Why is it cute when cas wont kill dean and instead save him but when its the brothers doing it its too codependent and unhealthy. I just thought about it and I think its cute with dean and cas but idk is it because s&d have done it so often??
This is all referring to Carver-era stuff - not because anything before that is being ignored, but because what is going on now and their ways of interacting with each other are all being highlighted & (hopefully) being fixed under Carver.
There's more to the codependency than just saving each other - if that was all that Sam & Dean did, then it would be just as cute. But it's not. The codependency goes much, much deeper than that. It's the fact that they put everything - and I mean everything, the entire world included - behind each other. Dean didn't care that he was giving up the safety of the entire planet, possibly forever, for the sake of one person. They each made it pretty clear that they don't see room for other people in each other's lives when Sam made Dean give up Benny, and Dean made Sam give up Amelia. They've both become so brainwashed into thinking that the only thing they are allowed to care about is each other (Dean even more so than Sam, though Sam isn't immune to it at all) that they genuinely don't believe that they're allowed other relationships of any sort - not friends, not romantic partners. There's also the huge power differential between Sam & Dean - while Dean is generally filled with self loathing & disgust with himself, he also has had it so ingrained into him that he must protect Sammy at all costs that he often falls into removing Sam's agency altogether. Tricking him into saying yes to Zeke/Gadreel was one of the ultimate examples of that, as was his attitude in 9.22 when he told Sam that they were in a dictatorship and Sam didn't get a say. There is absolutely no denying that Dean & Sam love each other completely, but their upbringing has resulted in that love twisting into something it shouldn't be.
Dean and Cas on the other hand have a much more even, healthy relationship. They are honest (these days, anyway) with each other in a way that they just aren't with anyone else. Dean will open up with Cas, Cas will open up to Dean, and they'll call each other out on their bullshit. Cas will say no to Dean when he feels Dean is giving him orders. They can spend time apart. They may not necessarily like it, but they can do it. They help each other when it is needed, and they'll back off when it's not. They allow each other agency, and while they'll advise against courses of action if they disagree, they'll still be there for each other to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong. Cas hasn't judged Dean for the decisions he has made, but we can be pretty sure that he'll help in any way he can to help fix them.
As for this time around? I think it's pretty safe to say that if there is a way for Cas to avoid having to kill Dean, then that's what he'll do, but I think that if it comes down to it, and there really is no other choice then Cas is the most likely to go ahead and grant Dean's wish and kill him. Personally, I hope it won't come to that (I'm a huge fan of the idea that Cas could find and then use up his grace to help Dean deal with the MoC), but there's no way Sam would be able to do it, and while Cas would rather do anything else, I think he both would honour Dean's wishes, and not put an untold number of others in danger if he knew there was no way to help Dean.
