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I found the answer...
Im a Scanner...
Thank you, Barbara Sher....
NEW BOOK!! if only I had time to read it with all the personal projects I have on the go. Blogging Wiring (refitting antique lamps) Podcasting Job hunting And of course the novel I am (very slowly) writing . What projects are you involved in? . #refusetochoose #barbarasher #judgingbyitscover #nwotpodcast (at London, United Kingdom)
A Scanner...Darkly
Moving allows you, if you have a bit of time, a few dates with nostalgia. Packing and unpacking recently I came across ticket stubs, playbills, photos and some re-illuminating notes.
Often when I'm reading books that I own, I highlight lines or passages that speak to me. When I don't own the book, I write those things down. As I was organizing my surplus of notebooks in every shape, size, color, I came across notes from a book by Barbara Sher called "Refuse to Choose." Sometimes when I read these types of notes years after I took them, I wonder if the words will mean the same thing to me as they must have when I initially put pen to paper. In this case, they definitely did/do. What follows are some of the points I found so relatable then and now:
Having so many interests is difficult by itself, but being criticized for your inability to settle down and being worried that you'll never accomplish anything creates a load that 's just too heavy to carry.
Scanners always hear a clock ticking. Every time they see their birthday or the New Year coming, they start to panic. Will I ever get to use what's inside me? Will anyone know I was here?
A scanner senses her own talents but is pulled in so many directions she often accomplishes very little. As she watches the years pass, the picture of her still sitting on the sidelines when the game is over creates a growing sense of panic.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
You know as well as I do that unless the job has variety and learning built into it, sooner or later you'll get bored and if you're a scanner, you have zero tolerance for boredom. It hurts your brain. Boredom is the mind's way of rejecting anything that lacks nutrients. It's unpleasant for everyone, but it's hell on earth for scanners. [Amen!]
Scanners are smart, multitalented people. How do so many of them get so stuck?
Some scanners are simply too fast for the programs they're in. They finish early and lack the patience to wait for everyone else.
Scanners just know they can't do boring things. And they know that they really have no choice. Scanners love to learn more than they love to "know." ...when you reject what you really want, everything else feels like a poor substitute.
Scanners actually grow tired when they're underused.
I think it's time I hit up the library again to find and re-read this book.