I like how L's "I am that monster" speech can be interpreted either as L having a superiority complex and thinking about himself as ubermensch, either as L having an inferiority complex and hating his own nature for making him unable to be a normal person. As someone who felt both these ways about my own neurodivergence, I can project myself on L both ways.
Hi anon. That’s an interesting perspective. This ask seems to come from a personal place so I don’t mean to knock your feelings about the speech or L. These are just my thoughts about L and that speech.
I guess its hard for me to see how that speech (in the Relight movie) implies that L thinks of himself as superior in that way. Nietzsche’s ‘ubermensch’ is a term I could see applying to how Light viewed himself-- someone transcending humanity who feels fit to impose their own morals and will on the world to transform it. Light wanted to do that but L never cared to. Nietzsche ties the ubermensch to the death of God, and this slots in well with Light’s knowledge of Mu as a motivating factor to make the most of his life on Earth while he could (per Ohba’s view of the message of the manga). When Ryuk told told Light that there was nothing for humans after death, only everlasting nothingness for good and bad people alike, that’s a god-killing statement. (I don’t really like the term ubermensch because of the historical connotations but that’s beside the point)
But back to L, I don’t recall seeing in his thoughts that he explicitly believed himself to be superior over others but it probably shows in how he speaks to Matsuda and Misa-- calling them ‘stupid’ or implying it, etc. L always thought he was right and (usually) that his way was the best, but the sum total of his efforts in life had indeed proven to himself and others that he was a singular kind of person. He was realistic about his abilities and intelligence, and could be callous to those who didn’t share them. Smart people can be dicks about that sometimes lol. So, I can’t really buy that he believed he was inferior.
If I had to guess, L accepted he was different from most people in ways both good and bad and didn’t find a lot of value in bemoaning it after figuring that out. He accepted himself as he was, for better or worse, because understanding himself and his strengths/limitations was also a kind of power. The ‘worse’ part could play into that speech about monsters and which kind he felt he was-- cunning monsters who always tell lies, have no understanding of the human heart, cannot form friendships or love, cannot feel hunger, who attain knowledge without appreciating or advancing it. If this is how L views himself it is bleak but he states it so matter-of-factly I cannot equate it with self-hate. It feels like deep self-acceptance, to the point that he doesn’t see himself changing, and recognizes its a weakness that someone like him could identify and exploit.
So, his answer to the kid at Wammy’s, to name his fear, is meeting a ‘monster’ like himself who also knew what they were, because that would be the one who could beat him.