#rejectswriting

[mymainhippy]

“are you really such a mess?” he asked me.

and i am, i am, i am. I’m a mess of a girl and i never lied about that. i’ve got ice in my veins and fire in my soul, i have death in my head and life in my heart.

i cry so much i have oceans between my ribcage, and i bite my tongue so often i’m surprised it hasn’t broken in two. i choke on unspoken words and my spine cracks under the weight of all the trainwreck thoughts coursing through my brain. 

i’m sad, sad, sad. flowers used to bloom in my fingertips, but they stopped growing after people ripped them out because they wanted a piece of me for themselves. then they left and never came back, and now i have fragments of me scattered everywhere.

i’m walking a tightrope and i can’t find my balance, i’m constantly leaning too much towards one side or the other- no end in sight, no peace in finding my middle. i’m trying though, somehow i’ve managed to stay on this far. 

i love, love, love. love too hard, too much. pour everything i am into him, pull the moon out of the sky just to see him smile. he’s everything, he’s beautiful he’s broken, but i am too. we all are. 

he asks why, why, why. i say because you are the sun and the moon and the stars all combined into one.

[anne-on-going-story]

Trying to Explain Love to Logic

I asked you what love is? how do you know this is love? what makes you sure? laying on the bed your eyes lost in a universe of constellations and equations in a spirit so free and wild logic seems to rule over you control and posses you manipulation you say gets you through life however has logic manipulated you? you think that love is just a chemical process love is a mix of hormones and neurons brain and muscles science and logic love is logic you proclaim in the beginning that is perhaps the most illogical thing to say for a man ruled by logic for a man so fixated on a designed set of rules and regulations how could you possibly fall in love? with me love is illogical irrational and boundless it cannot be understood scholars and scientists and mathematicians and physicists could try to understand but be stuck on the puzzle find no solution for love has no answer and cannot be answered love has no set recipe you cannot simply bake love with exactly 2 cups of this and 3 tablespoons of that love has no set measurement you cannot simply use a ruler, a flask, a beaker using centimeters or millimeters love cannot be created in a lab with Chemical A + Chemical B Equals Product Love C that when you say I fell complete you that its not the hypothalamus excreting some hormone but it is you falling in love letting go releasing the chains of logic you have created I can see you letting go the weird impromptu faces, the ways to make me laugh, you being yourself seeing you finally be happy allowing yourself to be happy to not beckon the wishes of logic but rather to see your heart and what it is saying let your heart beat out of your shirt let your emotions pour out like spilled tea let your smile go on for miles with its bumpy trails and smooth finishes you may spend hours trying to find the answer to love my Darling but the simplest thing is to stop searching to stop pining for that solution to stop calculating the answer but to live in the present to hold my hand to kiss me and let me melt into your arms to love me with no expectations to say I love you with out any reason just because the feeling is there logic is with you and always will be but love is growing on you adding petals to that beautiful flowers of yours perhaps logic needed a friend all these years perhaps logic needed a lover too