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Margaux · Song · 2019

12 & 14, for remix.

Remix

12. Does your muse ever experience lack of interest in things that they usually enjoy?

It's like a nagging itch that won't go away when the boredom sets in. It's the monotonous ticking of the clock that drums against his nerves. He feels unsettled in his borrowed flesh, he grinds his teeth. Nothing feels good and that's how he categorizes things. Enjoyment it's just a fancy word for good, and this feeling was bad. It's like everything came to a stand still and he was stuck in the middle of it. His favorite food tasted bland, the video games he would play became boring.

This feeling of disinterest would soon be followed by the unrelenting torrent of memories that weren't exactly his own. Made him pick at his stitches and scratch around his neck. Until his brown skin became speckled with little red lines. Every little thing is pissing him off and he becomes less enjoyable to be around. (Not like any normal person should like being around him.) He'll go from whining about being bored to picking fights. This mood would never strike often, it comes around every blue moon. It's the only time he deliberately picks fights with his… "roommate".

He often bullies her for his own amusement, usually something she does naturally. But when he gets into one of these moods his poking a prodding becomes sharper to enlist a response. This is one of the many solutions for this, sometimes even that does help and he just goes to sleep for a week and gets back up as if he simply got rebooted. This feeling or lack of interest in things he once enjoyed. Would probably be a sign of depression but he just marks it up to the mood swings of being a walking, talking, corpse.

14. Does your muse tend to turn their anger and negativity inward or outward?

His bad mood is everyone's bad mood. Nonone gets a pass when they are angry. His emotions are never as complex as a human should be; they swing from one extreme to another. He is always sorta stuck on anger as a normal response. But there is a subtle difference between excitedly annoyed to genuine anger.

His anger is never turned inward because it always seems to be someone else causing him the emotion. Whether it be his roommate and her incested mewing and crying. Some poor random soul that bumped into him and spun around to say something smart. Only to get dragged into an alleyway and gut like a fish. Some would say he is incapable of feeling anger or negative thoughts towards himself. It is meant to go out towards everyone else.

And that would be the whole truth but it is only partially. If it wasn't for his mother.

The only significant manifestation of negative thoughts being inflicted upon himself. Is once again produced by someone outside of his body. He visits her at least twice a year and could possibly correlate to his sudden drop of enjoyment of things that usually make him happy. His brother would never forgive him for allowing their mother to be truly alone. So for his mandatory visit the belittling, mockery, snide remarks, sink their fangs deep into him. It's the only person that can hurt him, and the only one he allows to be hurt by. Those negative all sound like his mother anyway.

#musing #remix;#answers #makes kisses noises come get your food//#of course I do remix first//