Little Blue Pill
How long had it been since the last dose? It couldn't have been more then a few hours and yet she was starting to feel the wavering effects of the drug start to leave her system. Was she building a tolerance for it already? So soon? How could she possibly peddle this if -she- could build a resistance in less than a Sweep.
An icy chill ran down her spine and made her chest tighten while her skin broke out in a cold sweat. Holding her head in her hands while she sat silently in her recupricoon. She was alone again and yet she could still hear the voices mutter in her head. They've grown louder. The soft muttering reaching fever pitches that drowned out everything else.
While her skin prickled from a phantom chill her chest burned with a heat that was eating at her from the inside. "Fuck, fuck," it never felt like this before. Peeking from between her fingers she glanced across her block. The room was empty aside from her and yet she could see him as clear as day. A ghost that continued to haunt her even through the blue haze.
She stumbled out of her recupricoon, green slime splattering across her clean, immaculate floors. A trail followed her into the ablutiontrap. In the dark she didn't bother to flip on the switch as she rummaged through her cabinet for the little clear bottle. The contents were mocking her with their ever shortening effects.
Popping the top off and shaking a pill into her palm. Just feeling the smooth surface of the tablet roll around on her hand gave her some calm. Popping it into her mouth and swallowing without another thought.
A moment passes.
A minute passes.
In the dark she can still hear the little voice. One more. One more wont hurt. She can still feel, she can still see him out of the corner of her eyes.
Her eyes. She doesn't stop once to look at herself as she pops another blue pill into her mouth and swallows it down dry. Everything starts to go quiet again. She doesn't feel the chill anymore nor the tightness in her chest. But is it enough? Will she just feel this all over again in a few short hours?
Another one. Just one more.
Ambris feels her hands shake as she hesitates this time. It wont hurt. It doesn't hurt. One more. One more to make it through the day. As the drug starts to take it's effect her hands feel steady and she chalks it up to rational thinking. Yeah, it's going to be ok, she tells herself.
Clumsily closing the bottle and setting it back into her medicine cabinet.
"Ambris, are you ok?" The sudden knocking at her door made her jump, dropping the bottle into the sink and spilling the contents all over. Her answer to him was a hushed curse. She couldn't let him see her like this. But try as she might to open her mouth and speak the words don't come. Having no choice now but to flip on the lights and fish around for the displaced drugs. Plucking them up one by one till she had collected most of them.
He can't find out. He wouldn't understand. That little voice cooed softly into her ear. A slow and welcoming calm settled on her shoulders as she turned her hand over and stared at the small collection of blue capsules in her palm.
"Ambris, I know you're there. Just," Reiley stood outside her door, that little hint of dread refused to let him go back to bed. SOmething was up and he refused to give up on the feeling. "Just let me in and we can talk."
Turning her gaze toward the sound, finding that the sound of the knocking and even his voice started to feel distant. He was too far away to help her now. Her moirail did all he could to help but she had the solution right her. In her own two hands she made the cure to the pain. So when she brought her hand to her lips and filled her mouth with the remaining pills she struggled to swallow this time. Pulling her hair back and lowering her head to the faucet to make it just a little easier.
That's a good girl.
It hit her harder than any previous tests had. Her legs felt weak and she felt... nothing. Her hands gripped the sides of the sink, mustering all her strength to keep herself from completely collapsing. There's weakness in her knees and a sudden roiling in her stomach while her vision goes hazy. She knew she was going to be sick but she doesn't care. The familiar numbness starts to blanket her. It’s what she needed, it kept the pain at bay.
Ambris blinks, pupils dilating as she starts to black out. Her hold slackens and with the sopor pooled around her feet she slips. There's no time to stop her fall, the back of her head hitting the wall behind her before sliding down to the floor. She's unconscious before she hits the ground.
Reiley, knowing there's nothing good going on behind closed doors, foregoes his moirail's privacy to break down the door. The door crumbles under his metal arm and the room is empty. The light of the ablutiontrap is on and the door wide open.
Sprawled on the cold tile is his moirail, unresponsive to his touch and not breathing. Panic, horror, fear, Reiley can't focus on either one. He can only curse over and over while he rolled her onto her back and start cpr. Screaming her name between choked sobbed and brown tears.
