Feb 14, 2023
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Egypt
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Belarus
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from United States
Hi. I'm one of those people who has anxiety/panic attacks.
They started after my parents got divorced and my mom kicked me out of the house. I've learned recently that they are typically triggered by the following (and typically in this order)
Lack of sleep
Some form of relationship stress (could be familial, could be platonic, could be romantic. doesn't really matter. It could even be something really small and insignificant that usually has no effect on me, like, "Mom decided to go to her boyfriend's," or "Dad forgot to feed the dog." They seem insignificant, but combined with #1 and #3, the little things can trigger much larger past issues.)
Being alone
What I've gathered, the best things you can do for me:
Get me a mug of water if I haven't done that already. Also a tortilla or a piece of bread. Remind me to take a sip of water or a nibble of the tortilla every few minutes.
Hold me close and remind me to breathe. Being close makes it easy for me to feel your breathing and focus on something that's not me and the swarm of shit in my head. It's also a physical reminder that I am, in fact, not alone.
Ask me questions. I probably need to get the shit in my head out of my head. Once they are words in the air they are gone and I don't process them anymore because I know someone else has heard them. They don't have to keep spinning in my head.
Remind me to lower my voice and slow down. It helps keep my calm and prevents me from hyperventilating- which is a really shitty, but common symptom for me when I go into a panic attack.
If I need to pace- PLEASE DO NOT pace with me. It creates more anxious/nervous energy and makes things harder for me.
You'll know when the recuperation phase hits. The sobbing has stopped, I'm breathing normally, and I've probably grown silent and sleepy. Here are a few things you can do:
Talk to me. I feel guilty for putting you through everything above, so now it's your turn to talk. Talk about anything. Just, let me be the one to listen for awhile.
Play with my hair. It's soothing and ties into the "safety" thing on that other post. If you are talking and playing with my hair, I know that you are not angry with me for what I've put you through.
Please don't leave me alone. I need to reset via sleep before I can comfortably be alone again. If you need to go, I understand, but please set me up with a movie and blankets or something first so I can be distracted. Swan Princess, Anastasia, and Labyrinth are typically good non-triggering movies for me.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm gonna tag a few people because they're the ones who will probably need to see this and who have probably tried to help me in the past. Thank you for everything you've done for me in the past. Everyone else, sorry for taking up your dash space?
I had a dream last night that I was a witch and the theatre dept was actually our town's Hogwarts.
but no one knew about it and not all the the theatre students had magic. It was like a secret club? And that's why Head-Instructor hated me so much, because he was a squib and knew I was muggle-born. But our powers don't develop until around age 20, and we are not told about our powers till age 21 when it can be absolutely confirmed, so I didn't even know! But Tona did because she's also a witch, and that's why she likes me so much.
Anyway. There was a big bad problem of some sort and Outcast-Instructor, who alongside with Costume-Instructor taught us about our magic, called all the magic-folk in the department to a meeting, sent us back in time, and we started training to destroy the big bad problem. With Tona, I ran into younger Head-Instructor and he was super dorky/kinda charming. I told him "later, you'll see me again. Much later. Like in a few years. Just remember, I don't hate you."
Tona and I left, towards the mountain. We had to solve riddles there to strengthen our minds. I picked up a stick and it totally worked as a wand! I would focus on an image, imagine it appearing, growing from my wand, will it to grow and BAM I was making flowers all over the place!! :D The first one I made was a rose, which I gave to Tona. Then I was weaving forget-me-nots in my hair.
The forget-me-nots reminded Tona and she leaned over to whisper, "Chase isn't leaving anymore." "What?" "Yeah, he's staying in town to continue his training."
I had the biggest sinking feeling ever, because it all clicked into place. Lorenzo's family was right; the spells were real, and Enzo was not a wizard, and so he would continue on with his muggle-life and go to school elsewhere.... but for people like me, like Tona, like Chase... if we wanted to learn to use our powers, we had to stay stay here. Distraught, I went to turn the bush beside me into a giant rose-bush... but I was too distracted and accidentally transformed it into a dragon. :( So Tona trapped the dragon in a tree... and I woke up.
I realized I have gifs that accurately depict my friends' drunkedness....
Enzo:
Chase:
paperkami replied to your post: remember that time when I played Mulan? Everyone...
OKAY THIS IS THE MOST APPROPRIATE USE FOR THIS REACTION GIF
LMFAO I WAS SO HOPING SOMEONE WOULD NOTICE
I desperately wanted a Mulan gif to use there, and as soon as I typed in Mulan this was like.. the third gif? I stopped looking and laughed for a solid 5 minutes.
but you hate the ocean
This is true. But if I were a mermaid, I would learn all about everything in the ocean that I hate, and know all the secrets, and all the places I can and should not ever, ever, ever go.
I would likely be more terrified of the land if I were a mermaid.
….
Yeah. No. I take that back. I would never leave my home if I were a mermaid. There are still things much, much larger/toothier than myself in those waters… I would spend all day wishing I was on land…. Why did you have to go and ruin my illusions of mermaid-grandeur?
SPEAKING OF. YOU CAN DIE ONE OF 2 WAYS:
burn to death at the stake. OR drowned. (no specifications there because eeek I can’t even stand to think about specifying ways to drowned…)
WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?!?
hatshepsut9, paperkami, and i have this love triangle thing going on with our posts. lol
alsonotagoddess sometimes finds her way into the triangle to give us a square.
YOUR BLOG IS GOLD and I'm very excited for having stumbled upon it. That's all. Rock on.