#regesc

[silverook]

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓. I know you made him with gunmetal bones & wolf’s teeth. I know you made him to be a warrior & a soldier & a hero. But even gunmetal can warp & even wolf’s teeth can dull & I do not want to see him break the way old & worn & overused things do.

                        𝐈 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐎 𝐔𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

                                                𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐔𝐏 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐑𝐒.

I know that you will tell me that the world needs him. The world needs his heart & his faith  & his courage & his strength & his bones & his teeth & his blood & his voice & his– the world needs anything he will give them.

Damn the world, & damn you too. Damn anyone that ever asked anything of him, damn anyone that ever took anything from him, damn anyone that ever prayed to his name. You know that he will give them everything until there is nothing left of him but the rusted crown that his head once held royal. You know that he will bear the world like Atlas until his shoulders collapse & his knees buckle & he is crushed by all he used to carry.

Dear God, you have already made an Atlas. You have already made an Achilles & an Icarus & a Hercules. You have already made so many heroes, & you can make another again. You can have your pick of heroes. So please, I beg you – he is all that I have, & you have so many heroes & the world has so many more. Let him be soft, & let him be mine.

[zackfiar-a]

regesc replied to your post: grab hands at

ZACK FAIR!!! with his ideals of becoming a hero and making to 1st class while his views are being warped by the media!!! shinra is great!! SOLDIER is better because it produces some of the best heroes the world has ever seen!!! adults taking that mindset and manipulating him to do things for them, taking advantage of him!! altho i do think that genuinely thought for his well being but in the end its shinra that recruited an actual KID and not having the right mindset to turn him away because uh maybe taking child soldiers isnt the best play? im giving them too much credit

MEETING A MENTOR HE CAN TRUST!!!! taking every bit of information angeal gave him as truth! SOLDIER honor!! embrace ur dreams of being a hero!! whatever SOLDIER honor meant, if what angeal says is true then its gotta be ZACK THINKING THE ABSOLUTE WORLD OF HIM first seeing angeal as his mentor then a friend who he can be comfortable around only to turn out that he was an experiment from project g. i think that alone zack would still accept him because hes still angeal no matter its just how he went on thinking that hes a monster along with meeting genesis that those are wings of monsters!! sure zacks mind doesnt see them as that but the more he sees the horror of the underbelly of SOLDIER and shinra he finds that more true, that they are monsters 

BUT NO MATTER WHAT he still manages to keep a positive outlook!!! hes sad that angeal betrayed him and shinra, but as long as hes alive tho he cant help but be worried u know!! until he has to kill him by his hand and then well .... u know how that goes. 

i think out of all the ppl hes met that he can fully trust after that is kunsel, aerith, cloud, and sephiroth (even tho hes suspicious as well but even tho sephiroth pushed those missions on zack to intend to use him because hes a goddamn coward idk chief!!!) AND THAT DOESNT CHANGE when they get to nibelheim just gonna check a busted reactor u know skipping thru a field of flowers THEN BOOM u see those pods with long mutated humans into monsters and finding out what jenova rly is because genesis rly has to push sephiroth that he too is a monster and not at all human like he thought he was SO ZACK FEELS like he has to take the blame because hes the one that continued to push the conversation in that direction even tho he had no idea genesis was going to be there 

and then when sephiroth burns down nibelheim because hes a dramatic bitch and suddenly think hes god or something and i feel like zack is responsible for that too because u do see him in the basement of the shinra manor reading and he does try to get him to come out and talk but nothing ever happens beyond that so ofc w the burden that SOLDIER put on him, with angeal forcing zack to kill him, sephiroth forcing zack on these missions that deal with genesis and angeal, and even missions where none of these guys are involved, he constantly thinks that its his responsibility to deal with this mess which its not !!! zack shouldnt have to have this much pushed onto him!!! he just wanted to be a hero, not deal with the slack that genesis put down that escalated onto SOLDIER

and when hes put in that pod (oh boy i do love to talk about that), he GOT SO MANY OF HIS YEARS TAKEN FROM HIM. zack “im 18 but now im 23″ fair and he doesnt even realize it!!! he doesnt even know and he has to save cloud too because he thinks that its his fault for putting cloud in this scenario when it isnt!!! cloud shouldnt have ever come on that mission to nibelheim in the first place!! so now hes trying to run away from shinra while taking care of a comatose cloud which the most he can do is breathe.

