Some Jewish thoughts:
1. The think that I am is Reformodox. I look pretty secular, I can fit in with the secular world; I wear pants through the week, I refuse to Niddah, Shabbat is for abstaining from *work* but not enjoyment. The “-odox” part of me has a deep desire to still do the insular things of the Jewish community. I want to wear a tichel when I’m married, I want my husband and sons to wear kippot, I dress Tzniut on Shabbat, I want to talk parsha and Dvar Torah over Shabbat dinner.
2. I fell off the derech. I still like Judaism. I identify as religiously Jewish if you ask me. Just Max and the derech were so tied together, I needed separation. I need time right now. But after my lease is up I’m gonna move to Ottawa and get back on the derech somewhere completely separate of Max.