Your thoughts are beautiful but it's clear carlos doesn't know about tk relapse at dinner fight, tk makes comment that he must go to carlos if will have feeling to relapse or he might not go to carlos bc carlos isn't what he needs and carlos says that of he would want tk to confide in him and he would want that. If they already had a talk about tk wanting to relapse before they wouldn't talk about this like it never happened before.
Oh, thanks for this ask, nonny, but I didn't take it that way. Carlos is asking TK to come to him before he wants to use, to talk about it and help prevent that from happening. What TK is telling Carlos is talking to Carlos specifically about wanting to use isn't as helpful to TK as talking to someone else who struggles with the same impulses. There's a beautiful moment in the West Wing where Leo McGarry is talking to an intern played by the fabulous Lisa Weil right before she landed Gilmore Girls. And they're talking about his addiction and he is talking about how he doesn't want one drink he wants twelve, and she asks if things are that bad, and he says no, I'm an addict. And I love that conversation because it's really hard to understand that it's not just when things are bad, or it's not a coping mechanism, even though sometimes it is. It's a compulsion that all the love and care from your family cannot necessarily stop. It's for an addict to stop. And sometimes you need other people who have been there to remind you of what you're doing and how to do it. To be the objective outsider to take apart your disordered thinking and not someone who loves you and thinks the best of you when you're busy thinking the worst of yourself. I think Carlos knows about the previous near-miss because TK would have told him after the fact. This is a thing that almost happened. I made a choice and my dad caught me. It even, to me, makes more sense that Carlos would want so desperately to know what TK is feeling and thinking before hand, because he had no idea when he left the loft in 3.08 that TK wanted to use, and probably wouldn't have left the apartment if he'd known. TK does talk about his thinking and feeling after he's processed it, or even during. We see it in the opening Tarlos scene when TK comes home from his meeting and talks about his thinking and feeling. He talks about it during the scene when he needs a second meeting and TK can't put his finger on what's wrong but he tells Carlos he's restless. Just because he's not able to go in depth with Carlos doesn't mean he's not saying anything at all.
