the anxiety of trying to keep up, terrified of being left behind.

2. On "Creating": The Only Way to Beat Anxiety is to Act

During my year in the UK, I really felt the impact of "lacking experience because I hadn't created enough work."

A year ago, I had zero confidence in my drawing skills. I would even get nervous just picking up a pen because I was so afraid of making something "imperfect." But with the pressure of weekly deadlines, I remembered something our teacher told the class at the beginning of the year (I can't recall the exact words, but the gist was):

"Don't be afraid of not having progress. Even a single pixel is progress. And if you have no progress, we can talk about why."

Those words were a wake-up call. Maybe I had made the "creative process" out to be scarier than it really was. With the high-pressure deadlines, I learned firsthand that only "action" can ease "anxiety," and only "creating" can break you out of a "slump."

That’s because when you’re actually making something, your brain stops its imaginary overthinking and starts focusing on the work in front of you. Even if I felt like my drawing was terrible at that moment, my mind would at least start thinking: "Why does this look bad? Did I not find enough references? Is the lighting wrong? Or is the perspective off?" Once you start thinking, you start moving forward, even if it's just a tiny step.

After realizing this, I gradually let go of my perfectionism and learned to embrace my imperfections. I knew that the only way to get better was to actually draw. I finally understood that I had spent way too much time worrying instead of creating and gaining experience—whether that experience was a success or a failure.

Now, when I feel myself getting anxious, I’ve learned to remind myself: take it slow, but don't stop. By continuing to create, I’ll gain experience, and that experience will eventually help me grow. I guess this is the true meaning of "learning by doing."

3. On "The Future": Embracing the Unknown and Keep Exploring

I'm still not entirely sure what my future path looks like, but I have a much clearer picture than I did a year ago. I'm interested in exploring various styles and transforming static images into dynamic creations. After I return to Taiwan, I'll likely seek a full-time job while also taking on some freelance work.

Most importantly, this year has confirmed that I still love to draw, create, and bring an imaginary world to life through concept art. As long as I can make a living doing work related to drawing and design in the future, I'll be happy.