Hi. I'm one of those people who has anxiety/panic attacks.
They started after my parents got divorced and my mom kicked me out of the house. I've learned recently that they are typically triggered by the following (and typically in this order)
Some form of relationship stress (could be familial, could be platonic, could be romantic. doesn't really matter. It could even be something really small and insignificant that usually has no effect on me, like, "Mom decided to go to her boyfriend's," or "Dad forgot to feed the dog." They seem insignificant, but combined with #1 and #3, the little things can trigger much larger past issues.)
What I've gathered, the best things you can do for me:
Get me a mug of water if I haven't done that already. Also a tortilla or a piece of bread. Remind me to take a sip of water or a nibble of the tortilla every few minutes.
Hold me close and remind me to breathe. Being close makes it easy for me to feel your breathing and focus on something that's not me and the swarm of shit in my head. It's also a physical reminder that I am, in fact, not alone.
Ask me questions. I probably need to get the shit in my head out of my head. Once they are words in the air they are gone and I don't process them anymore because I know someone else has heard them. They don't have to keep spinning in my head.
Remind me to lower my voice and slow down. It helps keep my calm and prevents me from hyperventilating- which is a really shitty, but common symptom for me when I go into a panic attack.
If I need to pace- PLEASE DO NOT pace with me. It creates more anxious/nervous energy and makes things harder for me.
You'll know when the recuperation phase hits. The sobbing has stopped, I'm breathing normally, and I've probably grown silent and sleepy. Here are a few things you can do:
Talk to me. I feel guilty for putting you through everything above, so now it's your turn to talk. Talk about anything. Just, let me be the one to listen for awhile.
Play with my hair. It's soothing and ties into the "safety" thing on that other post. If you are talking and playing with my hair, I know that you are not angry with me for what I've put you through.
Please don't leave me alone. I need to reset via sleep before I can comfortably be alone again. If you need to go, I understand, but please set me up with a movie and blankets or something first so I can be distracted. Swan Princess, Anastasia, and Labyrinth are typically good non-triggering movies for me.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm gonna tag a few people because they're the ones who will probably need to see this and who have probably tried to help me in the past. Thank you for everything you've done for me in the past.
Everyone else, sorry for taking up your dash space?