and then when he finally deals with genesis and killing him off he doesnt feel any better than he did before!! talking it out was long gone esp with how many times he has attempted to kill him or take his cells because he was infused with jenovas. no one at SOLDIER rly thought of zack as a human tbh. not someone with feelings, a family, a relationship but ur a member of SOLDIER, someone whos all brute and only does things to help out the smarter ppl like. thats not what he wanted to be at all!! he was supposed to be a hero and at this point its still his goal but with a different take!! he wants to be a hero still but not like this never like this.

AND THEN THE SHINRA SHOWDOWN ugh !!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!! he didnt deserve this!!! literally fighting for his life (and this isnt the 1st time!!) to keep going and to be free!! in canon he literally gets gunned down, but we dont go for that. zack is on the brink of death, but with jenovas cells aid him to keep him alive!!! not like he asked for that because he kind of like .... WANTED to die, as long as cloud was still safe!! altho that was his whole goal at that point was keep cloud safe (because even tho they were both fugitives, genesis pointed out that cloud was the last being with perfect s cells, so he probably also thought that shinra wanted to recapture cloud for that too even having no idea they were both failed experiments). 

AND HONESTLY HE DOESNT HAVE THE TIME FOR THINGS TO CATCH up like the fact that he doesnt ever deal with his trauma, its always pushed to the back to be dealt with later and when he gets to midgar, he literally has no chance but to face it head on. he breaks down too!!! putting all the pieces together but now hes in a safe area where ppl actually care about him!! and hes so grateful for that!!! but even after all this; after being used, manipulated, lied to, he still has such a hopeful outlook on the future!!! yeah he realizes too late that shinra fucking SUCKS and so does SOLDIER and anyone who would want to be in it is a fool but no one knows that besides him, kunsel, and the other 1st classes (which sephiroth is presumed to be dead), not including hojo, or the other scientists that helped create this mess. 

overall zack is a good boy and i love him ...... SO MUCH he was just an innocent kid and look at him!!! hes got ptsd!!! 

[byulsa-arc]

@regesc asked:  U MENTIONED IT IN A POST SO *claps hands* tell me about tifa and grief! and pain! and how she explores + displays these emotions or doesnt display them, go on a huge ramble for me lemme HEAR UR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS LOVELY LADY.

tifa tends to DEFLECT when a conversation starts to move somewhere she’s uncomfortable with. i think it’s important because while she is a very supportive character, she hardly really ever get’s comfortable with people. we see her care, but never really friendly, which is really interesting when she meets aerith because after some initial hesitation-- tifa shows more affection and care to aerith than she has the rest of the cast. why that is will come at a later time though.

so, on the note of deflection, it obviously has a lot to do with her trauma. she doesn’t UNDERSTAND what happened that night of the incident in nibelheim. she knows shinra + sephiroth is the cause but she has no idea what was going on, why her childhood home had to burn up in flames + why her father had to die while she didn’t. there isn’t much she can really say, other than what happened. she has no explanation, she doesn’t remember the journey to midgar-- and not so long after she was abandoned by the only other person who shared her trauma. she’s often frustrated, because when she does have fits of nightmares of that night she’s still left with questions instead of answers. there’s no closure there. she suppresses it because she doubts there ever will be. tifa tries to focus on the present to do some good and while that helps quell some of the pain and keeps her true nature intact, she’s always running from the problem rather than admitting it’s there.

a productive way she expresses her feelings are through letters. she never intends to send these out, they’re more like a journal to get everything she wants to say-- out. she has a hard time expressing herself outside of a positive manner. i’ve mentioned previously but tifa has a little bit of an IDOL complex due to it being forced upon her from a young age. think of the popular girl type in ‘the half of it’ where she never wanted to be seen as the archetype. though it didn’t matter because she had people always try to impress her and follow her around for superficial reasons. she’s heard other parents joke from a young age how cute it’d be if she married their son. In consequence, often ignores men who constantly flirt with her and sets clear friend only boundaries. because of this, tifa has a strong sense of LONELINESS and often takes comfort in giving as much kindness as possible, even if it means holding her tongue. from a young age she’s always learned to keep people an arms length away unless you treat her like a person and even then it takes awhile for her to open up. she’ll write her frustrations away in her little leather bound journal, brush her hair & go to sleep. in the morning it’s like nothing ever happened. rinse and repeat.

when she is able to voice her grief and pain... she’s a very emotional person. even if she doesn’t speak on it, she feels things IMMENSELY. it piles up in the back of her heart like poison and she’ll breakdown, unable to keep it in anymore. it’s never violent, it’s just as if she’s keeping years worth of tears in a bottle and finally letting them go. her sobs are heart wrenching and loud and she has little control over them. the pain is raw as if everything had just happened within the last five minutes. it gets better overtime, she’ll be able to talk about her past with people she trusts in a way that’s not ridden with guilt but it takes a lot of work.

[sharp-shot]

@regesc is one of my favorite nocts because we can do dumb shit like this and it makes my work day so much better. i l u noct ♥️

[fctcdimpcct]

“Noct!!”

@regesc​

[ohoracle]

‘ i’m headed somewhere better if i have to crawl there on all fours. ’

Her     smile     is     sad,     but     then     again     it     almost     always     was     when     it     came     to     them;     the     moon     and     the     night,     those     chosen     to     save     this     wretched     star.     “I     don’t     think     it     will     come     to     that.     At     least,     I     surely     hope     it     won’t.”     Pale     fingers     twist     white     strands     into     braids     easily,     cerulean     eyes     sorrowful     as     she     tucks     one     of     Nyx’s     beads     at     the     end     of     it.     “We     —     we     have     the     unfortunate     duty     of     bearing     the     mistakes     of     those     that     came     before     us.     Even     the     mistakes     that     had     good     intentions.     Ours     are     not     easy     lives     to     live,     but     that     doesn’t     necessarily     mean     we     must     suffer     on     the     way     to     making     the     world     a     better     place.”     Her     words     are     little     more     than     bandaids,     soothing     sounds     meant     to     assuage     wounds     that     were     over     a     decade     old     but     still     felt     fresh     to     this     day.     𝑻𝒉𝒆     𝑶𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆     𝒂𝒏𝒅     𝒕𝒉𝒆     𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒈,     last     of     their     lines,     shrouded     in     tragedy     and     trauma.  

“We     don’t     deserve     these     lives     we’ve     been     forced     into.     But     we     —     we     owe     it     to     ourselves,     to     try     and     be     better     than     those     who     came     before     us.     Our     parents,”     for     a     moment,     she     wants     to     cry     for     Sylva,     but     she     has     shed     more     than     enough     tears     over     the     years,     “did     what     they     thought     was     best.     To     give     us     the     best     shot     we     had     at     saving     the     world.     We’ve     literally     had     the     weight     of     the     world     on     our     shoulders     since     you     were     born.”     Her     laughter     is     bittersweet     as     she     reaches     over     to     tuck     an     errant     lock     of     hair     behind     his     ear,     nose     scrunching     when     it     flies     back     up     into     the     air.     Luna     had     longed     for     days     like     this     for     what     felt     like     eons,     having     them     left     a     foriegn     taste     on     her     tongue.     “You     need     not     suffer     to     achieve     the     life     you     want     for     yourself,     for     your     friends,     dear     Noctis.     There     are     those     willing     to     help     you.     All     you     need     to     do     is     ask.”

@regesc​ / accepting / songs for pierre chuvin

[fellfalcon]

@regesc​ | griffith & noctis

“ every man, within his lifetime, should at least hope for a life he can sacrifice to the god of dreams. to live, simply because on is alive, is not enough. ”

[niflim]

@regesc​ replied to your post “Y’ALL COMIN’ FOR THIS B.OTTOM I GUESS”

BOTTOMS HAVE RIGHTS!!

        cloud says everyone has rights but bottoms have THE MOST rights